Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

453 – X-Men ’97, Part 1

SPOILER WARNING: ALL OF THEM, NONSTOP

In which we put the comics on hold to take a look at X-Men ’97; it is still always Inferno in here; Wolverine is best used sparingly; a Marvel show finally embraces politics; Wolverine is best in small doses; Madeylne Pryor still always deserves better; Jubilee grows up; and we are all in on this series.

X-PLAINED:

  • “Beyond Good and Evil”
  • X-Men: The Animated Series and our respective feelings about it
  • X-Men ’97, episodes 1-5
  • Watching X-Men ’97 with and without context
  • Making animated Cyclops work
  • The Magneto’s-hair-length morality index
  • Politics
  • Voices
  • Adaptation pacing
  • Agency
  • Abcissa
  • Foreshadowing
  • Time compression
  • Horniest Rogue
  • Death in cartoons
  • A metaphor
  • Nonbinary identity in 1997
  • Character evolution

NEXT EPISODE: Episodes 6-10


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452 – Hot Nothing

In which Magneto is not full of mirth; nobody real or fictional likes Fabian Cortez; when you’re a speedster, every problem is a metaphorical nail; The Zealot makes some valid points; and when Quicksilver declares himself your conscience, it’s time to examine your life.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Magneto got his powers back
  • Morally ambiguous hair
  • Genosha (more) (again)
  • Magneto Rex #1-3
  • Magneto vs. Conan
  • Trish Tilby
  • Omniscient narrative condemnation
  • Magneto’s true archfoe
  • Magistrates (more) (again)
  • Mutates (more) (again)
  • Dr. Alda Huxley
  • Phillip Moreau (more) (again)
  • Jenny Ransome (more) (again)
  • Pipeline (Cormac Grimshaw)
  • Teleportational nudity
  • The Zealot
  • Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
  • Amelia Voght (more) (again)
  • Several of Magneto’s on-again-off-again children
  • The Bastille (but not that one)
  • Mutant numbering
  • When to use full frontal nudity in your comic
  • The X-books we’re not covering
  • The Amulet of Right vs the Sword of Might

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men ’97!


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451 – Meanwhile in Another Dimension

In which we remain fascinated by Magneto’s robot butler; murder is Logan’s love language; the Juggernaut punches a hole in reality; Professor Xavier makes it weird; and Storm lectures several gods.

X-PLAINED:

  • Silly mutant powers
  • Uncanny X-Men #368-369
  • X-Men #88
  • Alan Davis’s X-Men run
  • Magneto’s robot butler
  • Joseph’s funeral
  • Nun-sense
  • A voyage to another dimension
  • Eyebrow power
  • Ejulp
  • The Trion
  • The other Gem of Cyttorak that’s like the first one but somehow worse
  • Several comas
  • Juggernaut vs. Juggernaut
  • Evil, kind of
  • Vacationing with X-Men characters
  • Illyana Rasputin and Rachel Summers

NEXT EPISODE: Magneto Rex


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450 – Live at the Clinton Street Theater

In which we celebrate our tenth anniversary by X-Plaining what may be the most reviled X-arc; you should not try this at home; Mystique is so much better than this story; Azazel is a really boring devil; Nightcrawler should probably be missing a hand; the Xavier School definitely does not have an HR department; and we would prefer that you not pee on Iceman.

X-PLAINED:

  • Nightcrawler’s (most recent) parentage
  • Uncanny X-Men #428-434
  • X-Men Blue: Origins #1
  • The X-Men, like, in general
  • Nightcrawler (Kurt Wagner)
  • Some narrative choices
  • Mystique
  • Baron Christian Wagner
  • Marvel Europe
  • Azazel
  • Church sex
  • Nightstreaker
  • Isla des Demonas
  • Foibles of Warren Kenneth Worthington III
  • Annie and Carter Ghazikhanian
  • Abyss
  • Kiwi Black
  • The Cheyarafim and Neyaphem
  • Bad times with psychic therapy
  • Post-traumatic supervillainy
  • Uncool Hell
  • A miracle of magnetism
  • The only cool thing in Uncool Hell
  • A very elegant retcon
  • X-Muppets
  • Characters who deserve more page space
  • Miles’s favorite X-Person
  • What the Worthington Corporation does
  • A character who could reasonably be Azazel’s kid

NEXT EPISODE: Back to X-business as usual!


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449 – Dressing the X-Men, with Russell Dauterman

In which artist Russell Dauterman joins us to discuss super-powered costume design!

X-PLAINED:

  • Why it’s important to get a professional to design your superhero costume
  • Why Miles doesn’t trust the government
  • Russell’s history at Marvel
  • Designing for the Hellfire Gala
  • Mutant fashion
  • The word “fashionize”
  • Iconic looks
  • Modernizing superhero costumes
  • Powers vs. personality
  • Punk goddess Storm
  • Designing for drawability
  • Magic hair
  • Russell’s influences
  • Definitive Rogue costumes
  • X-Men ‘97
  • Best X-team costumes
  • Jay’s holy grail cosplay
  • Magic hair, cosplayed
  • Costume retrospectives
  • Where to find Russell online
  • Evil twin trends of the 1990s
  • Fuck You Pink

NEXT EPISODE: Jay & Miles Live at the Clinton Street Theater!


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448 – Skamageddon

Feral’s back – just in time to wreck Jay’s voice again! (And Siryn’s, but we’ll get to that later.) (X-Force #88)

In which timeline math is almost never worth it; Tarot comes back from the dead (kind of) (maybe); Magma makes a heel turn; “King Bedlam” would be a great name for a ska band; not every nude man can turn into a bear; and you don’t have to talk to your supervillain relatives.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Triune Understanding
  • Birthday party follow-up
  • X-Force #87-90
  • Legacy and continuity
  • Bedlam (Jesse Aaronson)
  • Tarot (Marie-Ange Colbert)
  • Goat Simulator
  • King Bedlam (Christopher Aaronson)
  • The New Hellions
  • Perils of body-swapping
  • Linear time
  • Science
  • Armageddon Man
  • Paradigm
  • Senator Owen Danville
  • Family
  • A fancy hat
  • Madame Web
  • Many natural disasters
  • Early Genoshan history
  • Longshot as a villain

NEXT EPISODE: Dressing the X-Men with Russell Dauterman!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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447 – Minor Altercation of the Mutants

In which everything is an event these days; Skin may or may not have a skeleton; everyone has a crush on Synch; we are intrigued by Integer; and it’s hard to be Emma Frost.

X-PLAINED:

  • War of the Mutants
  • Generation X #50
  • X-Man #50
  • Nate Grey (again)
  • Adrienne Frost
  • Science
  • Dark Beast (again)
  • Gene Nation
  • Vessel
  • Hemingway
  • Membrain
  • Fever Pitch
  • Dark Opsidian
  • Iron Maiden
  • Wynter
  • Tattoos
  • More science
  • Integer
  • Trauma
  • Multiversal designations
  • The Morlock Tunnels

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force vs the New Hellions


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446 – Live at the Magnetosphere

Ah, the age-old question: would you scissor your clone while yelling? (Uncanny X-Men #367)

In which the Magneto War comes to a close.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Men #86-87
  • Uncanny X-Men #367
  • Quite a few other things, which we’ll add to this post tomorrow!

NEXT EPISODE: Nate Grey meets Generation X!


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445 – Dick War

In which not every story needs to be an event; Alan Davis returns to the X-line; X-mansion security is not what it once was; Rogue needs some new fantasies; and Magneto wants a country.

X-PLAINED:

  • A poor governance decision
  • X-Men: The Magneto War #1
  • Uncanny X-Men #366
  • Astral demerits
  • A very dramatic dream
  • The yolk of oppression
  • Several Acolytes
  • Nightcrawler’s nightcap
  • Our standards for advertisers
  • Suburban Magneto
  • Ferris
  • Magnet problems
  • Forged DNA
  • Mutants from Georgia, Florida, and Indiana
  • Flying with Storm

NEXT EPISODE: Magneto wins.


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RSVP to our birthday shenanigans!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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444 – Damnit, Magnus

In which it’s difficult to flee with soup; Miles may or may not be haunting the X-Men; Colossus collaborates involuntarily; Marrow is full of surprises; Magneto is a dick; Jay continues to carry a torch for Secret Wars: Siege; and you should totally come to our birthday party.

X-PLAINED:

  • Several rather pointed allusions
  • X-Force #86
  • Uncanny X-Men #365
  • X-Men #85
  • Almost Reno, NM
  • Where mutants come from
  • The Aguilar Institute (more) (again)
  • Abandoned towns
  • Mary the telepathic moppet (more) (again)
  • Odysseus Indigo
  • The Damocles Foundation
  • Sibling names
  • The Fundamental Attribution Error
  • A haunting
  • Christmas beer
  • Christmas ghost exquisite corpse
  • Bill Jones
  • A rescue mission
  • Essential stories of the ‘90s
  • Our weird favorites
  • Siege
  • Our upcoming 10th birthday party (more) (again)

NEXT EPISODE: Magneto War begins!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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