Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

458 – Quantum Stuff

In which Tommy Lee Edwards draws a damned fine everything; death gods get taken a lot less seriously when their avatars are seagulls; warm and cool colors get in a fight; Domino has no time for this bullshit; Cable and Domino wait ’til the kids are asleep; Sunspot’s alibi is too complicated; X-Force forges a pouches path; Engines are nothing but trouble; and Ry’lor the Destroyer puts himself in time out.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Norse Pantheon of 2099
  • X-Force #91-93
  • One of the best X-covers ever
  • Our favorite Siryn story
  • Jesse Aaronson, penitent chef
  • Sean Cassidy, penitent dad
  • A realistically anticlimactic breakup
  • Cassidy/Rourke history
  • Bring Your Daughter to Crimes Day
  • Napoleon Sanders
  • An epistolary montage
  • The dusty pink word balloons of Tom Waits
  • A missed Manos-portunity
  • The Chaos Engine
  • Halloween Jack
  • Domino’s varied musical tastes
  • Ry’lor the Destroyer
  • Kodo the Komodo
  • Bedlam’s extremely situational powers
  • Astarte and Electryon
  • Horniness as a superpower
  • The Temple of the Dying Sun
  • Cable & Corsair’s (lack of) history
  • Hope, Hope, Hope, Hope, Hope, and Hope

NEXT EPISODE: Miles and guest host Devin talk X-Patrol, 1996’s X-Force / Doom Patrol mash-up!


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457 – Stinking at the Moon

In which the theme is too many inkers; Cecilia Reyes has no patience for your bullshit; Genosha’s going to be just fine (it’s not); we would watch a supercut of Fabian Cortez getting punched; we bid an abrupt farewell to Gaia; and comics are exhausting, yet captivating.

X-PLAINED:

  • Dazzler’s murder trial
  • X-Men Unlimited #24
  • The past and future of X-Men Unlimited
  • Doctor Cecilia Reyes
  • Ghost Pirate Cap’n Bloodscream
  • Wolverine and friends
  • Pushing your kid out of a plane as a basic first aid skill
  • Banter
  • The Silver Samurai (Keniuchio Harada)
  • Sunfire and the Big Hero Six
  • Projectile-based wordplay
  • Irene Adler, spoiler machine
  • Genosha (again)
  • The Cabinet of Doctor Lensherr
  • Magneto’s panties
  • Stupid metaphors
  • Football stars and their football cars
  • Magneto’s nuanced and baby-filled past
  • Generation X #51
  • Hunter & Tristan Brawn
  • Helicopter grandparents
  • Artie & Leech, perpetual moppets
  • Emma Frost, forever traumatized
  • Generation X’s new costumes
  • Gaia as the Bird Boy of Generation X
  • Peach Momoko’s Ultimate Armor
  • Sauron and the Lizard’s agendas and fashion
  • Comic book collecting preferences

NEXT EPISODE: Some damned fine X-Force.


Want to hire J&MXPtXM producer Matt Hunter to produce your podcast? Email him!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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456 – Until/Unless

In which there’s nothing inherently wrong with monster-of-the-week; Marrow’s makeover extends to her font; Red Skull gets a Power Glove; Marvel sets up a slate of spinoffs; and you should hire Matt Hunter to produce your podcast!

X-PLAINED:

  • What Danger’s been up to lately
  • Uncanny X-Men #371
  • X-Men #91
  • X-Men Annual 1999
  • Crossover cover design
  • Skrullverine
  • Machine Man
  • Dethlok vs. Dethklok
  • Jack Truman (Agent 18) (to some extent)
  • A nice dress
  • An awkward reunion
  • Gambit as a mentor
  • Billy G.
  • A daring but silly rescue
  • Several upcoming series
  • Marrow’s bone bikini and/or pubes
  • Whether Rogue can absorb animals

NEXT EPISODE: Cecilia Reyes returns from retirement!


Want to hire J&MXPtXM producer Matt Hunter to produce your podcast? Email him!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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455 – Space, Geeks, and Galactus

In which Roadhouse is basically a Wolverine story; Spider-Man does crimes; space names are derivative; there are lots of good reasons to yell at Professor Xavier; the X-Men do Doctor Who; Galactus is not interested in your puny human feelings; Marrow gets a new look; the Skrulls need a crash course in UI; and we overthink bones.

X-PLAINED:

  • The time the Skrulls did “A Piece of the Action”
  • The trouble with benevolent dictatorships
  • X-Men #89-90
  • Uncanny X-Men #370
  • A New York City that is not in fact New York City
  • “Spider-Man”
  • A ruse
  • Faces
  • Skrull problems
  • Mar-Vell
  • Adam Warlock
  • Sass vs. joviality
  • Skrull Cop City
  • Disguises
  • Nova (Frankie Raye)
  • How Galactus eats planets
  • Condiments
  • Several melees
  • Bone pubes
  • Skrull UI
  • Whether Moopsy could drink Wolverine’s bones
  • X-Musicals

NEXT EPISODE: The return of Douglock!


The Roald Dahl short story whose title Jay couldn’t recall is “Beware of the Dog.”


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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454 – X-Men ’97, Part 2

SPOILER WARNING: ALL OF THEM, NONSTOP

In which Barry Windsor-Smith is too sexy for television; we know what happens when unstable molecules get struck by lightning; X-Men gets political and does it spectacularly; this Captain America would not sew the cape; Magneto continues to throw things into space; and they kissed and we missed it.

X-PLAINED:

  • Fabian Cortez’s name
  • X-Men ’97 episodes 6-10
  • Lifedeath I & II: a surprising adaptation
  • Varying levels of going in blind
  • A somewhat different and possibly better Forge
  • The Adversary vs. the Owl Queen
  • Stormiest and least-Stormy costumes
  • Professor Charles Xavier, Official Space Boyfriend
  • Colonialism vs. Identity
  • Delayed catharsis
  • The narrative power of altered opening credits
  • What makes allyship effective (and not)
  • Justified mutant anger
  • The worst version of Nina DaCosta
  • What makes Prime Sentinels scary
  • Summers family feels
  • The best damned fight scenes out there
  • Bastion, robo-avatar of conservative white patriarchy
  • Simultaneous crossovers
  • A psychic gay bar
  • A last boss arena
  • Acolyte equivalencies
  • Phoenix Ex Machina
  • Crying
  • Whether Magneto was right
  • Apoca-futures and Apoca-pasts
  • A bulletin board and our hopes for its contents
  • Soft Serve
  • Kitty Pryde’s coffee shop AU
  • X-Men ’97 as the perfect gateway

NEXT EPISODE: Skrulls!


LINKS AND FURTHER READING:


No visual companion this week!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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453 – X-Men ’97, Part 1

SPOILER WARNING: ALL OF THEM, NONSTOP

In which we put the comics on hold to take a look at X-Men ’97; it is still always Inferno in here; Wolverine is best used sparingly; a Marvel show finally embraces politics; Wolverine is best in small doses; Madeylne Pryor still always deserves better; Jubilee grows up; and we are all in on this series.

X-PLAINED:

  • “Beyond Good and Evil”
  • X-Men: The Animated Series and our respective feelings about it
  • X-Men ’97, episodes 1-5
  • Watching X-Men ’97 with and without context
  • Making animated Cyclops work
  • The Magneto’s-hair-length morality index
  • Politics
  • Voices
  • Adaptation pacing
  • Agency
  • Abcissa
  • Foreshadowing
  • Time compression
  • Horniest Rogue
  • Death in cartoons
  • A metaphor
  • Nonbinary identity in 1997
  • Character evolution

NEXT EPISODE: Episodes 6-10


No visual companion this week!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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452 – Hot Nothing

In which Magneto is not full of mirth; nobody real or fictional likes Fabian Cortez; when you’re a speedster, every problem is a metaphorical nail; The Zealot makes some valid points; and when Quicksilver declares himself your conscience, it’s time to examine your life.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Magneto got his powers back
  • Morally ambiguous hair
  • Genosha (more) (again)
  • Magneto Rex #1-3
  • Magneto vs. Conan
  • Trish Tilby
  • Omniscient narrative condemnation
  • Magneto’s true archfoe
  • Magistrates (more) (again)
  • Mutates (more) (again)
  • Dr. Alda Huxley
  • Phillip Moreau (more) (again)
  • Jenny Ransome (more) (again)
  • Pipeline (Cormac Grimshaw)
  • Teleportational nudity
  • The Zealot
  • Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
  • Amelia Voght (more) (again)
  • Several of Magneto’s on-again-off-again children
  • The Bastille (but not that one)
  • Mutant numbering
  • When to use full frontal nudity in your comic
  • The X-books we’re not covering
  • The Amulet of Right vs the Sword of Might

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men ’97!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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451 – Meanwhile in Another Dimension

In which we remain fascinated by Magneto’s robot butler; murder is Logan’s love language; the Juggernaut punches a hole in reality; Professor Xavier makes it weird; and Storm lectures several gods.

X-PLAINED:

  • Silly mutant powers
  • Uncanny X-Men #368-369
  • X-Men #88
  • Alan Davis’s X-Men run
  • Magneto’s robot butler
  • Joseph’s funeral
  • Nun-sense
  • A voyage to another dimension
  • Eyebrow power
  • Ejulp
  • The Trion
  • The other Gem of Cyttorak that’s like the first one but somehow worse
  • Several comas
  • Juggernaut vs. Juggernaut
  • Evil, kind of
  • Vacationing with X-Men characters
  • Illyana Rasputin and Rachel Summers

NEXT EPISODE: Magneto Rex


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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450 – Live at the Clinton Street Theater

In which we celebrate our tenth anniversary by X-Plaining what may be the most reviled X-arc; you should not try this at home; Mystique is so much better than this story; Azazel is a really boring devil; Nightcrawler should probably be missing a hand; the Xavier School definitely does not have an HR department; and we would prefer that you not pee on Iceman.

X-PLAINED:

  • Nightcrawler’s (most recent) parentage
  • Uncanny X-Men #428-434
  • X-Men Blue: Origins #1
  • The X-Men, like, in general
  • Nightcrawler (Kurt Wagner)
  • Some narrative choices
  • Mystique
  • Baron Christian Wagner
  • Marvel Europe
  • Azazel
  • Church sex
  • Nightstreaker
  • Isla des Demonas
  • Foibles of Warren Kenneth Worthington III
  • Annie and Carter Ghazikhanian
  • Abyss
  • Kiwi Black
  • The Cheyarafim and Neyaphem
  • Bad times with psychic therapy
  • Post-traumatic supervillainy
  • Uncool Hell
  • A miracle of magnetism
  • The only cool thing in Uncool Hell
  • A very elegant retcon
  • X-Muppets
  • Characters who deserve more page space
  • Miles’s favorite X-Person
  • What the Worthington Corporation does
  • A character who could reasonably be Azazel’s kid

NEXT EPISODE: Back to X-business as usual!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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449 – Dressing the X-Men, with Russell Dauterman

In which artist Russell Dauterman joins us to discuss super-powered costume design!

X-PLAINED:

  • Why it’s important to get a professional to design your superhero costume
  • Why Miles doesn’t trust the government
  • Russell’s history at Marvel
  • Designing for the Hellfire Gala
  • Mutant fashion
  • The word “fashionize”
  • Iconic looks
  • Modernizing superhero costumes
  • Powers vs. personality
  • Punk goddess Storm
  • Designing for drawability
  • Magic hair
  • Russell’s influences
  • Definitive Rogue costumes
  • X-Men ‘97
  • Best X-team costumes
  • Jay’s holy grail cosplay
  • Magic hair, cosplayed
  • Costume retrospectives
  • Where to find Russell online
  • Evil twin trends of the 1990s
  • Fuck You Pink

NEXT EPISODE: Jay & Miles Live at the Clinton Street Theater!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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