Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 401 – True Tales of Double-Entry Bookkeeping

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“Jack, I served with Cannonball, I knew Cannonball, Cannonball was a brother of mine. Jack, you are no Cannonball.” (Generation X #32)
smek (Generation X #32)
David Bowie and Hacker T. Dog. (New Mutants #92)
I’ve missed 80s Boom-Boom. Yeep! (New Mutants #92)
The character find of 1990. (New Mutants #92)
“This haunted house is nuts, especially that broccoli guy! We need to tell Jean Grey about it and make sure she wears that Phoenix outfit when she comes to visit!” (New Mutants #92)
Did we cover this issue mostly for 80s Boom-Boom? Yes. Yes we did. (New Mutants #92)
And you thought Ship was cool, kids. (New Mutants #92)
Speaking of things Boom-Boom would do… (Generation X #33)
Keep an eye on this guy. (Generation X #33)
Miles totally would have stuck with hard science in college if the labs had looked like this. (Generation X #33)
No, no… The WHAT goes at the end, not in the middle! (Generation X #33)
Welcome to a dimension of pure CHAIR. (Generation X #33)
And now for something completely different. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)
Now I want to see Adam Pollina draw Mystique’s creepy nephew from X-Factor. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)
I believe Danish armored mother-and-son murderers refer to this as hygge. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)
1 pet robot. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)
Random stuff piled up outside the panels – this must be an issue of Generation X! (Generation X Holiday Special #1)
Mutant, mutant, angst, angst. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)
What an obituary that would have made. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)
It’s easy to forget how legitimately terrifying the Orphan Maker can be. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)
So that happened. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)
Better or worse than the kids that wet their pants on Santa’s lap? (Generation X Holiday Special #1)
Oh, kiddo. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)
Well that’s just lovely. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)
NEXT TIME: Doctor Moira MacTaggert versus the Legacy Virus.

401 – True Tales of Double-Entry Bookkeeping

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And now for something completely different. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)

In which Santa Claus makes problematic choices; we make good on a promise; Sebastian is the new Deadpool; Skrulls get stuck as animals more than you’d think; Nanny and Orphan-Maker celebrate; and Jubilee stops worrying and learns to love Christmas.

X-PLAINED

  • Santa Claus’s flirtations with villainy
  • A new direction for Generation X
  • Larry Hama
  • Al vs. U.S. geography
  • Generation X #32-33
  • Generation X Holiday Special
  • New Mutants #92
  • Thing One & Thing Two St. Croix
  • The Circus of Crime
  • The Pirates of Dark Water (somewhat)
  • Hacker T. Dog
  • Why Wolfsbane is scared of clowns
  • Skrull Kill Crew
  • Carnie Voltron
  • Chief Authier
  • Phat beats
  • A reality biscuit
  • Emplate’s pocket dimension
  • Chimera and Dirtnap
  • Variant interiors
  • Nanny & Orphan-Maker (more) (again)
  • Santa Claus (in general)
  • Benefits of inconsistent characterization

NEXT WEEK: Break week

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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As Mentioned in Episode 400 – Loud Noises

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Marauders to the left of me, X-Men to the right, and I’m stuck in the middle with you… (Uncanny X-Men #350)
Listen, Gambit, it was either this or a Tupperware(TM) for that chunk of your brain. (Uncanny X-Men #350)
Their relationship seems healthy. (Uncanny X-Men #350)
Eh, it’s still in better shape than the car Miles drove in high school. (Uncanny X-Men #350)
Where? Oh, there. (Uncanny X-Men #350)
“He’s here again, Professor.” (Uncanny X-Men #350)
Speaking of different eras of the X-Men – check out Julian Totino Tedesco’s decade variant covers! Here’s the 60s… (All-New X-Men #18)
The 70s… (All-New X-Men #18)
The 80s… (All-New X-Men #18)
The 90s… (All-New X-Men #18)
…and the 2000s. (All-New X-Men #18)
After this, it’s off to the Justice Exhibit through the Justice Hall and then to the Justice Shop. If anyone needs the Little Justice’s Room, it’s on the left. (Uncanny X-Men #350)
Thunderbird, sure… but a version of Blink from an alternate universe? (Uncanny X-Men #350)
NOOOOORM! (Uncanny X-Men #350)
I’ve never been picked during jury selection, but I’m pretty sure this is how trials work, right? (Uncanny X-Men #350)
Rogue x-plains Gambit’s dark secret. (Uncanny X-Men #350)
As little sense as Rogue’s decision makes, damn if Joe Madureira (or Andy Smith?) doesn’t make it work anyway. (Uncanny X-Men #350)
Erik the Red was really Erik the Red and Purple! (Uncanny X-Men #350)
Okay, okay – they’re no Cyclops, Wolverine, Storm, Colossus, Nightcrawler, and Thunderbird, but I like them anyway. (X-Men #70)
Dig that speech bubble transition. (X-Men #70)
Cecilia Reyes and Marrow, best of friends. (X-Men #70)
Why don’t more artists work in the telekinetic Phoenix flare? (X-Men #70)
Cecilia takes charge. (X-Men #70)
And you know Sam will 100% pay them back later. (X-Men #70)
I love these three. (X-Men #70)
The cavalry arrives. (X-Men #70)
For once, too much dialogue is a good thing. (X-Men #70)
Gross mutant powers are the best mutant powers. (X-Men #70)
Maggott 2.0, courtesy Joe Kelly. (X-Men #70)
The X-Men: often at their best when their lives are at their worst. (X-Men #70)
NEXT TIME: Generation X vs. Christmas.

NOTES & FURTHER READING:

400 – Loud Noises

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which legacy numbering is best left alone; all roads lead to the Antarctic; we finally learn Gambit’s big secret; Erik the Red gets yet a third identity; no one soils the Juggernaut; Maggott saves the day; and we have somehow made (technically more than) 400 of these things.

X-PLAINED

  • Spat
  • The tragic loss of the Cyber Comics
  • How not to back up your work
  • Uncanny X-Men #350
  • X-Men #70
  • A shambles
  • What’s been happening since Operation Zero Tolerance
  • A very fancy cover
  • Insufficient outerwear
  • Senses
  • Justice as a decorating theme
  • Baffling statuary
  • The return of Erik the Red
  • Erik the Red (again)
  • Ferris
  • Gambit’s big secret
  • A large number of continuity errors
  • A total dick move
  • De-icing
  • Untitled Marrow Game
  • A big fight
  • Living room surgery
  • Legal documents
  • Favorite anniversary issues
  • Dangling plot threads

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X vs. Christmas

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 399 – The Cybertronic Spree

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Not a cape or pouch in sight. (X-Force #71)
BLOOMF (X-Force #71)
Is the internet going to get mad about this one too? (X-Force #71)
grumble 5G grumble Bill Gates grumble (X-Force #71)
You can tell Sunspot descends from Hellfire Club royalty because he’s a DRAMA QUEEN (X-Force #71)
Sleepover! (X-Force #71)
Ah, this must be a sort of symbolic cover that represents the themes but not details of… (X-Force #72)
…nope, that’s basically what they’re wearing in the actual story. (X-Force #72)
Ever see The Triplets of Belleville? (X-Force #72)
How to make a simple conversation visually riveting, by Adam Pollina. (X-Force #72)
WHY WOULD YOU NAME YOUR GANG THAT (X-Force #72)
In which Siryn literally drags Michael Whitecloud back into the comic. (X-Force #72)
This guy smokes two packs of exposition a day. (X-Force #72)
“No, sir, The Matrix won’t be out for well over a year. Must just be Domino.” (X-Force #73)
Shoulda been a platypus. (X-Force #73)
Aww, Tabitha. (X-Force #73)
YOU HAD ONE JOB, METAL GAG THING (X-Force #73)
It sure is. (X-Force #74)
So good. (X-Force #74)
“It’s flattering you think I’m a local, but I just moved here last year! No, really!” (X-Force #74)
Fridays are Casual Days in Valhalla. (X-Force #74)
Hey, it’s Hazard! Just kidding. Only Al remembers Hazard. (X-Force #74)
A man of wealth and taste. (X-Force #74)
Humans, amirite? (X-Force #74)
It’s been a while since we’ve gotten a Pollina mandala! (X-Force #74)
Gambit goes on trial – in our FOUR HUNDREDTH episode!

399 – The Cybertronic Spree

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the X-Force road trip era begins; Team X takes on a new dimension; Dani Moonstar gets her subtext back; pointing out a stereotype doesn’t excuse using it; Tabitha Smith generally deserves better; platypuses are underrepresented in the superhero genre; Hell becomes Stryfe; and Domino gets back in the game.

X-PLAINED

  • A dastardly plot
  • X-Men 2099
  • Road trips
  • X-Force #71-74
  • Team X
  • A Love & Rockets reference
  • Stan and Ollie
  • The Triplets of Belleville
  • How not to fund your film
  • Michael Whitecloud
  • Project Stepladder
  • Colossal Man
  • Several references to X-Force -1
  • Platypuses
  • Edwin Martynec
  • Weaponized humming
  • The death of Warpath
  • Hell
  • Blackheart
  • Friendship
  • A mysterious villain

NOTE: Whoa, The Cybertronic Spree is actually a real band!

NEXT WEEK: The return of Erik the Red!

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As Mentioned in Episode 398 – Shanna the Wee Devil

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
We would never, Maggott. (Uncanny X-Men #347)
Grovel, allergic to sticks. (Uncanny X-Men #347)
Spat: just your average reverse-aging cavegirl bounty hunter. (Uncanny X-Men #347)
Weirder or less weird than the time the Morlocks healed Professor X and then dressed him in bondage gear? (Uncanny X-Men #347)
Big Mother Truckers no more. (Uncanny X-Men #347)
Alas, poor Landscape! I barely knew him, Joseph: a fellow of infinite power, of most excellent colors. (Uncanny X-Men #347)
Nanny’s great and all, but LOOK AT THAT BAT! (Uncanny X-Men #347)
I wish we got to see more of that robo-dragon in the back. (Uncanny X-Men #348)
Thankfully, Bishop is no stranger to being impaled by pipes. (Uncanny X-Men #348)
SabreRogue. (Uncanny X-Men #348)
This is pretty unambiguous, right? (Uncanny X-Men #348)
Chris Bachalo’s back! (Uncanny X-Men #349)
Beast, Beast, Beast of the Jungle, strong as he can be! (Uncanny X-Men #349)
Whoa, that volcano base got a lot more complicated when we switched artists. (Uncanny X-Men #349)
Even Maggott’s hair gets more impressive when he goes into battle-mode! (Uncanny X-Men #349)
Bachalo draws chaos well. (Uncanny X-Men #349)
“Excess”? What do you mean by that word? (Uncanny X-Men #349)
All together now: “DAMMIT REMY!” (Uncanny X-Men #349)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Force hits the road!

398 – Shanna the Wee Devil

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
In which the rest of the X-Men return from space; Maggott is the new cool; Gambit’s past catches up with him; Chris Bachalo takes over as regular artist on Uncanny X-Men; Deathbird flirts singularly aggressively; Eany and Meany eat a truck; dating a telepathic ninja is going to take some getting used to; and Havok predictably remains ABD.
X-PLAINED
  • Motormouth (Harley Davis)
  • Motormouth and Killpower
  • Uncanny X-Men #347-349
  • Grovel and Spat
  • A horse guy who is actually a cat-frog-lizard guy
  • An extraordinarily half-assed action figure
  • Load-bearing backstory
  • Landscape
  • The other Nanny
  • Elegant foreshadowing
  • Beast’s appearance as a mutant power
  • Gambit’s chest hair
  • The end of playtime
  • CCA-compliant foliage
  • Deathbird and Bishop
  • A vanity plate
  • Eany and Meany
  • One-off psychometry
  • Psylocke vs. Maggott
  • Decompression
  • Havok’s enduring lack of a Ph.D.
NEXT EPISODE: X-Force hits the road!
NOTE: In this episode, Miles theorized Grovel’s voice as sounding halfway between Cable and Kermit the Frog without realizing that he was in fact just describing Sweetums. -Jay

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 397 – Mürdr at IKEA

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Daydreamers this is not. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
Chop Chop’s weapon is a machete, Yuri’s weapon is his fist, and artist Frank Teran’s weapon is the color black. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
I wish Wild Child and Bob Hoskins always looked like this. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
Sabretooth and Wild Child may look similar in close-up, but there’s never a question of who’s who. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
When less detail equals more horror. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR GIVING YOUR BAR THAT NAME (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
Yes! Use more black, Frank Teran! More! (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
Scrrfffle. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
Wild Child is shadowed like a villain… until he isn’t. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
What are the odds?! (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
That guy’s mustache is no match for Psychic Paper. (X-Factor #136)
The iPhone 14 Pro’s cameras ain’t got nothin’ on these. (X-Factor #136)
Have you ever noticed that RAD and HAM have the same number of letters? (X-Factor #136)
WAT (X-Factor #136)
Jeff Matsuda stole some of Frank Teran’s black and is using it well. (X-Factor #136)
Put that towel down! You know you don’t sweat! (X-Factor #136)
“Huh?” is right. (X-Factor #136)
This seems way less efficient than leaving a voicemail. (X-Factor #136)
I HAVE QUESTIONS (X-Factor #137)
Best exes. (X-Factor #137)
It’s a little thing, but I like the symbolism of the seemingly arbitrary background shapes. (X-Factor #137)
It’s a credit to Mystique that she can be legitimately scary while wearing that. (X-Factor #137)
Again with the implied gore. (X-Factor #137)
Of course, honey. Of course. (X-Factor #137)
NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men return from space!

397 – Mürdr at IKEA

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Al Kennedy and Miles enter a somewhat post-OZT world, the art of Frank Teran (whose uncle built a jetpack) elevates an otherwise merely decent story, Puck is played by Bob Hoskins, Wild Child gets a chance to shine, Mystique and Forge are sitting in a tree, and Swamp Thing is amazing.

X-PLAINED:

  • Spider-Man’s head cold
  • Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1
  • Sabretooth (Victor Creed)
  • Wild Child (Kyle Gibney)
  • Horrible violence, expertly implied
  • The ubiquity of sewers
  • Saturday morning cartoons of R-rated movies
  • Serial killers with G.I. Joe names
  • Improbable tracking
  • Bilingual crime
  • Chekhov’s waterfall
  • DRUGS
  • X-Factor #136-137
  • The Hound program
  • Skeumorphism
  • Doctor Valerie Cooper and Major Edmond Atkinson, excellent exes
  • Questionable wound-dressing
  • Holograms
  • Government jobs
  • The sad fate of the Chase family
  • Nimrod disambiguation
  • The Marvel Universe According to Doctor Seuss

NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men return from space!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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