Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 385 – Super Whiny Adults Simulator 64

September 11, 2022 Jay Leave a comment

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Forge, what the everloving hell? (X-Factor #134)

BY YOU. THEY WERE EXAGGERATED BY YOU. ON PURPOSE. (X-Factor #134)

I don’t know what’s going on with Forge’s face here; and frankly, I don’t want to know. (X-Factor #134)

Wow, Trevor. Wow. (X-Factor #134)

Trevor has gone full creepy moppet. This is not a drill. (X-Factor #135)

This game sucks. (X-Factor #135)

WHAT THE HELL, KID (X-Factor #135)

Aw, Guido, we missed you, too. (X-Factor #135)

And now, time for the fun stuff! (Strong Guy Reborn #1)

Comic-book space is a happenin’ place. (Strong Guy Reborn #1)

Either the sand figures are a metaphor, or Guido is a font of weird hidden talents. (Strong Guy Reborn #1)

Ha! (Strong Guy Reborn #1)

Aw, it’s Kreetor! Hi, buddy!

Each saucer comes with a tiny image of Calvin peeing on a trademark symbol. (Strong Guy Reborn #1)

Biff! Bam! Pow! (Strong Guy Reborn #1)

*Rimshot* (Strong Guy Reborn #1)

The comic is good, but getta loada the activity pages! (Strong Guy Reborn #1)

I want to know if anyone actually cut these out and used them. (Strong Guy Reborn #1)

I hope so. (Strong Guy Reborn #1)

Spoiler: I’m pretty sure it’s an ice cream truck. (Strong Guy Reborn #1)

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: Maggott!

385 – Super Whiny Adults Simulator 64

September 11, 2022 Jay 6 comments

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In which we make an omission; X-Factor’s concept of “underground” is somewhat unconventional; Trevor Chase turns uncanny moppet; and Strong Guy and Lila Cheney have some very silly space adventures.

X-PLAINED:

X-Factor #134-135
Strong Guy Reborn #1
The “deaths” of X-Factor (again)
Lady Cop
A contextually inappropriate pun
The Adversary (more) (again)
Why you use an air-gapped system
How not to fake your own death
Trevor Chase and his mysterious mutant powers
Rusty Trail
X-Factor X-Ploits
A lot of wasted potential
The Jorken-Kront war
Space stuff
Lila Cheney (more) (again)
Kreetor
Spiff’s Saucers
Calvin & Hobbes licensing in the Marvel Universe
The Chalker Brothers (briefly) (again)
The most useful and fun mutant powers
Musicals with Mister Sinister

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Maggott!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 384 – The Banality of Evil

September 11, 2022 Jay Leave a comment

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Chris Bradley’s problems include the legacy virus, bigotry, and whatever the hell is going on with his head. (X-Men Unlimited #15)

Ouch. (X-Men Unlimited #15)

You’re a good pal, Maverick. (X-Men Unlimited #15)

AUGH (X-Men Unlimited #15)

Friends of Humanity should not be this over-the-top. (X-Men Unlimited #15)

It’s the Marvel Mutant Sex Web! (X-Men Unlimited #15)

Caliban plays Chopin. (X-Force #65)

Check out that ruffled tux shirt! (X-Force #65)

Mimic has absorbed the powers of the original five X-Men, including Angel’s perpetual toplessness. (X-Force #65)

Definitely Not Disney World (TM). (X-Force #66)

See, this is why I don’t go to theme parks. (X-Force #66)

Meet Sledge. (X-Force #66)

NEXT EPISODE: Strong Guy wakes up!

LINKS & FURTHER AMUSEMENTS:

We first met Chris Bradley in Episode 343 – The Water Cooler of Violence.

384 – The Banality of Evil

September 4, 2022 Jay 3 comments

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In which it’s hard to be a mutant post-Onslaught; two Chrises make friends; X-Force goes to off-brand Disney World; we are Team Risque; and you can go to the punch dimension but probably shouldn’t stay long.

X-PLAINED:

X-Men Unlimited #15
X-Force #65-66
Mutant life post-Onslaught
Spinning editorial oversight into story
Weasel, Jumbo, and Headcase
How not to write the Friends of Humanity
The Marvel sex web
Thunderbird (John Proudstar)
Warpath (James Proudstar)
Risque (Gloria Munoz)
Clubbing with Risque
Wacky World
Sledge
Dani Moonstar, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.
The punch dimension
The physics of ice ramps

NEXT EPISODE: Strong Guy wakes up!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 383 – A Dude and His Ninjas

August 28, 2022 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

You definitely fight this dude in a Street Fighter game. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1)

Is Warren Kenneth Worthington III a worse boyfriend than Matt Murdock? Show your work. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1)

Kuragari may be kind of pointless, but damn does he know from thrones. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1)

This is literally why Jay doesn’t live in SoHo. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1)

Betsy, buddy, why did you program your dead friend into your murdering-to-blow-off-steam program? (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1)

I recognize we’re not dealing with reality persay, but I’m still pretty sure this shouldn’t work. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #2)

Do you ever want to force fictional characters into therapy? (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #2)

Spirit Halloween, all the way down. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #2)

There are worse ways to store skeletons, I’m just saying. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #3)

Oh, no. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #3)

Hi, Force Ghost Tar. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #4)

It’s so convenient that souls come in the form of little figurines, so you know whose they are. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #4)

NEXT EPISODE: It’s probably pronounced like “risk.”

LINKS & FURTHER DIMENSIONS

We first discussed Psylocke’s body swap in Episode 222 – A Tale of Two Betsys.
Gomurr, Tar, and the Crimson Dawn made their debut in Episode 330 – Suddenly, Ninjas, and yelled at Juggernaut in Episode 353 – Scientists and Superheroes.
Excalibur fought the Dragons of the Crimson Dawn in Episode 382 – Seven Swords.

383 – A Dude and His Ninjas

August 28, 2022 Jay 13 comments

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In which the Crimson Dawn is secretly a bad Daredevil arc; shadow-based transportation requires careful lighting; Dark Phoenix Saga references will not always do you favors; and Earth is big.

X-PLAINED:

Atlan the Dolphin
Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1-4
What the Crimson Dawn arc should actually be
Archangel (more) (again)
Psylocke (more) (again)
The Crimson Dawn (to what extent it can be explained)
Tar, Proctor of the Crimson Dawn (again)
Kuragari
Aesthetics of the Crimson Dawn
Undercloaks
How not to deliver a present
The worst thing about living in NYC
Sooooo much Orientalism
One way to put out a fire, I guess
“Infiltration”
Skeleton storage
The Overdrawn at the Memory Bank problem
Energy shuriken
Soul economics
Ninja Turtles on X-teams
Which X-Man would win a Pinewood Derby race

NEXT EPISODE: Risque!

NOTE: Jay’s Gollum voice is unfiltered. He can just do that at will, and it’s kind of upsetting.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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HAWK TALK – Ads

August 21, 2022 Jay 12 comments

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This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back!

As Mentioned in Episode 382 – Seven Swords

August 14, 2022 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

TECHNOLOGY! Large men putting screwdrivers into things, turning them, and adjusting them! (Excalibur #107)

Nobody trusts Spiral. (Excalibur #107)

Meet the Dragons of the Crimson Dawn! (Excalibur #107)

Do you ship it? We kinda ship it. (Excalibur #108)

The part of Marvel Editorial will be played by Daytripper in this sequence. (Excalibur #108)

Built your own atom storage box! (Excalibur #109)

That’s a lot of swords! (Excalibur #109)

Xiandu X-Plains the Dragons of the Crimson Dawn. (Excalibur #110)

I don’t know what makes this panel so funny, but it really is. (Excalibur #110)

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: More Crimson Dawn

LINKS & FURTHER BACKSTORY

For Captain Britain’s origins, listen to Episode 97 – The Crooked World and Episode 98 – Between Alien Visitations and Drunken Sulks.
For the time Spiral turned CB and a bunch of X-characters into kids, listen to Episode 63 – Wildways.

382 – Seven Swords

August 14, 2022 Jay 6 comments

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In which Brian Braddock has grown as a person; we remain unimpressed by the Crimson Dawn; Marvel discovers email; seven swords to two people is a pretty good ratio; everyone hates Spiral; and love may or may not save the world.

X-PLAINED:

Where Brian Braddock is these days
Excalibur #107-110
Post-Onslaught fallout
Excalibur (more) (again)
The difference an inker makes
Nigel McWhirter
A trip to London
Spiral (again)
Engineering outfits? I guess?
A machine which would be Cerebro
Several flashbacks
The most meta bike shorts
Time-travel safety
Forgotten characters who turned out to be secretly evil
A character moment that may actually be an art error
Shamrock (Molly Fitzgerald)
Email
The Dragons of the Crimson Dawn
A ghost
X-folks who knit
Best X-guest star moments

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Yet more Crimson Dawn

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!