Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

405 – Morally Purple

In which Jay returns; babies are bad at pretty much everything; continuity flies straight out the window; Cable should speak English with a Scottish accent; Harry Leland knows how to dress; Tanya Trask makes the same time travel mistake everyone makes; and we love Al Kennedy forever.

X-PLAINED:

  • Sentry (but not that one)
  • Babies
  • Flashback
  • Cable #-1
  • Excalibur #-1
  • Generation X #-1
  • Uncanny X-Men #-1
  • The preturn of Angus McWhirter, angry hovercraft-rental guy
  • Hippie Cable
  • Veins of science
  • Yet another time travel loop
  • What may or may not be how Nightcrawler quit the circus
  • Sabu
  • “Science”
  • A large volume of dubious continuity
  • Larry Trask (more) (again)
  • Jay’s cosplay aspirations
  • Sanctity (Tanya Trask)
  • The Twelve (somewhat)
  • A possible splinter timeline
  • The X-Men of 1602
  • Rube Goldberg

NEXT EPISODE: Flashback continues!


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404 – Marvel UK, Yes?

And now for something completely different. (Death’s Head II #1)

In which Death’s Head gets around universes; AIM fails to recognize closed narrative loops; we need more huscarls in comics; time travel occasionally solves the problems it creates; and we bid a fond farewell (for now) to Al Kennedy.

X-PLAINED:

  • Death’s Head
  • Death’s Head II #1-4
  • Marvel UK
  • Death’s Head I
  • Minion
  • Earth-8410
  • The far future of 2020
  • Dr. Evelyn Necker
  • How to dress for time travel
  • Reed Richards’s mother’s name
  • Earth-12892
  • Robin Hood of Future Past
  • Heavily armed nuns
  • Tuck
  • Spratt
  • The Lord High Protector
  • Huscarls
  • Baron Strucker V
  • Charnel
  • A large number of deaths
  • A deft solution to a complex problem
  • Essential Marvel UK
  • Marvel UK vs. Marvel US
NEXT WEEK:
Go outside and touch some grass!
NEXT EPISODE:
The return of Jay!

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403 – Sneaky-Peeky Stuff

Did the Astral Plane used to be this cramped? (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)

In which Shadowcat gets a new miniseries; people don’t talk that way (but probably should); holograms are magic; the Helicarrier gets possessed; Wolverine fights a computer; and Miles and Al pitch live-action X-series.

X-PLAINED:
  • Possession
  • Shadowcat (Kitty Pryde) (more) (again)
  • Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1-3
  • A surprising helicopter
  • Frictionless bed sheets
  • S.H.I.E.L.D. vs. S.H.I.E.L.D. vs. S.H.I.E.L.D.
  • The word “obstreperous”
  • The nefarious doings of nasty transom peekers, envelope steamers, and door kickers
  • Larry Hama dialogue
  • Rigby Fallon
  • Yet another return of Ogūn
  • One way to get from the Brooklyn Bridge to a Helicarrier
  • Yet another fight on the astral plane
  • Wolverine vs. technology
  • The intrinsic power of life, I guess
  • Visibility of psychic powers
  • Live-action X pitches
NEXT EPISODE:
Death’s Head II!

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402 – What the Damn?!

Captain Mustache, Part the Second. (Excalibur #115)

In which Marvel UK was a wild ride; everyone has a definitive Kitty Pryde; Sari St. Hubbins studies her X-Men; Moira MacTaggert discovers contagion theory; ideas do not stories make; Meggan is the heart of the team; and Excalibur inches towards its finale.

X-PLAINED:
  • Marvel UK
  • Digitek
  • Excalibur #114-117
  • What Excalibur’s been up to
  • Tunnels vs. sewers
  • An unexpected callback
  • Slang
  • The mutability of Kitty Pryde
  • Friendship
  • Sari St. Hubbins
  • Fashion
  • One way to get around a power inhibitor
  • A frosted tips outline
  • Viruses
  • Phalanx love
  • Greebling
  • A substantial retcon
  • Excalibur vs. the Sidri
  • Marvel characters’ musical associations
  • Whether there have been more X-Men or Avengers
NEXT EPISODE: Kitty Pryde goes to work for The Man

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401 – True Tales of Double-Entry Bookkeeping

And now for something completely different. (Generation X Holiday Special #1)

In which Santa Claus makes problematic choices; we make good on a promise; Sebastian is the new Deadpool; Skrulls get stuck as animals more than you’d think; Nanny and Orphan-Maker celebrate; and Jubilee stops worrying and learns to love Christmas.

X-PLAINED

  • Santa Claus’s flirtations with villainy
  • A new direction for Generation X
  • Larry Hama
  • Al vs. U.S. geography
  • Generation X #32-33
  • Generation X Holiday Special
  • New Mutants #92
  • Thing One & Thing Two St. Croix
  • The Circus of Crime
  • The Pirates of Dark Water (somewhat)
  • Hacker T. Dog
  • Why Wolfsbane is scared of clowns
  • Skrull Kill Crew
  • Carnie Voltron
  • Chief Authier
  • Phat beats
  • A reality biscuit
  • Emplate’s pocket dimension
  • Chimera and Dirtnap
  • Variant interiors
  • Nanny & Orphan-Maker (more) (again)
  • Santa Claus (in general)
  • Benefits of inconsistent characterization

NEXT WEEK: Break week

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur!


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400 – Loud Noises

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which legacy numbering is best left alone; all roads lead to the Antarctic; we finally learn Gambit’s big secret; Erik the Red gets yet a third identity; no one soils the Juggernaut; Maggott saves the day; and we have somehow made (technically more than) 400 of these things.

X-PLAINED

  • Spat
  • The tragic loss of the Cyber Comics
  • How not to back up your work
  • Uncanny X-Men #350
  • X-Men #70
  • A shambles
  • What’s been happening since Operation Zero Tolerance
  • A very fancy cover
  • Insufficient outerwear
  • Senses
  • Justice as a decorating theme
  • Baffling statuary
  • The return of Erik the Red
  • Erik the Red (again)
  • Ferris
  • Gambit’s big secret
  • A large number of continuity errors
  • A total dick move
  • De-icing
  • Untitled Marrow Game
  • A big fight
  • Living room surgery
  • Legal documents
  • Favorite anniversary issues
  • Dangling plot threads

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X vs. Christmas


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399 – The Cybertronic Spree

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the X-Force road trip era begins; Team X takes on a new dimension; Dani Moonstar gets her subtext back; pointing out a stereotype doesn’t excuse using it; Tabitha Smith generally deserves better; platypuses are underrepresented in the superhero genre; Hell becomes Stryfe; and Domino gets back in the game.

X-PLAINED

  • A dastardly plot
  • X-Men 2099
  • Road trips
  • X-Force #71-74
  • Team X
  • Love & Rockets reference
  • Stan and Ollie
  • The Triplets of Belleville
  • How not to fund your film
  • Michael Whitecloud
  • Project Stepladder
  • Colossal Man
  • Several references to X-Force -1
  • Platypuses
  • Edwin Martynec
  • Weaponized humming
  • The death of Warpath
  • Hell
  • Blackheart
  • Friendship
  • A mysterious villain

NOTE: Whoa, The Cybertronic Spree is actually a real band!

NEXT WEEK: The return of Erik the Red!


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398 – Shanna the Wee Devil

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
In which the rest of the X-Men return from space; Maggott is the new cool; Gambit’s past catches up with him; Chris Bachalo takes over as regular artist on Uncanny X-Men; Deathbird flirts singularly aggressively; Eany and Meany eat a truck; dating a telepathic ninja is going to take some getting used to; and Havok predictably remains ABD.
X-PLAINED
  • Motormouth (Harley Davis)
  • Motormouth and Killpower
  • Uncanny X-Men #347-349
  • Grovel and Spat
  • A horse guy who is actually a cat-frog-lizard guy
  • An extraordinarily half-assed action figure
  • Load-bearing backstory
  • Landscape
  • The other Nanny
  • Elegant foreshadowing
  • Beast’s appearance as a mutant power
  • Gambit’s chest hair
  • The end of playtime
  • CCA-compliant foliage
  • Deathbird and Bishop
  • A vanity plate
  • Eany and Meany
  • One-off psychometry
  • Psylocke vs. Maggott
  • Decompression
  • Havok’s enduring lack of a Ph.D.
NEXT EPISODE: X-Force hits the road!
NOTE: In this episode, Miles theorized Grovel’s voice as sounding halfway between Cable and Kermit the Frog without realizing that he was in fact just describing Sweetums. -Jay

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397 – Mürdr at IKEA

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Al Kennedy and Miles enter a somewhat post-OZT world, the art of Frank Teran (whose uncle built a jetpack) elevates an otherwise merely decent story, Puck is played by Bob Hoskins, Wild Child gets a chance to shine, Mystique and Forge are sitting in a tree, and Swamp Thing is amazing.

X-PLAINED:

  • Spider-Man’s head cold
  • Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1
  • Sabretooth (Victor Creed)
  • Wild Child (Kyle Gibney)
  • Horrible violence, expertly implied
  • The ubiquity of sewers
  • Saturday morning cartoons of R-rated movies
  • Serial killers with G.I. Joe names
  • Improbable tracking
  • Bilingual crime
  • Chekhov’s waterfall
  • DRUGS
  • X-Factor #136-137
  • The Hound program
  • Skeumorphism
  • Doctor Valerie Cooper and Major Edmond Atkinson, excellent exes
  • Questionable wound-dressing
  • Holograms
  • Government jobs
  • The sad fate of the Chase family
  • Nimrod disambiguation
  • The Marvel Universe According to Doctor Seuss

NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men return from space!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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396 – Giant-Size Special #11

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we spend too long trying to place a time-travel miniseries in continuity, Al Kennedy does us a solid, Bernard Chang draws some excellent New Mutants young and old, Al Ewing x-plains X-Men: Red, Forearm and Random play Nintendo, and we reveal the winners of The Ninth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence!

X-PLAINED:

  • Jay’s spatial and temporal whereabouts
  • Cannonball, Mirage, Magik, Sunspot, Wolfsbane, Karma, Magma, Cypher, Warlock, and Douglock
  • New Mutants: Truth or Death
  • Kitty Pryde and Illyana Rasputin, gal pals
  • Triple-dog dares
  • Nova Roma, or not
  • Mikhail F**king Rasputin
  • The arrogance of reality warpers
  • How to write Magma
  • The Technarchy and the Phalanx
  • Hardee’s X-Men: Time Gliders
  • Farmboy chic
  • Bernard Chang’s 21 Panels
  • Branching vs. overwriting timelines
  • The effects of de-aging and history rewriting on immunology
  • Found family
  • She Who Swam With The Acanti
  • Sleep-Eeze Mattresses Starring The Hulk
  • Arrako
  • Continuity synchronicity
  • S.W.O.R.D. as a workplace drama
  • The moral downfall of Abigail Brand
  • The leadership styles of Storm, Magneto, and Sunspot
  • Himbo disambiguation
  • The fates of Armor, Risque, and Peeper
  • Mysterium Clicker
  • Santa Claus
  • The Ninth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence

(Note: Our interview with Al Ewing contains spoilers for X-Men: Red!)

NEXT EPISODE: Sabretooth betrays an X-team! Again!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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