Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 479 – Nancy Drew and the Secret of Carrion Cove

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Jay’s not wrong that the buildings look like giant dildos… but at least they look like fancy dildos! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)
Starring: a bunch of fashionable jerks, mostly! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)
Not a good look when your cops look just like the cops who used to oppress you… (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)
Magneto: Master of Magnetism and Monologues! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)
okay but what about the chest-skull (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)
That floaty platform has a heated floor, blind spot monitoring, and built-in GPS. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)
For all your chat reaction needs! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)
These here comical books are lookin’ pretty comical-booky. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)
Magneto talks to… someone! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)
We just like this cover. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)
Everybody fights everybody! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)
In which dust illustrates speed and impact! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)
It’s like the portrait-instead-of-landscape version of widescreen storytelling! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)
Father of the year. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)
To her credit, she does have all the Kirby Krackle. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)
Because Mister Sinister is the hidden force behind literally everything. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)
Rest in Ponytail, Fabian Cortez. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)
“Time to conceive some other on-again, off-again offspring who suck less.” (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)
NEXT TIME: X-Man!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

  • That thing about the cooking show and spreader bars and Namor that Jay was talking about
  • Information and pencils from Chris Claremont and Rick Leonardi’s canceled Phoenix miniseries

479 – Nancy Drew and the Secret of Carrion Cove

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In which Genosha gets better and/or worse; Fabian Cortez is the Secretary of Betrayal; having an action figure of yourself is the path to immortality; and Hammer Bay sounds like a sex toy company.

X-PLAINED:

  • Triathlon
  • The Revolution relaunch and the six-month gap
  • Magneto: Dark Seduction #1-4
  • Erotic skyscrapers
  • Magneto (again) (forever)
  • X-Men Tijuana Bibles
  • The Genoshan Cabinet
  • Dark friendship with benefits
  • Polaris’s newfound interest in heavy metal
  • Magneto’s on-again, off-again children
  • Carrion Cove
  • Coloring symbolism and/or errors
  • Spat and Grovel (kind of)
  • Magneto’s ancestral f**k-ghost
  • Socialism!
  • Magneto’s mysterious mind-voice
  • Neal Conan
  • The Avengers of 2000
  • Kirby Krackle
  • Magneto’s smooth arc into villainy
  • Bonking
  • Human nature
  • Rachel Summers in the Body Shoppe
  • Our (lack of) coverage of solo comics

NEXT EPISODE: X-Man!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 478 – The Monologue Tube

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Alan Davis protests the death of Cyclops. (From this link)
X-teams, past to present. (At least the ones who still had comics in 2000.) (Uncanny X-Men #379)
Well, at least this time he’s leaving with someone other than those five motorcycle guys who could turn into a sixth motorcycle guy. (Uncanny X-Men #379)
It really, really isn’t. (Uncanny X-Men #379)
“…why do you call yourself X-Man, anyway?” (Uncanny X-Men #379)
Suddenly, the plot! (Uncanny X-Men #379)
“Sacre blue, non! Our elf ears!” (Uncanny X-Men #379)
“you guys i am so mad right now you have no idea” (Uncanny X-Men #379)
Toad, did you just… have that mirror with you? (Uncanny X-Men #379)
Just a really good cover. (X-Force #101)
That pacing, though. (X-Force #101)
Aww man. (X-Force #101)
We’ve all been there, kid. Well, maybe not exactly there, but like… metaphorically. (X-Force #101)
Meltdown counsels a sad child in a comic by Joseph Harris, part 2. (X-Force #101)
Doctor Wily, is that you? (X-Men #99)
“You wanna play paintball with us?” (X-Men #99)
How does a costume that looks so good when you’re blue look so silly when you’re not? (X-Men #99)
I’m not so sure about this Storm-and-Marrow-as-camp-counselors subplot, but I do love me some soap opera. (X-Men #99)
Businesspeople and bikers: the two genders. (X-Men #99)
Tentacle-guys, demons, and hulks: the three genders. (X-Men #99)
Mystique really misses that lamp. (Uncanny X-Men #380)
Logan may be dying, but his eyebrows are very impressive right now. (Uncanny X-Men #380)
“Plus, they charged us like thirty bucks just to bring a carry-on!” (Uncanny X-Men #380)
The S stands for Sexy. (Uncanny X-Men #380)
We’ve all had that dream, Blob. (Uncanny X-Men #380)
Bye, Alan Davis! It’s been weird but pretty fun! (Uncanny X-Men #380)
NEXT TIME: Magneto versus everybody.

478 – The Monologue Tube

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In which Alan Davis is Team Cyclops; everyone gets depowered; it’s hard to connect with kids your age when you’re a superhero; Sinister’s gotta sinister; everyone gets repowered; and the ‘90s were much more eclectic than they get credit for being.

X-PLAINED:

  • Side effects of Decimation
  • Uncanny X-Men #379-380
  • X-Force #101
  • X-Men #99
  • Cadre K
  • Summers family drama
  • The High Evolutionary (more) (again)
  • The (other) time all the mutants got depowered
  • Kevin
  • A very beautiful book
  • The ongoing mess of Genoshan politics
  • The Neo (slightly)
  • To what extent Logan’s claws are a mutant power
  • Sinister monologues
  • Herbert Evolutionary
  • The New New Men
  • The ‘90s, in general
  • What makes a Morlock

NEXT EPISODE: Magneto: Dark Seduction!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 477 – Ages of Apocalypse

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Jean Grey sums up this podcast. (Uncanny X-Men #379)
No smoking in the Skull Cave. (Uncanny X-Men #379)
“Was this outfit a mistake? I’m worried this outfit was a mistake.” (Uncanny X-Men #379)
“This outfit was definitely not a mistake, sugah.” (Uncanny X-Men #379)
To be fair, not her worst costume. (Uncanny X-Men #379)
Remember this for the next four chapters! ‘Cause the writers won’t. (Uncanny X-Men #379)
Don’t bring a sword to a gun- and/or Psimitar-fight. (Cable #77)
We learned that a horse helmet is called a chanfron, sometimes spelled shaffron, and that Magneto’s horse has the greatest one of all time. (Cable #77)
The literal power behind the throne. (Cable #77)
*cries in alternate timeline* (Cable #77)
We never get sick of that coloring technique. (Cable #77)
*record scratch* “You’re probably wondering how I got here…” (Wolverine #148)
“Logan, you know perfectly well that skeletons can’t drink, and even asking me is offensive and hurtful.” (Wolverine #148)
Is this issue good? That’s the wrong question. Is this issue fun? Absolutely. (Wolverine #148)
Nate Grey as Onslaught… Could this get any more 90s? (Wolverine #148)
I mean, might be an upgrade at this point. (See also: One World Under Doom, on sale now.) (Wolverine #148)
One of a very large number of excellent Phoenix costume color combinations. (X-Men Unlimited #26)
What’s Siphon’s deal? No one knows! (X-Men Unlimited #26)
Don’t think of it as losing a costume so much as gaining a robo-pterodactyl. (X-Men Unlimited #26)
Hey, it’s Excalibur! Kinda! (X-Men Unlimited #26)
Know why there isn’t sound in space? Because Banshee lost his voice. (X-Men Unlimited #26)
The one we’ve been waiting for! (Uncanny X-Men #380)
That ol’ Alan Davis alchemy. (Uncanny X-Men #380)
I want to read a whole comic about them! (Uncanny X-Men #380)
Utterly charming. (Uncanny X-Men #380)
The Brotherhood of 2099! Between Magneto and Polaris, we have complete shoulder fur-coverage. (Uncanny X-Men #380)
“Everyone, blast your thing at the thing!” (Uncanny X-Men #380)
Comic book structure as comic book storytelling. (Uncanny X-Men #380)
NEXT TIME: All the mutants lose their powers!

477 – Ages of Apocalypse

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In which reality shatters; Ghost Rider wants friends; Jay’s toddler weighs in on the X-Men; the Phoenix costume is pretty much perfect; Caliban puts all his resources into an epic mount; and the future is so bright you’re gonna need shades.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Triune Understanding
  • Ages of Apocalypse
  • Uncanny X-Men #378
  • Cable #77
  • Wolverine #148
  • X-Men Unlimited #26
  • X-Men #98
  • Earth-23378
  • Things you can leave to people in a will
  • The Silver Age, but different
  • Apocaclops
  • Aliya Dayspring
  • Chronological inconsistencies
  • Earth-2841
  • The Harpy (Betty Ross)
  • A very different Fantastic Four
  • Earth-32000
  • Siphon
  • The moon
  • Zackat (Wolverine) (long story)
  • Erik the Red (more) (again)
  • The Ladies Mastermind
  • Cadre K
  • Earth-32098
  • X-World
  • The prettiest X-Man
  • The moon’s mutant power

NEXT EPISODE: Powerless!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 476 – The Moppets Take Manhattan

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Moppets on the run! (Generation X #59)
The meme before the meme but after the thing that became the meme. (Generation X #59)
Generation X vs. New Warriors. (Generation X #59)
Can’t really argue with that. (Generation X #59)
R.I.P., Butter Rum. (Generation X #59)
Oh, hey, it’s Mondo! (Generation X #60)
I don’t know if it’s the pose, or the color and font of the text, or what, but I can’t shake the idea that this is their holiday card. (Generation X #60)
Have you ever seen him in the same place as Santa? I REST MY CASE. (Generation X #61)
Spirit Halloween Hellfire Club. (Generation X #60)
Look at this silly-ass Dracula. (Generation X #60)
He will hypnotize you with the power of… ugly wallpaper! (Generation X #61)
Vampire quick-change? (Generation X #62)
Vampire quick-change! (Generation X #62)
NEXT EPISODE: Ages of Apocalypse!

Links & Further Conflagrations:

476 – The Moppets Take Manhattan

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In which we remain adamant pro-POG advocates; Artie and Leech have adventures; Firestar and Emma Frost get some resolution; Santa Claus may or may not be the avatar of Cyttorak; Black Tom Cassidy exceeds expectations; and Monet has vampire problems.

X-PLAINED:

  • Marvel’s Revolution line
  • POGs (somewhat) (again)
  • Who’s on Generation X these days
  • Generation X #59-62
  • Artie and Leech’s adventures in NYC
  • Holidays at the Massachusetts Academy
  • Cordelia Frost (more) (again)
  • Mondo (the real one)
  • Santa Claus / Juggernaut disambiguation
  • An overly convoluted plot
  • Parenting?
  • St. Croix family problems
  • Vampire problems
  • Legacies of Generation X

NEXT EPISODE: Ages of Apocalypse!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 475 – Cross-Time Crisis

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If ever there was a time to bring back Bill Sienkiewicz for a cover… (X-Force #99)
Look at that varied crowd of background characters! And also that pig backpack! (X-Force #99)
Black toner cartridge has been depleted. Please replace black toner cartridge. (X-Force #99)
Is there a ghost in that necklace? Or maybe Malice 2.0? We’ll never know. (X-Force #99)
Sometimes, the bear eats you. (X-Force #99)
Don’t apologize for your awesome fantasy world, Arcadia! It’s great! (X-Force #99)
Creeeeepy doll. (X-Force #99)
Hi, Triune Understanding subplot! Bye, Triune Understanding subplot! (X-Force #99)
Not with a whimper, but with a bang and also a lot of narration. (X-Force #99)
Meet Dani, Dani, Dani, and Dani. (X-Force #99)
The Queen of the Star Swords: multiversal conqueror and also heavy metal album cover subject. (X-Force #100)
That’s all we get to see of the Queen of the Star Swords’ citadel. Looks like it’s probably pretty cool, though, right? (X-Force #100)
Less spiky than in the present day, but still a good look, Queen. (X-Force #100)
And that’s it for the resurrected-Juliana subplot. At least this one gets a satisfying, if sad, conclusion. (X-Force #100)
Well, the inside of the citadel looks pretty cool, at least! (X-Force #100)
Meet X-Force of Earth-130000! (X-Force #100)
It’s X-Force of Earth-8280, we think! Maybe Cannonball was supposed to be Cypher? (X-Force #100)
The saddest X-Force, numerical reality designation unknown. (X-Force #100)
X-Force of Earth-10003, AKA the Pete Wisdom-verse. (X-Force #100)
X-Force of… a lot of places. Fight! (X-Force #100)
“I’ll zap you so hard you’ll turn into a baby!” (X-Force #100)
G’Journey, Cable of Earth-3100… (X-Force #100)
…and G’Journey, John Francis Moore’s X-Force. (X-Force #100)
NEXT TIME: Mondo’s back, for the first time!

475 – Cross-Time Crisis

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Meet Dani, Dani, Dani, and Dani. (X-Force #99)

In which we wrap up John Francis Moore’s run on X-Force; the Demon Bear returns (kinda); four Moonstars are not in fact better than one; the Queen of Star Swords is an extremely rad villain; and X-Force takes a very contained multiversal tour.

X-PLAINED:

  • Multiversal canon
  • X-Force #99-100
  • The Demon Bear (more) (again)
  • Arcadia DeVille (more) (again)
  • Mary Weather
  • Fenwick
  • Meridian
  • The Queen of Star Swords
  • The Cathedral
  • Cable (but not that Cable)
  • The X-Forces of several universes
  • Earth-3100
  • Earth-10003
  • Earth-130000
  • Earth-8280
  • Earth-23100
  • Non-mutants on the X-Men
  • The provenance of the Brood X-men

NEXT EPISODE: Mondo! (The real one, this time.)

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!