Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 397 – Mürdr at IKEA

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Daydreamers this is not. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
Chop Chop’s weapon is a machete, Yuri’s weapon is his fist, and artist Frank Teran’s weapon is the color black. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
I wish Wild Child and Bob Hoskins always looked like this. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
Sabretooth and Wild Child may look similar in close-up, but there’s never a question of who’s who. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
When less detail equals more horror. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR GIVING YOUR BAR THAT NAME (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
Yes! Use more black, Frank Teran! More! (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
Scrrfffle. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
Wild Child is shadowed like a villain… until he isn’t. (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
What are the odds?! (Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1)
That guy’s mustache is no match for Psychic Paper. (X-Factor #136)
The iPhone 14 Pro’s cameras ain’t got nothin’ on these. (X-Factor #136)
Have you ever noticed that RAD and HAM have the same number of letters? (X-Factor #136)
WAT (X-Factor #136)
Jeff Matsuda stole some of Frank Teran’s black and is using it well. (X-Factor #136)
Put that towel down! You know you don’t sweat! (X-Factor #136)
“Huh?” is right. (X-Factor #136)
This seems way less efficient than leaving a voicemail. (X-Factor #136)
I HAVE QUESTIONS (X-Factor #137)
Best exes. (X-Factor #137)
It’s a little thing, but I like the symbolism of the seemingly arbitrary background shapes. (X-Factor #137)
It’s a credit to Mystique that she can be legitimately scary while wearing that. (X-Factor #137)
Again with the implied gore. (X-Factor #137)
Of course, honey. Of course. (X-Factor #137)
NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men return from space!

As Mentioned in Episode 396 – Giant-Size Special #11

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Illyana Rasputin knows what you did. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #1)
Bernard Chang channels Bob McLeod. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #1)
Bernard Chang channels Paul Smith. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #1)
“Well, you would have, but you left him at the altar and Rogue and Gambit took your spot…” (New Mutants: Truth or Death #1)
I’ve missed these kids. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #1)
Well, Monet is actually two kids, and… (New Mutants: Truth or Death #1)
Wolfsbane x-plains smooching. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #1)
And that jerk seagull doesn’t even care. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #1)
Basically, you’re all going to end up either awesome, dead, or ignored by most writers. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #2)
“Did you bring me a present, Uncle Mikhail?” (New Mutants: Truth or Death #2)
How to make a long conversation visually compelling, part one. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #2)
Bernard Chang channels Bill Sienkiewicz. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #2)
It’s easy to forget how much more control of her powers Rahne gained over a decade of comics. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #2)
Karma: even scarier than Magik. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #2)
Aww kid (New Mutants: Truth or Death #2)
Look at all that science! (New Mutants: Truth or Death #3)
If this was Mystique instead of Karma, she’d turn into an eagle right after saying that. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #3)
Now that is a title page. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #3)
When Best Teenagers become Best Young Adults. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #3)
How to make a long conversation visually compelling, part two. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #3)
It’s cool, Doug, you’ll come back to life and marry a large wife. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #3)
Aww hell yeah (New Mutants: Truth or Death #3)
Poor counterpart-less Magma and Karma look so bored. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #3)
Pure, uncut nostalgia. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #3)
NEXT EPISODE: Sabretooth betrays an X-team! Again!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

As Mentioned in Episode 395 – Boxer Briefs of Humanity

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
“Weirdest disco ball I’ve ever seen, Sarge, and I used to hang out at that evil disco Dazzler used to play at.” (Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998)
Maybe this is why the X-Men refuse to use the phone. (Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998)
Shades of Weapon X. (Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998)
Jeez Nathan just ring the freakin’ doorbell (Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998)
Rose Gilberti, you were too good for this world. (Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998)
World 1-4 (Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998)
Dun duh dun duh dun, Inspector Aaron (Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998)
Cable’s psychic link x-plains Machine Man (Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998)
Look, I know the IT department has gotten messy over the course of the pandemic, you don’t have to rub it in (Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998)
EWWW (Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998)
Aww shit we’ve wandered into a TED Talk (Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998)
Sometimes I wish PowerPoint had never been invented (Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998)
And sometimes, as a joke, the Siege Perilous will transform a robot into a naked man with a goatee. (Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998)
Attacked by exposition (Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998)
Go-Go Gadget Free Will! (Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998)
EWWW NOW HE’S DOING IT TOO (Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998)
NEXT TIME: The Old New Mutants meet the New New Mutants

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As Mentioned in Episode 394 – We All Have to Go Sometime

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
It’s the OZT broadcast that keeps on giving! (X-Men #66)
Cecilia Reyes, reluctant hero. (X-Men #66)
I really thought this was a callback to a bit of Iceman’s Silver Age origin story, but it is not. (X-Men #66)
Here for the meme. (X-Men #66)
Sabra, puncher of cars, owner of the world’s most durable bra. (X-Men #67)
Speaking of callbacks. (X-Men #68)
I know that Marrow is not actually supposed to be kicking herself in the face here, but I can’t see it any other way. (X-Men #68)
Can you imagine a more awkward person to get stuck in a bathroom conversation with than Henry Peter Gyrich? (X-Men #68)
Again, here for your Internet use. (X-Men #68)
Sabra’s costume is fairly cool. (X-Men #68)
HOW DOES SHE SAY THAT MUCH WHILE JUMPING OUT OF THE WATER DOLPHIN-STYLE? (X-Men #69)
And that’s that, sort of. (X-Men #69)
NEXT EPISODE: Bastion and his fleshy appendages!

LINKS & FURTHER LIFE LESSONS:

As Mentioned in Episode 393 – Camping With Uncle Mustang

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Aw, man. (Wolverine #115)
Go, Jubilee! (Wolverine #115)
It never really gets old. (Wolverine #115)
Five X-Men in an elevator. (Wolverine #115)
Meet Mustang! (Wolverine #116)
“Hey. Hey. Wake up. Hey.” (Wolverine #116)
Aw, Mustang, no. (Wolverine #116)
Definitely the creepiest version of the Prime Sentinels. (Wolverine #117)
Dr. Whatever-his-name-is and his fancy mad-science lab. (Wolverine #117)
Been a (traumatic) while. (Wolverine #117)
The inevitable finally occurs. (Wolverine #117)
NEXT EPISODE: The Mostly New and Different X-Men!

As Mentioned in Episode 392 – The Mullet of Leadership

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Venice Beach. (Generation X #29)
Sunglasses shopping with Husk and M. (Generation X #29)
Disguises! (Generation X #29)
The Sugar Bombs have to be a Calvin and Hobbes nod, right? (Generation X #29)
This kid, man. (Generation X #29)
Does anyone know who these three are supposed to be? (Generation X #29)
Still cool, but not as cool as when they were bugs. (Generation X #29)
Emma, no! (Generation X #30)
Bachalo’s Prime Sentinels are pretty fun. (Generation X #31)
This kid was like sixteen two issues ago. (Generation X #31)
Wheeee! (Generation X #31)
FINALLY! (Generation X #31)
He kind of deserves it, though. (Uncanny X-Men #346)
You tell ‘im, JJJ! (Uncanny X-Men #346)
NEXT EPISODE: Camping trip!

As Mentioned in Episode 391 – Mansion of Theseus

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
THE SIEGE OF THE VAPOR ANTS! THE SIEGE OF THE VAPOR ANTS! (Cable #45)
How has nobody died in the danger room?! (I mean, yet. But still.) (Cable #46)
I wish they’d made the bedrooms look a little more lived-in, but it’s still an effective sequence. (Cable #46)
Cable: Mole Man. (Cable #46)
Look at this nonsense. (Cable #46)
That’s… that’s a whooooole lotta captions, there. (Cable #47)
And a whole lotta beer. (Cable #47)
Meanwhile in X-Man… (X-Man #30)
This fuckin’ urchin, man. (X-Man #30)
Nate “It’s always the ’90s somewhere” Grey. (X-Man #30)
It’s easy to forget that even in the Marvel Universe, not everyone would take flight for granted. (X-Man #30)
NEXT WEEK: HAWK TALK
NEXT EPISODE: Generation X!

 

As Mentioned in Episode 390 – Corners and Conspiracies

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
X-Force X-Plains Dani Moonstar. (X-Force #67)
Cable is probably the nice kind of babysitter who lets you stay up past your bedtime and watch scary movies. (X-Force #67)
Well, shit. (X-Force #67)
Fashion for the cutting-edge interdimensional explorer. (X-Force #68)
Domino over the years, maybe. (X-Force #68)
To our absolute shock, he survives. (X-Force #69)
Domino, transformed. See what we mean about the body language? (X-Force #69)
Please enjoy G.W. Bridge’s heart pajamas. (X-Force #69)
The lava lamp dimension. (X-Force #69)
Oh. THAT guy. (X-Force #69)
A familiar cover. (X-Force #70)
Man, fuck you, Ozymandias. (X-Force #70)
NEXT EPISODE: Nathans all over the place!

And here are some of the ridiculous creatures Jay met at the Sheep and Wool Festival:

 

As Mentioned in Episode 389 – Wreck Gotta Recognize

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Bad times on the high seas. (Generation X #26)
This is actually a callback to a panel from waaaaaaay back in the Bronze Age! (Generation X #26)
OZT didn’t so much shave Jubilee’s head as give her a sweet flattop. (Generation X #26)
Throes of Weapon X. (Generation X #27)
Damn, Bachalo. (Generation X #27)
A lot of X-kids have a specific narrative moment when they realize Cyclops is a person. (Generation X #27)
Origins of Bastion. (Generation X #27)
Aw, these guys! (Generation X #27)
ONE. GIANT. PANCAKE. (Generation X #27)
Our narrator. (Generation X #28)
This fucking guy. (Generation X #28)
Hicks does Cockrum. (Generation X #28)
A good hug. (Generation X #28)
Daria is Not Like Other Girls. (Generation X #28)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Force!

As Mentioned in Episode 387 – You’ve Got Vid-Mail

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Colossus is a good friend and will call you on your bullshit. (Excalibur #111)
Rory Campbell, now with two legs and excessive foreshortening. (Excalibur #111)
I hate this party. (Excalibur #111)
Daaaaaamn, Kurt. (Excalibur #111)
Welcome to the CITADEL OF SCIENCE! (Excalibur #112)
Now we are bros. (Excalibur #113)
Meet the Knights of Wundagore! They are delightful. (Excalibur #113)
NEVER LET THIS MAN BABYSIT YOUR CHILD (Excalibur #113)
Doug, no. Letterer, NO. (Excalibur #112)
Moira’s hair got LONG. (Excalibur #113)
AW! (Excalibur #113)
They just don’t make dens of sin and iniquity like they used to. (Excalibur #112)
Je suis un chic type / Qui joue la guitare. (Excalibur #113)
Shades of Transmetropolitan.(Excalibur #113)
NEXT EPISODE: Shang-Chi!

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