In which it’s all Secret Wars all the time; Dennis Hopeless is a consistent source of Feels; Old Man Logan fills the Wolverine-Western-shaped hole in our lives; Jubilee wins; and we are forced to radically rethink some assumptions about big summer crossover events.
REVIEWED:
*Inferno #1 (0:27) Secret Wars Journal #1 (4:42) X-Men ’92 Infinite Comic #1 (7:17) Old Man Logan #1 (11:05)
*Pick of the Week (13:42)
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. These video reviews–and everything else here–are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/31/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
We encourage you to judge this book by its cover. (Nightcrawler #1)
WELL DONE. (Nightcrawler #1)
No idea whether “Boggie” is actually a Bored of the Rings reference, but we’d like to think so. (Nightcrawler #1)
Yowza! (Nightcrawler #1)
We want a vacation home in Dave Cockrum’s brain. (Nightcrawler #1)
AND THEN A SHARK WIZARD HAPPENED. (Nightcrawler #1)
Things about this series that are absolutely delightful: all of them. (Nightcrawler #2)
Boggies X-Plain the plot. (Nightcrawler #2)
OH HELL YES (Nightcrawler #2)
Whoops. (Nightcrawler #2)
Don’t get comfortable! You’ve still got two issues to go! (Nightcrawler #2)
Bamfs are basically terrible sex smurfs. (Nightcrawler #3)
Meen. It’s spelled M-E-E-N. (Nightcrawler #3)
Suuuuuure, we’ve heard that one before. (Nightcrawler #3)
Wellp. (Nightcrawler #3)
X-cellent use of sound effects. (Nightcrawler #3)
Lady Bamfs are ALSO terrible sex Smurfs. (Nightcrawler #4)
CRETACEOUS SAM, WE LOVE YOU. (Nightcrawler #4)
That Illyana Rasputin owns a prodigious collection of pornography is the least surprising revelation of this series. (Nightcrawler #4)
In his defense, she does have extra fancy hair. (Iceman #1)
“You don’t steal another man’s elemental puns!” (Iceman #1)
If we had a dollar for every time this happened… (Iceman #1)
Aw, Bobby. (Iceman #1)
This could definitely not be read as an allegory for anything else ever, right? (Iceman #1)
This is basically how all of our family reunions go, too.
Sneaking in the window, in his underwear (costume, but STILL), carrying an interdimensional projector: kind of the perfect Bobby Drake moment, no? (Iceman #2)
Kiiiinda wishing they’d gone with Freaky Friday instead of Back to the Future, but whatever. (Iceman #2)
I bet at times like this, Bobby seriously questions his choice of superhero costume. (Iceman #2)
Well, that got grim fast. (Iceman #2)
“Man, Marty McFly never had to deal with this shit!” (Iceman #2)
And now, a surreal existential hellscape! (Iceman #3)
Not gonna lie: I love the hell out of this version of the X-Men. (Iceman #3)
NO SERIOUSLY IT’S EVIL PALETTE-SWAPPED ORKO (Iceman #3)
Oblivion X-Plains the story so far. (Iceman #3)
Teenagers, man. (Iceman #3)
Parents: the same in any dimension. (Iceman #4)
Iceman getting universe-defying moments of heroism is rare and pretty much universally awesome. (Iceman #4)
THIS FUCKING MINISERIES, MAN. (Iceman #4)
If we had to sum up Iceman in one image, it’d be this one. (Iceman #4)
The implications for multiversal continuity are kind of staggering. (Iceman #4)
Spoiler: This does not actually change anything. (Iceman #4)
Next Week: X-Men ’92, with Chris Sims and Chad Bowers!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/31/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which Nightcrawler does Weird Tales; Iceman does Back to the Future; we want a vacation home in Dave Cockrum’s brain; Bamfs are terrible; the 1983 Iceman miniseries is straight-up bananas; parents just don’t understand; and Rachel will take literally any excuse to talk smack about John Ruskin.
X-PLAINED:
Vanisher
Nightcrawler #1-4
Bizarre Adventures #27
Iceman #1-4
The Well at the Center of Time
The downside to hanging out with pirates
A shark wizard in a tiny loincloth
Better living through sound-effect awareness
Boggies
The key to a classic Nightcrawler story
Earth-5311
Bamfs
The full extent of Rachel’s Smurfs knowledge
Cretaceous Sam
Sehv
Illyana Rasputin’s porn collection
The Drake family
An exceptionally unlikely girl next door
The definitive Miles’s Mom anecdote
Marge Smith / Mirage
White Light
Idiot
Kali (but not that one)
Two generations of Officers Ratchit
Pornography no one wants to see
Death by time travel
Oblivion
Night Man (kinda)
Our ideal cross-media adaptations
NEXT WEEK: X-Men ’92, with Chris Sims and Chad Bowers!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. These video reviews–and everything else here–are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’ve teamed up with Elle Collins–our friend and regular partner in podcastcrime–to offer Rachel & Miles X-Plain the X-Men buttons at Strange Tomorrow! You can get all the designs pictured above, in a ton of colors; and be sure to click over to the rest of the shop for some really kickass recycled-comics badges and custom options.
As a side effect of her return from near-death, Jean can perfectly recall any outfit–except her own. (X-Factor #2)
“But at least I know how to put on my goddamn pants.” (X-Factor #2)
Oh, Vera, what have they done to you? (X-Factor #2)
“Trust me, this is in no way an allegory for any other situations in your life.” (X-Factor #2)
Walls are the real victims in Layton’s run. (X-Factor #2)
Why do thugs ever fall for that line? Seriously. (X-Factor #2)
It’s okay, Scott. We’re only a few issues away from Louise Simonson. (X-Factor #2)
X-Factor vs. yet another wall. (X-Factor #2)
Dr. Maddicks: kind of awful. (X-Factor #2)
In addition to being kind of a crap scientist, Carl Maddicks is a terrible parent. (X-Factor #3)
I was seriously considering having this entire as-mentioned just be X-Factor knocking down walls. (X-Factor #3)
Jean recognize her team’s signature move. (X-Factor #3)
Aaaaand there goes another wall. (X-Factor #3)
Scott and Jean finally have a talk about–wait, no, just kidding, they’re about to get interrupted by urgent news. (X-Factor #3)
AMAZING, Hank. AMAZING. (X-Factor #3)
LOOK AT THIS GLORIOUS COVER. (X-Factor Annual #1)
Wellp. (X-Factor Annual #1)
Thank you for that highly relevant footnote, comic book. (X-Factor Annual #1)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the underwear. (X-Factor Annual #1)
Headcanon: Heinreich has worked out a whole backstory for this secretary, and he’s really disappointed that he didn’t get to use more of it. (X-Factor Annual #1)
Serious question: is this the only time Bobby’s clothing transforms to ice along with him? DISCUSS. LEAVE NO STONE UNTURNED. (X-Factor Annual #1)
How come some of these people are wearing robot underpants and others are not? (X-Factor Annual #1)
The Crimson Dynamo is not, in fact, the Red Scare. UNFORTUNATELY. (X-Factor Annual #1)
But seriously, the mix-up is pretty understandable.
Iceman vs. Iceman! (X-Factor Annual #1)
Oh, for the love of… (X-Factor Annual #1)
They’re fighting Tower and knocking down a wall at the same time! Two drinks! (X-Factor #4)
Joanna Cargill is so awesome. SO. AWESOME. (X-Factor #4)
At least he put on pants this time? I guess? (X-Factor #4)
X-Factor: actually kind of terrible. (X-Factor #4)
In case you happened to be wondering where the original art from this page is, the answer is our office. (Thank you, Tom!) (X-Factor #4)
Does no one ever use doors in this comic? (X-Factor #4)
Best outfit, best character, worst attempt at a cliffhanger. Also, I’m pretty sure one of us used to have a Mage: The Ascension character named Time Shadow. (X-Factor #4)
“It’s like we were briefly allowed to evolve as characters but have since reverted to a social dynamic we had long since outgrown.” (X-Factor #5)
True Fact: If one of you had submitted this outfit for the plainclothes cosplay contest, you would have won, no questions asked. (X-Factor #5)
And there goes another wall. (X-Factor #5)
Frenzy has no patience for your sub-par command of Yiddish. (X-Factor #5)
The less-than-inspiring debut of one of the X-Men’s greatest villains. (X-Factor #5)
Many thanks to Bobby Roberts for 57 spectacular episodes of production, advice, and boundless patience. You are the best, and we love you forever. (Art by David Wynne.)
Art by David Wynne. We’re not selling prints of this one, but you can still hit David up for the original!
In which Miles tries to find things to like about Bob Layton’s X-Factor run; Cyclops’s life is literally an anxiety dream; X-Factor is very Leverage; Layton’s Angel is just godawful; Rachel is all about the Red Scare; Frenzy is awesome; and we bid a fond farewell to producer Bobby Roberts.
X-PLAINED:
An Apocalypse that might have been
Mid-80s X-title thematic disambiguation
The limited value of nostalgia
Creative history of X-Factor
X-Factor #2-5 and Annual #1
The baffling reinvention of Vera Cantor
Tower (Edward Pasternak)
Dubious didactic strategies
Carl Maddicks
Artie Maddicks
Muffin the kitten
Bad timing
Soviet mutant policy
Soviet robot disambiguation
The Doppelganger (Wolfgang Heinreich)
A ruse
Alexei Garnov, Mentac the Living Computer, Concussion, Iron Curtain, and Siberian Tiger
The worst phonetic accent we have ever seen.
The Alliance of Evil
Frenzy (Joanna Cargill)
The color of Beast’s fur
Our favorite X-Men toys
NEXT WEEK: Miniseries Mayhem!
Many thanks to Bobby Roberts for 57 spectacular episodes of production, advice, and boundless patience. You are the best, and we love you forever.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re not selling prints of this week’s illustration, but you can contact David Wynne for the original!
In which Storm ends, Wolverines drags on, and Secret Wars continues to be unsettlingly good.
REVIEWED:
Magneto #18 (0:27)
Storm #11 (2:59)
Wolverines #18 (5:38)
Uncanny Avengers #4 (7:19)
*Secret Wars #2 (9:54)
*Pick of the week (13:19)
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. These video reviews–and everything else here–are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
I like this episode, because this is where Evolution starts to catch its stride and find its voice. “Middleverse” is kind of a mess animation-wise, but it’s also a one-off, a lighthearted breath of fresh air before we dive headfirst into the Big Ongoing Story next episode.
It also gets bonus points for being a Forge episode, which is almost always a plus. Comics Forge tends to be dark and brooding and at the center of convoluted storylines and soap opera, but two out of three animated Forges are uncomplicatedly delightful. The best animated Forge, of course, is Wolverine and the X-Men Forge, who just straight-up is Miles to the extent that we had his action figure in college and more than one person assumed it was a custom portrait. But Evolution Forge is pretty great, too.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/17/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Bobby makes some valid points. (New Mutants #36)
Remember being fourteen? (And also a mutant superhero?) (New Mutants #36)
Damnit, Beyonder. (New Mutants #36)
Hey, look! It’s a literal derailment in the middle of a metaphorical derailment! (New Mutants #36)
Don’t you hate it when your best friend’s soul gets split by a cosmic force and suddenly you’re stuck with her eldritch armor, weapon, and amulet, when all you really wanted was a library book? Yeah, us, too. (New Mutants #36)
Not even being brainwashed and absorbed into a cosmic hive-mind can come between Cannonball and his classic science fiction allusions. (New Mutants #36)
Aw, Illyana. (New Mutants #36)
This cover = Rachel’s definitive Beyonder. (New Mutants #37)
The New Mutants have the best incidental moments by a wide margin. (New Mutants #37)
Seriously: WHO THE HELL IS THAT ABOVE RAHNE? (New Mutants #37)
Relevant metaphor is relevant. (New Mutants #37)
THE BEYONDER IS A DICK. (New Mutants #37)
THAT IS NO EXCUSE. (New Mutants #37)
The Beyonder comes off as a petulant child in a lot of Secret Wars, but in New Mutants, he’s legitimately terrifying. (New Mutants #37)
Headcanon: In Marvel Asgard, there is at least one legit full-length saga about this storyline, focused on Dani. (New Mutants #37)
This cover. This scene. This series. (New Mutants #38)
Of all the scenes in all the issues of New Mutants, NONE has ever stuck with Rachel as hard as this one. (New Mutants #38)
Aw, kids. (New Mutants #38)
YES (New Mutants #38)
Is there a better pep talk than a pep talk from FROG THOR? We think not. (New Mutants #38)
Warlock, you delightful scamp! (New Mutants #38)
Empath is the worst ever forever. (New Mutants #38)
That “Next Issue” blurb, tho. (New Mutants #38)
Another memorable cover. (New Mutants #39)
Aw, man. (New Mutants #39)
Sadneto. (New Mutants #39)
Keith Pollard’s Emma is so good. (New Mutants #39)
It just DOES NOT STOP SUCKING to be Tom and Sharon. (New Mutants #39)
Madneto! (New Mutants #39)
Emma Frost, you sneaky person! (New Mutants #39)
WARLOCK IS THE BLACKBIRD. YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID. (New Mutants #40)
Magneto is trying so hard to be the man he promised Xavier he’d be. Poor guy. (New Mutants #40)
Really, Cap? Really? You gonna go there? (New Mutants #40)
Teacher Magneto might be the best Magneto. Definitely one of the most critically unremembered and underused. (New Mutants #40)
Aw, New Mutants. (New Mutants #40)
The perfect Emma Frost moment. (New Mutants #40)
Next Week: Angel in tiny briefs (more) (again), too much Tower, and the dubious debut of Apocalypse!
LINKS AND FURTHER READING:
Yaybo! Marvel Unlimited added New Mutants #36-40 just in time for this episode (starting here)!
In terms of formative influence, Kyle Baker’s Why I Hate Saturn was basically Rachel’s third parent.
