Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 413 – Convergence

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We’re still not sure about the word for a gatefold-and-a-half, but here’s a good one. (X-Force #75)
Welcome to Exploding Colossal Man! (X-Force #75)
Karma and her girlfriends. (X-Force #75)
I’d like to think she spends her time being an asshole at New Age bookstores, too. (X-Force #75)
Wandering down memory lane with Mirage and Warpath. (X-Force #75)
OOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhh (X-Force #75)
This is really about as far as that ever gets X-Plained. (X-Force #75)
I really dig the weirdness of the art of the Colossal Man. (X-Force #75)
If you know, you know. (New Mutants vol. 4 #30)
This gimmick has been used a lot over the years… (X-Force #76)
…but it plays nicely here. (X-Force #76)
Noooooooooooooo! (X-Force #76)
A very fun fight (at least for the reader). (X-Force #76)
Two great tastes that go great together! (X-Force #76)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor spirals towards its inexorable lack of conclusion.

413 – Convergence (feat. Douglas Wolk)

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In which X-Force goes to Burning Man Exploding Colossal Man; Douglas Wolk may or may not have superpowers; Karma gets girlfriends; we are already tired of Reignfire; Meltdown and Sunspot initiate a love triangle; and Jay is writing some more X-Men.

X-PLAINED:

  • Road trips
  • X-Force #75-76
  • New Mutants vol. 4 #30
  • A gatefold and a half
  • Burning Man
  • Exploding Colossal Man
  • Karma’s name
  • Echidna Faire
  • Text
  • Selene (more) (again)
  • Crowd scenes
  • Various character relationships
  • Callbacks
  • Mud
  • A magic box and a fancy stick
  • Eitri the Dwarf
  • A grand conjunction
  • A big, silly fight
  • Peak late ‘90s queer culture
  • Echidna Faire
  • Bowling
  • Etienne Rousseau
  • Updating Bastion’s facial hair
  • Wolverine’s mentees

NEXT EPISODE: The beginning of the end of X-Factor

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As Mentioned in Episode 412 – Yappin’ and Scrappin’

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And then Cyclops left for Alaska again. (X-Men #71)
Dark Phoenix athleisure! (X-Men #71)
As Piglet and Tigger slowly back away… (X-Men #71)
The past didn’t go anywhere. (X-Men #71)
Between Kelly and Pacheco, that is a hell of a compelling conversation. (X-Men #71)
So, how was the trip to Counter-Earth? What was your favorite part? Didja bring us anything? (X-Men #71)
Battle of the gross bone-spikes (X-Men #72)
Marrow’s online handle is xXBloodReaper69Xx (X-Men #72)
Not a good look, Ororo. (X-Men #72)
Fun fact: every case study in Miles’s college neuropsychology text book was about a brain injury from a motorcycle accident! (Uncanny X-Men #351)
“It’s a hypnotic pterodactyl wearing jorts in a metal box, obviously!!! (Uncanny X-Men #351)
To be fair, they don’t look very nice. (Uncanny X-Men #351)
And yet, Pyro’s insurance company still would have encouraged him to go to Urgent Care instead. (Uncanny X-Men #351)
Where’s Waldo? (Uncanny X-Men #351)
Cecilia has no time for Daredevil’s bullshit… and Daredevil has a lot of bullshit. (Uncanny X-Men #351)
Jay and Miles after recording an episode. (Uncanny X-Men #351)
Oh no (Uncanny X-Men #352)
“Honey, I think the new neighbors may be… weird.” (Uncanny X-Men #352)
“…ya dick.” (Uncanny X-Men #352)
ZIELL ZIELL (Uncanny X-Men #352)
Does “evil custodians” belong in r/rareinsults or r/brandnewsentence? (Uncanny X-Men #352)
Then panel below this shows Miles’s face melting into that time he accidentally deleted his Final Fantasy VI save right after unlocking the Paladin Shield. (Uncanny X-Men #352)
See you in the desert, Sam! (Uncanny X-Men #352)
Jean Grey, action hero! (Uncanny X-Men #352)
It… it’ll be fine. Yeah, fine. Probably. (Uncanny X-Men #352)
NEXT TIME: X-Force goes to Burning Man!

Links & Further Reading

412 – Yappin’ and Scrappin’

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In which Kelly and Seagle’s X-runs begin with immense promise; dark psychic residue gets just everywhere; Storm’s past is literally buried; Wolverine is just saying is all; Cecilia Reyes’s job doesn’t deserve her, and Cyclops and Phoenix are the worst at being normal.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Grey family reunion
  • X-Men #71-72
  • What counts as an Uncanny X-Men #138 cover reference
  • Baggage and also suitcases
  • Steve Seagle’s (scuttled) Phoenix plans
  • Bone whiskers
  • Telemarketer power moves
  • Cecilia Reyes
  • Marrow (Sarah)
  • Sam Guthrie’s tiny ponytail
  • The ol’ wall-of-televisions trope
  • The cost of one banana
  • Sebastian Shaw vs the IRS (maybe)
  • A mostly empty attic
  • Wolverine’s etiquette lessons
  • The dessert claw vs the salad claw
  • The physicality of Carlos Pacheco’s art
  • Cannonball, the grown-up in the room
  • Magneto’s increasingly complicated past
  • Magnus, Erik, and Max (again)
  • Uncanny X-Men #351-352
  • Cecilia Reyes’s return-to-office
  • Intersectionality
  • Pyro, forever dying of the Legacy Virus
  • Daredevil vs Cecilia Reyes’s bedside manner
  • Kevin, Lord of the Jungle
  • Ending conversations by turning into a bird
  • A.I.M.* (*Advanced Idea Mechanics)
  • Crows of Ill Portent
  • A Box of Entity
  • Condors and Cockatoos
  • Logan’s denim proclivities
  • Arcade vs. Mojo

Special thanks to Dylan Higgins for edits and production assistance!

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force goes to Burning Man!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 411 – Tearaway Pants

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When you meet a straight couple, you should ask them which is the Nic Cage and which is the John Travolta. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Fuckssake, Warren. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Severe costume injuries. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Logan’s skiing / beat poetry outfit. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
After thirty years, Warren finally gets a gun, I guess. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
SERIOUSLY, HOW DO THEY RECOGNIZE IT?! (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Much like Gambit, I hallucinate a team of X-Men insulting me at all times. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
Hydro-Man. He sure is. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
Jean Grey advocates for change. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
Aw. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
See, they body-swapped because of carpet static and… y’know what? Just watch Gravity Falls. You won’t regret it.
NEXT EPISODE: Back to the core!

411 – Tearaway Pants

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In which we actually kind of like a Sabretooth story; we’re not asking for viscera, here; all pants on Earth-616 are tearaway pants; we’d like to see more Wolverine stories about bodily autonomy; Gambit’s hallucinations have hallucinations; and there are probably too many X-books.

X-PLAINED:

  • Punch-clock villains
  • Hydro-Man’s secret weakness
  • 411
  • ‘90s fashion
  • X-Men Unlimited #17-18
  • X-Men Unlimited vs. annuals
  • A difficult casting decision
  • Forge’s neutralizer gun
  • Costume injuries
  • Color symbolism? Kinda? I guess?
  • Mrs. Hoo
  • Saberine & Wolvertooth
  • Warren Kenneth Worthington III vs. shirts
  • How to dress for Earth-616
  • Hot buttered whatever
  • Boob foliage
  • Clones
  • Very tenacious blood stains
  • The return of the Angry Claremontean Narrator
  • Lots of hallucinations
  • Oscar the Fixer
  • Hydro-Man
  • Redemption, symbolic and otherwise
  • The evolution of Magneto’s name
  • Our ideal X-line

NEXT EPISODE: Back to the core!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 410 – Jubilee, Don’t Eat That

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A boojum, which is later referred to repeatedly as a snark but is clearly not one for reasons expounded in this episode. (Generation X #37)
Gaia the Super Chill. (Generation X #37)
SURE WHY NOT (Generation X #37)
A somewhat unlikely timetable. (Generation X #37)
SURE WHY NOT (Generation X #37)
SURE WHY NOT (Generation X #37)
I freakin’ love this cover. (Generation X #38)
Interdimensional portals are rad as heck. (Generation X #38)
(Generation X #38)
jubilee no don’t eat that why would you even (Generation X #39)
SURE WHY NOT (Generation X #39)
In a genre full of deeply oblivious goons, these two may in fact be the most oblivious. (Generation X #39)
NEXT EPISODE: The return of the Angry Clarmontean Narrator!

410 – Jubilee, Don’t Eat That

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In which the M-Plate Saga continues; Jay gets into the spirit of the day; we briefly give up on our primary mission; the story is coordinated if not coherent; Miles is not allowed to continuity-shame about Tolkein; Gaia is extra chill; Dirt Nap discovers altruism; and Jubilee should absolutely not have eaten that.

X-PLAINED:

  • Vampires vs. Marrow (again)
  • Whether Marrow is a mutant
  • Drugs
  • X-Plaining the inexplicable
  • Generation X #37-39
  • M-Plate (more) (again)
  • A Boojum
  • How to correctly identify a snark
  • The Universal Amalgamator (more) (again)
  • A door
  • Moria, kind of, I guess?
  • Mysterious topiary
  • An equally mysterious train
  • The Citadel of the Universal Amalgamator
  • Gaia
  • How to make a deal with a Token
  • Orange milk
  • A network of interdimensional water closets
  • The Bill the Pony Effect
  • An attempted murder
  • Monet vs. Northstar
  • Characters we’d like to see come out of the subtext

NEXT EPISODE: The Angry Claremontean Narrator Returns

CORRECTION: Miles said that the previous episode was #410. This episode is in fact #410; the previous episode is #409.

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As Mentioned in Episode 409 – Lurid Malarkey

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In which Sean entirely fails to X-Plain Monet. (Generation X #34)
Tracy Authier, middle-school bandit. (Generation X #34)
Now I really wanna read Paige’s descriptions of these guys. (Generation X #34)
Oh, Paige. (Generation X #34)
The hell what?! (Generation X #34)
M-Plate! (Also, I’m pretty sure Penance’s word balloon is supposed to go to Synch.) (Generation X #34)
Fun with Chimera. (Generation X #35)
Everett, no. (Generation X #35)
In which things get a trifle Windsor McCay. (Generation X #35)
Jubilee’s hallucinogenic Wonderland. (Generation X #35)
More fun in Wonderland. (Generation X #35)
Meet Elwood. (Generation X #36)
Do you know who these people are? PLEASE TELL US! (Generation X #36)
This is not a great way to introduce yourself to the neighbors. (Generation X #36)
Spoiler: Chief Authier is a telepath. (Generation X #36)
NEXT EPISODE: that happens

409 – Lurid Malarkey

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In which nobody is sure what Emplate actually eats; airport food is not a good peace offering; Larry Hama writes a good Jubilee; the St. Croix siblings merge; and we honestly have no idea what a Token is.

X-PLAINED:

  • Emplate vs. Marrow
  • What’s been up with Generation X
  • Generation X #34-36
  • Claudette and Nicole St. Croix
  • Emplate (more) (again)
  • Controlled chaos
  • Tracy Authier
  • Bullying
  • Dorian and Weasel (again)
  • Treasures
  • EAT
  • Some unusually friendly blackmail
  • Wizard Magazine
  • Husk’s diary and hypothetical fanfiction
  • Chimera
  • A Lepton imploder
  • Dirt-Nap
  • M-Plate
  • A dream, we think, probably
  • Jubilee in Wonderland
  • A Token
  • Chief Authier
  • Elwood
  • Landau, Luckman, & Lake (again)
  • The Citadel at the Edge of Reality
  • The Universal Amalgamator
  • Magik on screen
  • Our favorite villains and alignment shifts from the Krakoa era

NEXT EPISODE: The M-Plate Saga concludes

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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