Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Category: podcasts

122 – Boom Boom Von Doom and the Ontology of Monsters

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which the back-up stories of Atlantis Attacks are way better than the main event; the Serpent Society is hilarious; Longshot finds a rock; the S.U.R.F.E.R.S. are no Neutrinos; our volume of digressions is inversely proportional to our investment in this crossover; Jay overthinks sunglasses; and somehow we still aren’t entirely done with Inferno.

X-PLAINED:

  • Leonard McKenzie
  • Princess Fen
  • Tiger Shark
  • A dubious crossover event and three splendid backup stories
  • The best thing in Marvel Puzzle Quest
  • Skateman
  • Atlantis Attacks
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #13
  • New Mutants Annual #5
  • X-Factor Annual #4
  • Ghaur
  • Llyra
  • Homo mermanus
  • The Serpent Society
  • Boomslang
  • Why snakes don’t wear vests
  • The Maple Hill Farm books
  • The Horn of Doom (again)
  • Namorita
  • Impractical swimwear
  • Surf, or S.U.R.F.E.R.S., or whoever the hell they are
  • Zak and the Neutrinos
  • The trouble with mobile landmarks
  • A case of mistaken identity
  • The true meaning of something, probably
  • Ralph Macchio, but not that Ralph Macchio
  • Circumstances in which it is acceptable to throw a small child down an elevator shaft
  • The definitive Boom Boom
  • Eligible gentlemen of the Marvel Universe
  • Boom Boom Von Doom
  • A false dichotomy
  • Sally Pashkow
  • A really great outfit
  • Presidencies rated by X-Books
  • Best and worst moral inversions

NEXT WEEK: Mojo Mayhem!

ART CHALLENGE: Send your best Boom Boom romance stories, covers, and pin-ups to xplainthexmen(at)gmail.com by SEPTEMBER 15, with the subject line BOOM BOOM RULES.

NOTE: In this episode, Jay briefly confused two Marvel villain teams: the Serpent Society (snake-themed villains); and the Sons of the Serpent, also known as the Serpent Men (hate group). We would like to offer our apologies to the Serpent Society, who are ridiculous but not, as far as we know, racist.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

121 – Two Sides of a Narcissistic Coin (feat. Ben Acker)

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Art by David Wynne.
Art by David Wynne.

In which Jay may or may not have sold their voice to a sea witch; Gambit and Deadpool are somewhat lackadaisical superheroes; everything Fat Cobra does is amazing; Miles is a prepared gentleman; Gambit is there to look pretty and throw something; and there is now a Ben Acker vocaloid hovering around the studio.

X-PLAINED:

  • Acker & Blacker
  • Thrilling Adventure Hour
  • X-Men #214, but not the real one
  • Deadpool v. Gambit
  • As-needed approach to continuity
  • The ontology of Deadpool
  • The time the Absorbing Man turned into cocaine
  • Wolverine Season One
  • What makes Gambit creepy
  • The roadtrip miniseries you didn’t know you needed
  • A theoretical poker game and its theoretical outcome

NEXT EPISODE: Atlantis Attacks!

There is no visual companion to this episode! Go read Deadpool v. Gambit! It’s great!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Contact David Wynne to inquire after the original of this week’s illustration.

120 – Observed by a Family of Lizard People

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which everything is worse with Nazis; Excalibur gets its groove back; Meggan has an identity crisis; Kitty gets a crush; a dragon gets interdimensional sanctuary; and the Cross-Time Caper starts not with a bang, but a foomp.

X-PLAINED:

  • The death of Lilandra Neramani
  • Excalibur #8-11
  • The best name in Hollywood
  • Still more of Inferno’s aftermath
  • A basketball game
  • Blackbird disambiguation
  • Several long-delayed reunions and one subsequent resolution
  • Alastaire Stuart (and his banana)
  • Tourists who are also lizards
  • Lightning Force
  • A number of unfortunate encounters
  • The difference between Errol Flynn characters and Errol Flynn
  • The fall of Nigel Frobisher
  • The switch that turns the engine invisible
  • What may be the world’s least subtle euphemistic use of the term “roommate”
  • How the discourse around comics has changed since the ’80s
  • Jubilee vs. power creep

NEXT EPISODE: Deadpool v Gambit, with Ben Acker!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

119 – Red Night of the Soul (feat. Elisabeth Allie)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Elisabeth hacks the Matrix; Magneto is the worst at small talk; Hela overreaches; parents just don’t understand human speech; everything is better with super-rings; Selene has a Xena moment; almost anything can be solved with a kiss; and even if you transform Doug Ramsey into a giant red murder monster, he’ll still be a huge nerd.

X-PLAINED:

  • The S-Men
  • New Mutants Forever #1-5
  • Magma’s revised family tree
  • Updating the New Mutants
  • The delicate balance of the Forever line
  • The web
  • Idiom confusion
  • A flawed cultural analogy
  • Tiberius the Generic
  • Several profoundly dubious costumes
  • Family resemblance
  • Skull v. Skull
  • The dearth of canonically asexual X-characters

NEXT EPISODE: Different Nazis

Miles here – in one of the questions for this episode, I conflated asexuality and aromanticness. Those are totally two different things. Apologies – I’m still learning!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

118 – Extrude the Grappling Arms!

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which you really can’t compete with Cable; the X-Men may or may not ditch a funeral; Nanny extrudes the grappling arms; Boom Boom is more responsible than she looks; Jean Grey is the cool stepmom; we posit an alternate explanation for Brexit; and ravens are the best dinosaurs.

X-PLAINED:

  • What happened to the Inferno babies
  • X-Factor #40-42
  • Madelyne Pryor’s funeral
  • Post-Inferno X-Factor
  • Archangel’s inconsistent appearance
  • Secret origins of Nanny and the Orphanmaker
  • Teenagers (more) (again)
  • Tom Jones (Alchemy)
  • Conversations we probably shouldn’t have with Neal Conan
  • Trolls of London
  • Dubious super-parenting
  • Phy
  • Phay
  • Phee
  • Phough
  • Phumm
  • Troll economics
  • A grocery list
  • The Ravenmaster
  • Miles’s mom

NEXT EPISODE: Miles and Elisabeth X-Plain New Mutants Forever!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

117 – How to Pee Like a Supervillain

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Gossamyr definitely probably doesn’t get blown up; we engage in a long and surprisingly canon-based exploration of Hellfire Club bathroom etiquette; the New Mutants break up with Magneto; you should probably never go swimming in the Marvel Universe; and it is possible (but unlikely) that Jay yells “IMPERIUS REX” more than is strictly necessary.

X-PLAINED

  • New Son/New Sun
  • Post-Inferno New Mutants
  • New Mutants #74-76
  • Babies
  • Ship shipping
  • Inanimate objects Warlock has attempted to befriend
  • Hellfire Club bathroom etiquette
  • A long-anticipated showdown
  • Magneto’s on-again-off-again children
  • The Mutant Wars
  • The Grey King (but not The Grey King)
  • Undersea creatures that have no business near New York
  • An Atlantean artificat of dubious provenance
  • How to deter a giant and possibly supernatural octopus
  • Recycled powers
  • Friendly sentinels

NOTE: The Dispossessed is in fact by Ursula K. Le Guin.

NEXT EPISODE: Trolls!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

116 – The Pooper of This Party

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Jubilation Lee: immediately wonderful.
Art by Marc Silvestri from Uncanny X-Men #244. David Wynne’s art will return next episode!

In which Jubilee makes her fabulous debut, the X-Ladies visit Hotbods, the X-Dudes accidentally (and drunkenly) save the world, Longshot is Sexy Johnny Karate, the only thing worse than one anti-mutant super-robot is two, and we say goodbye to a quarter of the team.

X-PLAINED:

  • Hellfire Club leadership
  • Uncanny X-Men #244-247
  • Team-relative Inferno after-effects
  • Jubilation Lee
  • Teddy girls
  • The surprisingly not-dead M Squad
  • Chaos (but not KAOS)
  • Dazzler, heart and/or steamroller of the X-Men
  • Miles’s alternate career as alien archivist
  • DC’s Invasion
  • Logan’s Guide to Kissing Etiquette
  • Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown continuity disambiguation
  • Sexy dead girls
  • Perils of the Siege Perilous
  • Sharon Kelly
  • Rogue, Carol Danvers, and relative (im)maturity
  • The MTV Generation
  • Wolverine’s hair
  • X-(misc.) Forever
  • Storm’s threads

NEXT EPISODE: The New Mutants drop out.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

No illustration this week, but David Wynne‘s art will be back next episode!

115 – So Many Teeth (feat. Max Carleton)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Jay and Max brave the X-Men anime; the problem isn’t in Wolverine’s pants; Xavier is for once less villainous than he seems; Emma Frost gets ruffly; Cyclops wasn’t even supposed to be here today; and we both really want to hang out with Scott Porter.

X-PLAINED:

  • Billy Kaplan and Tommy Shepherd
  • Waiting for the Trade
  • The X-Men Anime
  • Marvel Anime
  • Scott Porter
  • Jay’s ongoing attempts to assemble a coherent X-Men/Speed Racer conspiracy theory
  • Floating Hands Theater Wolverine
  • An unlikely T.A.
  • Several recurring flashbacks
  • The U-Men
  • The other U-Men
  • Armor (Hisako Ichiki)
  • Emma Frost, but ruffly
  • Evil Moira MacTaggert (Yui Sasaki)
  • The Sasaki Institute
  • The other Inner Circle
  • Marsh
  • Rat
  • Neuron
  • Takeo Sasaki
  • Potluck night at the Hellfire Club
  • Living vs. dead Jean Grey

NEXT EPISODE: Jubilee!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

114 – Meltdown (feat. Susan Beaver)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Havok and Wolverine head to Mexico; Havok tries his hand at noir; Wolverine gets serious about hair gel; Meltdown is probably not actually a common Russian surname; Susan X-Plains nuclear reactors; and we are pretty thoroughly besotted with Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown.

X-PLAINED:

  • Age of Apocalypse Corsair
  • Epic Comics
  • Marvel Comics Presents #24-31
  • Leila O’Toole (Plasma)
  • The Cold War
  • Samantha Smith
  • Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #1-4
  • General Meltdown
  • Dr. Neutron
  • The varying deadliness of vices
  • Scarlett McKenzie (Quark)
  • Some exceptionally gorgeous artwork
  • Why we love Havok
  • Chernobyl
  • How nuclear reactors do and don’t work
  • Other characters we’d like to see in Meltdown-type stories
  • Adamantium vs. vibranium

NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men Anime

Special thanks to guest reactor X-Pert Susan Beaver!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

113 – Play It Again, Patch

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CONTENT NOTE: Episode 113 contains fairly extensive discussions of fictional violence, including gun violence. If you don’t want to listen to that right now, that is absolutely okay. If you want to listen to it later, it’ll still be here. And if you never want to listen to it, that is absolutely okay, too.

We were on the fence about whether to post this episode today. We ultimately decided to go ahead, for two reasons:

There’s value in routine in the face of tragedy.

There are times when continuing to exist visibly and publicly is itself an act of defiance.

Love and solidarity to everyone who’s grieving right now, and especially to our Florida friends and family, and to fellow members of the queer community.

-Jay & Miles

security_camera

EPISODE 113: PLAY IT AGAIN, PATCH

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Wolverine gets an ongoing series; the constitution of Madripoor is probably just a list of pulp noir genre conventions; Tyger Tiger is a kinder, gentler crimelord; Jessica Drew gets possessed a lot; the Silver Samurai and Lindsay McCabe are our dream team; Joe Fixit is a font of endless delight; and someone should probably sit Wolverine down and explain how disguises work.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Murasama
  • The other Murasama
  • Life after Inferno
  • Madripoor
  • Wolverine #1-10
  • The Princess Bar
  • O’Donnell
  • The hierarchy of Casablanca references
  • Roche
  • Razorfist
  • The Inquisitor
  • Sapphire Styx
  • Tyger Tiger
  • What makes a good solo series
  • Lindsay McCabe
  • Wolverine’s signature drink
  • Possession pants
  • Silver Samurai (again)
  • Patch
  • Bloodsport & Roughouse
  • Archie Corrigan and his plane
  • Landau, Luckman, & Lake
  • Chief Tai
  • General Nguyen Ngoc Coy
  • Prince Baran and His Remarkable Pants
  • Joe Fixit
  • The worst possible way to celebrate someone’s birthday

NEXT EPISODE: Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!