Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Category: Blog Posts

As Mentioned in Episode 43 – It’s Not a Secret If It’s in the Title

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and travel mugs available until 2/15/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Heroes! (Secret Wars #1)
Villains! (Secret Wars #1)
Battleworld! (Secret Wars #1)
“Also, we’ll totally show up DC and Kenner!” (Secret Wars #1)
Doctor Doom: ever the opportunist. (Secret Wars #1)
This is the best panel of Secret Wars. You can stop reading now. (Secret Wars #1)
DON’T HELP DOCTOR DOOM UP. (Secret Wars #1)
“Damn,” thinks Doom, “If I could do that, those jerky heroes would NEVER have offered to help me up.” (Secret Wars #2)
So, yeah, that happens. (Secret Wars #3)
Johnny Storm: The smoothest man in the Marvel Universe. Also, this raises some questions. Why not spell out “four”? Does he pronounce it differently? Make a hand signal? IT’S A MYSTERY. (Secret Wars #4)
How did this get past the CCA? Who the hell knows. (Secret Wars #5)
Man, if I got super high with a guy I was into and then hallucinated Secret Wars, that would pretty much be the end of that relationship. (Secret Wars #5)
“Ohhhhh, the OTHER Spider-Woman.” (Secret Wars #7)
‘Kay. (Secret Wars #8)
Meet Klaw. (Secret Wars #9)
THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO WAY THIS CAN POSSIBLY END POORLY. (Secret Wars #10)
Yeah, Colossus, but would you tumble 4 her? (Secret Wars #11)
Seriously, did these guys learn NOTHING from the Cold War? (Secret Wars #11)
Okay, that’s legitimately a pretty cool gimmick. (Secret Wars #12)
MEET YOUR PROTAGONIST. (Secret Wars II #1)
Stewart “Unflattering Caricature of Steve Gerber” Cadwall. (Secret Wars II #1)
Wellp. (Secret Wars II #1)
He’s never actually seen food, but damnit, he’s played River City Ransom! (Secret Wars II #2)
Can you imagine being any of the people the Beyonder interacts with? (Secret Wars II #2)
Remember that time Peter Parker had to teach a cosmic entity to poop? BECAUSE THAT CERTAINLY HAPPENED. (Secret Wars II #2)
Seriously, it’s all downhill from here. (Secret Wars II #2)
This will propel the plot of like two months of other comic books. Not even joking. (Secret Wars II #2)
So, then that happens. (Secret Wars II #3)
There is literally no romantic or sexual relationship in this series that is okay by any reasonable definition. Also note that AMAZING block of “next issue” text. (Secret Wars II #4)
Boom-Boom is the hands-down best thing to come out of Secret Wars II. (Secret Wars II #5)
Jim Shooter’s X-Men: “Mutant kid in need? NAH, LET’S KILL A DUDE!” (Secret Wars II #5)
Even the Thing is having trouble maintaining enthusiasm for this debacle. (Secret Wars II #7)
This is roughly how Rachel imagines Marvel Editorial circa 1985.
Reasonable. (Secret Wars II #8)
The Beyonder: Definitely a really sympathetic protagonist. (Secret Wars II #8)
GOD FUCKING DAMNIT. (Secret Wars II #8)
Remember this, because it will have hella repercussions down the line. (Secret Wars II #9)
Ah, Molecule Man, one of the unforgettable heavy-hitters of the Marvel Universe. (Secret Wars II #9)
Remember that time a bunch of heroes saved the universe by murdering a baby? (Secret Wars II #9)
NEXT WEEK: Legion, with Si Spurrier!

 

Rachel and Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 24

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Week of February 4, 2015.

In which Wolverines is extraordinarily pretty, the Guardians of the Galaxy play D&D, and we disagree about Mister Sinister.

Reviewed:

  • The Black Vortex #1 (0:24)
  • Wolverines #5 (2:41)

Pick of the Week: Agent Carter, S1E5 (5:20)

These video reviews are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

February 2015 T-Shirt of the Month: What Would Peter Corbeau Do?

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WWPCD_announcement

 

Who’s the man who holds the Marvel Universe together while the superheroes are out gallivanting around the galaxy?

Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau, that’s who.

He’s got two Nobel prizes. He built his own space station. He survived splitting rent with the Hulk, swam across the Atlantic Ocean, snuck the X-Men into space, and is the namesake of the most unimpeachably legitimate award in comics.

And when you hit a moral or personal or scientific dilemma that will only stand for the most awesome possible solution, there’s only one question you need to ask: What Would Peter Corbeau Do?

In that spirit, it is our great pleasure to debut February 2015’s t-shirt of the month, designed by the ever-splendid Dylan Todd!

Screen Shot 2015-02-02 at 8.44.33 AM

As the name implies, this is a LIMITED RUN: T-shirts and hoodies (including kids’ and infant sizes!) will be up in the shop through March 1, 2015, then DISAPPEAR FROM THE SHOP FOREVER. (Tote bags and travel mugs may persist, depending on interest. We’ll see.)

T-shirts of the month are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

As Mentioned in Episode 42 – A Firestar Is Born

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 2/1/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends (but not in that order).
Context is irrelevant. (Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends)
“John, dude, can we talk about the fact that you just turned into a fucking bear? No? Okay.” Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends
“It means you’ll be hated and feared! Isn’t that wonderful?” (Firestar #1)
“Professor, is it true what they say about exposition in X-books?” (Firestar #1)
Wait ’til they find out she hasn’t even read Carlyle! (Firestar #1)
Oh. Angelica. Honey. No. (Firestar #1)
I’m pretty sure there’s a Talking Heads music video that starts exactly like this. (Firestar #1)
DON’T TRUST HER, ANGELICA! SHE’LL BLOW UP YOUR HORSE! (Firestar #1)
This horse’s name is Butter Rum. Don’t get too attached. (Firestar #2)
The Emma Frost who actually cares about her students did not make her first appearance until some years later. This Emma Frost is just an unapologetic monster. (Firestar #2)
Emma Frost is the best evil narrator. (Firestar #2)
“What could POSSIBLY go wrong?” (Firestar #2)
Miles ‘ships it SO hard. (Firestar #2)
That horror-movie WHINNEY! in the last panel, though. (Firestar #2)
Remember that time Emma Frost convinced a vulnerable teenage girl that she had killed her beloved horse by becoming sexually aroused? BECAUSE THAT DEFINITELY HAPPENED. (Firestar #2)
“What? This? Oh, no, I build killer robots of ALL my friends.” (Firestar #3)
AHAHAHA OH RANDALL YOU’RE SO DOOMED (Firestar #3)
Firestar X-Plains X-Men #193. (Firestar #3)
Seriously, I’m pretty sure Angelica’s dad being kind of a dick to her is the only thing that saves him from CERTAIN DOOM. (Firestar #3)
(He feels bad about it, though, so he still gets beaten up in the airport.) (Firestar #3)
Why does she throw her drink? We may never know. (Firestar #3)
And then she just straight-up breaks into “Stars” from Les Mis. (Firestar #4)
So sinister! (Firestar #4)
And that’s the end of Randall. (Firestar #4)
Fight scene, or breakin’ it down on the dance floor? YOU BE THE JUDGE! (Firestar #4)
For full effect, you have to imagine Firestar’s dialogue read by Alison Brie as Annie Edison. (Firestar #4)
Next Week: Secret Wars Why we drink.

Sorry About That

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cyclops_facepalm

Sorry. I’m sorry.

It has been a hell of a January, mostly for reasons I can’t really go into here. I was going to spend this week getting caught up on the stuff that fell behind while I was putting out fires in the first half of the month; but then Miles and I both got sick; and we decided at the last minute to do a Secret Wars episode, which meant reading about twenty issues very fast; and apparently there’s something in DayQuil that really messes with the way my eyes track, which is making everything involving text and images–which is to say, everything–take about twice as long as it normally would.

All of which is to say: X-Men: Evolution recaps will begin next week. Thank you for your patience. I’m going back to bed.*

-Rachel

*JUST KIDDING! I’m going to go research, write, and record a voiceover thing; then send about a dozen e-mails and finish reading Secret Wars II. Sick days are for people with real jobs!

Rachel and Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 23

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Week of January 28, 2015.

In which we carefully avoid spoiling Uncanny X-Men and remain disappointed by the lack of Wolverines heists; and Rachel mispronounces Bachalo but doesn’t realize until she’s already editing the video (oops).

Reviewed:

  • Uncanny Avengers vol. 2 #1 (0:27)
  • *Uncanny X-Men #30 (2:59)
  • Wolverines #4 (4:17)
  • Spider-Man and the X-Men #2 (5:52)
  • Amazing X-Men #16 (6:57)

*Pick of the Week (8:22)

These video reviews are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

As Mentioned in Episode 41 – Hated and Feared

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 2/1/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Not a dream! Not an imaginary story! (X-Men #193)
“The hard part wasn’t bringing you back from the dead–it was getting you into those leather pants.” (X-Men #193)
Firestar’s first comic-book appearance. We’d like to tell you it goes uphill from here, but, no. (X-Men #193)
Let’s take a moment to admire the complete impracticality of Kitty’s jacket. (X-Men #193)
“That’s right, Sam. And when you’re headmaster of your own school, you can dress however you want.” (X-Men #193)
Kitty’s jacket again, because it is just so gloriously awful. (X-Men #193)
The robot enforcers of the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission. Or something. (X-Men #193)
Empath: Literally the worst kid. (X-Men #193)
In which Charles Xavier takes advantage of a teachable moment. (X-Men #193)
Aw, Nimrod, you’re so wacky. (X-Men #193)
It seems like a waste that this sequence isn’t accompanied by sitcom opening-credits music. (X-Men #194)
Things about Rachel Summers that are not The Saddest Thing at this point in continuity: None of them. (X-Men #194)
Really, Earth-811? Limitless budget, and you couldn’t design anything that looked better than THAT? (X-Men #194)
Voltron special! (X-Men #194)
The scene depicted on the cover ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT TAKE PLACE AT ANY POINT DURING THIS ISSUE. Good god, Marvel. (X-Men #195)
And now, an actual nightmare that you have actually had! (X-Men #195)
Seriously, what the hell, George? (X-Men #195)
Aw. (X-Men #195)
Damn, Shadowcat. That’s cold. Not entirely inaccurate, but cold. (X-Men #195)
I have no idea how they’re going to explain this one to their parents. (X-Men #195)
Next Week: Firestar!

Some Very Quick Thoughts on the X-Men: Apocalypse Casting Announcement

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Rachel here! ICYMI, they’ve just announced the casting for the three new kids in X-Men: Apocalypse. Let’s take a look:

sophieturner_jean

Sophie Turner as Jean Grey:

Sophie Turner is the only one of the three I’ve seen in anything, ever; and I could not be happier to see her step into Jean Grey’s bright yellow boots. Turner’s a fantastic actress, and Sansa Stark is basically the Jean Grey of Game of Thrones: completely awesome and chronically thrown under the bus by both canon and audience. (Incidentally: talk shit about Sansa stark in the comments, and we will cut you. Sansa rules.)

 

alexandrashipp_storm

Alexandra Shipp as Storm:

Totally unfamiliar with Shipp, but she looks like a baby Storm, and she’s not Halle Berry, so that’s two points in her favor.

 

tyesheridan_cyclops

Tye Sheridan as Cyclops:

With the caveat that I’m no more familiar with this kid than I am with Shipp, can we take a moment to agree that the correct casting for teen Cyclops is and always will be Swing Kids-era Robert Sean Leonard?

Welcome to Bayville, Rachel. Hope You Survive the Experience!

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Coming soon to R&MXtX-M: X-Men: Evolution!
Coming soon to R&MXtX-M: X-Men: Evolution!

Rachel here! As you may or may not know, Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men–the podcast, the videos, and everything we do here on the site–is entirely listener supported, via our kickass Patreon subscribers. And last night, while we weren’t looking, they unlocked one hell of a milestone goal:

Starting next week, I’ll be recapping and reviewing not one, not a dozen, but every single episode of animated high-school drama X-Men: Evolution.

It’s no secret that I love this show. I love it a lot. I love the awkward teenagers (and even more awkward early animation); the dubious fashion; the high-school angst; the godawful Season One finale. I love the way it starts terrible and then slowly and subtly gets awesome while you’re not paying attention. I love that there’s an episode where it stops being a superhero show and instead spends 22 minutes doing a straight-up homage to old-school girl-gang movies.

And I love seeing characters and premises I love reinvented and refiltered through very different sensibilities: what shifts and evolves, and what core themes persist through the changes. In a lot of ways, Evolution is the most daring adaptation of X-Men; certainly, it’s the one that moves furthest from any other incarnation of the series and team. Sometimes it succeeds brilliantly. Sometimes it fails spectacularly. But it never stops being fun.

If you want to watch along with me, you can find the full series on Marvel’s YouTube channel, starting here. I’ll be kicking off next week with Season 1, Episode 1: “Strategy X.”

As Mentioned in Episode 40 – Give Them Something to Fight (With G. Willow Wilson)

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints available until 1/25/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
The first issue of G. Willow Wilson’s Adler-Corbeau Award-winning run on X-Men, out this month!
Are you reading Ms. Marvel? YOU SHOULD BE. It is superlative.
G. Willow Wilson and Ming Doyle’s Nightcrawler story from Girl Comics #1.
Miles’s favorite Rachel Summers costume, from Excalibur #64.
Rachel’s favorite Rachel Summers costume, from Uncanny X-Men #207. Why has no one done a ballgown version of this yet? I mean: THAT NECKLINE!
No, seriously: Why are you not already reading Ms. Marvel? It is the best.
Next week: THIS DEFINITELY DOES NOT ACTUALLY HAPPEN.

Links and Further Reading:

  • G. Willow Wilson. Go read everything she’s written. It’s all splendid. GO. NOW.
  • You have until JANUARY 21 to send in your entries for the Corbeau Coloring Contest!
  • If you want to help support the podcast–and see Rachel recap and review all 52 episodes of X-Men Evolution–now might be a good time to click over to our Patreon.