Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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Rachel & Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 33

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Week of April 15, 2015:

In which Jordie Bellaire is our god now, Black Vortex is way too long, and Miles makes gremlin noises.

REVIEWED:

  • Spider-Man and the X-Men #5 (0:28)
  • Uncanny X-Men #33 (1:55)
  • *Magneto #17 (3:59)
  • Legendary Star-Lord #11 (5:46)
  • Wolverines #14 (8:01)

*Pick of the Week (9:39)

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. These video reviews–and everything else here–are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

New Milestone Goals!

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Quick update to let you know that we’ve added a new set of milestone goals to the Patreon!

Screen Shot 2015-04-15 at 2.43.12 PM

  • PODCAST WIKI – $2750/month
    Wondering which questions showed up in which episode, or where to find that one cold open about Fantomex? When we hit this goal, we’ll start work on an exhaustive wiki and question index!
  • WEBSITE REVAMP – $3000/month
    We’ll ditch our DIY setup and hire an actual web designer to revamp (and regularly maintain and update) the site!
  • A/V UPGRADE AND NEW PROJECTS – $3300/month
    We’ll upgrade our video production setup, and start producing some new video and audio content–including some larger projects*–in addition to the podcast and video reviews.

When we first launched the podcast a little over a year ago, we had no idea how large it would grow, or how quickly; and since then, it’s been a nonstop race to keep up. As a result, a lot of what we’ve done has felt less like building something to last than improvising a series of on-the-fly fixes–for instance, our very rudimentary (and mobile-unfriendly) website.

So, while previous milestones have been all about offering more content–posts, merch, recaps, video reviews, and more–this series of goals is all about creating a better and more sustainable infrastructure from which to run the current stuff and launch some projects* that we’re really, really excited about. Hiring a professional to build us a website that works. Organizing and indexing the mountain of material we’ve covered in a year+ worth of podcasts. Shifting more of the organizational and administrative hours to AdministratriX Tina, and using some of that time to get new stuff up and running.

Rachel & Miles X-Plain the X-Men is entirely listener supported, and that means that everything we do here is possible because of you. Thank you for helping us get to where we are, and helping us stay ad-free and independent–and thank you in advance for helping us continue to grow!

*Top secret, at least for now; but SO COOL. Seriously. Hardcore pipe-dream stuff; we’re kinda freaking out at the idea that we might actually get to do some of these for real.

Rachel Recaps X-Men: Evolution

S1E4: Mutant Crush

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Let me get this out of the way fast: “Mutant Crush” is my least favorite episode of X-Men: Evolution. Yes, even more than “The Cauldron,” which I’m pretty sure is objectively the worst episode of the series.1

But while “The Cauldron” is terrible, it’s hilariously terrible. “Mutant Crush” is. Well. It’s a decently written episode, I guess. And it’s got a lot of moments I dig. It’s just also really fucked up and disturbing, and not in hilarious and pedantic ways.

Seriously: Shit gets dark in this episode. If you don’t want to read a humorous write-up of a story that is essentially about stalking and kidnapping, you may want to skip this one. I recognize that this is essentially a humor column, and I tried to find okay ways to be funny about this episode, but I mostly ended up with a lot of tonal whiplash, and a pretty high volume of commentary on the ways women are socialized to appease violent men, and some really inappropriate references to John Fowles’ The Collector.2

And on that note: Here is a link to the National Domestic Violence Hotline’s help page. NDVH is a pretty solid organization, and in addition to the actual hotlines–which include a phone line and web-based chat, both confidential and anonymous–they’ve got a very good list of resources, including LGBTQI and teen-specific stuff. (NDVH is, however, mostly U.S.-specific. If you know of international resources or have other specific recommendations, please stick ‘em in the comments, and maybe we can get something useful out of this clusterfuck of an episode.)

Right. So. LET’S TALK ABOUT SOME X-MEN!

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As Mentioned in Episode 52 – Previously on Rachel & Miles X-Plain the X-Men…

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne.
Art by David Wynne.

Given the nature of this week’s episode, we decided against putting together a visual companion (we instead recommend clicking through the preceding visual companions as fast as you can). However, we did assemble a handy index of every single previous episode, which you can find below the cut!

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Rachel and Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 32

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Week of April 8, 2015 (and one from last week)

In which we are weirdly on-theme fashion-wise; Cyclops ends on a high note; we are pretty done with the Black Vortex; and you probably shouldn’t invoke Generation Hope without at least a footnote.

NOTE: Cyclops and Captain Marvel reviews contain spoilers.

REVIEWED:

  • *Cyclops #12 (0:41)
  • Captain Marvel #14 (5:30)
  • Storm #10 (9:07)

*Pick of the week (12:29)

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. These video reviews–and everything else here–are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Abs Mentioned in Episode 51 – The X-Istentialists, Featuring Kris Anka, Marguerite Bennett, Kieron Gillen, and Peter Nguyen

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Listen to the episode here!

For the record: I am not even a little bit sorry. -Rachel
Art by David Wynne. We’re not selling prints of this one, but you can still hit David up for the original!
Many thanks to Kris Anka, Marguerite Bennett, Kieron Gillen, and Peter Nguyen! (I have no idea why this photo keeps displaying upside down, but at this point, I’m just gonna keep running with it.)
NEXT WEEK: Rachel and Miles Recap 51 episodes in under an hour.

LINKS:

Special thanks to Elle Collins for the last-minute abs-sist.

 

Rachel and Miles Fail to Review the X-Men

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Actually, that’s not entirely true. Miles totally reviewed the X-Men, and then I tried to download the files over the crap hotel WiFi so I could edit them, and, yeah, that is definitely not happening.

(Incidentally: This is Rachel, reporting live-ish from Norwescon! I was on five panels today, including a last-minute pinch hit on the Queer Comics panel, and I am a little con-giddy, so.)

ANYWAY, here are some brief thoughts to fill the gaping void the video reviews would otherwise occupy:

Cyclops #12: I am kind of bummed that Black Vortex Cyclops isn’t just Space Pirate Cyclops from Mutant X. I mean, it wouldn’t make sense, but it would be awesome.

Wolverines #19: Can Fantomelle and X-23 run away and be benevolent teen supercriminals together? I would read that book.

Uncanny Avengers #3: I’m still completely indifferent to this arc, but it’s worth it for the Waiting for the Trade strips it has inspired.

PICK OF THE WEEK: Namor’s abs, wherever they may appear.

PANEL OF THE WEEK: I had a really good time on Nuts & Bolts of Comics Writing with G. Willow Wilson today! (Norwescon just recently began introducing comics programming–it’s mostly an old-school SFF con–so today’s comics track ended up being like 90% the Rachel and Willow Show. Also, I just realized that all but one of the comics panels I was on today were all women, and none of them were women-in-comics panels, and that is so cool.)

IN OTHER NEWS: I am really excited about Siege. Kieron Gillen writing Abigail Brand a bunch of Sinister-created Summers clones doing a desperate Westeros Night’s Watch-inflected story? Yes, please.

COMING UP SUNDAY IN THE PODCAST: Our ECCC roundtable with Kieron Gillen, Marguerite Bennet, Kris Anka, Peter Nguyen. Namor’s abs.

 

 

April 2015 T-Shirt & Leggings of the Month: Demon Bear

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Because you demanded* it: THE DEMON BEAR SHIRT!

Art by David Wynne!
Art by David Wynne!

When David Wynne’s gorgeous Demon Bear illustration went up with Episode 32, a lot of you asked when you’d see it on a t-shirt. We are happy to announce that your wait is over: the Demon Bear is officially April’s t-shirt of the month!

But that’s not all: we’re also doing a limited run of Demon Bear leggings! Do YOU want to wrap your entire body in a nightmare creature from dimensions beyond human ken?** CONGRATULATIONS. NOW YOU CAN.

demonbear_leggings

Demon Bear t-shirts and leggings will be available until May 1, 2015, then disappear forever. (Travel mugs will of course continue to stick around for as long as they remain hilarious.)

*Actually, you have been asking very politely for a very long time now. We appreciate that.

**Before someone asks: We did in fact try to do a Screaming Bear Crotch variant, but alas, it did not work out with the placement of the seams on Redbubble leggings.

ECCC Cosplay Round-Up

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Rachel here!

I know I didn’t catch all of the great X-cosplay at Emerald City Comicon this past weekend, but here are a handful of my favorites from the show floor!

Thanks to everyone in this gallery for taking the time to pose, and for giving us permission to post your photos here! Only one of you gave us contact info; if anyone else would like me to add credits and/or a link (or to take your photo down), please drop a line and let me know!

First of the show: ’90s Rogue and Gambit!
I wish I’d gotten a photo of the full Dark Phoenix cocktail dress–it was really beautifully made.
The first and only modern Magneto we spotted! You can’t see it in the photo, but she had a Magneto Made Some Valid Points button on her utility belt. =D
Rule 63 Rogue and Gambit. There were a LOT of Rogues and Gambits.
Jubilee!
Shadowcat and Lockheed!
This is a lousy photo, but this Beast was SPECTACULARLY good.
Legacy-era Rogue, with bonus Peggy Carter! (I keep thinking that this particular Rogue costume would make a really great hoodie or wool coat.)
This “Riot at Xavier’s” Quentin Quire–complete with a Kick inhaler–is the first QQ cosplay that I will voluntarily admit is better than mine.
Serval Industries Polaris, cosplayed by Keightee Liza. (Incidentally: I just clicked through to Keightee’s website–she gave me a card at the show–and apparently she also cosplays Angie Martinelli from Agent Carter. SO AWESOME.)
We ran into this Gambit on our way back from the X-Plain the X-Men meetup on Saturday!
Not only is Jean an awesome Jubilee–and sporting a set of my sharpie knuckle tats– but she singlehandedly saved the ECCC special by lending us a mic and a pop-filter when we realized we’d left ours in Portland.
Same Magneto, different day (and still sporting the Valid Points pin!).
I really hope someone got details and a turnaround of this costume, because this Punk Storm was BRILLIANT. Not only does her costume kick ass, but every single detail–every button, every patch–is in character and thought out. This is how you do AU cosplay. THIS. FOREVER.
A very young Dark Phoenix in the hands-down best version of the classic costume that I saw all weekend. Her parents told me that this was her first con; I assume that by this time next year she’ll be running the world.

As Mentioned in Episode 50 – The People Vs. Erik Lehnsherr

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Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 4/5/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Professor Xavier reacts to the Xorn retcons. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Someone really needs to make a gif out of those three panels on the left. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Not satisfied with his own series, the Beyonder derails someone else’s. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
This is so ridiculously rude. I mean, what if Father Bowen had been asleep, or naked, or talking to a parishioner, or something? “SURPRISE!” (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Kurt Wagner echoes some common criticisms of Secret Wars. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Awkward. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
KITTY’S FACE. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Given the parallels between Rachel Summers and Magneto’s backgrounds, it would have been really cool to see this relationship developed further. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
So doomed. (Uncanny X-Men #197)
Aw, these kids. (Uncanny X-Men #197)
Oh, hi, Phoenix II! (Uncanny X-Men #199)
While we’re on the subject: Check out Allie Kleber’s gorgeous design for a ballgown version of Rachel’s first Phoenix costume!
Cue-ball special! Take a drink! (Uncanny X-Men #199)
You can almost hear the slash fiction springing into being. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
We’d make “Rachel and Scott Summers pointedly fail to communicate” a drink cue, but no one’s liver deserves that. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
It is super weird how much Val Cooper looks like Tiffani-Amber Thiessen, given that Thiessen would have been eleven years old when this comic came out. Photo-reference of future past? (Uncanny X-Men #199)
“We’ll start by attacking a dude at a Holocaust memorial. It’ll be great practice for your PR team!” (Uncanny X-Men #199)
Rachel Summers was totally the best Phoenix. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
Magneto is a morally complex individual with really excellent hair. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
No matter how much you love your job, you will never love it as much as Mystique loves hers. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
Magneto’s speech here is important, but what you’re really looking at here is his well-tailored suit. You’d expect him to show up to his trial in something like this, right? (Uncanny X-Men #199)
NOPE. Why wear a conservative suit to your trial when you could wear opera gloves and a sleeveless unitard with an M pointing directly to your crotch? (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Neal Conan x-plains Magneto. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
“The counsels for the prosecution and defense have been selected based on the quality of their Joan Rivers impressions.” (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Oh, these assholes. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
So, basically, it’s Tuesday. Also: best editor’s note ever? Best editor’s note ever. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
I don’t think we talked about it in the episode, but this issue has the best damn sound effects. Seriously, I’m just gonna post a bunch of these, because they are great, and the lettering is aces. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
VYANNG! KRAKOOM! (Uncanny X-Men #200)
SKBOOM! (Uncanny X-Men #200)
RKOW! (Uncanny X-Men #200)
KTHAM! (Uncanny X-Men #200)
ZARK! TUNCH! BDAM! THIS LETTERING, Y’ALL. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Let’s all take a moment to appreciate Kitty’s hella sweet outfit. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
You’re not wrong, Madelyne. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
There’s something intrinsically hilarious about Starjammers fly-bys. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
KITTY, FOCUS ON THE PROBLEM AT… oh. Sorry. That was in poor taste. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Pretty sure that last speech balloon was supposed to be Kitty’s, not Scott’s. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
MAGNETO MADE SOME VALID POINTS. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Agh, god, Tom Orzechowski’s sound effects are SO GOOD. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Sir James Jaspers: total dick. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
CANON: This lady’s name is Judge Kickass. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Atonement

Cleric lvl 5 / Druid lvl 5

Range: Touch

(Uncanny X-Men #200)

NEXT WEEK: ECCC special, featuring Kris Anka, Marguerite Bennett, Kieron Gillen, and Peter Nguyen! (No idea why this photo is showing up upside down, but it looks kind of rad, so we’re just gonna run with it.)

LINKS AND FURTHER READING: