Blog Posts – Page 26 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

223 – Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival

November 18, 2018 Jay 3 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Dracula probably doesn’t drink his blood from a World’s Greatest Dad mug; Miles massively underestimates the cultural ubiquity of Sexy Dracula; Bill Sienkiewicz may or may not have ever seen a bat; Kitty gets possessed; and Dazzler is singularly well suited to a Vegas residency.

X-PLAINED:

Dracula’s ungrateful children
Marvel Dracula
A fortuitously named writer
Rachel Van Helsing
X-Men #159 (again) (briefly)
Sexy Dracula
The secret origin of sexy Draculas
Fastball Special body mechanics
X-Men Annual #6
A nightmare
“Bats”
Yet another Castle Dracula
The Montesi Formula
Sound effects, spoken or otherwise
Lilith
Chairs
The relative efficacy of holy symbols against Dracula
X-Vegas
Characters we have grown to love as a result of the podcast

NEXT EPISODE: Fix the future!

Check out the visual companion to this episode–along with Jay’s convention sketches–on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 222 – A Tale of Two Betsys

November 11, 2018 Jay 5 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Spoiler: It’s Betsy Braddock’s original body. (X-Men #20)

Does it seem weird to anyone else that Jubilee is putting her skates on in Professor X’s news den? Is there even room for that? (X-Men #20)

That’s not how gravity OR abs work. (X-Men #20)

BETSY NO (X-Men #20)

We have reached peak Scott Summers. (X-Men #20)

This stuff will be a running backbeat to the remainder of Scott and Jean’s relationship. (X-Men #20)

WHAT?! (X-Men #20)

These reaction faces are priceless. (X-Men #20)

Sure, that’s what you CLAIM, but so far Colossus has not thrown Devil Dinosaur at anybody, so I’m suspicious. (X-Men #21)

Kwannon seems to like posing for pictures about as much as Jay does. (X-Men #21)

Same face, same hair–who wore it better?! (X-Men #21)

This guy, AGAIN. (X-Men #21)

At this point, Matsuo’s hair may actually be more aggressively styled than Wolverine’s. (X-Men #22)

Betsy and/or Kwannon X-Plains Betsy and/or Kwannon. (X-Men #22)

“As completely as I understand what happens when two people like each other very much.” (X-Men #23)

And so forth. (X-Men #23)

And you thought that conversations with YOUR grandparents were awkward. (X-Men #22)

The creepiest thing about Sinister is the moments of profound disconnect when it’s clearly Sinister, but everyone reacts to him like he’s just a regular dude. (X-Men #22)

In which Scott Summers continues to never under any circumstances be allowed to take an actual vacation. (X-Men #22)

Seriously. (X-Men #23)

Heralding several decades of nonsense. (X-Men #23)

NEXT EPISODE: Dracula, live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival!

LINKS & FURTHER SORROWS

Listen to our discussion of Psylocke’s original transformation–featuring author Sarah Kuhn–in Episode 137 – Kicky Kinko Killers.
Marvel’s current EiC has a particularly ugly history when it comes to appropriation of Japanese culture and identities.

Jay & Miles Storytime Special (featuring the PDX Broadsides)

November 8, 2018 Jay 6 comments

In the aftermath of Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival, we sat down for a wholesome, old-fashioned read-aloud, followed by a visit (and performance!) from the PDX Broadsides!

Special thanks to Max, without whom this monstrosity would never have been possible.

As Mentioned in Episode 221 – Better Than LEGO

November 5, 2018 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Bella, as seen on FaceTime between rounds of headbutting the phone.

The late, great, immensely fluffy Buzz Lightyear.

What, you thought this whole thing was just gonna be photos of cats? (Sorry) (X-Force #20)

Whoops. (X-Force #20)

That hair, though! Why, Shatterstar? WHY? (X-Force #20)

Those spacesuits look incredibly cumbersome. (X-Force #20)

You never forget your favorite ship. (X-Force #20)

That is a GREAT use of a spread. (X-Force #20)

X-Force really only has the one setting. (X-Force #21)

Aw. AW. (X-Force #21)

AWWWWWWWWW (X-Force #21)

“THE TEETH COMMAND IT!” (X-Force #21)

And that’s why you always leave a note. (X-Force #21)

“The guns were inside you all along!” (X-Force #22)

Well, then. (X-Force #22)

But he looks so happy about it! (X-Force #22)

I was gonna make a callback to that one tangent about how Cable probably carries a bunch of tampons because they are useful and he seems like the kind of dude who has a good attitude about menstruation, but it seemed too forced. (X-Force #22)

This is both excessive and silly, Gideon. (X-Force #22)

“Am I forever damned to eat crackers sideways?!” (X-Force #23)

Look at him! He’s just propped up in the corner! (X-Force #23)

OH, SNAP! (X-Force #23)

I’m still kind of peeved that this isn’t spelled out in Sam’s accent. It just feels wrong like this. (X-Force #23)

NEXT EPISODE: Psylocke vs. Revanche!

LINKS & FURTHER MONSTROSITIES:

As Mentioned in Episode 220 – On Your Bike

October 29, 2018 Jay 4 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Who wore it better? (Excalibur #61)

I’m pretty sure nobody actually cares about Micromax; but, whatever. (Excalibur #61)

Widget, stop that immediately. (Excalibur #61)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (Excalibur #61)

If there’s anything this series has taught us, it’s never to trust a man named Nigel. (Excalibur #62)

In case you’re wondering, most of this visual companion is going to be pictures of cool-looking Warpies. (Excalibur #62)

No, seriously. (Excalibur #62)

Aw, Beetroot. (Excalibur #62)

This poor kid. (Excalibur #62)

*Snerk* (Excalibur #62)

WARPIES, THO (Excalibur #63)

Aw. (Excalibur #63)

What’s that you say? More Warpies? WE’VE GOT YOUR BACK! (Excalibur #63)

I’m not even going to bother captioning these. You know the drill. (Excalibur #63)

(Excalibur #63)

Widget and the amazing technicolor future genocide by giant r–well, that took a bit of a turn. (Excalibur #64)

PRO TIP: If you stare long enough at your friends and neighbors’ faces without blinking, they will also do this eventually. (Excalibur #65)

Rowr. (Excalibur #65)

“Well, that can’t be good.” (Excalibur #65)

Ouch, dang. (Excalibur #65)

Aw, Oak. You’re a good dude. (Excalibur #65)

And that, as they say, is that. For now. (Excalibur #65)

NEXT EPISODE: Space Fight!

LINKS & FURTHER DUBIOUS LIFE CHOICES:

COME SEE US THIS COMING WEEKEND AT VEGAS VALLEY COMIC BOOK FESTIVAL!
For more in-depth coverage of pre-Excalibur Captain Britain, check out Episode 97 – The Crooked World and Episode 98 – Between Alien Visitations and Drunken Sulks.
Jay wasn’t kidding about the kid from Flight of the Navigator robbing a bank.

As Mentioned in Episode 218 – Careful What You Lick

October 21, 2018 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

They are very excited to be here. (Uncanny X-Men #298)

This is exactly how we dress to watch TV, too. (Uncanny X-Men #298)

Ugh, THESE jerks. (Uncanny X-Men #298)

I mean, they were living there anyway, and it’s probably just as well that you saved them from being murdered, but you do you. (Uncanny X-Men #298)

Forge, you have never been reassuring in your life. (Uncanny X-Men #299)

Somewhere, a damp Magneto is skittering around waiting for his new carapace to harden. (Uncanny X-Men #299)

While I get that Warren’s intentions are probably good here, breaking into schools and holding the children while they sleep is generally frowned upon by LITERALLY EVERYONE. (Uncanny X-Men #299)

Look at him evade like a pro. (Uncanny X-Men #299)

BECAUSE WE WERE TOO MENNY (Uncanny X-Men #299)

Hank McCoy for President. (Uncanny X-Men #299)

I wish they just lied continually to Bishop about the modern world. (Uncanny X-Men #299)

Look at all those Xs! (Uncanny X-Men #300)

Forge, settle down, buddy. (Uncanny X-Men #300)

Iceman speaks for us all, here. (Uncanny X-Men #300)

PROFESSOR XAVIER IS KIND OF CREEPY. (Uncanny X-Men #300)

A good hug. (Uncanny X-Men #300)

And that’s why you always leave a note! Or don’t murder Magneto! One of those, probably! (Uncanny X-Men #300)

These villains are not wildly memorable. (Uncanny X-Men #300)

A rematch that’s been a long time coming. (Uncanny X-Men #300)

Even ’90s Cyclops has his moments. (Uncanny X-Men #300)

There’s the mutant metaphor, and then there’s the Jean Grey metaphor, which is related but not identical. (Uncanny X-Men #300)

“Magnets… I’ve had a few…” (Uncanny X-Men #300)

GLOWER. (Uncanny X-Men #300)

And then nobody was ever happy again. (Uncanny X-Men #300)

NEXT EPISODE: The Emma Frost Appreciation Society (feat. Seanan McGuire, Leah Williams, et. al.)

LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE:

Come see us at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival!
The delightful PDX Broadsides will also be there!
This episode involves a LOT of references to past story arcs. Here’s where you can hear us talk about those:
- Learn about one of the less obvious reasons not to masturbate with cacti in Episode 78 – The Eye Killers and Other Cautionary Tales.
- You can hear about the beginning of X-Men vol. 2 in Episode 178 – Giant-Size Special #6.
- We covered God Loves, Man Kills in Giant-Size Special #1.
You can see Miles’s childhood X-Men drawings in Jay & Miles Made a Zine About the X-Men, now available on Gumroad!

As Mentioned in Episode 217 – Piotr the Obscure

October 14, 2018 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Well, that’s not ominous. (X-Men #17)

I like the idea that this dude is the one narrating the story. (X-Men #17)

Darkstar’s family is unreasonably complicated even by Marvel standards. (X-Men #17)

I like to think he watches this like a soap opera. (X-Men #17)

Colossus is still all about cathartic landscaping. (X-Men #17)

This is a very awkward scene, for reasons including but not limited to Scott’s deeply baffling anatomy. (X-Men #17)

Two great tastes that go great together! (X-Men #18)

I’m sure there’s a lot of emotional resonance on this page, but I’m too distracted by the BABY WITH STRYFE’S HEAD to care. (X-Men #18)

CLASSIC. (X-Men #18)

I really appreciate that Illyana appears to be visiting this cover from an entirely different genre, possibly one with hella vampires. (X-Men #19)

Remember the time the X-Men defeated a guy by being TOO ANGSTY FOR HIM TO DIGEST? Because that absolutely happened. (X-Men #19)

That said, the Soul Skinner’s got some angst of his own. (X-Men #19)

Balloon placement matters, kids. (X-Men #19)

Well, then. (X-Men #19)

Ah, mistrust walks, a fundamental of teambuilding. (X-Men #17)

Hi, Revanche. (X-Men #17)

NEXT EPISODE: Uncanny X-Men hits a major milestone!

As Mentioned in Episode 216 – X-Amining X-Factor

September 30, 2018 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

X-Factor does not take particularly well to therapy, to nobody’s particular surprise. (X-Factor #87)

Nope. (X-Factor #87)

Looking forward to a visual companion full of cleverly framed two-person conversations? No? TOO BAD, ‘CAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE GETTING. (X-Factor #87)

It’s rough to be Pietro Maximoff; but at least you get to dress like THAT. (X-Factor #87)

I love how character-specific these layouts are– (X-Factor #87)

–none moreso than Multiple Man’s. (X-Factor #87)

“It doesn’t help that my only hobby is lurking in foliage.” (X-Factor #87)

I’m putting this in so that you’ll get why the next sequence is so clever. (X-Factor #87)

See what I mean? (X-Factor #87)

This could have worked, handled differently; but boy does it not. (X-Factor #87)

SIGH.

Val Cooper is the most sitcom of sitcom bosses. (X-Factor #87)

And that’s why you don’t armchair diagnose! (X-Factor #87)

NEXT EPISODE: Rasputin Family Reunion!

LINKS & FURTHER ANALYSES:

Follow Dr. Andrea Letamendi on Twitter; and check out The Arkham Sessions!
Wally Wood’s 22 Panels are legendary for a reason.
For more on David Haller and representations of mental illness in X-Books, check out Episode 44 – Assembling Legion, with Si Spurrier.
If you can’t get enough out of the intersection of fictional therapy and podcasting, we recommend the hell out of The Bright Sessions.

As Mentioned in Episode 215 – Mon de Orb Uno

September 23, 2018 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

While this cover may be the first story page, it still follows the general rule of Excalibur covers: It’s funny when bad things happen to Captain Britain. (Excalibur #55)

Aw, they look so fancy! (Excalibur #55)

Alan Davis hair: expressive AND extra! (Excalibur #55)

HIS FOOT POPPED. (Excalibur #55)

Remember this plot thread? Alan Davis does. Alan Davis remembers EVERY plot thread. It is his blessing and his curse. (Excalibur #55)

Speaking of threads… (Excalibur #55)

This is both an excellent disguise and a quality Cross-Time Caper callback. (Excalibur #56)

Oof. (Excalibur #56)

This party is the worst. (Excalibur #56)

Captain Britain X-Plains the Plot. (Excalibur #56)

(There’s a lot of plot.)(Excalibur #56)

On one hand, Sat-Yr-9 is very evil. On the other hand, this is still very satisfying. (Excalibur #56)

Meggan is so badass. (Excalibur #56)

There’s a Monty Python sketch about this. (Excalibur #56)

“Next, you eat the banana, thus disarming him!” (Excalibur #56)

Too little, too late, Nick. (Excalibur #56)

Remember this kid? ALAN DAVIS DOES! (Excalibur #57)

KITTY, NO. (Excalibur #57)

Cyclops X-Plains X-Factor #41-42. (Excalibur #57)

(And so forth.) (Excalibur #57)

I don’t know why this is a thing. It doesn’t actually impact the story in any significant way. (Excalibur #57)

GAMBIT, NO. (Excalibur #57)

These jerks, again. (Excalibur #58)

This is a ruse, except for the part about Cyclops’s secret boot radio, because Cyclops is a nerd. (Excalibur #58)

I really, really want to know more about Margaret. (Excalibur #58)

TEAM-UP! (Excalibur #58)

Amazing what they cover in undergrad chemistry programs these days. (Excalibur #58)

JUST USE THE PHONE YOU RIDICULOUS PEOPLE (Excalibur #58)

And they all lived happily ever after! (Excalibur #58)

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor vs. therapy, with guest X-Pert Dr. Andrea Letamendi!

LINKS & FURTHER MISADVENTURES

You can hear all about Tom and the trolls’ first encounter in Episode 118 – Extrude the Grappling Arms!
Here is one way to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana.
The Brussels Sewer Museum is super cool, and if you get the chance, you should absolutely check it out.

As Mentioned in Episode 214 – Stryfe’s Burn Book

September 16, 2018 Jay 7 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Look at this gorgeous monstrosity. (Stryfe’s Strike File)

This dude would not appear in the main Marvel Universe until about a decade after he was introduced here. (Stryfe’s Strike File)

FORESHADOWING! (Stryfe’s Strike File)

Mystique’s worst kid, by a fairly wide margin. (Stryfe’s Strike File)

Remember her; she’ll be a big deal later. (Stryfe’s Strike File)

Stryfe: The Worst Kid in Your Fandom. (Stryfe’s Strike File)

SPOILER: This cover is profoundly misleading. (Uncanny X-Men #297)

WARREN KENNETH WORTHINGTON III, YOU DID WHAT?! (Uncanny X-Men #297)

A rare moment of candor from Professor X. (Uncanny X-Men #297)

The only part of this issue that I REALLY have trouble believing is that Jubilee was carying around a second pair of ‘blades just for funsies. Those things are cumbersome as heck. (Uncanny X-Men #297)

DAMNIT, JUBILEE. THIS IS WHY NOBODY TRUSTS YOU. (Uncanny X-Men #297)

Aw. (Uncanny X-Men #297)

And Aw, again. (Uncanny X-Men #297)

Yet a third Aw. (Uncanny X-Men #297)

She’s beauty, she’s grace, she’ll explode your face. (X-Force #19)

Bobby has had a pretty rough year. (X-Force #19)

Slow clap. (X-Force #19)

Vanessa is not having a great time post-X-Force. (X-Force #19)

PHOENIX II DECOLLETAGE! (X-Force #19)

Those are actually… really snazzy team uniforms. Dang. (X-Force #19)

And that was the end of THAT particular metaphor. (X-Force #19)

NEXT EPISODE: Rich people are different from us.

LINKS & FURTHER CONVERSATIONS:

Check out the first Very Official Episode Transcript, over on the J&M wiki!
(Did you know we have a wiki? We have a wiki!)
If you want to get involved in the transcripts–or just hang out with rad folks–come join us on Discord! (Transcription organization happens in the Greymalkin channel.)
You can hear the WHAT?! supercut in Episode 52!

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