Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

385 – Super Whiny Adults Simulator 64

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we make an omission; X-Factor’s concept of “underground” is somewhat unconventional; Trevor Chase turns uncanny moppet; and Strong Guy and Lila Cheney have some very silly space adventures.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Factor #134-135
  • Strong Guy Reborn #1
  • The “deaths” of X-Factor (again)
  • Lady Cop
  • A contextually inappropriate pun
  • The Adversary (more) (again)
  • Why you use an air-gapped system
  • How not to fake your own death
  • Trevor Chase and his mysterious mutant powers
  • Rusty Trail
  • X-Factor X-Ploits
  • A lot of wasted potential
  • The Jorken-Kront war
  • Space stuff
  • Lila Cheney (more) (again)
  • Kreetor
  • Spiff’s Saucers
  • Calvin & Hobbes licensing in the Marvel Universe
  • The Chalker Brothers (briefly) (again)
  • The most useful and fun mutant powers
  • Musicals with Mister Sinister

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Maggott!


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384 – The Banality of Evil

In which it’s hard to be a mutant post-Onslaught; two Chrises make friends; X-Force goes to off-brand Disney World; we are Team Risque; and you can go to the punch dimension but probably shouldn’t stay long.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Men Unlimited #15
  • X-Force #65-66
  • Mutant life post-Onslaught
  • Spinning editorial oversight into story
  • Weasel, Jumbo, and Headcase
  • How not to write the Friends of Humanity
  • The Marvel sex web
  • Thunderbird (John Proudstar)
  • Warpath (James Proudstar)
  • Risque (Gloria Munoz)
  • Clubbing with Risque
  • Wacky World
  • Sledge
  • Dani Moonstar, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.
  • The punch dimension
  • The physics of ice ramps

NEXT EPISODE: Strong Guy wakes up!


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383 – A Dude and His Ninjas

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the Crimson Dawn is secretly a bad Daredevil arc; shadow-based transportation requires careful lighting; Dark Phoenix Saga references will not always do you favors; and Earth is big.

X-PLAINED:

  • Atlan the Dolphin
  • Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1-4
  • What the Crimson Dawn arc should actually be
  • Archangel (more) (again)
  • Psylocke (more) (again)
  • The Crimson Dawn (to what extent it can be explained)
  • Tar, Proctor of the Crimson Dawn (again)
  • Kuragari
  • Aesthetics of the Crimson Dawn
  • Undercloaks
  • How not to deliver a present
  • The worst thing about living in NYC
  • Sooooo much Orientalism
  • One way to put out a fire, I guess
  • “Infiltration”
  • Skeleton storage
  • The Overdrawn at the Memory Bank problem
  • Energy shuriken
  • Soul economics
  • Ninja Turtles on X-teams
  • Which X-Man would win a Pinewood Derby race

NEXT EPISODE: Risque!


NOTE: Jay’s Gollum voice is unfiltered. He can just do that at will, and it’s kind of upsetting.


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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382 – Seven Swords

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Brian Braddock has grown as a person; we remain unimpressed by the Crimson Dawn; Marvel discovers email; seven swords to two people is a pretty good ratio; everyone hates Spiral; and love may or may not save the world.

X-PLAINED:

  • Where Brian Braddock is these days
  • Excalibur #107-110
  • Post-Onslaught fallout
  • Excalibur (more) (again)
  • The difference an inker makes
  • Nigel McWhirter
  • A trip to London
  • Spiral (again)
  • Engineering outfits? I guess?
  • A machine which would be Cerebro
  • Several flashbacks
  • The most meta bike shorts
  • Time-travel safety
  • Forgotten characters who turned out to be secretly evil
  • A character moment that may actually be an art error
  • Shamrock (Molly Fitzgerald)
  • Email
  • The Dragons of the Crimson Dawn
  • A ghost
  • X-folks who knit
  • Best X-guest star moments

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Yet more Crimson Dawn


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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381 – If We Told You, We’d Have to Kill You

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which real life sucks; Havok may or may not be a bad enough dude to rescue mutantkind; X-Factor quits; CD-ROMs were never THAT cool; subtlety is for suckers; Val Cooper hates nothing more than she hates the U.S. government; and Jamie Madrox wants nothing to do with your nonsense.

X-PLAINED:

  • One way to end a wedding
  • X-Factor #130-133
  • Malice (again)
  • A thumb (and the biting thereof)
  • Barnes (and her hair)
  • The relative versatility of plasma
  • The Brotherhood
  • A ruse and/or retcon
  • Lighting design
  • A CD-ROM
  • The time Jay wrote some Captain America comics
  • The last time you’re gonna see these
  • Trevor Chase (more)
  • One thing that might’ve inspired Jamie Madrox’s heel turn
  • The nature of Jamie Madrox’s relative mortality
  • Brand names
  • Many faked deaths
  • Agent Bowser
  • A very fancy haunted house
  • X-Factor’s true calling
  • The X.S.E. (again)
  • Mutant shifts in adaptations
  • ‘Nuff said

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. Crimson Dawn!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

380 – Arbor Day

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which no one wants to be compared to Chris Bachalo; it’s always a holiday for Generation X; you may already be a Guthrie; M is a fascinating mystery; and Black Tom Cassidy (finally) makes his move.

X-PLAINED:

  • What Black Tom Cassidy is up to these days
  • Generation X #23-25
  • Generation X (again)
  • Seasons
  • Visual representations of Banshee’s powers
  • Several holidays
  • The Blue Ridge Mountains
  • A slumber party
  • Emplate (somewhat)
  • Bad times with Black Tom Cassidy
  • The apparent death of Emma Frost
  • What we do and don’t cover when
  • Leech on Krakoa

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor Quits


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

 

379 – Stardate: Today

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which what happens in space stays in space; a horse is imperiled; Joseph does some dubious science; Gladiator’s name is absolutely not Gary; everybody gets new costumes; and we learn where babies come from.

X-PLAINED:

  • Shi’ar taxonomy, sort of
  • The Shi’ar (again)
  • The Phalanx (again)
  • Uncanny X-Men #341-344
  • A whole bunch of callbacks to X-Men #98
  • A carriage ride
  • The Z’noxx chamber (again)
  • One way to have safer sex
  • FAO Schwarz
  • The Shi’ar Imerial Guard (again)
  • Diplomacy, kind of
  • Space outfits
  • Trademarks
  • Pure Phalanx
  • Dinosaur Kingdom 2
  • Where Shi’ar babies come from
  • Flirting
  • The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl vs. Isca the Unbeaten
  • Characters we would happily voice if invited to do so

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X vs. Black Tom Cassidy!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

378 – The Unstoppable Huggernaut

In which our favorite(?) fear lord returns; Sirocco Sprawl is an extremely unpleasant fictional town; the Juggernaut is not a subtle man; we really need to get our hands on the Generation X novels; Tarot gets a logo font; and Banshee is menaced by spectral leprechauns.

X-PLAINED

  • Several Juggernauts
  • Soap Operas
  • D’Spayre (again)
  • D’Spayre vs. Nightmare
  • Juggernaut #1
  • Generation X Annual 1997
  • Magical pants
  • Juggernaut (Cain Marko) and what he’s been up to lately
  • Incidental reptiles
  • Sirocco Sprawl, NM
  • Marvin T. Rocksalt
  • A spree of cartoonish destruction
  • Spite (again)
  • Black Tom Cassidy (again)
  • A really cool skeleton
  • Generation X novels
  • Several episodes we should probably do someday
  • A very poorly-drawn butt
  • The Hellions (more) (again)
  • One way to put out a fire
  • Garden Plots with Skeletor
  • Several nightmare scenarios
  • Alex Summers’s adoptive family
  • What would happen if Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau met Cameron Hodge

NEXT EPISODE: Space!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!