354 – The Touch of Magneto
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In which Onslaught is a party that goes on way too long; we are grateful that the Hand is mostly someone else’s problem; there’s always time to get hosed down by firemen; and Emma Frost should never, under any circumstances, cook.
X-PLAINED:
- The Golden Archer
- Wolverine #104-105
- Generation X #18-19
- Portions of Elektra’s deal
- Stick
- Wolverine’s nose
- Gateway and Onslaught
- Several flashbacks
- The Onslaught goblin
- Retcons and character accountability
- A wet open
- A somewhat atypical plane flight
- Toad by way of Chris Bachalo
- The mysterious DL
- Emma’s Montreal mansion and its staff
- Cooking with Emma Frost
- Quasi-benevolent mind control
- Surgeon
- A bonus Shadowcat power
- Digital invisibility
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught tie-ins!
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As Mentioned in Episode 353 – Scientists and Superheroes
Listen to the episode here.
LINKS & FURTHER SPINOFFS
- I’m pretty sure we’ve linked to Robert Cop before, but just in case, here you go.
353 – Scientists and Superheroes
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In which Dark Beast is an unlikely father figure; Wild Child remains low-budget Wolverine; X-Factor foreshadows the XSE; no one else thwarts Richardses on Doom’s watch; the cow goes “hate”; and Juggernaut fails to grow as a person.
X-PLAINED:
- The Red Ghost
- Onslaught thus far
- X-Factor #126
- Fantastic Four #416
- X-Men Unlimited #12
- Random’s origins (kind of)
- Pinochle
- Kristoff Vernard
- Several villains
- Juggernaut’s adventures in the Gem of Cyttorak
- Gomurr the Ancient (again)
- Spite
- Unreliable narrators
- The evolution of Cyttorak
- Wolverine’s hair
- X-arcs we’d like to see as video games
NEXT EPISODE: To nobody’s surprise, Onslaught.
CORRECTION: Kristoff Vernard is not in fact a clone of Doctor Doom.
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HAWK TALK – Bugs
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This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and Miles talked about bugs (and Tea Fougner taught us about bees)!
As mentioned in the episode: bee cute furry face
As Mentioned in Episode 352 – Onslog
Listen to the episode here.
LINKS & FURTHER CHOREOGRAPHY
352 – Onslog
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In which Onslaught: Phase 2 does not live up to the promise of Phase 1; Hulk is not the most trustworthy individual; Miles is his own best audience; Sentinels know their continuity; and true heroism is scored by James Horner.
X-PLAINED:
- The Phoenix Five
- Onslaught thus far
- The Incredible Hulk #445
- Invincible Iron Man #332
- Avengers #402
- Pea Soup Hulk
- Falcon’s late cousin Jim
- The word “ebon”
- Tunneling logistics
- An uncomfortable lesson
- Immortal Hulk and why you should be reading it
- Fancy hats
- Science Made Stupid
- Teen Tony Stark (more) (again)
- Sneaking
- Onslaught’s best epithet
- The sound of heroism
- Thor’s “shirt”
- Headgear
NEXT EPISODE: Additional Onslaught!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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As Mentioned in Episode 351 – His Mighty Hand
351 – His Mighty Hand
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In which we enter Phase 2 of Onslaught; Cable is a man of many purposes; Onslaught gets a makeover; Intentions only matter if you’re Longshot; and Sue Richards will pull over this crossover event right now if you don’t behave.
X-PLAINED:
- Red Onslaught
- Onslaught Phase 1
- Uncanny X-Men #336
- Cable #35
- X-Man #19
- X-Force #58
- A large number of team-ups
- Onslaught, but make it a seder
- Watcher undercarriage
- Onslaught’s second form
- Cable and Apocalypse vs. Onslaught
- Nate Grey vs. Sinister
- A trap
- Several flashbacks and fantasies
- Symbolic roles within X-Force
- What Banshee’s sonic scream sounds like
- Pecs as envisioned by Franklin Richards
NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught, of course.
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As Mentioned in Episode 350 – The Xavier Protocols
Listen to the episode here!


LINKS & FURTHER CHOICES
- Caps for Sale is a real and delightful book!
- “Magneto’s Cape” is based on “Lily’s Eyes” from the excellent Secret Garden musical.