Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 218 – Careful What You Lick

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
They are very excited to be here. (Uncanny X-Men #298)
This is exactly how we dress to watch TV, too. (Uncanny X-Men #298)
Ugh, THESE jerks. (Uncanny X-Men #298)
I mean, they were living there anyway, and it’s probably just as well that you saved them from being murdered, but you do you. (Uncanny X-Men #298)
Forge, you have never been reassuring in your life. (Uncanny X-Men #299)
Somewhere, a damp Magneto is skittering around waiting for his new carapace to harden. (Uncanny X-Men #299)
While I get that Warren’s intentions are probably good here, breaking into schools and holding the children while they sleep is generally frowned upon by LITERALLY EVERYONE. (Uncanny X-Men #299)
Look at him evade like a pro. (Uncanny X-Men #299)
BECAUSE WE WERE TOO MENNY (Uncanny X-Men #299)
Hank McCoy for President. (Uncanny X-Men #299)
I wish they just lied continually to Bishop about the modern world. (Uncanny X-Men #299)
Look at all those Xs! (Uncanny X-Men #300)
Forge, settle down, buddy. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
Iceman speaks for us all, here. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
PROFESSOR XAVIER IS KIND OF CREEPY. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
A good hug. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
And that’s why you always leave a note! Or don’t murder Magneto! One of those, probably! (Uncanny X-Men #300)
These villains are not wildly memorable. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
A rematch that’s been a long time coming. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
Even ’90s Cyclops has his moments. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
There’s the mutant metaphor, and then there’s the Jean Grey metaphor, which is related but not identical. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
“Magnets… I’ve had a few…” (Uncanny X-Men #300)
GLOWER. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
And then nobody was ever happy again. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
NEXT EPISODE: The Emma Frost Appreciation Society (feat. Seanan McGuire, Leah Williams, et. al.)

LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE:

 

As Mentioned in Episode 217 – Piotr the Obscure

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Well, that’s not ominous. (X-Men #17)
I like the idea that this dude is the one narrating the story. (X-Men #17)
Darkstar’s family is unreasonably complicated even by Marvel standards. (X-Men #17)
I like to think he watches this like a soap opera. (X-Men #17)
Colossus is still all about cathartic landscaping. (X-Men #17)
This is a very awkward scene, for reasons including but not limited to Scott’s deeply baffling anatomy. (X-Men #17)
Two great tastes that go great together! (X-Men #18)
I’m sure there’s a lot of emotional resonance on this page, but I’m too distracted by the BABY WITH STRYFE’S HEAD to care. (X-Men #18)
CLASSIC. (X-Men #18)
I really appreciate that Illyana appears to be visiting this cover from an entirely different genre, possibly one with hella vampires. (X-Men #19)
Remember the time the X-Men defeated a guy by being TOO ANGSTY FOR HIM TO DIGEST? Because that absolutely happened. (X-Men #19)
That said, the Soul Skinner’s got some angst of his own. (X-Men #19)
Balloon placement matters, kids. (X-Men #19)
Well, then. (X-Men #19)
Ah, mistrust walks, a fundamental of teambuilding. (X-Men #17)
Hi, Revanche. (X-Men #17)
NEXT EPISODE: Uncanny X-Men hits a major milestone!

As Mentioned in Episode 216 – X-Amining X-Factor

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X-Factor does not take particularly well to therapy, to nobody’s particular surprise. (X-Factor #87)
Nope. (X-Factor #87)
Looking forward to a visual companion full of cleverly framed two-person conversations? No? TOO BAD, ‘CAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE GETTING. (X-Factor #87)
It’s rough to be Pietro Maximoff; but at least you get to dress like THAT. (X-Factor #87)
I love how character-specific these layouts are– (X-Factor #87)
–none moreso than Multiple Man’s. (X-Factor #87)
“It doesn’t help that my only hobby is lurking in foliage.” (X-Factor #87)
I’m putting this in so that you’ll get why the next sequence is so clever. (X-Factor #87)
See what I mean? (X-Factor #87)
This could have worked, handled differently; but boy does it not. (X-Factor #87)
SIGH.
Val Cooper is the most sitcom of sitcom bosses. (X-Factor #87)
And that’s why you don’t armchair diagnose! (X-Factor #87)
NEXT EPISODE: Rasputin Family Reunion!

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As Mentioned in Episode 215 – Mon de Orb Uno

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
While this cover may be the first story page, it still follows the general rule of Excalibur covers: It’s funny when bad things happen to Captain Britain. (Excalibur #55)
Aw, they look so fancy! (Excalibur #55)
Alan Davis hair: expressive AND extra! (Excalibur #55)
HIS FOOT POPPED. (Excalibur #55)
Remember this plot thread? Alan Davis does. Alan Davis remembers EVERY plot thread. It is his blessing and his curse. (Excalibur #55)
Speaking of threads… (Excalibur #55)
This is both an excellent disguise and a quality Cross-Time Caper callback. (Excalibur #56)
Oof. (Excalibur #56)
This party is the worst. (Excalibur #56)
Captain Britain X-Plains the Plot. (Excalibur #56)
(There’s a lot of plot.)(Excalibur #56)
On one hand, Sat-Yr-9 is very evil. On the other hand, this is still very satisfying. (Excalibur #56)
Meggan is so badass. (Excalibur #56)
There’s a Monty Python sketch about this. (Excalibur #56)
“Next, you eat the banana, thus disarming him!” (Excalibur #56)
Too little, too late, Nick. (Excalibur #56)
Remember this kid? ALAN DAVIS DOES! (Excalibur #57)
KITTY, NO. (Excalibur #57)
Cyclops X-Plains X-Factor #41-42. (Excalibur #57)
(And so forth.) (Excalibur #57)
I don’t know why this is a thing. It doesn’t actually impact the story in any significant way. (Excalibur #57)
GAMBIT, NO. (Excalibur #57)
These jerks, again. (Excalibur #58)
This is a ruse, except for the part about Cyclops’s secret boot radio, because Cyclops is a nerd. (Excalibur #58)
I really, really want to know more about Margaret. (Excalibur #58)
TEAM-UP! (Excalibur #58)
Amazing what they cover in undergrad chemistry programs these days. (Excalibur #58)
JUST USE THE PHONE YOU RIDICULOUS PEOPLE (Excalibur #58)
And they all lived happily ever after! (Excalibur #58)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor vs. therapy, with guest X-Pert Dr. Andrea Letamendi!

LINKS & FURTHER MISADVENTURES

As Mentioned in Episode 214 – Stryfe’s Burn Book

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Look at this gorgeous monstrosity. (Stryfe’s Strike File)
This dude would not appear in the main Marvel Universe until about a decade after he was introduced here. (Stryfe’s Strike File)
FORESHADOWING! (Stryfe’s Strike File)
Mystique’s worst kid, by a fairly wide margin. (Stryfe’s Strike File)
Remember her; she’ll be a big deal later. (Stryfe’s Strike File)
Stryfe: The Worst Kid in Your Fandom. (Stryfe’s Strike File)
SPOILER: This cover is profoundly misleading. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
WARREN KENNETH WORTHINGTON III, YOU DID WHAT?! (Uncanny X-Men #297)
A rare moment of candor from Professor X. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
The only part of this issue that I REALLY have trouble believing is that Jubilee was carying around a second pair of ‘blades just for funsies. Those things are cumbersome as heck. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
DAMNIT, JUBILEE. THIS IS WHY NOBODY TRUSTS YOU. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
Aw. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
And Aw, again. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
Yet a third Aw. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
She’s beauty, she’s grace, she’ll explode your face. (X-Force #19)
Bobby has had a pretty rough year. (X-Force #19)
Slow clap. (X-Force #19)
Vanessa is not having a great time post-X-Force. (X-Force #19)
PHOENIX II DECOLLETAGE! (X-Force #19)
Those are actually… really snazzy team uniforms. Dang. (X-Force #19)
And that was the end of THAT particular metaphor. (X-Force #19)
NEXT EPISODE: Rich people are different from us.

LINKS & FURTHER CONVERSATIONS:

As Mentioned in Episode 213 – Live from FlameCon

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Live at FlameCon! Left to Right: Leah, Sina, Mags, Jay, Miles

 

Look who finally got a proper con banner!

 

OH MY GOSH LOOK AT ALL THESE SKETCHES! (We also forgot to photograph a ton of the ones we did, including one of Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau in a Speedo. We are very sorry.)

Rogue, by Miles
Warlock, by Jay
Phoenix, by Miles
Business-Casual Cyclops, by Jay
Archangel, by Miles
Dazzler, by Jay
Phoenix II / Marvel Girl / Prestige, by Miles
MAGNETO! sharpie tats, by Jay
Iceman, by Miles
Quentin Quire, by Jay
Anole, by Miles
Jubilee, by Miles
Warlock, by Jay
Dark Phoenix, by Miles
Phoenix Quentin Quire, by Miles
Rictor, by Jay
Rogue, by Miles
Cyclops, by Jay
Wolverine, by Miles
A good drawing, which is how you can tell it’s not by us: Cyclops Has a Good Day, for Jay’s sketchbook, by Amy Reeder!
NEXT EPISODE: Stryfe’s Burn Book!

LINKS & FURTHER TANGENTS

As Mentioned in Episode 212 – Drumbeats of Despair

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
(Actually, it’s part of a triptych! Here are all three, together at last!)
Damnit, Stryfe. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Ew. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Including this entirely for Archangel’s epic grumpy face. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Alas, the podcast JY & Miles X-Plain the X-Men won’t exist for another 23 years. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Say what you will about Scott and Jean, but they’re aware of their own cliches. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Of course. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
The number of unsettling ways in which X-artists can mess up drawing babies never ceases to impress. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
“Also, sorry ’bout your table.” (Uncanny X-Men #296)
“Remember,” said the editor, “Every comic is somebody’s first!” (X-Factor #86)
Seriously, though, that could not get more Patrick Nagel if Patrick Nagel had drawn it. (X-Factor #86)
“AND I’LL BE THE HEAD!” (X-Factor #86)
THIS. PAGE. (X-Factor #86)
No, not particularly. (X-Factor #86)
Seriously: Ew. (X-Factor #86)
“Eh, I got nowhere else to be.” (X-Factor #86)
They’re so enormous and heavily armed! (X-Men #16)
Aw, man, this is a really good heroic moment. (X-Men #16)
WHOOPS. (X-Men #16)
Well, that’s portentous. (X-Men #16)
Stryfe’s tirades remain an impressive mix of incredibly specific and frustratingly vague. (X-Force #18)
Possibly the most Stryfe line of the entire event. (X-Force #18)
Dang, Cable. (X-Force #18)
“Like, organs and stuff.” (X-Force #18)
I’d like to think that Stryfe is angriest about the pun. (X-Force #18)
SPOILER: He’ll be okay, at least by Cable standards. (X-Force #18)
Maybe it’s a universal remote! SERIOUSLY, CYCLOPS, I KNOW YOU WERE RECENTLY DEPRIVED OF OXYGEN, BUT IT’S VERY CLEARLY A DETONATOR. (X-Force #18)
Ouch. (X-Force #18)
NEXT EPISODE: Live from FlameCon, featuring Sina Grace, Magdalene Visaggio, and Leah Williams!

LINKS & FURTHER MISHAPS:

As Mentioned in Episode 211 – A Cornucopia of Mayhem

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Really, though, it was all just a hilarious misunderstanding. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
I’m just gonna let Jubilee caption this one… (Uncanny X-Men #295)
…Yep. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
PSYLOCKE, MURDER IS OCCASIONALLY NOT THE ANSWER. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
This is not actually a lot like child-rearing. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
It is very, very 1992 in here. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
Aw, Sam. You’re a good kid. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
NEXT ISSUE: Three men without inside voices. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
Sure, why not? (X-Factor #85)
Even Apocalypse is horrified by the ramifications of this mess. (X-Factor #85)
Compromise is the heart of teamwork! (X-Factor #85)
I really love both the art in this issue and Dragoness’s design as drawn by Jae Lee. (X-Factor #85)
It’s a metaphor! With robots! Probably! (X-Factor #85)
Awk-ward. (X-Factor #85)
You see what I mean about the DragonQuest thing? (X-Men #15)
Why is Psylocke standing like this mid-fight? Or at all, honestly? A MYSTERY FOR THE AGES. (X-Men #15)
I’m glad that Colossus’s Angst Landscaping has persevered. (X-Men #15)
No, Stryfe. And I think you know that. (X-Men #15)
new body who dis (X-Men #15)
NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU, STRYFE. (X-Force #17)
Oh, that’ll end well. (X-Force #17)
Logan ABSOLUTELY deserved that. (X-Force #17)
Ouch. (X-Force #17)
Objectively, I know that X-Men #137 callbacks are calculated manipulation, BUT THEY ALWAYS WORK ANYWAY. (X-Force #17)
NEXT EPISODE: Man, this is a long event.

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As Mentioned in Episode 210 – The End of Tomorrow

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
What Rogue’s wearing was actually our school uniform back in 1992! (Uncanny X-Men #294)
Scott, you chowderhead. (Uncanny X-Men #294)
Do NOT invite Caliban to your wedding. Or probably to anything. (Uncanny X-Men #294)
You know, sometimes Professor Xavier really isn’t a jerk. (Uncanny X-Men #294)
Professor Xavier is shot in the dark future of Earth-811… (New Mutants #18)
…and in the dark present of Earth-616. (Uncanny X-Men #294)
Kids, your day is not going to get better from here. (Uncanny X-Men #294)
Have we mentioned we love Jae Lee’s art? We love Jae Lee’s art. (X-Factor #84)
At karaoke, Archangel’s voice is just okay, but his performance is 10/10. (X-Factor #84)
I mean, let’s be real – that’s pretty hot. (X-Factor #84)
EVERYBODY FIGHTS EVERYBODY (X-Factor #84)
The X-Men are so good at posing in this era. (X-Factor #84)
“Dear diary: I finally said it! I said the line!” (X-Factor #84)
Man, Andy Kubert could draw someone doing their taxes and it’d look superheroic. (X-Men #14)
Except that time 16 years later when you shoot him in the head, ya doof. (X-Men #14)
Jean Grey: CGC 8.4 Scott Summers: CGC 7.2 (X-Men #14)
Not Rictor’s best pickup line… But also not his worst. (X-Men #14)
Apocalypse, you have got to turn your shower temperature down. That hot water is awful for your skin. (X-Men #14)
That’s a clove cigarette, in case you can’t tell. (X-Men #14)
X-Force: both very sympathetic and very colorful! I miss when badasses wore colors other than black. (X-Force #16)
EVERYBODY FIGHTS EVERYBODY SOME MORE (X-Force #16)
“You see, Piotr, this is how we entered every building back in our X-Factor days!” (X-Force #16)
Mister Sinister: pleased as punch. (X-Force #16)
There’s seriously nothing we can add to this. (X-Force #16)
Best not to dwell. (X-Force #16)
NEXT EPISODE: It is definitely not.

LINKS & FURTHER ADVENTURES:

As Mentioned in Episode 209 – To Me, My X-Books

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
COME SEE US AT FLAMECON! SERIOUSLY! IT’LL BE RAD AS HELL!
Longshot Saves the Marvel Universe is a delightful series and you should all go read it immediately.
You heard it here first: No wang beams.
NEXT EPISODE: X-CUTIONER’S SONG BEGINS!

LINKS & FURTHER DIVERSIONS: