Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

364 – Department of Pareidolia

February 27, 2022 Jay 16 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we lie extensively about how comics schedules work; the Mystery School is clearly a backdoor pitch; the Wisdom family has a lot going on; red dyes fade fast; and we (roughly) calculate the odds of Cyclops having a good day.

X-PLAINED:

Marvel’s KISS comics
Pryde and Wisdom #1-3
Age
Cheerful hissing
Jardine
A serial killer
Department F66/The Mystery School
Stoats
Kill Your Boyfriend
Several skeletons
Harold Wisdom
Serial disambiguation
Inconsistent use of inhibitor guns
Romany Wisdom
A man stone
Distinctive hair
Some woman who seems important but never gets a name or follow-up
John Gideon
The Tube
The inexplicable evolution of Romany Wisdom
How not to end your miniseries
Forgotten friendships
The relative odds of Cyclops having a good day

NEXT EPISODE: Space Adventures!

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As Mentioned in Episode 363 – Licked by a Shadow

February 20, 2022 Jay 6 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

It’s hard to be Warren Kenneth Worthington III. (Uncanny X-Men #338)

Hey, feathers! (Uncanny X-Men #338)

Peep those teeny peepers! (Uncanny X-Men #338)

YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN? SHE’S TOTALLY POUNCING ON PSYLOCKE! (Uncanny X-Men #338)

That’s our J. Jonah Jameson! (Uncanny X-Men #338)

Guys. GUYS. (Uncanny X-Men #338)

Ouch. (X-Men #58)

In which William Drake has a rare moment of conscience. (X-Men #58)

Rogue can’t sleep without dramatic irony. (X-Men #58)

“What do kids like these days? Dirtbikes, right?) (X-Men Annual 1996)

Well, that’ll ruin a baseball game. (X-Men Annual 1996)

Aw, man. (X-Men Annual 1996)

Can we discuss the apparent existence of X-Beer? (X-Men Annual 1996)

ALLL RIIIGHT indeed. (X-Men Annual 1996)

LOOK AT ALL THOSE X-MANS! (X-Men Annual 1996)

NEXT EPISODE: Pryde & Wisdom

363 – Licked by a Shadow

February 20, 2022 Jay 7 comments

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In which standing in fields looking confused is a way of life; Psylocke gets a new superpower; when you gotta confess you gotta confess; Iceman’s dad stands up for justice; we mourn a Sentinel; and it’s probably a good thing that most companies don’t do mind melds as a team-building exercise.

X-PLAINED:

Levels of mutant power
Omicron-level mutations
Miles’s brief baseball career
Uncanny X-Men #338
X-Men #58
X-Men Annual 1996
Archangel’s wings
Joseph vs. Holographic Magneto
Shadow teleportation
The errand theory of confession
Graydon Creed (more) (again)
“Drake Roberts” and “Samson Guthry”
Several ways to memorialize the Mutant Massacre
Onslaught, but an anteater
A fight
Several JJJ cameos
X-baseball games
A highly atypical Sentinel
Several oblique warnings
X-Men ‘97
Media inspired by the X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Pryde & Wisdom

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 362 – Lazy Summer Day

February 13, 2022 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

The turtle! (Generation X #20)

These cuties. (Generation X #20)

That’s… not how salads are supposed to work. (Generation X #20)

Behold: Banshee’s enormous arms. (Generation X #20)

Aw, this kid. (Generation X #20)

Aw, THESE kids. (Generation X #20)

Jubilee, no. (Generation X #21)

If I ever die, I hope Chris Bachalo draws a bunch of unsavory bikers in my memory. (Generation X #21)

Torres. (Generation X #21)

Seriously, how did she make that whole mansion out of a fairly brief exam paper? (Generation X #21)

Trevor Chase and his assailants. (X-Factor #127)

Maybe it’s a Ron Swanson thing and she gets his name wrong on purpose to keep him from getting too attached. (X-Factor #127)

Is it… a wabbit? (X-Factor #127)

NEXT EPISODE: Baseball!

LINKS & FURTHER MISCREANTS

Waiting for the Trade re: the Danger Room and what’s been done there.
For more about Tana Nile, Howard the Duck, and Franklin Richards, check out Giant-Size Special #10!
X-Factor, summarized.

362 – Lazy Summer Day

February 13, 2022 Jay 4 comments

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In which Chris Bachalo draws excellent critters; Bastion is a terrible boss; everyone fucks in the Danger Room; Jubilee fails a midterm; and humans were the real monsters all along.

X-PLAINED:

The worst mutant power
Generation X #20-21
X-Factor #127
Bachalo critters
Bastion (more) (again)
Daria (but not the one you’re thinking of)
Chevy the janitor (again)
Mean Cuisine
Harker the cat
A threatening salad
Yet another time-traveling Nate
Flirting
A movie reference
U.S.1 and Baron von Blimp
Several ways to fail a midterm
“Autism”
Miguela Torres
Trevor Chase
A series of interviews
Richard Starkings and Comicraft
Destiny’s absence from film

NEXT EPISODE: Baseball!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 361 – The World’s Densest Eagle

February 13, 2022 Jay Leave a comment

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

This, weirdly, was the panel that sold Jay on the art. (Sabretooth and Mystique #1)

Crime! (Sabretooth and Mystique #1)

Mystique in a monstrous form is always awesome. (Sabretooth and Mystique #1)

The other Cypher. (Sabretooth and Mystique #1)

What if the whole gallery were just monstrous Mystiques? (Sabretooth and Mystique #1)

Some very sharp visual storytelling… (Sabretooth and Mystique #2)

…and use of color. (Sabretooth and Mystique #2)

TFW the moat is full of piranhas. (Sabretooth and Mystique #3)

Less voluntarily monstrous, but no less awesome. (Sabretooth and Mystique #3)

WHY DOESN’T SHE JUST GROW THOSE WINGS INSTEAD OF TURNING INTO ANGEL? (Sabretooth and Mystique #4)

One more monster Mystique for the road. (Sabretooth and Mystique #4)

Poetic justice, aided by Chekhov’s piranhas. (Sabretooth and Mystique #4)

NEXT EPISODE: This ‘n’ that.

361 – The World’s Densest Eagle

January 31, 2022 Jay 10 comments

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In which the 1990s were full of miniseries; Mystique and Sabretooth take a sabbatical from X-Factor; Mystique’s powers are wildly inconsistent; we meet a second Cypher; most secret agents are Mystique; and you should never tell Sabretooth about your girlfriend.

X-PLAINED:

Sabretooth’s ambitions
Sabretooth and Mystique #1-4
A Helicarrier heist
Hydra
AIM
The sounds of autopsies
How Mystique’s powers work, sometimes, kind of
Commander Cypher
Technosassins vs. Cyburai
Catalyst
Complimentary types of awful
Caption colors
Access
Gender dimorphism of monsters
The Comics Code Collar
Dismember and Corrosion
The time Cyclops offered to help Cable steal a spaceship
The Black Womb Project

NEXT EPISODE: bits ‘n’ bobs

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As Mentioned in Episode 360 – Charging Forward

January 23, 2022 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Such a promising cover. SIGH. (X-Force #59)

Cable, this is not a great way to deal with youth in crisis. (X-Force #59)

YOU SEE IT, TOO, RIGHT? (X-Force #59)

And again: That is NOT what the bottom of this ship would look like. (X-Force #59)

Oh, hey, these guys. It’s been a minute. (X-Force #59)

SPEAKING OF WHICH! (X-Force #59)

If you get it, you get it. (X-Force #60)

That this is happening in the Mojoverse somehow makes it marginally less weird. (X-Force #60)

That’s what he always sleeps in. (X-Force #60)

Dazzler!

CHARGING BOLDLY TOWARD THE VIEWER! (X-Force #60)

Meanwhile in an entirely different art style… (X-Force #61)

Sure, why not? (X-Force #61)

NEXT EPISODE: These miscreants.

360 – Charging Forward

January 23, 2022 Jay 11 comments

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In which history gets rewritten (again); Shatterstar definitely knows how to dance; and everyone gets extremely grumpy about Loeb’s final X-Force arc.

X-PLAINED:

What happened to Reverend Craig
X-Force (again)
The Mojoverse (again)
X-Force #59-61
Shatterstar vs. Benjamin Russell
The Weisman Institute for the Criminally Insane (again)
Subtext
Help, sort of
The dick ship
Darth Vader’s penis or lack thereof
The difference between Jay and Miles
Violently decompressed storytelling
Gog and Gog’n’Magog (again)
Prior (or possibly future) events in the rebellion
Longshot outside his miniseries
Longshot and Shatterstar
TV Guide
Ineffective brainwashing
A large number of continuity errors
Mojo V
Genre hopping
A stylistic shift
A body swap
Benjamin Russell vs. the Leprechauns
Personally resonant comics
Wolverine’s sense of smell

NEXT EPISODE: Sabretooth & Mystique!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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