Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

37 – Giant-Size Special #1

December 28, 2014 Jay 41 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Prints available until 1/15 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which we launch our first-ever giant-size special; God Loves, Man Kills is the definitive X-Men story; Bobby makes his R&MXtXM on-air debut; we repopulate the world with X-writers; Rachel is really excited about x-plaining X-Cutioner’s Song; Miles takes a strong stance on Wolverine’s mask; we award some awards; and it’s all your fault.

X-Plained

God Loves, Man Kills (Marvel Graphic Novel #5)
William Stryker
An inappropriate analogy
Keeping it interesting
Favorite episodes
Bridging the fan/critic divide
Our ongoing obsession with bit characters
The challenge of keeping Charles Xavier relevant
X-Planation Curation
Several stories we’re really looking forward to covering
X-Writers on a desert island
Internet fights
Favorite stories vs. best stories
Stupid hats of the Marvel Universe
Dr. Doom as Tim Gunn
Havok vs. ceiling fans
Educational standards of the Marvel Universe
The First Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence in X-Cellence

NEXT WEEK: Rachel and Chris Sims X-Plain Arcade

CORRECTION: In this episode, Rachel claims that there is only one Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau in the Marvel Multiverse. This is patently untrue. There are numerous versions of Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau in the Marvel Multiverse, who may or may not be able to combine Voltron-style into a giant Corbeau Singularity.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Rachel and Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 19

December 26, 2014 Jay One comment

Week of December 24, 2014

In which we sneak out of Christmas to review funnybooks, and Sixis finally (finally!) ends.

Reviewed:

All-New X-Factor #18 (0:33)
Axis #9 (2:37)
All-New X-Men Annual #1 (3:51)
*Uncanny X-Men #29 (5:56)
Death of Wolverine: The Logan Legacy #7 (8:08)
Cyclops #8 (10:24)
Magneto #13 (12:16)

*Pick of the Week (14:31)

Video reviews are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Merry Mutant Melodies

December 24, 2014 Jay 3 comments

Here in the X-Pert Cave, we hew to some fairly specific Christmas Eve traditions, but if you’re at a loss for how to ring in the holiday, listener Mike Joyner sent us this 1990 gem: official X-mas carols, from What The? #7. (Click through for high-res.)

(If anyone actually takes these caroling, please send us videos, because that would be AMAZING.)

Erik the Red-Nosed Reindeer

December 23, 2014 Jay 2 comments

We were going to save this card–from spectacular artist and all-around excellent human Lee Moyer–for Christmas proper, but it’s way too awesome not to share early. (Click through for high-res.)

lee_holidays — Art and design by Lee Moyer.

Merry holidays to you and all your bondage vikings!

Love,

R&M

Because You Demanded It: X-Men Last-Minute Gift Guide

December 22, 2014 Jay 7 comments

Art by Sal Buscema and Karl Bollers, Marvel Holiday Special 1994 one-shot (1994) — Art by Sal Buscema and Karl Bollers, *Marvel Holiday Special 1994 one-shot* (1994)

HI, LISTENERS! Some of you have been asking us to write an X-Men holiday gift guide. We think it’s very thoughtful of you to consider purchasing gifts for fictional characters, and to help you out, we have created this handy last-minute guide! Click through for our picks for Beast, Shadowcat, and six more…

THE COMPLETE GUMBY

FOR: Beast. We already know Hank McCoy is a fan of Art Clokey’s weird green guy–in fact, back in his Defenders days, he used to collect and trade bootleg Gumby VHSs (seriously–it’s canon). Modern Beast has been having a rough time; give him an excuse to unwind with seven disks’ worth of psychedelic claymation, and maybe a plate of pot brownies.

(And now we’re imagining a stoner comedy starring Hank McCoy and Abigail Brand. MARVEL. CALL US.)

WHAT HE’D PREFER: Moral certitude.

BACKUP GIFT:Dr. Strange: A Separate Reality, by Steve Englehart and Frank Brunner, because you know Beast would be super into a comic about a buddy of his that two dudes literally wrote while wandering around Central Park tripping balls in the middle of the night.

RIP IT: HOW TO DECONSTRUCT AND RECONSTRUCT THE CLOTHES OF YOUR DREAMS, BY ELISSA MYRICH

FOR: Shadowcat. The X-Men’s most die-hard superfashionista can always use another tool in her arsenal–after all, you never know when you’ll find yourself hankering for a new costume with no Shi’ar tech in sight.

WHAT SHE’D PREFER: A canonical girlfriend.

BACKUP GIFT: The Complete Elfquest, vol. 1.

MAGNUM, P.I.’S SIGNATURE HAWAIIAN SHIRT

FOR: Sunspot. I mean, Bobby da Costa probably already owns one of these, or six, but you can really never have too many backup Magnum, P.I. shirts, right?

WHAT HE’D PREFER: To actually be Magnum, P.I.

BACKUP GIFT: A signed pinup of Tom Selleck.

THE REQUISITE UGLY HOLIDAY SWEATER

FOR: Cyclops. Left to his own devices, Scott Summers basically dresses like a six-year-old and has a long tradition of happily sporting really, really horrible sweaters; so you know he’ll at least get some use from it. (Plus, if he hates it, he’ll probably be too polite to say anything.)

WHAT HE’D PREFER: A world in which he’s functionally irrelevant.

BACKUP GIFT: Socks.

ERROL FLYNN FILM COLLECTION

FOR: Nightcrawler. Kurt Wagner is a huge Errol Flynn fan, to the point of modifying his image inducer to reproduce the visage of the classic swashbuckler; so he’s sure to enjoy a boxed set of Flynn’s most famous films.

WHAT HE’D PREFER: A soul.

BACKUP GIFT: A collection of John Donne sonnets.

LOCAS: THE MAGGIE AND HOPIE STORIES, BY JAIME HERNANDEZ

FOR: Magik. I have no actual narrative justification for this. I just think Magik would really dig some Love & Rockets.

WHAT SHE’D PREFER: Nothing your fragile mortal mind can grasp, kid.

BACKUP GIFT: A iPod preloaded with pop-culture nostalgia podcasts. For someone who runs with the unusually pop-savvy New Mutants, Illyana has spent relatively little of her life with any kind of media access.

CLASSIC X-MEN PVC SET

FOR: Iceman. Bobby Drake is all about original-five nostalgia, and he’s kind of a goofball, so he would probably enjoy the hell out of this X-Men PVC set, featuring the original team, Professor X, and Magneto (and one of the better Iceman sculpts out there).

WHAT HE’D PREFER: For Professor X to still be alive and everyone to be friends again.

BACKUP GIFT: An Elsa tiara.

ALL SEVEN SEASONS OF DESIGNING WOMEN

FOR: Rogue. Look, Rogue does not need another pair of fancy gloves. What Rogue needs is seven seasons of the most badass, progressive, Bechdel-test-acing Southern-lady sitcom of all time.

WHAT SHE’D PREFER: A three-day bender with Julia Sugarbaker, and maybe conscious control over her powers.

BACKUP GIFT: Another pair of fancy gloves.

As Mentioned in Episode 36 – Steal This Podcast

December 21, 2014 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints available in the shop until 12/28, or contact David for the original!

We would really like this cover as a wall-size mural in hour home. ( #1)

Look, dude, you don’t have to like the music, but show some respect. ( #1)

OH HELL YES ( #1)

Lila Motherfuckin’ Cheney. ( #1)

Sam Guthrie is not only the politest minion, he’s the politest superhero. ( #1)

Teleportation by rockin’ guitar solo? YES, PLEASE. ( #1)

Let’s just go ahead and add Larry Niven references to the drinking game, shall we? ( #1)

Warlock takes cosplay really seriously. ( #1)

We’re not entirely sure how Lila Cheney is not a supervillain, but we’ll run with it. ( #1)

AW ( #1)

Remember Kitty’s Fairy Tale? Welcome to Illyana’s Space Opera! ( #8)

It’s s’mores-and-thinly-veiled-allegories night at the X-mansion! ( #8)

That’s a pretty sweet title page, there. ( #8)

Can we talk about Nightcrawler’s amazing disco pirate outfit? ( #8)

Montage! ( #8)

You know what to do. ( #8)

In case there was any doubt that Illyana is basically just mashing up every piece of pop culture she’s encountered… ( #8)

DRAGON SEX. ( #8)

Well, that got weird fast. ( #8)

Some long-awaited resolution. ( #8)

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE ( #8)

Not actually episode-relevant, but we’re gonna take a moment to indulge Rachel’s lettering-geek need to drool over this gorgeous credits bar. ( #8)

Next Week: Giant-Size Special #1–and, at long last, God Loves, Man Kills!

Links:

For more on the original Cats Laughing, check out their website.
Cats Laughing reunion Kickstarter!

36 – Steal This Podcast

December 21, 2014 Jay 8 comments

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Lila Cheney Wembley 84 — Art by David Wynne. Prints available in the shop until 12/28, or contact David for the original!

In which we play Six Degrees of Lila Cheney; Cannonball gets a makeover; Earth does not in fact blow up; the X-Men like their s’mores with thinly veiled allegories; and Magik dabbles in erotic friend fiction.

X-Plained:

Strong Guy
Annuals
New Mutants Annual #1 (Steal This Planet)
Lila Cheney
Both versions of Cats Laughing
The Vrakanain
Chris Claremont Book Club
Uncanny X-Men Annual #8 (The Adventures of Lockheed the Space Dragon and His Pet Girl Kitty)
Some dubious campfire games
Illyana’s Space Opera
Space pirate X-Men
Some long-awaited resolution

NEXT WEEK: Rachel and Miles’s Giant-Size Special #1, featuring God Loves, Man Kills!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Rachel and Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 18

December 19, 2014 Jay 10 comments

Week of December 17, 2014

In which it’s a good week for Iceman and Rachel is pretty much done with Sixis.

Reviewed:
Death of Wolverine: The Weapon X Program #4 (0:28)
Storm #6 (2:04)
Axis #8 (4:15)
Axis: Revolutions #4 (5:55)
*All-New X-Men #34 (8:50)

*Pick of the week (11:31)

Video reviews are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Talking About Video Reviews

December 16, 2014 Jay 2 comments

Last week, we had a little time after finishing the video reviews, so we decided to pull back the curtain for a conversation about process, sticking points, and the origin of the ubiquitous sunglasses.

As Mentioned in Episode 35 – Post-Disco Panic

December 15, 2014 Jay 9 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints available here until December 21, or contact David for the original!

Coming never, to a theater near you. (Dazzler: The Movie)

A friend pointed out that this comic is a pretty great window into what a certain category of dude thinks ladies do when they’re alone. (Dazzler: The Movie)

Wait, what? (Dazzler: The Movie)

Seriously, had Jim Shooter ever actually read any X-Men at this point? (Dazzler: The Movie)

Meet your romantic lead. (Dazzler: The Movie)

At some point, we’re going to do a roundup of every panel in this graphic novel where someone talks to themself in a mirror. Spoiler: THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM. (Dazzler: The Movie)

The really funny thing about this scene is that Frank Springer is apparently physically incapable of drawing women who don’t look like fashion illustrations, so she’s literally thinner here than in the earlier scene she’s comparing herself to. (Dazzler: The Movie)

So, that went about as well as you’d expect. (Dazzler: The Movie)

JFC, Roman. (Dazzler: The Movie)

“And it doesn’t even have Cher in it!” (Dazzler: The Movie)

I don’t care what it’s about, or what happens in it. THIS is the correct way to open your miniseries. (Beauty and the Beast #1)

Hi, Hank McCoy! (Beauty and the Beast #1)

True fact: This is what ALL parties in LA are like. I think. Probably. (Beauty and the Beast #1)

Aw, Hugo, you’re not sinister at all. (Beauty and the Beast #1)

Beast is kind of an asshole in this miniseries. (Beauty and the Beast #1)

GET IT? GET IT? BECAUSE IT’S THE TITLE OF THE SERIES! GET IT? (Beauty and the Beast #1)

Wow, Wonder Man. Tell us how you really feel. (Beauty and the Beast #1)

Introducing: The best characters in this series! (Also: That guy is not actually Abraham Lincoln, but we can pretend.) (Beauty and the Beast #1)

AND THEN BEAST STRANGLED A HORSE GUY WITH A PHONE CORD. (Beauty and the Beast #2)

And now, a lot of pictures of the residents of the Heartbreak Hotel! (Beauty and the Beast #2)

We decided that her superhero name is “Pantone.” (Beauty and the Beast #2)

This is Link, who is a mime? Maybe? Anyway, the Heartbreak Hotel is the best, and we want it to have its own World’s End-style series. (Beauty and the Beast #2)

Oooooooooooooooh. (Beauty and the Beast #2)

Meanwhile in Latveria, this. (Beauty and the Beast #2)

Okay, look, I know it’s a Grand-Guignol-style arena, but you have to admit that its sets are epic as hell. (Beauty and the Beast #2)

Wellp. (Beauty and the Beast #3)

And now, back to the TRUE stars of the series. (Beauty and the Beast #3)

“Oh, my god! They’ve… they’ve decanted her!” (Beauty and the Beast #3)

Awwwww. Seriously, though, do you not want to see a series about Kate’s friends and her old-school superhero (or supervillain) adventures? (Beauty and the Beast #3)

We’d like to point out that they just had this entire set and the costumes lying around. JUST IN CASE. (Beauty and the Beast #3)

That’s pretty cold, Alexander. Pretty. Cold. (Beauty and the Beast #3)

Wait, what? (Beauty and the Beast #4)

Wait, WHAT? (Beauty and the Beast #4)

WAIT, WHAT? (Beauty and the Beast #4)

Several months ago, Rachel said that Havok had the dumbest hat in the Marvel Universe. She was mistaken. Alexander von Doom has the dumbest hat in the Marvel Universe. We regret the error. (Beauty and the Beast #4)