Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

283 – Legion Quest Quest

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jay is writing a Cyclops one-shot; It is honestly truly almost Legion Quest; Mystique plays the long game; sometimes filler is a good thing; Havok is a geophysicist, not a geographer; Lila definitely stole it; and more stories should be set in space junkyards.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Betsy Braddock got her original body back
  • Marvel Snapshots: X-Men
  • The lead-up to Legion Quest
  • X-Factor #108-111
  • Mystique’s skill set
  • Legion (David Haller) (more) (again)
  • Freedom Force
  • The most powerful of devices
  • A dream about a dream
  • An intersection of unreliable narrators
  • The narrative justification for Legion Quest
  • A rock monster
  • Jornick
  • Lila Cheney (more) (again)
  • A Kurt Vonnegut reference
  • The K’Lanti
  • A space junkyard
  • The end of X-Factor’s second iconic era
  • Our favorite male/female X-friendships
  • Pros and cons of line cohesiveness

NEXT EPISODE: Chip Zdarsky!


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282 – The Tide Takes the Castle

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning should really be the setting of a stoner comedy; Garrabed Bashur’s brain is probably 90% porn by now; the tide always takes the castle; William Drake remains terrible; Adam X the X-Treme deserved better; Jay pitches a series; disability is not a boolean and exclusively medically-defined state; and we are all about some weird X-Men tie-in products.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mariko Yoshida in the afterlife
  • Moon Talk
  • Some upcoming X-books
  • X-Men #38-39
  • Uncanny X-Men #319
  • Many unhealthy coping mechanisms
  • Sinister foreshadowing
  • Fancy hair
  • Commcast (Garabed Bashur)
  • Hawk sex
  • An exceptionally resonant callback
  • Intersectional bigotry
  • The domestic dynamics of the Drake household
  • The remarkably poignant return of Adam X the X-Treme
  • The opposite of a Jack London story
  • An unlikely intergenerational frienship
  • A novel use of a novel superpower
  • Mutation as and intersecting with disability
  • X-Men tie-in products we’d like to see

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor fills in!


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281 – Memories

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Warpath and Colossus should start a support group; X-Force gets a new HQ; we make an unprecedently large number of musical-theater references; Cable is a highly qualified individual; tranq darts don’t work like that; Emma Frost gives fairly decent advice; the malls of Boston will never be the same again; and we need mutant body diversity now.


CONTENT WARNING: This episode involves discussion of child sexual abuse, murder, and cruelty to animals. If you want to skip that part, head to 34:42 for happier times!


X-PLAINED:

  • An early adventures of the brothers Proudstar
  • The new New Mutants trailer
  • Starlight Express
  • X-Force #40-42
  • Feral (Maria Callasantos) (more) (again)
  • X-Force’s new digs
  • Little Shop of X-Force
  • Thornn (Lucia Callasantos)
  • Code Blue
  • Cable’s law degree
  • How tranq darts (don’t) work
  • A lot of murder
  • Several family reunions
  • A terrifying team-up
  • Body diversity and fat representation in X-books
  • Feral’s Jellicle name
  • Cats, kind of, I guess

NEXT EPISODE: We get really intense about Adam X the X-Treme.


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280 – Business-Casual Basilisk

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the future is not great at codenames; spot foil is cool as hell; Mountjoy is bafflingly business-themed; Bishop goes full Point Break; Jean Grey and Lorna Dane should absolutely be friends; and Jay & Miles are heading to ECCC 2020!

X-PLAINED:

  • Lola vs. L.O.L.A.
  • A very good cat
  • Bishop #1-4
  • Lucas Bishop
  • Earth-1191
  • X.S.E.
  • A surprising convergence
  • Guilt
  • Bantam
  • Mountjoy
  • Some terrible banter
  • Several nontraditional modes of possession
  • Shard Bishop
  • How the kids talk these days
  • Hancock
  • Fashion of the future
  • A complex ethical struggle

NEXT EPISODE: More Cats references.


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279 – Giant-Size Special #8

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jay would absolutely fight Christmas; we welcome guest X-Perts Christina Strain and Chip Zdarsky; a gift arrives; we consider the relationship of Generation X to Generation X; it is really not okay to leave your discarded skins lying around; D.O.A. is inordinately delightful; Chamber is the punk Shadow; Gateway goes to school; the Generation X TV movie is very, very bad; telepathy is free; the grown-ups are all right; home sucks; freedom rocks; Mondo deserves better; Matt Frewer did most things first; Kevin McNulty has appeared in literally everything; and you remain our favorites, ever.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mutation, for some value of the term
  • Holidays and the observation thereof
  • December 9
  • Jay’s ideal Christmas
  • How Chris Bachalo’s name is pronounced (more) (again) (sorry)
  • Several promotions
  • Generation X
  • Generation X #1-4
  • Generation X
  • Husk (Paige Guthrie)
  • M (Monet St. Croix)
  • Skin (Angelo Espinosa)
  • Synch (Everett Thomas)
  • Chamber (Jonothon Starsmore)
  • The New Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters
  • Counting Genises
  • The housekeeping implications of body horror
  • The M retcon
  • Continuity in costume design
  • The Danger Grotto
  • Emplate (somewhat)
  • D.O.A.
  • Penance (not that one)
  • Scrabble burns
  • An alternate take on power duplication
  • Mondo ()
  • The return of Nanny and the Orphanmaker
  • Eliot ()
  • A tentative friendship
  • How the Age of Apocalypse comes to Generation X
  • A movie that never fails to disappoint
  • The vagaries of adaptation
  • The best on-screen Emma Frost
  • Gang emails of the 1990s
  • Refrax
  • Buff
  • William Castle
  • The comedic genealogy of Max Headroom
  • Hatley Castle
  • The 2019 Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence

NEXT WEEK: Jay & Miles go on vacation!
NEXT EPISODE: Bishop goes solo!


Special thanks to Christina Strain, Douglas Wolk, and Chip Zdarsky; and–always–to Matt Hunter, David Wynne, Tea Fougner, Anna Sheffey, and all of our patrons and listeners!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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278 – A Sheep in Wolf’s Clothing

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Moonstar really wasn’t fooling anybody; Bird Brain is somehow still alive; Cassidy Keep is weird; Gene Ha draws excellent Storm; Reeva Payge makes her sole comics appearance; and Shinobi Shaw is wrong about everything.

X-PLAINED:

  • A not-particularly-cunning disguise
  • Upcoming coverage
  • X-Force Annual #3
  • X-Men Annual #3
  • The MLF
  • Reignfire (more) (again)
  • Moonstar (more) (again)
  • An unconventional way to keep a secret diary
  • A bittersweet semi-reunion
  • 3Peace
  • Murphy Keep
  • A ghost, maybe
  • The kind of thing that happens at Cassidy Keep
  • An excellent burn
  • Leather
  • “Neurotoxins”
  • Sex House as the definitive artifact of the 2010s
  • How not to draw someone having a nightmare
  • A very short-lived version of the Hellfire Club
  • How not to villain
  • Coming to terms with bad fictional tech

NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special, feat. Christina Strain & Chip Zdarsky!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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277 – Hedgehogs of Cairo

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Sauron is a huge nerd; the Savage Land is where Marvel stores the weird stuff; an etymology detour does not come from the X-Pert you’d expect; and Storm will straight-up stab you.

X-PLAINED:

  • Responsible weapon storage
  • X-Men Unlimited #6-7
  • A very large creative team
  • Sauron (more) (again)
  • Blood-derived powers
  • The Mutates
  • A pterosaur glow-up
  • Achmed El-Gibar
  • Street urchins (and the etymology thereof)
  • How to get a t’ieve mentor
  • Style vs. taste
  • The proportional relationship between knife skills and leadership potential
  • Tattoos vs. healing factors

NEXT EPISODE: Sex?


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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276 – Wizard Problems

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Excalibur gets a regular writer again; we judge a book against against its covers; nothing good ever comes from being sexy on Muir Isle; and the soul sword’s real power is cutting through continuity.

X-PLAINED:

  • Stegron
  • Dinosaur powers
  • Excalibur #83-85 (The Soul Sword Trilogy)
  • Warren Ellis on Excalibur
  • Excalibur (more) (again)
  • Bends Sinister and Bend Sinister
  • Outsider days
  • Mail
  • Boundaries
  • Darkoth
  • Gravemoss
  • The Winding Way
  • Shrill
  • A problematic prosthesis
  • Roger Corman’s The Raven
  • A large number of continuity errors
  • Gratuitous dickery
  • An untold tale
  • The semantics of skin removal
  • Possession vs. retrograde amnesia
  • The circle of nostalgia

NEXT EPISODE: Jorts Unlimited!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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275 – End of the Summer

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Professor is too cool for the Phalanx; fatphobia is significantly more dangerous than Fred Dukes; Strong Guy catches a plane; Emma Frost will not let you coast; Jubilee says goodbye to the X-Men; and it’s probably for the best that we have avoided corporate advertisers.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mr. M
  • Thor: Metal Gods
  • Ship (more) (again)
  • The Phalanx vs. the Borg
  • Several cover homages
  • X-Force #39
  • X-Factor #107
  • Uncanny X-Men #318
  • Prosh
  • The myriad delights of embodiment
  • A complex theory about Leprechauns
  • Benefits of single-issue stories
  • Strong Guy vs. the Blob
  • Strong Guy vs. Gravity
  • Strong Guy vs. an airplane
  • Strong Guy vs. biology
  • Several explosions
  • The kids of Generation X
  • Deluxe-format comics
  • The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning
  • Goodbyes
  • Dazzler’s relative immortality
  • Jay’s X-Men Happy Meal Toy wish list
  • How to make a page-accurate Warlock toy

NEXT EPISODE: The Soul Sword Trilogy


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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274 – The Red Shoe Prophecies (feat. Chris Eddleman)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Chris Eddleman joins us for a close look at House of X and Powers of X; Doug Ramsey is highly relevant; resurrection is problematic in a universe with a documented afterlife; there is no reasonable in-continuity justification for the lack of trans Marvel characters; and your OT3 is canon.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Phalanx (more) (again) (retconned)
  • House of X
  • Powers of X
  • Krakoa (more) (again) (retconned)
  • Moira MacTaggert (retconned)
  • Bar Sinister
  • Sinister Secrets
  • Portentous red shoes
  • The Man-Machine Ascendancy
  • Chimeras
  • North
  • Cardinal
  • Rasputin
  • Homo Novissima
  • Transhumanism in the Marvel Universe
  • The metaphysics of Krakoan resurrection
  • The Five
  • The true nature of Goldballs’ powers
  • Trans representation and its absence
  • Retroactive foreshadowing

NEXT EPISODE: Still not quite Generation X


CORRECTION: The story Jay referred to as “Everything Burns” is in fact titled “Time Runs Out,” although a good many things do burn over its course.


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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