Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

43 – It’s Not a Secret If It’s in the Title

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Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and travel mugs available until 2/15/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and travel mugs available until 2/15/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which we cover 21 issues in one episode; Secret Wars is a toy commercial; Jim Shooter’s X-Men are not the X-Men to which we are accustomed; Doctor Doom makes a surprisingly benevolent god; Secret Wars II is neither secret nor a war; The Beyonder learns to poop; and Boom-Boom is the best thing to come out of Secret Wars.

X-Plained:

  • Secret Wars
  • The not-particularly-secret origin of Secret Wars
  • Binary morality
  • Battleworld
  • The Wrecking Crew
  • Klaw
  • The Beyonder
  • Molecule Man
  • Doki-Doki Universe
  • Titania and Volcana
  • Zsaji
  • Secret Wars II
  • The Passion of Jim Shooter
  • Stewart Cadwall
  • What people do
  • Tie-ins
  • Pooping
  • What it means to be Spider-Man
  • Boom-Boom (Tabitha Smith)
  • The time a bunch of superheroes saved the universe by killing a baby

NEXT WEEK: Legion, with Si Spurrier!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Rachel and Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 24

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Week of February 4, 2015.

In which Wolverines is extraordinarily pretty, the Guardians of the Galaxy play D&D, and we disagree about Mister Sinister.

Reviewed:

  • The Black Vortex #1 (0:24)
  • Wolverines #5 (2:41)

Pick of the Week: Agent Carter, S1E5 (5:20)

These video reviews are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

February 2015 T-Shirt of the Month: What Would Peter Corbeau Do?

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WWPCD_announcement

 

Who’s the man who holds the Marvel Universe together while the superheroes are out gallivanting around the galaxy?

Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau, that’s who.

He’s got two Nobel prizes. He built his own space station. He survived splitting rent with the Hulk, swam across the Atlantic Ocean, snuck the X-Men into space, and is the namesake of the most unimpeachably legitimate award in comics.

And when you hit a moral or personal or scientific dilemma that will only stand for the most awesome possible solution, there’s only one question you need to ask: What Would Peter Corbeau Do?

In that spirit, it is our great pleasure to debut February 2015’s t-shirt of the month, designed by the ever-splendid Dylan Todd!

Screen Shot 2015-02-02 at 8.44.33 AM

As the name implies, this is a LIMITED RUN: T-shirts and hoodies (including kids’ and infant sizes!) will be up in the shop through March 1, 2015, then DISAPPEAR FROM THE SHOP FOREVER. (Tote bags and travel mugs may persist, depending on interest. We’ll see.)

T-shirts of the month are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

As Mentioned in Episode 42 – A Firestar Is Born

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 2/1/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends (but not in that order).
Context is irrelevant. (Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends)
“John, dude, can we talk about the fact that you just turned into a fucking bear? No? Okay.” Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends
“It means you’ll be hated and feared! Isn’t that wonderful?” (Firestar #1)
“Professor, is it true what they say about exposition in X-books?” (Firestar #1)
Wait ’til they find out she hasn’t even read Carlyle! (Firestar #1)
Oh. Angelica. Honey. No. (Firestar #1)
I’m pretty sure there’s a Talking Heads music video that starts exactly like this. (Firestar #1)
DON’T TRUST HER, ANGELICA! SHE’LL BLOW UP YOUR HORSE! (Firestar #1)
This horse’s name is Butter Rum. Don’t get too attached. (Firestar #2)
The Emma Frost who actually cares about her students did not make her first appearance until some years later. This Emma Frost is just an unapologetic monster. (Firestar #2)
Emma Frost is the best evil narrator. (Firestar #2)
“What could POSSIBLY go wrong?” (Firestar #2)
Miles ‘ships it SO hard. (Firestar #2)
That horror-movie WHINNEY! in the last panel, though. (Firestar #2)
Remember that time Emma Frost convinced a vulnerable teenage girl that she had killed her beloved horse by becoming sexually aroused? BECAUSE THAT DEFINITELY HAPPENED. (Firestar #2)
“What? This? Oh, no, I build killer robots of ALL my friends.” (Firestar #3)
AHAHAHA OH RANDALL YOU’RE SO DOOMED (Firestar #3)
Firestar X-Plains X-Men #193. (Firestar #3)
Seriously, I’m pretty sure Angelica’s dad being kind of a dick to her is the only thing that saves him from CERTAIN DOOM. (Firestar #3)
(He feels bad about it, though, so he still gets beaten up in the airport.) (Firestar #3)
Why does she throw her drink? We may never know. (Firestar #3)
And then she just straight-up breaks into “Stars” from Les Mis. (Firestar #4)
So sinister! (Firestar #4)
And that’s the end of Randall. (Firestar #4)
Fight scene, or breakin’ it down on the dance floor? YOU BE THE JUDGE! (Firestar #4)
For full effect, you have to imagine Firestar’s dialogue read by Alison Brie as Annie Edison. (Firestar #4)
Next Week: Secret Wars Why we drink.

42 – A Firestar Is Born

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 2/1/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 2/1/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Miles has a brush with nostalgia; Angelica Jones is secretly a Thomas Hardy protagonist; it doesn’t need to make sense if it’s awesome; and Emma Frost really needs a mustache to twirl.

X-Plained:

  • Trevor Fitzroy
  • Firestar (Angelica Jones)
  • Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends
  • Nostalgia
  • X-Men, if sometimes the main characters were bears
  • Inexplicably Australian Wolverine
  • Ms. Lion
  • Marvel Divas
  • Sudsy fun
  • Superhero sitcoms
  • Firestar #1-4
  • Basic palmistry
  • Generic mean girls
  • Coen Brothers YA
  • The reinvention of Emma Frost
  • Some epic gaslighting
  • Butter Rum
  • Mutivac
  • Miles’s favorite star-crossed ‘ship
  • Why Thunderbird I has stayed dead
  • Contextual definitions of “organic”

NEXT WEEK: Secret Wars

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Sorry About That

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cyclops_facepalm

Sorry. I’m sorry.

It has been a hell of a January, mostly for reasons I can’t really go into here. I was going to spend this week getting caught up on the stuff that fell behind while I was putting out fires in the first half of the month; but then Miles and I both got sick; and we decided at the last minute to do a Secret Wars episode, which meant reading about twenty issues very fast; and apparently there’s something in DayQuil that really messes with the way my eyes track, which is making everything involving text and images–which is to say, everything–take about twice as long as it normally would.

All of which is to say: X-Men: Evolution recaps will begin next week. Thank you for your patience. I’m going back to bed.*

-Rachel

*JUST KIDDING! I’m going to go research, write, and record a voiceover thing; then send about a dozen e-mails and finish reading Secret Wars II. Sick days are for people with real jobs!

Rachel and Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 23

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Week of January 28, 2015.

In which we carefully avoid spoiling Uncanny X-Men and remain disappointed by the lack of Wolverines heists; and Rachel mispronounces Bachalo but doesn’t realize until she’s already editing the video (oops).

Reviewed:

  • Uncanny Avengers vol. 2 #1 (0:27)
  • *Uncanny X-Men #30 (2:59)
  • Wolverines #4 (4:17)
  • Spider-Man and the X-Men #2 (5:52)
  • Amazing X-Men #16 (6:57)

*Pick of the Week (8:22)

These video reviews are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

As Mentioned in Episode 41 – Hated and Feared

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 2/1/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Not a dream! Not an imaginary story! (X-Men #193)
“The hard part wasn’t bringing you back from the dead–it was getting you into those leather pants.” (X-Men #193)
Firestar’s first comic-book appearance. We’d like to tell you it goes uphill from here, but, no. (X-Men #193)
Let’s take a moment to admire the complete impracticality of Kitty’s jacket. (X-Men #193)
“That’s right, Sam. And when you’re headmaster of your own school, you can dress however you want.” (X-Men #193)
Kitty’s jacket again, because it is just so gloriously awful. (X-Men #193)
The robot enforcers of the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission. Or something. (X-Men #193)
Empath: Literally the worst kid. (X-Men #193)
In which Charles Xavier takes advantage of a teachable moment. (X-Men #193)
Aw, Nimrod, you’re so wacky. (X-Men #193)
It seems like a waste that this sequence isn’t accompanied by sitcom opening-credits music. (X-Men #194)
Things about Rachel Summers that are not The Saddest Thing at this point in continuity: None of them. (X-Men #194)
Really, Earth-811? Limitless budget, and you couldn’t design anything that looked better than THAT? (X-Men #194)
Voltron special! (X-Men #194)
The scene depicted on the cover ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT TAKE PLACE AT ANY POINT DURING THIS ISSUE. Good god, Marvel. (X-Men #195)
And now, an actual nightmare that you have actually had! (X-Men #195)
Seriously, what the hell, George? (X-Men #195)
Aw. (X-Men #195)
Damn, Shadowcat. That’s cold. Not entirely inaccurate, but cold. (X-Men #195)
I have no idea how they’re going to explain this one to their parents. (X-Men #195)
Next Week: Firestar!

41 – Hated and Feared

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 2/1/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 2/1/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Nimrod is probably an honorary Summers by this point; Claremont hits a centennial; it’s probably pretty hard to get an unconscious person into tight leather pants; the X-Men finally encounter a world that actually hates and fears them; and the Power Pack fits somewhat uneasily with the grown-up Marvel Universe.

X-PLAINED:

  • Nimrod
  • Uncanny X-Men #193-195
  • Thunderbird II (James Proudstar)
  • Situation-inappropriate attire
  • The worst Hellions
  • Firestar (Angelica Jones)
  • Why you call ahead before breaking into NORAD
  • Leadership
  • Public opinion
  • Juggernaut fights
  • How the X-Men wake up
  • Nazgûl
  • Tyranny of the Masses: The Robot
  • The Voltron Special
  • The Power Pack
  • Navigating crossovers

NEXT WEEK: Firestar!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Rachel and Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 22

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Week of January 21, 2015

In which All-New X-Factor ends, Iceman is his own best foil, and Jordie Bellaire is a hell of a colorist.

Reviewed:

  • All-New X-Men #35 (00:26)
  • Wolverines #3 (2:19)
  • X-Factor #20 (3:45)
  • *Magneto #14 (5:01)

*Pick of the Week (7:18)

These video reviews are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!