Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Category: podcasts

211 – A Cornucopia of Mayhem: X-Cutioner’s Song (Part 2 of 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jubilee is underwhelmed by X-Force; Havok and Gambit make weirdly good buddy cops; Department K is a hot vacation destination; Cable is secretly a Coen Brothers protagonist; you can cancel Community but you can never take away Jay’s gratuitous Community references; Rusty goes full cultist; nobody is Stryfe’s real dad; smoking on a space station is a REALLY bad idea; Apocalypse is here to help; and Miles lies at length about music.

X-PLAINED:

  • Kuurth
  • Various Juggernauts
  • The Story So Far
  • More trading-card taxonomy
  • Uncanny X-Men #295
  • X-Factor #85
  • X-Men #15
  • X-Force #17
  • Varyingly hilarious misunderstandings
  • Wire Mothers: Harry Harlow and the Science of Love
  • What happened
  • Good Cop / Sleazy Cop
  • A deal
  • A tragic absence of Draculas
  • The Coen Brothers’ X-Cutioner’s Song
  • Thanksgiving with Cable
  • Miles’s summer camp hijinks
  • Murderbots in space (again)
  • A dubious strategy
  • MLF Redshirts
  • The second time someone force-fed superheroes baby food in space
  • A dropped plot thread
  • Things you shouldn’t do on space stations
  • Additional awkward reunions
  • Whether Stryfe is a Summers
  • The X-Cutioner’s signature karaoke song

NEXT EPISODE: Dang, this event is long.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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210 – The End of Tomorrow: X-Cutioner’s Song (Part 1 of 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which you may or may not have your own Black Bug Room; FlameCon was in fact every bit as wonderful as we projected (and more); Caliban hates true love; no one will ever be as extra as Mister Sinister; X-Cutioner’s Song is secretly a farce; we achieve Peak Cable; and the quintessential ’90s crossover event begins!

X-PLAINED:

  • The Black Bug Room
  • A good deal of pre-event status quo
  • Uncanny X-Men #294
  • X-Factor #84
  • X-Men #14
  • X-Force #16
  • Trading card taxonomy
  • The opening strains of a crossover event
  • A concert that worked out better in theory than in practice
  • An abduction
  • Several attempted murders
  • A large number of awkward reunions
  • An even larger number of inter-team brawls
  • Two villains pretending to be other villains
  • Cape logistics
  • Peak Cable
  • Many pouches
  • Many guns
  • The origin of Hope Summers
  • Our hopes for mutants in the MCU

NEXT EPISODE: Aw, Stryfe, no.

NOTE: At one point in this episode, Miles said “X-Force” when he actually meant “X-Factor.” If you can tell us where, you win the prize of eternal smugness (not as much smugness as Sinister, but still a lot).

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

209 – To Me, My X-Books; feat. Jordan D. White

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we welcome Marvel editor Jordan D. White to the podcast to talk about the current state of the X-Universe!

X-PLAINED:

  • The cosmic luck balance
  • Mr. Dapples
  • A remarkable concurrence of luck
  • Our FlameCon live show lineup
  • What an X-Men group editor does
  • How X-books happen
  • Longshot Saves the Marvel Universe
  • Shatterstar
  • Jordan’s history with X-Men
  • Uncanny X-Men: First Class
  • Wolverine: First Class
  • Whether Deadpool is an X-Man (No.)
  • Mercurial mutancy
  • What defines the X-Men
  • Queer X-characters (and their absence)
  • Problematic namesakes
  • Sailors X
  • Drawing lines on social media
  • Why to read modern X-Men
  • Uncanny X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: X-CUTIONER’S SONG BEGINS!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

208 – The X-Patriots

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which nobody wears the pants in the X-Plain family; Havok is a remarkably okay boss; Polaris may want to find a new doctor; Quicksilver has no time for your nonsense; we are very conditionally okay with resurrections; and if you spoil Season 5 of Steven Universe for Miles, we will never ever ever forgive you.

X-PLAINED:

  • Jay & Miles at FlameCon
  • Advantages of recording remotely
  • X-Factor #81-83
  • What Genosha’s been up to
  • Prodigal
  • An impassioned speech
  • An unfortunate accident
  • Yet another return(ish) of Sauron
  • Chain of command
  • Lukas
  • Pirouette
  • Yet another justification for the name of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
  • Phantazia (again)
  • Immovable vs. unstoppable
  • What you do on a boat
  • Taylor
  • When Havok still cared
  • “The Mutant Rap”
  • Adventures in New York
  • How to bond with Quicksilver
  • An angry mob
  • A derailed storyline
  • The ignominious death of Rick Chalker
  • Our opinions on the revolving door of death
  • X-Men vs. electronics
  • Superheroes from the Balkans
  • Theoretical X-Men and Steven Universe team-ups

NEXT EPISODE: X-Editor Jordan D. White!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

207 – Blood and Metal

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Miles has a Dracula problem; we are really, really excited about FlameCon; Fabian Nicieza is the unsung hero of the early ’90s; Jay doesn’t explain the Iranian Hostage Crisis; Cable does not have a good history with trademark disputes; Cable: Blood and Metal is secretly an allegory for the X-books of the early 1990s; friendship and explosions don’t have to be mutually exclusive; and history evokes but doesn’t quite repeat itself.

X-PLAINED:

  • Dracula disambiguation
  • One way to stop a vampire invasion
  • Wang beams
  • Cable: Blood and Metal #1-2
  • The continuing miracle that is Fabian Nicieza
  • Cable (as established in 1992)
  • Stryfe
  • The Wild Pack and/or Six Pack
  • The ongoing evolution of John Romita, Jr.
  • Tolliver
  • Several heists of varying quality
  • Numerous patches and their contents
  • How the Wild Pack became the Six Pack
  • An idiom, examined
  • A total dick move
  • Muscles-and-guns power creep
  • Guns of tomorrow
  • The McNinja point
  • A brief flirtation with Magic: The Gathering
  • A typo that became canon
  • The new She-Ra
  • The new, improved Garrison Kane
  • European nipple lasers
  • Mr. Richter
  • The evolution of Cable

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor gets political.

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Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

206 – Anatomy of a Phoenix

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which you should all come see us at FlameCon; all lizards are good lizards; we recap a recap; the Phoenix force is really complicated; Earth-99476 may or may not be the secret history of Earth-616; Alan Davis takes on continuity; the X-Men fail to save the day; the Phoenix says its piece; Rachel takes a vacation in space; Captain Britain doesn’t like to be psychoanalyzed; and the Crazy Gang gets a happy ending.

X-PLAINED:

  • Evil Shadowcats
  • Jay & Miles at FlameCon
  • Excalibur #51, 52, and 54
  • A brief history of Excalibur
  • The Phoenix Force
  • A recap of a recap
  • What this episode isn’t covering
  • Lizard Excalibur
  • The most meta t-shirt in the multiverse
  • Several long-ago Halloween costumes
  • Dinosaurs of Earths-616 and -99476
  • National Lampoon Vacation apocrypha
  • Earth-99476 and its Savage Land
  • The Fantastic Five
  • A vow of vengeance
  • Feron as an antecedent to Kubark
  • Alan Davis’s modern authorial counterpart
  • A telepathic journey
  • The full history of the Phoenix Force (as established circa 1991)
  • Inherited vs. inherent mutant powers (and a No-Prize explanation thereof)
  • The rehabilitation of Rachel Summers
  • Several retcons yet to come
  • Jean Grey’s inconsistent relationship to the Phoenix Force
  • A mysterious disappearance
  • What the Crazy Gang has been up to
  • The nicest kind of twist
  • A very easy way to make Kitty Pryde textually queer
  • Differentiating X-teams
  • The X-Plain Discord
  • Strong Guy’s new hobby

NEXT EPISODE: Cable: Blood & Metal

UPDATE: Not only can birds see color, but they can see a wider spectrum than humans. THE MORE YOU KNOW!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

205 – Back to Basics

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jay returns from Latveria; Sabretooth is significantly less menacing in French; Fabian Nicieza takes the reins; X-Force wins our hearts and minds; Gideon plunders Flash Gordon’s wardrobe; Crule does not actually rule; Rictor was right; Ship is the friend who helps you move, but better; the X-Force kids strike out on their own; and it’s probably impossible to explain Joseph too much.

X-PLAINED:

  • The secret origin of Gideon
  • How to get deported from Latveria
  • Marvel en français
  • X-Force #11-15
  • Some gratuitous posturing
  • Pico
  • What the actual Domino has been up to
  • One hell of an outfit
  • Peacock powers
  • Crule
  • A comical mix-up
  • A somewhat radical cosmology
  • A very dramatic strike force
  • Tygerstryke
  • X-Force post-Liefeld
  • Weapon P.R.I.M.E.
  • A four-page spread
  • A fight for one is a fight for all
  • Vance Astro
  • The death of Copycat
  • Things only Cable and Domino could do
  • Joseph (more) (again)
  • Marvel style and its evolution

NEXT EPISODE: Fire, life, and backstory!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

204 – Naughty By Nurture

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In which Jay runs away to Latveria (but Hub is here to save the day!); you shouldn’t eat the brown promethium; Magneto and Cap fight over the world’s tiniest man; Rom is somewhat set in his ways; all anyone in the 616 really wants out of a disguise is plausible deniability; and Hub was inside your heart all along (and you might want to see a doctor about that).

X-PLAINED:

  • Several Limbos
  • Captain America Annual #4
  • Captain America vs. Magneto
  • The return of the theoretical Magnetostache
  • The Great Mutant Massacre (but not that one)
  • Drunk-at-a-wedding Magneto
  • Mister One
  • Mister Two
  • Ghost Writer
  • Peeper
  • Lifter
  • Burner
  • Slither
  • Shocker
  • Skin suffocation
  • Rom #17-18
  • The Toy Collector
  • Dick Warlock, revisited, more, again
  • Bill Mantlo
  • Rom: Spaceknight
  • Dire Wraiths
  • The secret lives of inanimate objects
  • Brandy Clark and Steve Jackson
  • Jacob the Dire Wraith and His No-Good Son Jimmy
  • The smell of evil
  • Swiss army eyeballs
  • Sidekicks for the Transformers

NEXT EPISODE: The Return of Rictor!

Special thanks to Emergency Back-Up Cohost Hub of Titan Up the Defense!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

203 – The X-Man’s Burden

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the Morlocks used to have more agency, we have a surprising amount to say about the Rat King from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Archangel receives some exceptionally disturbing news, and 90s comics are all about finding the parts you love.

X-PLAINED:

  • Marrow’s internal organs
  • The post-Image Exodus era
  • Judging books by their covers
  • Uncanny X-Men #291-293
  • Sexy dead girls (again)
  • The Morlock leadership vacuum
  • A significant Callisto personality retcon
  • Failures of leadership due to own-death-faking
  • The magical life and magical death of the Morlock Sewer Wizard
  • Science Made Stupid
  • Storm’s claustrophobia (again)
  • MeMe, scourge of Miles’s childhood
  • 90s Jean Grey: cartoon vs comic
  • The Br’er Rabbit Technique
  • Some unfortunate and significant continuity errors
  • Professor Xavier’s impressive upper body strength
  • Mikhail Rasputin’s genuinely terrifying mutant powers
  • Bobby Drake’s potential
  • Morlock organizational techniques
  • Mikhail Rasputin’s very bad plan
  • Jean Grey’s real talk
  • The Home for Infinite Losers
  • Piotr Rasputin, tragedy collector
  • Copyright law and Fair Use
  • Queer headcanon
  • X-beards

NEXT EPISODE: Hub from Titan Up the Defense joins Miles to talk Bronze Age X-weirdness!

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Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

202 – Rhapsody in Blue (and Gold)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which music is dangerous and confusing, Jamie Madrox has a weakness for femmes fatale, the term “f-holes” makes Miles turn 12, and we bid a fond farewell to Larry Stroman.

X-PLAINED:

  • That time Havok was the nexus of all realities
  • How to get to Florida, Magneto style
  • X-Factor #79-81
  • Lesser-used applications of super-speed
  • Rhapsody (Rachel Argosy)
  • Mutant late bloomers
  • The surprising convenience and safety of fictional shop windows
  • Excalibur-weird vs. X-Factor-weird
  • Tiny cellos
  • The worst kid in the neighborhood
  • A creative use of mutant powers
  • Whether Madrox creates duplicates during sex (again)
  • Astral wheat fields
  • Musical manslaughter
  • Sean Young (who is decidedly not Catwoman)
  • Hell’s Belles
  • Rahne’s World
  • Polaris’s body image issues
  • Beefiness disambiguation
  • Wolfsbane’s conditional poker face
  • Cyber (Silas Burr)
  • Strong Guy, who just works here, man
  • Alex Summers, inspiring and/or deceptive authority figure
  • Bringing back the classics (and when not to)
  • The surprisingly homogenous Multiverse

NEXT EPISODE: Mikhail Rasputin ruins everything.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)