Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Category: Blog Posts

Jay Recaps X-Men: Evolution
S1E9: Survival of the Fittest

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I can summarize most episodes of X-Men: Evolution from memory, in a fair degree of detail; so it surprised me when, in reviewing the Season 1 roster, I realized I recalled almost nothing of “Survival of the Fittest” beyond the fact that it involved some kind of summer camp scenario. When I started to watch, I realized why: in a season where even the bad episodes are usually entertaining, this one is just boring as all hell.

On my first pass, I stopped taking notes five minutes in, because nothing was happening. By the halfway mark, I was actively fantasizing about watching paint dry.1 But I am nothing if not committed, readers. I promised you a recap, and a recap you would have, come hell or high water.

Ah, well. At least I get to judge cartoon teenagers for their fashion choices.

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As Mentioned in Episode 99 – Those Who Walk Away from Genosha

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
The whole arc summed up in a single image. (Uncanny X-Men #235)
Hawkshaw’s actual mutant power is talking in old-timey detective slang. (Uncanny X-Men #235)
“Y’know, when I’m not running a massive underground IT complex and consorting with demons.” (Uncanny X-Men #235)
Unlike the Genoshans, the X-Men actually arrive with extra clothes when they teleport. (Uncanny X-Men #235)
“Yes, and…” (Uncanny X-Men #235)
NAKED FIGHT! Take a drink, and follow it with a beer back. (Uncanny X-Men #236)
The stark normalcy of (human) life on Genosha is played for pretty spectacular contrast to horror’s it’s built upon. (Uncanny X-Men #236)
“Here in Genosha, we’re more into D.C.” (Uncanny X-Men #236)
BUTTERFLY MUSTACHE! (Uncanny X-Men #236)
Meet N’astirh: the most polite demon. Kinda. For now. (Uncanny X-Men #236)
We’d all like to think we’ve got a little Carol Danvers in us, but it’s rarely quite this literal. (Uncanny X-Men #236)
THAT OUTFIT. (Uncanny X-Men #236)
The best thing about being a supervillain is that people respect it when you don’t feel like multitasking. (Uncanny X-Men #236)
Damn, Genegineer. (Uncanny X-Men #237)
Don’t fuck with Madelyne Pryor. (Uncanny X-Men #237)
Or Wolverine, for that matter. (Uncanny X-Men #237)
OH SHIT (Uncanny X-Men #238)
He’s a homophone! Get it? ‘Cause Sinister is a Jeangineer! (Uncanny X-Men #238)
“Fuck foreshadowing. I’m turning on the damn SPOTLIGHT.” (Uncanny X-Men #238)
Genosha is actually kind of a metaphor–just not for what you first think. (Uncanny X-Men #238)
NEXT EPISODE: Chris Claremont.

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

IT LIVES!

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We woke up this morning to this amazingness in our Twitter stream:

cosplay

This is not a photo of us. This is a photo of listeners @StudentofWhim and @Biscainer, who decided to celebrate the new title and URL by cosplaying as the versions of us from our cover art, which is unquestionably the most awesomely Borgesian thing that has ever happened to us in nearly two years of X-Plaining the X-Men.

Speaking of the new stuff, if you’re reading this, it means that we are now at our fancy new URL, xplainthexmen.com! (We almost went with JayandMiles.com, but someone pointed out that we’d have to change it again in a dozen or so years when the Littlest X-Perts come of age and take over, so that just redirects here.) In theory, all of the old links will keep working, but here’s a quick-reference list of where to find what:

iTunes should be showing the correct title now or within the next few days; and your feeds should update automatically.

We’re still working on getting Patreon and Redbubble updated; we’ll let you know as soon as those are moved over (for now, they’re right where they’ve always been).

Obviously, this is a big shift, and it’s involved a lot of coordination, so please pardon any hiccoughs in the days ahead; and let us know if anything’s running wrong, or if you notice the wrong name anywhere!

Jay & Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 76

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Week of March 2, 2016:

In which we change title mid-series; Greg Land’s art continues to be divisive; Hawkeye brightens Old Man Logan; and Black Widow is better than *everything.*

REVIEWED:

  • Uncanny X-Men #4 (00:47)
  • Old Man Logan #3 (03:29)

Pick of the Week: Black Widow #1 (06:41)

**Don’t forget to update your bookmarks to xplainthexmen.com! (That said, rachelandmiles.com will redirect for the foreseeable future, so you should be fine either way.)**

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. These video reviews–and everything else here–are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

As Mentioned in Episode 98 – Between Alien Visitations and Drunken Sulks

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Hello, Meggan!
Say what you will about Dai Thomas; the man is thorough.
The Crazy Gang tries so hard.
These dudes really really seem like they must be a reference to something, but we were unable to dig up a clear source.
Also how we found Kyle.
She may be the evil dictator of a crypto-Nazi dystopian Earth, but damned if Sat-Yr-Nin doesn’t have great hair.
It’s kind of charming how petty Brian gets when he’s feeling self-righteous.
Sidney Crumb is ill.
Aw, man.
I’m’a let you finish, X-Men, but this is the best team in the Marvel Universe.
Captain Britain is a superhero comic that is also an extended metaphor that is also a superhero comic.
One more Technet group shot, just because.
Brian Braddock summed up in a single panel.
The Cherubim. Don’t get too attached–they’re super doomed.
Okay, then.
Captain U.K. and her therapy mullet.
Meanwhile at Stately Braddock Manor…
The real superpower is adherence to narrow beauty standards, but flight is also pretty cool.
This sequence really needs to be set to the Benny Hill theme.
Oldest trap in the book.
MORE TECHNET! It’s Technet Christmas!
There’s probably a universe where Captain Britain is in fact a girl gang, and that’s the universe where I want to live.
Fridging summed up in a single panel.
Remember that time the protagonist, a superhero, straight-up smashed a dude’s head in with a boulder? Because that definitely happened in this comic.
Don’t quit your day job, kid.
Hardboiled gangster Meggan is the goddamn best.
No, seriously, there should be a whole comic that’s just about the two of them doing this.
That RICK sound effect, tho.
OH, HI.
And they all lived happily ever after, but not really, because that doesn’t make for a very interesting ongoing series.
NEXT EPISODE: Genosha is for lovers!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

 

Rachel & Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 75

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Week of February 24, 2016:

In which All-New X-Men is full of feelings.

Reviewed:

  • *All-New X-Men #5

*Pick of the Week

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. These video reviews–and everything else here–are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Jay Recaps X-Men: Evolution
S1E8: SpykeCam

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Oh, Evolution Season One. You try so hard. And sometimes you hit your mark: sometimes it’s “Turn of the Rogue.”

And then, sometimes, it’s “SpykeCam.”

Here’s the thing about Spyke: he’s a character born of good intentions and just stunningly thin execution. He’s got a lot of potential, but the actual episodes that focus on him–which are fairly few and far between–and his eventual, deeply dubious fate are almost universally weak. I want to like this dude, and sometimes I really do–but often, it’s in spite of, not because of, the stories built around him.

Ah, well. We’ll always have Dracula: The Rock Musical.

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As Mentioned in Episode 97 – The Crooked World

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Listen to the episode here.

The Story So Far.
How awesome a group cosplay would this be? (Answer: so awesome.)
That’s quite a battle cry, Cap.
THIS GUY.
Jim Jaspers X-Plains Jim Jaspers (but leaves out the part where he prosecutes Magneto).
The first death of Captain Britain.
“Have fun with that, dude!”
“Show, don’t tell” in action.
There’s nothing more awkward than coming home to discover that your house has been taken over by an evil supercomputer.
Slaymaster and his amazing mustache.
This heist…
…is the best heist…
…even if it doesn’t end quite as planned.
Captain Albion is by far and away the best-dressed member of the Captain Britain corps.
Welcome to your nightmares for the next week.
Future Traumatic Stress Disorder is no laughing matter.
We have never identified so hard with Captain Britain as we did in this moment.
Seriously, though, can’t you see it as a sitcom?
Oh, that’ll end well.
*shudder*
Again: We cannot overemphasize how scary the Fury is.
It’s Meggan’s first appearance! HI, MEGGAN!
Speaking of first appearances (well, at least in 616), here’s the Crazy Gang!
(Immediately followed by one of the most satisfying ass-kickings in any superhero comic, ever.)
It’s okay. He’s only faking.
WHY DOES NO ONE EVERY GROUP-COSPLAY THE CAPTAIN BRITAIN CORPS? Maybe they do in the U.K. We fervently hope so.
NEXT WEEK: But wait! There’s more!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING:

Rachel & Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 74

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Week of February 17, 2016:

In which we are not impressed with Extraordinary X-Men (but enjoy its art); and finally weigh in on a recent theatrical release (because you demanded it).

REVIEWED:

  • Extraordinary X-Men #7 (00:29)
  • Deadpool (film) (04:46)

*Pick of the Week: Blind Onion Pizza (08:45)

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. These video reviews–and everything else here–are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!