Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Category: Blog Posts

As Mentioned in Episode 208 – The X-Patriots

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Prodigal Was Right. (X-Factor #81)
No matter how many times I look at this, I still imagine this dude moving like tumbleweed. (X-Factor #82)
HEY, LOOK, MARVEL GOT A NEW LICENSE! (X-Factor #82)
Havok: Actually a reasonably good boss! (X-Factor #82)
I spent a LOT of time googling jaw injuries to try to figure out what the hell the hardware on Lorna’s face is supposed to be. Verdict: IT’S A MYSTERY. (X-Factor #82)
Live your best life, Toad. (X-Factor #82)
The fastest withering insults in the West. (X-Factor #82)
The new Phantazia.
THIS IS A VALID CONCERN. (X-Factor #82)
(It’s okay; Sam’s fine and possibly immortal.) (X-Factor #82)
Remember like five pages ago when it was a big deal that Lorna’s jaw was wired shut? (X-Factor #82)
I feel you, Lukas. (X-Factor #83)
Oh, this is gonna be awkward. (X-Factor #83)
WELL THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY. (X-Factor #83)
They’re going to bond over how much they hate everyone else. (X-Factor #83)
I’m still trying to figure this out. Maybe mutate children are artificially physically matured as part of the mutate process? (X-Factor #83)
Stairs are funny. (X-Factor #83)
Sure, why not? (X-Factor #83)
Aw, they’re best friends now. Because they’re both jerks. (X-Factor #83)
Poor Zachary. (X-Factor #83)
He’ll be okay, but this storyline is not going to get resolved until after X-Cutioner’s Song. (X-Factor #83)
Rick Chalker, on the other hand, will definitely not be okay. (X-Factor #83)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Editor Jordan D. White!

LINKS & FURTHER ENRICHMENT:

As Mentioned in Episode 207 – Blood and Metal

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Everyone in this comic book is yelling at all times. (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)
There is also a lot of leaping. The early ’90s were very leaping-heavy years. (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)
Garrison, you delightful scamp! (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)
That’s right. The Six Pack is named after beer. (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)
Grizzly is kind of a delight in this series. (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)
Stryfe is ALWAYS a delight. (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)
Look at these ridiculous guns. LOOK AT THEM. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)
Every fight in this series is exuberantly ridiculous, and it’s great. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)
Cable is a really, really terrible boss. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)
More leaping! (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)
MORE LEAPING! (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)
Having studied under Cable, Kane knows how to leap into battle. (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)
Blood and Metal also does the action-movie thing where the hardboiled dialogue is often vaguely suggestive. (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)
“It makes sense, though. Having an evil clone runs in my family.” (Cable: Blood and Metal #1)
Yes, Garrison. Ninjas. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)
That’s Stryfe; and this explains a thing or three. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)
We forgot to mention this scene in the episode, but at one point, Garrison Kane is just randomly eating a fucking enormous sandwich. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)
And then on the next page, he dramatically rips his shirt off, because, look, SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOTTA. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)
Shorts! (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)
Look, if you haven’t worked out that Stryfe looks like Cable by this point in the series, I’m not sure I can help you. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)
I keep imagining Stryfe yelling, “Brother!” in Liquid Snake’s voice; and now you can, too. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)
“I also got you some unflattering but comfortable briefs. (Cable: Blood and Metal #2)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor gets political.

LINKS & FURTHER TOMFOOLERY:

 

As Mentioned in Episode 206 – Anatomy of a Phoenix

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Tuesday, basically. (Excalibur #51)
Meet the Excalibur of Earth-99476! (Excalibur #51)
This Sauron’s opinions on jorts are never canonically established, but I think we all know. (Excalibur #51)
I see what you did there, Davis. (Excalibur #51)
Ka-Zar, Lord of the Savage Land! (Excalibur #51)
The Fantastic Five! (Excalibur #51)
There is definitely an alternate universe that is the same as 616 in every way except that Dai Thomas ended this call by yelling, “The Aristocrats!” (Excalibur #51)
It’s true. I will pretty much always pay to watch the X-Men beat up Professor X. (Excalibur #52)
You know it’s an illusion because none of them is wearing a plaid suit. (Excalibur #52)
Several aspects of Rachel’s backstory as presented in this issue will be retconned away, but this is the most significant of those. (Excalibur #52)
WELL THAT EXPLAINS A THING OR TWO (Excalibur #52)
And then they went to space. For like a year. (Excalibur #52)
That’s our Brian! (Excalibur #54)
Spoiler: Kitty is cutting off his cast and it’s itchy. (Excalibur #54)
That’s our Brian! (Excalibur #54)
Oh, man, can you imagine Meggan at Disney World? I bet she has THE MOST fun and also gets asked to leave very quickly. (Excalibur #54)
It seems kind of ridiculous that he jumps straight to “must be an illusion” after everything he’s seen, but… That’s our Brian! (Excalibur #54)
I love the Crazy Gang and very much want them to be happy. (Excalibur #54)
The best kind of twist ending! (Excalibur #54)
The mystery deepens and gets even cooler-looking. (Excalibur #54)
As promised, here is a photograph of two-year-old Jay dressed as a compsognathus.
NEXT EPISODE: Cable: Blood and Metal!

LINKS & ADDITIONAL FUN:

As Mentioned in Episode 205 – Back to Basics

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Okay, but seriously, he could have gotten that cape anywhere. (X-Force #11)
Early Deadpool was just kind of a jerk. (X-Force #11)
In which Garrison Kane and all of his teeth are watching you poop. (X-Force #11)
The best thing about this is that Rictor’s shirt changes color from green to read between issues, and I have decided that it is DEFINITELY Hypercolor(TM). (X-Force #11)
Hi, Crule. (X-Force #12)
Somewhere, Flash Gordon is very confused and very naked. (X-Force #12)
Just posting this for Rictor’s outfit, which really only gets more remarkable with every drawing. (X-Force #12)
If I were a better person, I might have pasted this together with the other half of the four-page spread… (X-Force #13)
…but, alas, I’m not. (X-Force #13)
Thaaaaaat’s our Cable! (X-Force #13)
Yeahno. (X-Force #13)
I really like the way Shoemaker draws battle-damaged Cable. (X-Force #14)
MY FEELINGS (X-Force #14)
Awk-ward. (X-Force #14)
Spoiler: FRIENDSHIP WINS. (X-Force #15)
And he would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn’t been for you meddling kids! (X-Force #15)
NEXT EPISODE: Fire, life, and backstory!

LINKS:

  • You can learn all about Garrison Kane in Episode 195 – Johnny Got His Robot Arm.
  • Should you find yourself in Brussels, Jay recommends Utopia for all your superhero comics needs.
  • Mitchell is a terrible movie but a very good episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000; which latter you can watch here.

As Mentioned in Episode 204 – Naughty By Nurture

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See how much is happening on this cover? Yeah, it’s got nothing on what’s inside. (Captain America Annual #4)
Jack Kirby: master of action! And of basically everything else! (Captain America Annual #4)
“Morning, Ralph.” “Morning, Sam.” (Captain America Annual #4)
Eh, I’ve lived in worse places. (Captain America Annual #4)
Drunk-at-a-Party Magneto, with Real Ranting Action (TM)! (Captain America Annual #4)
Mister Two, you are two cool looking. (Captain America Annual #4)
“Jeez, man! I could have been… magnetizing in here!” (Captain America Annual #4)
The all-new, all-different Brotherhood of Evil Mutants! Note Shocker’s weird little crab claws. (Captain America Annual #4)
DRAMATIC ZOOOOOOM! (Captain America Annual #4)
Yeah, I know we posted this as our Next Time image last time – but I really wanted to post it again. (Captain America Annual #4)
Strangely, this part didn’t come up at Magneto’s trial in Uncanny X-Men #200. (Captain America Annual #4)
Kirby-Cap does not fuck around. (Captain America Annual #4)
I mean, I like Nuanced And Morally Gray Magneto as much as the next guy, but… I miss this! (Captain America Annual #4)
Mister One died as he lived: tiny and orange. (Captain America Annual #4)
“Quick! Everybody say everybody’s names!” (Rom #17)
Bronze Age Wolverine summed up in one panel. (Rom #17)
“Silas, we brought you here today because we love you and we’re concerned about you.” (Rom #17)
Man, private schools are messed up. (Rom #17)
Diagonal art in a horizontal panel: simple, effective, and creepy. (Rom #17)
HOLY FUCKING SHIT (Rom #17)
Oh, man… I really liked that guy. Dire Wraith. Dire guy. (Rom #17)
Kitty, that kid is a) clearly younger than 15 and b) clearly a GODDAMNED DEMON (Rom #18)
The whole fight is like this – disorienting and tense. Rom may not be a horror book, exactly, but it’s close. (Rom #18)
Sal Buscema, how did you make Rom’s character design look this cool? It’s like Walter Simonson and Archangel! (Rom #18)
You’re not wrong, Kitty. (Rom #18)
“I used to head to the target range after my Maritime Law classes!” (Rom #18)
Poor Kitty. Poor everyone. (Rom #18)
Hey, it’s Limbo! No, not that one. Or that one. The other one. (Rom #18)
NEXT TIME: X-Force gets awesome!

Bill Mantlo, Rom’s writer (and the writer of lots of other awesome stuff) was struck by a car in 1992 and severely injured. If you can, please help support him.

You can hear Hub’s wit and wisdom on his podcast, Titan Up The Defense! It’s all about the Bronze Age Defenders and New Teen Titans and it’s really good!

As Mentioned in Episode 203 – The X-Man’s Burden

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Hmm. Well. (Uncanny X-Men #291)
Impressive pajamas! Ever-present shotguns! Sexy (not-quite-) dead girls! Extra-spiky Archangel Wings! Banter! This one’s got it all. (Uncanny X-Men #291)
I know you were in the Void Dimension for a while, Mikhail, but… did you forget how shirts work? (Uncanny X-Men #291)
I don’t know what it is about the astral plane being colored with highlighters that works for me, but man, does it ever. (Uncanny X-Men #291)
I go back and forth on Tom Raney’s art, but he draws a hell of a Callisto. (Uncanny X-Men #291)
This is a cool group shot and all, but PLEASE NOTE THE MORLOCK WHO IS VERY EXCITED TO EAT A ROCK. Or bash his buddy with it, I guess. But I’m pretty sure he’s eating it. (Uncanny X-Men #291)
But… the Morlocks were never trapped! Well, I guess now they’re extra not trapped. (Uncanny X-Men #291)
One of my very favorite 90s covers of all time, only improved by the confusing colorful party lights above the logo. (Uncanny X-Men #292)
In the next panel, Colossus and Bishop passionately kiss. (Uncanny X-Men #292)
I’ll give Mikhail one thing: he’s legitimately scary. (Uncanny X-Men #292)
Warren, you’ve been through a lot, but… you do know that this is the other place you were nailed to a wall in the Morlock tunnels, right? Right? (Uncanny X-Men #292)
Miles had so many nightmares about this guy 26 years ago. (Uncanny X-Men #292)
To be fair, Callisto keeps all of her clothing in pots. Storm, having played Zelda>, does not. (Uncanny X-Men #292)
Sure, Professor Xavier can be a jerk – but every once in a while, we remember why he runs the school. (Uncanny X-Men #292)
We’ve all got that family member. (Uncanny X-Men #293)
The advantage of being drawn in a 90s superhero comic is that you can do this. (Uncanny X-Men #293)
Everything about that last panel is solid gold. (Uncanny X-Men #293)
I know we say that Cannonball is the best kid or that Warlock is the best kid, but Colossus is kind of also the best kid. (Not that his judgment is necessarily all that great…) (Uncanny X-Men #293)
God, right in the heart. (Uncanny X-Men #293)
NEXT TIME: Miles and Hub talk travel back to the Bronze Age!

The rad lawyer we mentioned in the episode is Katie Lane – check out her website for all kinds of good stuff!

As Mentioned in Episode 202 – Rhapsody in Blue (and Gold)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Man, that cover. (X-Factor #79)
Learning at super-speed! It doesn’t work… (X-Factor #79)
…until it does. (X-Factor #79)
Pietro Maximoff: not just a jerk, but a smart jerk. (X-Factor #79)
Only in X-Factor. (X-Factor #79)
I had the same dream! (X-Factor #79)
You got your 90s in my 90s! (Did you ever feel like a page was written and drawn especially for 10-year-old you?) (X-Factor #80)
Those Stroman crowd scenes, though. (X-Factor #80)
I’m pretty sure that’s not how you fix a broken jaw. Then again, in a universe where Jack Kirby designed most early technology, I guess all bets are off. (X-Factor #80)
And sometimes, when I’m feeling frisky… (X-Factor #80)
This is pretty much what happened the one time I tried to play a harmonica. (X-Factor #80)
Not only did the Genegineer lock Rahne into her transitional wolf form and genetically bond her to a guy she’d barely met, but he made her really bad at poker! Dammit, dude. (X-Factor #80)
“And after this fight, Archangel and I have a shopping date!” (X-Factor #80)
Yep, totally a Sam Keith design. (X-Factor #80)
There are so many ways to make Havok’s powers look cool. (X-Factor #81)
I feel pretty bad for everyone here. Well, not Pietro. (X-Factor #81)
When Guido isn’t busy referencing Murphy Brown, dude can be pretty scary. (X-Factor #81)
Most people think the ubiquity of cell phones was responsible for the death of the pay phone. Nope: it was this guy. (X-Factor #81)
Respect, man. Wait… it was all a trick? Okay, different respect.(X-Factor #81)
To be honest, I’m just including this one for Titan Up the Defense listeners. (X-Factor #81)
NEXT TIME: Man, screw you, Mikhail.

As Mentioned in Episode 201 – Pump Up the Jam

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Damn, that’s a nice cover. (X-Men #10)
I mean, one of them is definitely not playing a part. (X-Men #10)
I know, buddy. I know. (X-Men #10)
Wait for it… (X-Men #10)
*snicker* (X-Men #10)
Throwing this in mostly because it’s a gorgeous panel. (X-Men #10)
Not even the end of the issue, really. (X-Men #10)
Wait, wasn’t Jon Bon Jovi blond in 1992? (X-Men #10)
That is some choice sideeye. (X-Men #11)
A little bit louder, and a little bit worse. (X-Men #11)
“Hey, wanna see if we can make the Psylocke/Cyclops sexual tension even MORE uncomfortable?” (X-Men #11)
TFW you’re just thankful the control booth is lined with Mojonium(TM). (X-Men #11)
Toxic masculinity saves the day! (X-Men #11)
Mojo directing his own murder is a little bit creepy. (X-Men #11)
YOU’D THINK ONCE WOULD HAVE BEEN ENOUGH, BUT NO. (X-Men #11)
“Know what would be the worst, though? If we were all characters in a comic book.” (X-Men #11)
I don’t understand what’s happening around Maverick’s crotch; and frankly, I don’t care to. (X-Men #10)
This guy. (X-Men #10)
Can we get a close-up on that caption, though? (X-Men #10)
GOD FUCKING DAMNIT, HARRAS. (X-Men #10)
Thaaaaaat’s our Maverick! (X-Men #11)
It really, really looks like Professor X’s head isn’t attached to his body. (X-Men #12)
Carter Ryking has come unstuck in time, but not really. (X-Men #12)
Aw, man, it’s nice to have a reminder of why I sometimes really like these two together. (X-Men #12)
I mean, Gambit and Rogue are doing okay, so the dysfunction had to go somewhere… (X-Men #12)
ART CHALLENGE: What’s in the file? Fill in those empty pages! (X-Men #12)
And the skeletons are like, “Dude, we’re RIGHT HERE.” (X-Men #12)
While these are all valid concerns, they’d be alleviated somewhat if anyone ever bothered to draw Professor X with a decent wheelchair. Seriously, X-Men artists, DO SOME BASIC RESEARCH ON THIS. (X-Men #12)
Now there’s a guy who knows how to put the “fun” in “funeral.” (X-Men #12)
Yeah, Logan, don’t get into a feels-off with Rogue. You won’t win. (X-Men #13)
Nicieza’s Beast is really, really good. (X-Men #13)
Aw, Jubilee. (X-Men #13)
Show him what he’s won, Rusty and Skids! (X-Men #13)
NEXT EPISODE: A musical interlude with X-Factor!

Mutant, Trans, and Proud

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We sold out of the pins at ECCC, but this seemed like the right month to put this design on t-shirts (and notebooks, and phone cases, and a bunch of other stuff):

That said, we feel pretty strongly that this is a design that should be in everybody’s hands. You’re of course welcome to buy our merch above; but if you want to DIY your own, you can download a high-resolution stencil below. This stencil is free for use for any non-commercial projects.

It is ALSO free for use on specific commercial projects, with one major caveat (on the honor system):

If your business is not trans-owned, any proceeds from merchandise you sell with this design should go to Trans Lifeline or another trans advocacy organization.

(Also, we’d love to see anything folks make with this, private or commercial!)

Thanks to Dylan Meconis for design and file-formatting assistance!

As Mentioned in Episode 200 – Lightning in a Bottle, with Louise Simonson

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LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING: