Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 384 – The Banality of Evil

September 11, 2022 Jay Leave a comment

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Chris Bradley’s problems include the legacy virus, bigotry, and whatever the hell is going on with his head. (X-Men Unlimited #15)

Ouch. (X-Men Unlimited #15)

You’re a good pal, Maverick. (X-Men Unlimited #15)

AUGH (X-Men Unlimited #15)

Friends of Humanity should not be this over-the-top. (X-Men Unlimited #15)

It’s the Marvel Mutant Sex Web! (X-Men Unlimited #15)

Caliban plays Chopin. (X-Force #65)

Check out that ruffled tux shirt! (X-Force #65)

Mimic has absorbed the powers of the original five X-Men, including Angel’s perpetual toplessness. (X-Force #65)

Definitely Not Disney World (TM). (X-Force #66)

See, this is why I don’t go to theme parks. (X-Force #66)

Meet Sledge. (X-Force #66)

NEXT EPISODE: Strong Guy wakes up!

LINKS & FURTHER AMUSEMENTS:

We first met Chris Bradley in Episode 343 – The Water Cooler of Violence.

384 – The Banality of Evil

September 4, 2022 Jay 3 comments

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In which it’s hard to be a mutant post-Onslaught; two Chrises make friends; X-Force goes to off-brand Disney World; we are Team Risque; and you can go to the punch dimension but probably shouldn’t stay long.

X-PLAINED:

X-Men Unlimited #15
X-Force #65-66
Mutant life post-Onslaught
Spinning editorial oversight into story
Weasel, Jumbo, and Headcase
How not to write the Friends of Humanity
The Marvel sex web
Thunderbird (John Proudstar)
Warpath (James Proudstar)
Risque (Gloria Munoz)
Clubbing with Risque
Wacky World
Sledge
Dani Moonstar, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.
The punch dimension
The physics of ice ramps

NEXT EPISODE: Strong Guy wakes up!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 383 – A Dude and His Ninjas

August 28, 2022 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

You definitely fight this dude in a Street Fighter game. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1)

Is Warren Kenneth Worthington III a worse boyfriend than Matt Murdock? Show your work. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1)

Kuragari may be kind of pointless, but damn does he know from thrones. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1)

This is literally why Jay doesn’t live in SoHo. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1)

Betsy, buddy, why did you program your dead friend into your murdering-to-blow-off-steam program? (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1)

I recognize we’re not dealing with reality persay, but I’m still pretty sure this shouldn’t work. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #2)

Do you ever want to force fictional characters into therapy? (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #2)

Spirit Halloween, all the way down. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #2)

There are worse ways to store skeletons, I’m just saying. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #3)

Oh, no. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #3)

Hi, Force Ghost Tar. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #4)

It’s so convenient that souls come in the form of little figurines, so you know whose they are. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #4)

NEXT EPISODE: It’s probably pronounced like “risk.”

LINKS & FURTHER DIMENSIONS

We first discussed Psylocke’s body swap in Episode 222 – A Tale of Two Betsys.
Gomurr, Tar, and the Crimson Dawn made their debut in Episode 330 – Suddenly, Ninjas, and yelled at Juggernaut in Episode 353 – Scientists and Superheroes.
Excalibur fought the Dragons of the Crimson Dawn in Episode 382 – Seven Swords.

383 – A Dude and His Ninjas

August 28, 2022 Jay 13 comments

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In which the Crimson Dawn is secretly a bad Daredevil arc; shadow-based transportation requires careful lighting; Dark Phoenix Saga references will not always do you favors; and Earth is big.

X-PLAINED:

Atlan the Dolphin
Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1-4
What the Crimson Dawn arc should actually be
Archangel (more) (again)
Psylocke (more) (again)
The Crimson Dawn (to what extent it can be explained)
Tar, Proctor of the Crimson Dawn (again)
Kuragari
Aesthetics of the Crimson Dawn
Undercloaks
How not to deliver a present
The worst thing about living in NYC
Sooooo much Orientalism
One way to put out a fire, I guess
“Infiltration”
Skeleton storage
The Overdrawn at the Memory Bank problem
Energy shuriken
Soul economics
Ninja Turtles on X-teams
Which X-Man would win a Pinewood Derby race

NEXT EPISODE: Risque!

NOTE: Jay’s Gollum voice is unfiltered. He can just do that at will, and it’s kind of upsetting.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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HAWK TALK – Ads

August 21, 2022 Jay 12 comments

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This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back!

As Mentioned in Episode 382 – Seven Swords

August 14, 2022 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

TECHNOLOGY! Large men putting screwdrivers into things, turning them, and adjusting them! (Excalibur #107)

Nobody trusts Spiral. (Excalibur #107)

Meet the Dragons of the Crimson Dawn! (Excalibur #107)

Do you ship it? We kinda ship it. (Excalibur #108)

The part of Marvel Editorial will be played by Daytripper in this sequence. (Excalibur #108)

Built your own atom storage box! (Excalibur #109)

That’s a lot of swords! (Excalibur #109)

Xiandu X-Plains the Dragons of the Crimson Dawn. (Excalibur #110)

I don’t know what makes this panel so funny, but it really is. (Excalibur #110)

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: More Crimson Dawn

LINKS & FURTHER BACKSTORY

For Captain Britain’s origins, listen to Episode 97 – The Crooked World and Episode 98 – Between Alien Visitations and Drunken Sulks.
For the time Spiral turned CB and a bunch of X-characters into kids, listen to Episode 63 – Wildways.

382 – Seven Swords

August 14, 2022 Jay 6 comments

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In which Brian Braddock has grown as a person; we remain unimpressed by the Crimson Dawn; Marvel discovers email; seven swords to two people is a pretty good ratio; everyone hates Spiral; and love may or may not save the world.

X-PLAINED:

Where Brian Braddock is these days
Excalibur #107-110
Post-Onslaught fallout
Excalibur (more) (again)
The difference an inker makes
Nigel McWhirter
A trip to London
Spiral (again)
Engineering outfits? I guess?
A machine which would be Cerebro
Several flashbacks
The most meta bike shorts
Time-travel safety
Forgotten characters who turned out to be secretly evil
A character moment that may actually be an art error
Shamrock (Molly Fitzgerald)
Email
The Dragons of the Crimson Dawn
A ghost
X-folks who knit
Best X-guest star moments

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Yet more Crimson Dawn

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 381 – If We Told You, We’d Have to Kill You

August 14, 2022 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

If Alex Summers had more issues, he’d be a comics shop. (X-Factor #131)

I guess he swallowed the thumb, which makes its lack of repeat appearance less surprising. (X-Factor #131)

The world’s slowest plasma blast. (X-Factor #131)

The real reason for Jamie Madrox’s heel turn. (X-Factor #132)

“And if you don’t like our terms, there’s also a free AOL install!” (X-Factor #132)

Agent Bowser. (X-Factor #133)

The Many Deaths of X-Factor: Sabretooth. (X-Factor #133)

The Many Deaths of X-Factor: Wild Child. (X-Factor #133)

The Many Deaths of X-Factor: Polaris and Shard. (X-Factor #133)

The Many Deaths of X-Factor: Mystique. (X-Factor #133)

The Many Deaths of X-Factor: Forge. (X-Factor #133)

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. Crimson Dawn!

381 – If We Told You, We’d Have to Kill You

August 7, 2022 Jay 6 comments

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In which real life sucks; Havok may or may not be a bad enough dude to rescue mutantkind; X-Factor quits; CD-ROMs were never THAT cool; subtlety is for suckers; Val Cooper hates nothing more than she hates the U.S. government; and Jamie Madrox wants nothing to do with your nonsense.

X-PLAINED:

One way to end a wedding
X-Factor #130-133
Malice (again)
A thumb (and the biting thereof)
Barnes (and her hair)
The relative versatility of plasma
The Brotherhood
A ruse and/or retcon
Lighting design
A CD-ROM
The time Jay wrote some Captain America comics
The last time you’re gonna see these
Trevor Chase (more)
One thing that might’ve inspired Jamie Madrox’s heel turn
The nature of Jamie Madrox’s relative mortality
Brand names
Many faked deaths
Agent Bowser
A very fancy haunted house
X-Factor’s true calling
The X.S.E. (again)
Mutant shifts in adaptations
‘Nuff said

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. Crimson Dawn!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!