Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 353 – Scientists and Superheroes

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Forge X-Plains. (X-Factor #126)
Wait, if she’s also visible as herself, why does it even MATTER which wings she uses? (X-Factor #126)
Don’t steal the man’s tagline. (X-Factor #126)
I really enjoy this cover. (Fantastic Four #416)
“NOBODY menaces the Richardses but me!” (Fantastic Four #416)
Aw his silly device. (Fantastic Four #416)
“You have my abs.” (Fantastic Four #416)
THIS WEIRDO (Fantastic Four #416)
“DOOM WOULD ALSO ENJOY A LATTE.” (Fantastic Four #416)
This page super reminds me of the credits of the movie Help! (X-Men Unlimited #12)
They were cooler when they were just a neon sign come to life. (X-Men Unlimited #12)
This probably happens to Strange a lot. (X-Men Unlimited #12)
I’m sorry, Spite; I can’t take you seriously without a Y and possibly a gratuitous apostrophe in your name. (X-Men Unlimited #12)
A large boy. (X-Men Unlimited #12)
…they fight crime! (X-Men Unlimited #12)
NEXT EPISODE: some bullshit.

LINKS & FURTHER SPINOFFS

  • I’m pretty sure we’ve linked to Robert Cop before, but just in case, here you go.

353 – Scientists and Superheroes

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Dark Beast is an unlikely father figure; Wild Child remains low-budget Wolverine; X-Factor foreshadows the XSE; no one else thwarts Richardses on Doom’s watch; the cow goes “hate”; and Juggernaut fails to grow as a person.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Red Ghost
  • Onslaught thus far
  • X-Factor #126
  • Fantastic Four #416
  • X-Men Unlimited #12
  • Random’s origins (kind of)
  • Pinochle
  • Kristoff Vernard
  • Several villains
  • Juggernaut’s adventures in the Gem of Cyttorak
  • Gomurr the Ancient (again)
  • Spite
  • Unreliable narrators
  • The evolution of Cyttorak
  • Wolverine’s hair
  • X-arcs we’d like to see as video games

NEXT EPISODE: To nobody’s surprise, Onslaught.

CORRECTION: Kristoff Vernard is not in fact a clone of Doctor Doom.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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HAWK TALK – Bugs

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This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and Miles talked about bugs (and Tea Fougner taught us about bees)!

As mentioned in the episode: bee cute furry face

As Mentioned in Episode 352 – Onslog

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Still not really seeing the “ebon” part of “ebon citadel,” but whatever. (The Incredible Hulk #445)
I always appreciate details like this. (The Incredible Hulk #445)
Ouch. (The Incredible Hulk #445)
It’s like that thing where you don’t hear your cat coming in and then it’s RIGHT THERE STARING AT YOU. (Invincible Iron Man #332)
Those are… certainly some sound effects. (Invincible Iron Man #332)
It’s not a whole fancy suit, but I guess it’ll do. (Invincible Iron Man #332)
Hats all around! (Invincible Iron Man #332)
Look at them, all action-y. (Avengers #402)
Sucks to be the dude who has to both accurately assess the situation AND keep everyone’s spirits up! (Avengers #402)
SO THERE. (Avengers #402)
SO MUCH HEROISM IN ONE PAGE (Avengers #402)
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: Additional Onslaught!

LINKS & FURTHER CHOREOGRAPHY

352 – Onslog

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Onslaught: Phase 2 does not live up to the promise of Phase 1; Hulk is not the most trustworthy individual; Miles is his own best audience; Sentinels know their continuity; and true heroism is scored by James Horner.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Phoenix Five
  • Onslaught thus far
  • The Incredible Hulk #445
  • Invincible Iron Man #332
  • Avengers #402
  • Pea Soup Hulk
  • Falcon’s late cousin Jim
  • The word “ebon”
  • Tunneling logistics
  • An uncomfortable lesson
  • Immortal Hulk and why you should be reading it
  • Fancy hats
  • Science Made Stupid
  • Teen Tony Stark (more) (again)
  • Sneaking
  • Onslaught’s best epithet
  • The sound of heroism
  • Thor’s “shirt”
  • Headgear

NEXT EPISODE: Additional Onslaught!

Check out the visual companion to this episode over on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 351 – His Mighty Hand

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
At least his astral form also works out. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
The size difference is endlessly amusing. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
You done good, Gambit. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
For those of you who collect reaction images. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
Seriously–PERFECT CYLINDER. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
It always seems weird to me that when Cable’s arm is like that it doesn’t seem to cause any mobility or balance issues. (Cable #35)
They’ll team up, but, damnit, they won’t enjoy it. (Cable #35)
Meanwhile at your neighborhood roller rink… (Cable #35)
He’s like a tiny pet Franklin getting walked around Manhattan! (Cable #35)
SO THERE, ONSLAUGHT. (Cable #35)
That throne is so creepy and gross and awesome. (X-Man #19)
Remember the Age of Apocalypse? Nate does! (X-Man #19)
Aw, kiddo. (X-Factor #58)
They’re all very neatly arranged, at least. (X-Factor #58)
Tabitha really needs some healthier coping mechanisms. (X-Factor #58)
AW, KIDDO. (X-Factor #58)
Please google “highland cattle” immediately and join me in giggling. (X-Factor #58)
Smelling the vegetation… and possibly hiding a pot of gold. (X-Factor #58)
Domino’s fantasies do not allow for teenage intrusion, TYVM. (X-Factor #58)
NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught, still, obviously.

351 – His Mighty Hand

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we enter Phase 2 of Onslaught; Cable is a man of many purposes; Onslaught gets a makeover; Intentions only matter if you’re Longshot; and Sue Richards will pull over this crossover event right now if you don’t behave.

X-PLAINED:

  • Red Onslaught
  • Onslaught Phase 1
  • Uncanny X-Men #336
  • Cable #35
  • X-Man #19
  • X-Force #58
  • A large number of team-ups
  • Onslaught, but make it a seder
  • Watcher undercarriage
  • Onslaught’s second form
  • Cable and Apocalypse vs. Onslaught
  • Nate Grey vs. Sinister
  • A trap
  • Several flashbacks and fantasies
  • Symbolic roles within X-Force
  • What Banshee’s sonic scream sounds like
  • Pecs as envisioned by Franklin Richards

NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught, of course.

Check out the visual companion to this post on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 350 – The Xavier Protocols

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Variant cover by Dylan Meconis!
Extra collectible sketch cover! You can download your own in PDF format here.
It’s always fun to see how teams look in other books. (Excalibur #100)
First version of the armor. Don’t get too attached. (Excalibur #100)
In all fairness, decapitation would kill most people. (Excalibur #100)
Does he seriously do this for EVERY mutant? Or just X-Men? Or–? (Excalibur #100)
Meanwhile in a circus in Franklin Richards’s head… (Fantastic Four #415)
I’ll admit: They look remarkably cool.
You don’t say, Reed. (Fantastic Four #415)
THE EYEBROWS OF TRUTH! (Fantastic Four #415)
What a good rug. (Fantastic Four #415)
This is among the weirder meta-product placement I’ve seen. (Fantastic Four #415)
There’s… a lot going on on that cover. (X-Factor #125)
Everything but the skateboard. (X-Factor #125)
Somewhere, one is experimentally gnawing on Hearst Tower. (X-Men #55)
How you can tell it’s a Really Big Event. (X-Men #55)
IT’S REALLY NOT THE TIME, BOBBY. (X-Men #55)
I don’t know why, but Onslaught’s pose in this panel cracks me the hell up. (X-Men #55)
That is… somewhat different from its previous appearance. (X-Men #55)
That certainly is an ebon citadel! (X-Men #55)
That’s quite a look, Onslaught of the Future! (X-Men #55)
NEXT EPISODE: Yep, more Onslaught.

LINKS & FURTHER CHOICES

 

350 – The Xavier Protocols

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Variant cover by Dylan Meconis!
And a real, live, downloadable sketch variant!

In which we celebrate a milestone with a special collectible episode; there may already be a Charles Xavier in your basement; Onslaught lacks subtlety; Bill Watterson may or may not have changed his licensing policy on Earth-616; guns should not have hair; and Jay once again exercises his questionable lyrical skills.

X-PLAINED:

  • Excalibur #100
  • Fantastic Four #415
  • X-Factor #125
  • X-Men #55
  • Onslaught (more) (again)
  • The Xavier Protocols
  • The many secret subbasements of Charles Francis Xavier
  • The Xavier Protocols
  • An extremely poor file-retrieval system
  • Onslaught vs. the Fantastic Four
  • Li’l Charlie
  • A circus, kind of
  • Lang disambiguation
  • Onslaught’s new look
  • Onslaught vs. several Avengers
  • An unlicensed rug
  • The only thing Bill Watterson loves
  • Metaphorical Turkish delight
  • The Brand Corporation (more) (again)
  • Dark Descendents
  • Hairy guns
  • Caps for Sale
  • A really big fight
  • A very dramatic EMP
  • Why Onslaught looks like that

NEXT EPISODE: Yep, more Onslaught!

“Magneto’s Cape” lyrics by Jay Edidin, with apologies to Marsha Norman. Performed by Steve Pence and Adam Faruqi and produced by Adam Faruqi.

CORRECTION: There are only three variant covers to this episode, not four; Jen Vaughn had to bow out due to other commitments.

Check out the visual companion to this post on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

HAWK TALK – Sitcoms

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This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and Tina Carleton of Welcome to Television talked about sitcoms!