Blog Posts – Page 23 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 250 – Minding the DNA, feat. Fabian Nicieza

June 2, 2019 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

There’s no visual companion to this episode, but here’s some cool stuff we talked about!

Here’s Fabian on Twitter!
You can read Outrage here!
Special thanks to Shatterstarologist Charlie of The Young Ones for lending their X-Pertise to the cold open!

As Mentioned in Episode 249 – The Parent Trap

May 26, 2019 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Sieniewicz, ahoy! (X-Men Unlimited #3)

I can’t stop imagining some poor craftsman meticulously working on this window and then disappearing forever. (X-Men Unlimited #3)

We have fun. (X-Men Unlimited #3)

“We’ll kill him sometime between 8 AM and maybe about 1 PM on Monday, unless we have to cancel.” (X-Men Unlimited #3)

I like this guy. He’s sensible and he dresses like a Capcom protagonist. (X-Men Unlimited #3)

Spoiler: Nah. (X-Men Unlimited #3)

Maverick is pretty much the worst houseguest. (X-Men Unlimited #3)

THAT FACE. (X-Men Unlimited #3)

Supersenses out of nowhere would be pretty awful. (X-Men Unlimited #3)

Damn, Creed. (X-Men Unlimited #3)

I like that it’s unclear which of them constitutes the main threat in this horror scene. (X-Men Unlimited #3)

How much funnier would this cover have been with Graydon? (X-Men Unlimited #4)

Mystique takes pride in her murder-work. (X-Men Unlimited #4)

After he storms out, the camera goes soft-focus and she sings “Somewhere That’s Green.” (X-Men Unlimited #4)

Parenting lessons with Kurt Wagner! (X-Men Unlimited #4)

Mystique is so classy. (X-Men Unlimited #4)

Nobody will tell him. It’s the tragedy equivalent of a running joke. (X-Men Unlimited #4)

This kid! (X-Men Unlimited #4)

Family is where the skulls are. (X-Men Unlimited #4)

And you thought Summers family reunions were awkward! (X-Men Unlimited #4)

Moms, amirite? (X-Men Unlimited #4)

Oof, that footnote. (X-Men Unlimited #4)

Family! (X-Men Unlimited #4)

NEXT EPISODE: Fabian Nicieza!

LINKS & FURTHER MUTATIONS:

Go look at Peter Nguyen’s Gifted illustrations and cry for the comics that might have been!

As Mentioned in Episode 248 – Destructo Woman

May 19, 2019 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Sure! Why not? What could POSSIBLY go wrong? (Excalibur #72)

‘Kay. (Excalibur #73)

Damnit, Siena Blaze. (Excalibur #73)

Phoenix demands proportionate arms! (Excalibur #73)

I don’t know why the fact that Moira kept Proteus’s entire genome on CD-ROM strikes me as hilarious; but it really, really does. (Excalibur #73)

Yelling in the Timestream: The Brian Braddock and Rachel Summers Story. (Excalibur #74)

You see the eyes, right? (Excalibur #74)

The odds that Mr. Sinister got that knife at a mall kiosk are basically 100%. (Excalibur #74)

You’re a good kid, Jubilee. (Excalibur #74)

I like to think they’re both just yelling. (X-Force #31)

The garden is a metaphor that is also a real garden. (X-Force #31)

Why is this random blonde dude so hung up on the Cassidy family? We’ll never know. (X-Force #31)

I just really love those yelling pages. (X-Force #31)

“And yet, despite all those years of gardening, I’m still not sure how to hold a rake.” (X-Force #31)

He’s an angry tree, but he’s an angry tree who cares. (X-Force #31)

NEXT EPISODE: More family fun!

As Mentioned in Episode 247 – The Butt-Kick Scale

May 12, 2019 Jay 5 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In French, Sabretooth’s name is “Dents du Sabre,” and it’s not nearly as menacing. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1)

“Fetch the pestridder, Birdy–We’ve got ninjas in the rutabagas.” (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1)

As seen in Marvel vs. Capcom !(Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1)

Sabretooth is a terrible boss, but marginally better than the Hand, maybe, I guess. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1)

Ah, yes, the sound of telepathic soothing: PHOOOOOO. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1)

Note the arms and the axe. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1)

TURBO-SABRETOOTH! (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1)

Tribune: Banker. Politician. Pundit. Supervillain. Definitely about to go to BotCon cosplaying his OC. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1)

This series has consistently excellent covers. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #2)

I was going to make an Elements of Style joke based on that sound effect, but it seemed like kind of a stretch. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #2)

HI, MYSTIQUE! (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #2)

Do you think Mystique spends an inordinate amount of time researching who from the pasts of people she knows will make them the most uncomfortable? Probably. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #2)

I’m not saying this is peak Mystique; but I’m also not saying it’s not. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #2)

Sabretooth: Death Hunt #3: Large Angry Men Yelling!

TEETH. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #3)

I appreciate this panel so damn much. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #3)

“Look at us: just a pair of stone cold badasses doing stone-cold badass stuff.” (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #3)

‘Kay. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #3)

HOW DID HE FIT THE PAULDRONS UNDER THE TUXEDO? (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #3)

I love that Mystique still has her cigarette holder. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #3)

rghrargh (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #4)

OKAY THEN (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #4)

YEP THIS SURE IS HAPPENING (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #4)

AND SO IS THIS (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #4)

SURE WHY NOT (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #4)

AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER PROBABLY (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #4)

NEXT EPISODE: There should be leprechauns, and there aren’t, and I’m still angry about it.

And now, for your edutainment, a selection of Mark Trail panels, presented in no particular order:

marktrail_a_little_something_about_wildlife

LINKS & FURTHER WOODLAND CREATURES:

Experience the magic of Mark Trail for yourself.
If Jay wrote a Mark Trail parody Twitter account–which we’re certainly not admitting that he does–it would probably read exactly like this one.
The D- Poems of Jeremy Bloom is one of many delightful novels by Gordon Korman, who was a mainstay of Jay’s childhood. (It’s so weird that there are Bruno & Boots movies now!)

As Mentioned in Episode 246 – Foreshadow Puppets

May 5, 2019 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Four arms–and a conscience. (X-Force #27)

Does he just live in Gyrich’s garage? Or, like, under the lawn? (X-Force #27)

Too many muscles for one panel: The X-Force Story. (X-Force #27)

Who’s that? SURELY not Danielle Moonstar! (X-Force #27)

‘Kay. (X-Force #28)

And that’s the last we’ll see of Sunspot for a while. (X-Force #28)

Sometimes it’s like that. (X-Force #28)

Confirmed canonical: Shatterstar’s hair is independently mobile. (X-Force #29)

What happened to Sam, and who is this alarmingly beefy stranger? (X-Force #29)

Cable is leaning full into the Dad thing these days; and I, for one, am here for it. (X-Force #29)

I’m fairly sure that I saw this movie in an 8th-grade assembly. (X-Force #29)

Kids these days, amirite? (X-Force #29)

Based on her facial expression, I imagine her delivering this line in roughly the style of Aubrey Plaza as April Ludgate. (X-Force #29)

Sure thing, buddy. (X-Force #29)

Look at these angry, pointy boys. (X-Force #30)

So angry. So pointy. (X-Force #30)

Angry but not pointy. (X-Force #30)

“You’ll probably do okay; you’re not a major character.” (X-Force #30)

How much better would this issue have been if they’d done a skate-off? (X-Force #30)

Don’t worry, he’ll be fine. (X-Force #30)

Aw, look at him learning to person! (X-Force #30)

NEXT EPISODE: More spiky people yelling!

LINKS & FURTHER CONSUMABLES:

Mandy may be the quintessential Nic Cage movie.
We first washed up on the shores of Octopusheim in Episode 19 – Acorns & Swords!

As Mentioned in Episode 245 – Natural Causes

April 28, 2019 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

I love this cover, and I love this series. (Rogue #1)

I wonder if she just kisses planes every once in a while just in case one turns out to be a Transformer. (Rogue #1)

And that’s how we deal with street harassers. (Rogue #1)

Rogue’s backstory has stayed remarkably consistent over the years, especially by X-Men standards. (Rogue #1)

Gambit’s awkward facial expressions in this series are absolutely delightful. (Rogue #1)

Oh. THIS guy. (Rogue #1)

Meanwhile in a late ’80s music video… (Rogue #1)

The Assassins’ guild has the weirdest cell phone plans. (Rogue #1)

Gambit gets a lot more interesting when you realize his flirting is largely performative. (Rogue #2)

The uncontested champions of Pairs’ Punching! (Rogue #2)

Oh, hell, yeah. (Rogue #2)

As a responsible teacher, Wolverine makes sure to brief all his students about Inverse Ninja Law. (Rogue #3)

“I WAS coming up with new cheers, but den you showed up on dat motorcycle.” (Rogue #3)

I didn’t notice this my first time through, but what the HELL is going on with Lapin’s facial hair? (Rogue #3)

Oh. Hell. Yeah. (Rogue #3)

OH HELL YEAH (Rogue #4)

Seriously, why is Cody eight years old? (Rogue #4)

NEXT EPISODE: Pointy boys, yelling!

LINKS & FURTHER ADVENTURES:

The popular perception of Juggaloes is both inaccurate and classist as hell. Don’t be that guy.
Jay is not wrong about Gambit and Johnny Castle.
Conservation of Ninjutsu (as illustrated in The Adventures of Dr. McNinja)
SERIOUSLY, DON’T PULL THE KNIFE OUT!!!!!

As Mentioned in Episode 244 – Terminal Nudity

April 21, 2019 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

You can tell he’s evil because he’s the only assassin who… wears black? (Gambit #1)

“And how is your mustache?!” (Gambit #1)

Wolverine is basically the Mary Worth of the X-Men. (Gambit #1)

…Okay, yeah, I get why he’s kind of cool. (Gambit #1)

You can tell the captions are serious business because of the fake torn edges. (Gambit #1)

It seems weird that the first thing he did was throw his coat over her. That’s weird, right? (Gambit #2)

Maybe the accents skip a generation. (Gambit #2)

They have fun. (Gambit #2)

The Tithe Collector knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men! (Gambit #2)

No, seriously, look at this Shadow-looking dude. (Gambit #2)

Fashion! (Gambit #3)

Well played. (Gambit #3)

I just really love that he changes into THIS for infiltration. (Gambit #3)

Candra got over pants centuries ago. (Gambit #3)

It’s cool that she survives and everything; but, ew. (Gambit #4)

Remy “John Constantine” LeBeau. (Gambit #3)

NEXT EPISODE: Rogue’s turn!

LINKS & FURTHER DRAMA:

Jay is writing a thing that may be relevant to your interests in the intersection of Marvel and audio.
We first encountered the T’ieves’ Guild in Episode 194 – Brood Trouble in the Big Easy.
Go watch Intacto; it’s brilliant.
The Thief of Always is basically Clive Barker in Ray Bradbury drag. It’s not going to blow your mind; but it’s a fun read.
As a gloomy ’90s teen, Jay was of course very into The Crow; which holds up surprisingly well. It can’t rain all the time!

As Mentioned in Episode 243 – And Now We Are Five

April 14, 2019 Jay 6 comments

Listen to the episode here!

These are the episodes we mentioned, in chronological order:

And, just for kicks, here are all the episodes with songs:

Special thanks to all our patrons; to Bobby Roberts, Kyle Yount, Kurt Loyd, Matt Hunter, David Wynne, Mike Miller, Katie Proctor, Books With Pictures, The Steep & Thorny Way to Heaven, Phoenix Comics & Games, Tea Fougner, Anna Sheffey, our families, and the Mutant Revolution Discord; and to the X-Men and everyone who’s given them life over the last 56 years. Mutatis Mutandis!

As Mentioned in Episode 242 – Spider-Mansfield Park

April 7, 2019 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Okay, then. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)

…Actually, yeah, it does kind of look like Jello. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)

Flash Thompson should probably not be left in charge of children. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)

These charming reprobates. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)

This is also what he does when he sees someone parked illegally. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)

I’m not sure exactly what is happening with Havok’s hair in this panel, but it is not okay. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)

I bet JJJ smells like an ashtray, like, ALL the time. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)

Spider-Man: He’s Not Phil (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #1)

“Seriously, have you MET us?” (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #2)

He looks like such a reprobate. It’s great. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #2)

“By the hoary hosts of Hearst!” (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)

“In other breaking news, I have bizarrely tiny hands!” (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)

Aw, poor Mirrorfacemaskperson. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)

I really thought I was losing my mind briefly; but compare Havok’s hair on this page… (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)

…and the subsequent page. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)

It’s like a fight, right? (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)

WHOOPS. (Spider-Man and X-Factor: Shadow Games #3)

NEXT EPISODE: Then…

…and now!

LINKS & FURTHER DIVERSIONS:

As Mentioned in Episode 241 – Conducive to Moral Subversion

March 31, 2019 Jay 8 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Ouch. (X-Factor #93)

This plotline really never stops hurting. (X-Factor #93)

THE ARISTOCRATS! (X-Factor #93)

I see what you did, there. (X-Factor #93)

It is actually a pretty sharp costume once you take off all the goofy stuff. (X-Factor #93)

Hope you survive the experience! (X-Factor #93)

I feel like an evening with Lorna Dane would probably be really fun and also result in both of you being banned from several establishments. (X-Factor #94)