Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

365 – A Whole Year of This Nonsense

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which you can now listen to a unique episode of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men every day for a year; Shi’ar tech support leaves something to be desired; Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau does not appear in a story; it’s Deathbird, not Dueprocessbird; Zenn-La gets destroyed a lot; and we shall never speak of this incident again.

X-PLAINED:

  • Where babies come from
  • The Shi’ar (again)
  • Cable/X-Force Annual 1996
  • X-Men Unlimited #13
  • Organs
  • Shi’ar ship names
  • Pulse
  • Unconventional use of the Danger Room
  • Butt-first framing
  • Interplanetary extradition
  • The word “contemplative”
  • Binary (again)
  • More Shi’ar ship names
  • Zenn-La
  • Silver Surfer (Norrin Radd)
  • The Inciters
  • A giant metal space skull
  • Junction, NY
  • A metaphor for America
  • Marie Cavendish
  • Mutants with synthetics-based powers
  • Literary intersections

NEXT EPISODE: Beast!


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364 – Department of Pareidolia

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we lie extensively about how comics schedules work; the Mystery School is clearly a backdoor pitch; the Wisdom family has a lot going on; red dyes fade fast; and we (roughly) calculate the odds of Cyclops having a good day.

X-PLAINED:

  • Marvel’s KISS comics
  • Pryde and Wisdom #1-3
  • Age
  • Cheerful hissing
  • Jardine
  • A serial killer
  • Department F66/The Mystery School
  • Stoats
  • Kill Your Boyfriend
  • Several skeletons
  • Harold Wisdom
  • Serial disambiguation
  • Inconsistent use of inhibitor guns
  • Romany Wisdom
  • A man stone
  • Distinctive hair
  • Some woman who seems important but never gets a name or follow-up
  • John Gideon
  • The Tube
  • The inexplicable evolution of Romany Wisdom
  • How not to end your miniseries
  • Forgotten friendships
  • The relative odds of Cyclops having a good day

NEXT EPISODE: Space Adventures!


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363 – Licked by a Shadow

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which standing in fields looking confused is a way of life; Psylocke gets a new superpower; when you gotta confess you gotta confess; Iceman’s dad stands up for justice; we mourn a Sentinel; and it’s probably a good thing that most companies don’t do mind melds as a team-building exercise.

X-PLAINED:

  • Levels of mutant power
  • Omicron-level mutations
  • Miles’s brief baseball career
  • Uncanny X-Men #338
  • X-Men #58
  • X-Men Annual 1996
  • Archangel’s wings
  • Joseph vs. Holographic Magneto
  • Shadow teleportation
  • The errand theory of confession
  • Graydon Creed (more) (again)
  • “Drake Roberts” and “Samson Guthry”
  • Several ways to memorialize the Mutant Massacre
  • Onslaught, but an anteater
  • A fight
  • Several JJJ cameos
  • X-baseball games
  • A highly atypical Sentinel
  • Several oblique warnings
  • X-Men ‘97
  • Media inspired by the X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Pryde & Wisdom


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362 – Lazy Summer Day

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Chris Bachalo draws excellent critters; Bastion is a terrible boss; everyone fucks in the Danger Room; Jubilee fails a midterm; and humans were the real monsters all along.

X-PLAINED:

  • The worst mutant power
  • Generation X #20-21
  • X-Factor #127
  • Bachalo critters
  • Bastion (more) (again)
  • Daria (but not the one you’re thinking of)
  • Chevy the janitor (again)
  • Mean Cuisine
  • Harker the cat
  • A threatening salad
  • Yet another time-traveling Nate
  • Flirting
  • A movie reference
  • U.S.1 and Baron von Blimp
  • Several ways to fail a midterm
  • “Autism”
  • Miguela Torres
  • Trevor Chase
  • A series of interviews
  • Richard Starkings and Comicraft
  • Destiny’s absence from film

NEXT EPISODE: Baseball!


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361 – The World’s Densest Eagle

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the 1990s were full of miniseries; Mystique and Sabretooth take a sabbatical from X-Factor; Mystique’s powers are wildly inconsistent; we meet a second Cypher; most secret agents are Mystique; and you should never tell Sabretooth about your girlfriend.

X-PLAINED:

  • Sabretooth’s ambitions
  • Sabretooth and Mystique #1-4
  • A Helicarrier heist
  • Hydra
  • AIM
  • The sounds of autopsies
  • How Mystique’s powers work, sometimes, kind of
  • Commander Cypher
  • Technosassins vs. Cyburai
  • Catalyst
  • Complimentary types of awful
  • Caption colors
  • Access
  • Gender dimorphism of monsters
  • The Comics Code Collar
  • Dismember and Corrosion
  • The time Cyclops offered to help Cable steal a spaceship
  • The Black Womb Project

NEXT EPISODE: bits ‘n’ bobs


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360 – Charging Forward

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which history gets rewritten (again); Shatterstar definitely knows how to dance; and everyone gets extremely grumpy about Loeb’s final X-Force arc.

X-PLAINED:

  • What happened to Reverend Craig
  • X-Force (again)
  • The Mojoverse (again)
  • X-Force #59-61
  • Shatterstar vs. Benjamin Russell
  • The Weisman Institute for the Criminally Insane (again)
  • Subtext
  • Help, sort of
  • The dick ship
  • Darth Vader’s penis or lack thereof
  • The difference between Jay and Miles
  • Violently decompressed storytelling
  • Gog and Gog’n’Magog (again)
  • Prior (or possibly future) events in the rebellion
  • Longshot outside his miniseries
  • Longshot and Shatterstar
  • TV Guide
  • Ineffective brainwashing
  • A large number of continuity errors
  • Mojo V
  • Genre hopping
  • A stylistic shift
  • A body swap
  • Benjamin Russell vs. the Leprechauns
  • Personally resonant comics
  • Wolverine’s sense of smell

NEXT EPISODE: Sabretooth & Mystique!


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359 – Meanwhile in Britain

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Excalibur has a lot going on; Margali Szardos is never up to any good; Nightcrawler grows into leadership; we delve into the politics of superheroism; Pete Wisdom earns his keep; Miles catches a Prisoner reference; and we reach the end of Warren Ellis’ Excalibur.

X-PLAINED:

  • John the Skrull
  • Excalibur #100-103
  • The current state of Excalibur
  • Black Air (again)
  • The Hellfire Club (London Branch)
  • Australia
  • Margali Szardos (more)
  • Demonic ethernet
  • Captain Britain’s new-old suit
  • Emma Steed
  • Dune
  • Several fights
  • Combat IT
  • Boolean definitions of madness
  • The Department
  • Laserdisks
  • Patriotism
  • Many doppelgangers
  • Nightcreeper
  • Another reference to Dante’s Inferno

NEXT EPISODE: Some absolute nonsense


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X-TRA: Jay, Miles, and Jonathan Hickman Spoil the Hell out of Inferno

Inferno #4 is out; and, as promised, we’ve got a bonus interview with Jonathan Hickman–unedited this time, so please forgive the audio–going into the gory details of the miniseries and its finale! (Again, spoiler warning–we can’t emphasize this enough–we spoil Inferno, including its ending, real hard. Listen at your own risk.)

358 – Giant-Size Special #10

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Hub & Lisa X-Plain Howard the Duck; Jay & Miles X-Plain Daydreamers; and Jonathan Hickman X-Plains his tenure on the X-line!

X-PLAINED:

  • The many lives of Moira MacTaggert
  • Feral moppets
  • Man-Thing and several characters who closely resemble Man-Thing
  • Howard the Duck
  • At least one Nexus of All Reality
  • Duck sex
  • Daydreamers #1-3
  • Never-Never Narnozbia
  • Tana Nile
  • A shadowy hunter and his ship of empty souls
  • A reasonably good Dr. Seuss riff
  • Duckworld, or an appealing facsimile thereof
  • H.E.R.B.I.E.
  • Jonathan Hickman on X-Men
  • The 7th Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence

(Note: Our interview with Jonathan Hickman contains spoilers for September 2021’s Inferno #1!)

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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357 – The Semiotics of Regret

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Professor X has no time for your sympathy; there are too many people in the bathroom; everything’s more fun with J. Jonah Jameson; psychologists dress better in the 616; the Rainbow Bears have your back; and Onslaught finally, actually, for-real ends.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Logan got his adamanitum back (again)
  • Onslaught (briefly)
  • Uncanny X-Men #337
  • X-Men #57
  • Onslaught Epilogue #1
  • What we wish Onslaught had been
  • The anti-mutant agenda
  • Alarm clocks
  • Ruby quartz storage and cleaning
  • Optic-blast sound effects
  • Googol vs. google
  • Breakfast
  • A familiar cover homage
  • The semiotics of regret
  • Disappearance-montage photos
  • Accountability
  • Polychromatic world-building
  • Prisoner M-13
  • Prisoner M-9 (Nina)
  • The Manite Project
  • The Rainbow Bears
  • Renee Majcomb
  • Getting through Operation Zero Tolerance
  • Our favorite continuity tangles

NEXT EPISODE: GIANT-SIZE WINTER SPECIAL (feat. Jonathan Hickman)


Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

7Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!