Blog Posts – Page 71 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Be prepared.

X-Men #141, the first issue of “Days of Future Past,” has one of the most frequently referenced covers in all of X-Men. (Fun fact: We almost went with this one for the podcast cover art.)

For once, they’re not kidding.

Gravestone standards have slipped somewhat in this future.

The All-Old, Mostly-Not-That-Different X-Men of “Days of Future Past.”

Kitty Pryde vs. the Danger Room.

Kate Pryde vs. time travel.

Kate Pryde X-Plains the future.

Why would you dress like this for a congressional hearing, Angel? What is WRONG with you?

The All-New, Mostly-Different Brotherhood of Evil Mutants!

Rick Redfern and Joan Caucus of Doonesbury cameo in X-Men #142, to our eternal delight.

Splinter timelines are a bitch.

Even Excalibur–the team built around Multiverse hijinks–can’t quite figure out how this stuff works.

Earth 200500: definitely the best timeline.

We generally like Emma Frost, but she is so boring in X-Men: First Class that we literally forgot she was in the movie.

NOT A WOLF.

Next week: Greg Rucka, Cyclops, and the Starjammers!

You sent us art!

May 16, 2014 Jay Leave a comment

You know this totally makes our week, right? You are the best.

David Wynne proposes this distinct improvement to Havok’s headwear:

And over on Tumblr, wolverfail has us blushing furiously with our first-ever fan art of the X-Perts, dressed up as our favorite X-Men to battle the greatest imaginary villain of the Silver Age:

On Episode 5 – The Retcon that Walks Like a Man, we met Gabriel Summers, and did a very quick drive-by introduction to the Summers family and their really depressing space adventures. Because this shit is complicated, Rachel,* the resident Summers Family Continuity expert, has put together a brief visual guide to Gabriel’s backstory. Click through for the origin of the third and worst Summers Brother:

Meet Scott and Alex Summers! They’re brothers. Their parents have just pushed them out of a burning airplane. Scott and Alex are going to crash in a minute and then have awful childhoods, but all you really need to know for now is that they’re going to become X-Men when they grow up.

Meet Mister Sinister! He’s a creepy, creepy man who knows even more about the Summers family than Rachel does (and that’s a lot). In 1993, Mister Sinister let slip that Scott and Alex might have a third brother, and for over a decade, pretty much every orphan in the Marvel Universe had “probably a Summers brother” stuck on to the end of their official bio.

But in 2005, X-Men: Deadly Genesis came around. Deadly Genesis was a straight-up retcon of 1975’s Giant-Size X-Men #1. It also—finally—resolved the question of the third Summers brother.

Meet Christopher and Katherine Summers! They’re Scott and Alex’s parents. They’ve just thrown Scott and Alex out of a burning airplane, then gotten abducted by aliens. This part of the story has been X-canon since the ’70s—but what Deadly Genesis reveals is that Katherine is pregnant. Christopher gets sent off to the slave pens, and Katherine ends up a Comics Code-compliant-analogue-to-concubine of the evil space emperor. Christopher breaks out and tries to free her, but he’s caught, and Katherine—and apparently her now-nearly-to-term fetus—are killed. (Christopher later becomes a space pirate named Corsair, which is awesome but irrelevant to this particular story.)

Meet Fetus Summers, who turns out to be viable after all! He gets rapid-aged by means of Fancy Space Science, named Gabriel, and sent to be a slave of the Shi’ar’s representative on Earth. Later, his powers manifest and he kills the only person who was ever nice to him, then escapes into the sewers with nothing but his favorite book of Roman myths and a case of dramatically expedient amnesia.

Gabriel gets picked up by Dr. Moira MacTaggert—Professor X’s ex—and becomes one of her group of teen mutants in training, under the code name Kid Vulcan. X consults—and, in the process, pieces together Gabriel’s history but doesn’t tell anyone, in keeping with a long tradition of lying to Scott about the existence of his living relatives. Professor X is a dick.

To confirm his theory, X brings Scott out to train with Gabriel for a day—but still doesn’t tell either of them that they might be brothers. (Gabriel’s powers, incidentally, have to do with energy manipulation and redirection, which his how he can do that with Scott’s eye beams.)

When the X-Men are all captured on Krakoa (the Island That Walks Like a Man!), X convinces Moira’s kids to go rescue them. Immediately before they leave, he tells Gabriel that Scott and Alex are his brothers. The new kids rescue Scott, and Gabriel tells him that they’re brothers. Scott’s super beat up and his powers are broken, so the new kids leave him and go to rescue the rest of the captive X-Men—but instead, they all get killed.

Scott returns to the X-mansion, understandably distraught. X decides the most expedient course of action is to totally wipe Gabriel out of Scott’s memory. Did I mention that Professor X is a dick? Professor X is a dick. When the new X-Men return to Krakoa to rescue the original team, he continues to mess with their perceptions to support this version of events.

What X doesn’t know is that Gabriel and his teammate Darwin are actually still alive, so when the X-Men launch Krakoa into orbit, Gabriel and Darwin go with it. They get stuck in stasis for years, in space. OOPS.

Later, Gabriel wakes up pissed, comes back to earth, kills Banshee, kidnaps Scott and Scott’s alternate-timeline-future-daughter (I know, I know. Just run with it.), and forces Professor X to show them what actually happened. Darwin—still in stasis inside Gabriel—is extracted and revived, Gabriel flies off to fight an evil space empire, and absolutely no one lives happily ever after. X-Men!

*Edidin, not Summers or Grey.

As Mentioned on Episode 5 – The Retcon That Walks Like a Man

May 11, 2014 Jay 12 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

Giant-Size X-Men #1. Prepare for forty years of riffs on this cover.

The best-dressed mob in Germany.

And THAT’S how you punch a tractor.

“Oh, y’know. Fight crime, see the world, get your memory rewritten every few weeks, maybe go on a really fucked up date with Dracula…”

When Xavier finds him, Thunderbird is literally wrestling a buffalo to death.

Sunfire’s first appearance, in X-Men #64.

Most of the New & Different X-Men get a full page or two to join the team. Banshee? Two panels. He’s just that chill.

“Think you can just walk away, Wolverine? We’ll come after you with our deadliest weapon yet: Alpha Flight crossovers!”

Wow. You… certainly made some choices there, Professor.

Sunfire is absolutely delightful.

At this point, I’m pretty sure he’s just messing with them for fun.

This is the second of three times Sunfire calls Nightcrawler “Misfit” on one page–which is actually a pretty welcome break from the X-Men referring to each other exclusively by ethnic epithets. Len Wein, DON’T DO THAT.

This jerk.

This is pretty much the platonic ideal of an X-Men fight scene: teamwork, cool powers, and narration busting Kool-Aid-Man-style through the fourth wall.

Fun fact: Polaris will later go on to get an advanced degree in geophysics.

“You know… stuff?”

We see what you did, there.

Moira MacTaggert has opinions about retcons.

Introducing: The Worst Summers Brother

“Hey, kids, want to be superheroes?”

It’s worth noting that Moira’s team’s emergency psychic training regimen includes a Hostess Fruit Pie ad callback.

They are so doomed.

It’s almost like you live with a telepath who messes with people’s memories all the time.

Wait, what? But that’s not how it…

…oh. That explains some things.

Damn, X. That’s cold.

Professor X: Master of the retcon, worst surrogate parent ever.

Sorry ’bout that, guys.

Then Gabriel goes and punches an empire to death.

Sunfire Has Questions! Do You?

May 9, 2014 Jay 6 comments

This week, we’ll be jumping into Giant-Size X-Men #1! Post your questions in the comments here, drop ’em in our Tumblr askbox, or tweet ’em at @RaeBeta with the hashtag #xplainthexmen!

As Mentioned on Episode 4 – American History X-Men

May 4, 2014 Jay 4 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

The Steve Rude covers are the hands-down best part of X-Men: Children of the Atom.

Seriously. This is off the rails. Steve Rude, man.

X-Men: Children of the Atom really, really, really wants to be the Dark Knight Returns of X-Men. It’s not.

X-Men: Children of the Atom tries so hard to make Fred Duncan a noir protagonist. (Hint: nope.)

Bear in mind that Children of the Atom came out in 1999, and is nominally set in the same year.

Oh, hi, guys. (Children of the Atom)

Charles Xavier: the worst ever, forever. (Children of the Atom)

I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU HIRED HITLER! (Children of the Atom)

After the Rave-Up, they’re going to go do some crimes, like go get sushi and not pay. (Children of the Atom)

Deep stealth Hank McCoy. (Children of the Atom)

Hank dabbles briefly in victim blaming. (Children of the Atom)

Jack “Tricky Dick” Winters. (Children of the Atom)

Well, yes–that’s sort of the problem. (Children of the Atom)

Magneto chews the scenery and regurgitates it into your brain like you are a baby bird of villainy and he is your mother and I think this metaphor kind of got away from me. (Children of the Atom)

Okay, that’s pretty cool: the opening narration of X-Men #1 closes Children of the Atom.

X-Men: First Class, but not THAT X-Men First Class.

Take THAT, Silver-Age gender politics! (X-Men: First Class)

Even the least creepy version of Professor X is still pretty creepy. (X-Men: First Class)

Aw, these dudes. (X-Men: First Class)

Cyclops #1–a one-shot that’s part of the First Class continuity, in which Cyclops actually has a good day.

For more fun, low-angst X-Men in the spirit of First Class, we recommend the hell out of this X-Men / Power Pack miniseries.

How much do we love X-Men: Season One? SO MUCH.

Jean Grey: Now available with a point of view and distinct personality! (X-Men: Season One)

We also appreciate that X-Men: Season One understands the importance of X-Plaining the X-Men.

This comic book, y’all. (X-Men: Season One)

Iceman: chronically under-appreciated, chronically awesome. X-Men: Season One

Most of all, X-Men: Season One is about a bunch of screwed up teenagers figuring out how to be a team. It’s a really neat book.

No one draws shifty faces like Jamie McKelvie. (X-Men: Season One)

Bobby invents Dance Pants in 2019. Don’t tell him. He needs to stumble on it himself.

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men t-shirts: Now available! (Stickers, too.)

We Are Comics is a campaign to show—and celebrate—the faces of our community, our industry, and our culture; to promote the visibility of marginalized members of our population; and to stand in solidarity against harassment and abuse. See our full post here.

Next week on Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men!

Links and further reading:

The X-Axis Silver Age X-Men Index (archived)

Marvels

X-Men: Children of the Atom

We Are Comics

May 4, 2014 Jay Leave a comment

We are Miles Stokes and Rachel Edidin, and we are comics. We’re industry professionals and long-term fans; and we host the podcast Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men.

Almost 19 years ago, in junior high, we tentatively made friends through the language of borrowed books and the common belief that the stories we care passionately about are only made richer by sharing them. We were both alienated, screwed-up kids who looked at comics and found points of identification, sources of hope–and each other. Decades later, we still do.

We believe that comics are for everyone. And we want to see an industry, community, and critical media that reflects that value.

(We Are Comics is a campaign to show—and celebrate—the faces of our community, our industry, and our culture; to promote the visibility of marginalized members of our population; and to stand in solidarity against harassment and abuse. See Rachel’s solo post here, and submit yours here, or hashtag it “i am comics” on your own tumblr.)

You Sent Us Art!

May 1, 2014 Jay One comment

You sent us more art! YOU ARE AWESOME!

From Nick Johnson, care of Andrew Foley, a new Magnetostache that wins a (web-exclusive!) M&R No Prize for also explaining the streamlining of Magneto’s helmet:

And from David Wynne, who’s well on the way to becoming the unofficial illustrator of this podcast, here’s 90s-animated-series Cyclops gearing up for a good day:

Speaking of Cyclops, Alex Pappademas has written a really fantastic defense of the character over at Grantland, which we highly recommend checking out.

This week, we’re going to be wrapping up our Silver Age coverage with a look at some alternate takes on the era–so, as always, if you’ve got questions, drop ’em in the comments below or our tumblr ask-box, or tweet ’em to @RaeBeta with the hashtag #xplainthexmen!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men AND Cover Your Torso

April 30, 2014 Jay Leave a comment

After Episode 2, we couldn’t get this image out of our head–so we hired designer and all-around rad dude Dylan Todd to make it a reality, then slapped it on some t-shirts and stickers at our TeePublic shop!

And if you’re pining to flag our team colors, we’ve also got Ming Doyle’s sweet X-Men #137 homage pinup, likewise available as a t-shirt or sticker:

Go buy some stuff!

As Mentioned in Episode 3 – Cartoons, Lies, and Video Tape

April 27, 2014 Jay 8 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

The X-Men as they appear in the 90s cartoon opening sequence.

We really just never get tired of Cyclops blowing up robots.

Mr. Sinister is here for your logical causality and possibly also your glam rock!

Creepy Gambit would like you to buy a comic book in which he is probably even creepier in that than in the cartoon it’s based on.

Bruce Timm’s love letter to Broadcast Standards & Practices.

Mojo gets meta.

The first-season lineup of X-Men: Evolution.

X-23 is not pleased with your Harley Quinn comparisons.

In 1989, Dwayne McDuffie sent this pitch to Marvel to make a point about some trends pervasive among their black characters.

Ten years after McDuffie’s letter, Marvel introduced Spyke in X-Men: Evolution: A black kid on a skateboard, who is related to the only other black character on the show.