Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 317 – Acquaintances of Humanity

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Oh, c’mon, you did NOT need a double gatefold for that. (X-Men #45)
OW.
(Not a metaphor.) (X-Men #45)
Included to showcase some really damn good use of balloon and caption placement. (X-Men #45)
Aw, Rogue. (X-Men #45)
Damn, that’s good composition. (X-Men #45)
Just here to rub salt in the wound by out-glamming you. (X-Men #45)
It’s true: there’s something extra sad about brooding in shorts. (Uncanny X-Men #326)
IT SURE IS 1995 IN HERE. (Uncanny X-Men #326)
Seriously, Boomer, don’t be friends with Sabretooth. (Uncanny X-Men #326)
To those of you who get reaction images from these: You’re welcome. (Uncanny X-Men #326)
Gambit clearly subscribes to the Rory Campbell school of rehabilitation. (Uncanny X-Men #326)
Well, WE certainly recognize it! (Uncanny X-Men #326)
Now, that’s a wraparound cover! (X-Men Annual 1995)
Somebody’s been reading Age of Apocalypse. (X-Men Annual 1995)
“They’re never sure how many of them they are, and the uncertainty is difficult to live with.” (X-Men Annual 1995)
These three look like time travelers dressed in what each is certain everyone was wearing in 1995. (X-Men Annual 1995)
At least they’re stylish? I guess? (X-Men Annual 1995)
“I see hair more glam than any in this universe.” (X-Men Annual 1995)
“Several, at this point.” (X-Men Annual 1995)
Well, kinda. (X-Men Annual 1995)
Also, they all, um, teleported away. To a farm. Where they can run and play with the other villains. (X-Men Annual 1995)
NEXT: Leprechauns, obviously.

As Mentioned in Episode 315 – Theater Is Dead

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
That Wolverine shadow looming over the title has a serious Maurice Sendak vibe. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #1)
I know the whole point is for the shadow to be menacing, but how funny would it be if Wolverine were just freakin’ huge in this series, for no reason? (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #1)
Don’t smoke in the Danger Room, Gambit. It’s not supposed to be THAT kind of danger! (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #1)
This is a good version of Gambit; I will give the series and Sale that much. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #1)
I dunno; the exploding cards might make that difficult. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #1)
SEE WHAT I MEAN?! (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #2)
Viper called; she wants to know what you did with her entire look. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #2)
YES, LOGAN, IT MATTERS VERY MUCH. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #2)
Well, then. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #2)
I’m pretty sure the subtext here is that Gambit’s gonna do a sex with that painting. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #3)
The end. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #3)
X-Men ’92 did it better. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #4)
Mastermind X-Plains the plot. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #4)
Dudes, man. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #4)
That’s certainly one take on Sarte. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #4)
NEXT EPISODE: Hawk Talk!

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As Mentioned in Episode 314 – Feelings, Alaska

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Of course, that’s also exactly what a hologram would say. (X-Factor #115)
WHY DOES FORGE HAVE ALL THIS STUFF SAVED IN HIS HOLODECK? (X-Factor #115)
I’m putting all three pages of this flashback in the visual companion, because, while this scene has been shown roughly a zillion times, this one is the gold standard. (X-Factor #115)
This scene is ALSO a pretty good thumbnail guide to how to write Alex Summers and why. (X-Factor #115)
And that’s that, folks! (X-Factor #115)
“I mean, why do YOU come to Alaska? (X-Factor #115)
HECK YEAH (X-Factor #115)
THESE DORKS I LOVE THEM (X-Factor #115)
*wipes away a single tear* (X-Factor #115)
MILES WAS RIGHT. I stand corrected. -J (X-Factor #116)
Shard is cool, but she’d be cooler if she weren’t a cop. (X-Factor #116)
WHAT?! Superheroes trying to TALK through a misunderstanding? Surely Alpha Flight will jump straight to the punching, at least. (X-Factor #116)
…NOPE. (X-Factor #116)
Uncalled for, Roma. (X-Factor #117)
Seriously, don’t sic a sentinel on your team *because you’re not sure one of its members can adequately control his powers.* (X-Factor #117)
I’m pretty sure Random mostly wants a Jolt Cola(TM) and a Sega CD. (X-Factor #117)
…THEY FIGHT CRIME! (X-Factor #118)
Seriously, Random, nobody cares. (X-Factor #118)
Ah, yes, the flaming chasms of… somewhere. (X-Factor #118)
Well, that’s Random. (X-Factor #118)
NEXT EPISODE: Gambit & Wolverine!

LINKS & FURTHER MISUNDERSTANDINGS:

 

As Mentioned in Episode 313 – Iguanafall

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Not even close, but go on. (Storm #1)
Spoiler: no. (Storm #1)
That is some weird-ass product placement. (Storm #1)
This is the worst panel. I hate it and everything it stands for. (Storm #1)
SERIOUSLY LOOK AT THOSE TEETH THIS IS NOT OKAY (Storm #1)
You’d think that context might salvage it. You would be wrong. (Storm #1)
The best character in this miniseries. (Storm #2)
Coooool. (Storm #2)
Misdirection or mistake? YOU BE THE JUDGE! (Storm #1)
I guess this counts as a malicious pose, but I feel like its main victims are her spine and ribcage. (Storm #2)
Hi, Callisto! Bye, Callisto! (Storm #2)
I refuse to accept this as “Daddy.” (Storm #2)
ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew (Storm #3)
Yeah, I don’t quite get it, either. (Storm #3)
“And I TRIPLE-DARE YOU!” (Storm #4)
Somewhere in the multiverse, there’s a timeline where Aidan Quinn was cast as Cable, and I want to go there. (Storm #4)
THIS IS NOT A GOOD WAY TO DISPOSE OF A BOMB WHOSE CONTENTS YOU DO NOT KNOW. (Storm #4)
Damn, Storm. Harsh. (Storm #4)
SURE WHY NOT LET’S JUST GO WITH THAT (Storm #4)
Really? You’re going to end your miniseries HERE? (Storm #4)
NEXT EPISODE: Jay has a lot of feelings about this issue of X-Factor

LINKS & FURTHER REPTILES:

As Mentioned in Episode 311 – Love Makes a Super Team

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
This friendship really never gets old. (X-Men Annual 1995)
Freakin’ Genesis, man. (X-Men Annual 1995)
The Nasty Boys, they are not. (X-Men Annual 1995)
Nathaniel Essex: The Hollywood Dracula Years. (X-Men Annual 1995)
The ladies love the cape. (X-Men Annual 1995)
In all fairness, I’m not sure I’d want to be naked in Teen Hank and Bobby’s makeouts cabin without cleaning first, either. (X-Men Annual 1995)
Meanwhile in the UK, a dramatic man and his dramatic ponytail! (X-Men Annual 1995)
I still think the photos were a bit much. (X-Men Annual 1995)
Anniversary or no, this image does not justify a double gatefold. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
Jean Grey: thirsty on main. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
Me, too, Monet. Me, too/ (Uncanny X-Men #325)
Damn, Piotr. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
“Non, mon ami, I do not have Prince Albert in a can.” (Uncanny X-Men #325)
Marrow may be bloodthirsty, but she’s also inclusive! (Uncanny X-Men #325)
What. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
Ew. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
This is why we can’t have nice things and/or organs. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
NEXT EPISODE: The Nobody People, with author Bob Proehl!

As Mentioned in Episode 310 – Attack and Dethrone God

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I would fairly definitely pick up this series just based on the first couple covers. (Starjammers #1)
Ugh, THIS guy. (Starjammers #1)
Halak is a delight. (Starjammers #1)
Remember the Uncreated? (Starjammers #1)
Another excellent cover. (Starjammers #2)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (Starjammers #2)
Hi, Cerise! (Starjammers #2)
I’m kind of obsessed with that possum-looking creature in the lower left. Is it a pet? Is there more than one? Do they have population control issues? (Starjammers #3)
Ch’od X-Plains the Uncreated. (Starjammers #3)
Chris really just needs to learn to do crime for the fun of it. (Starjammers #4)
Hardison would have so much fun on a spaceship! (Starjammers #4)
Cool controls; still murder. (Starjammers #4)
A surprisingly easy resolution, all things considered. (Starjammers #4)
NEXT EPISODE: Sewer Knife Fight: The Sequel!

LINKS & FURTHER SPACE PIRATES:

As Mentioned in Episode 309 – Excellent Turtle

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Really, who wouldn’t fall for him? (Excalibur #87)
Okay, then. (Excalibur #87)
Sugar Man doesn’t really add anything to the Genosha storyline. (Excalibur #87)
Cover > comic. (Excalibur #88)
Seriously, WHAT DID HE WRITE WITH? (Excalibur #88)
WE HAVE FUN. (Excalibur #88)
Okay, fair. (Excalibur #89)
This is some old-school mystery comic staging, and I AM HERE FOR IT. (Excalibur #89)
Sure, why not? (Excalibur #90)
Damnit, Black Air! (Excalibur #90)
I bet they’re great at parties. (Excalibur #90)
…Okay, then. (Excalibur #90)
Ha, ha, Pete Wisdom’s life is worse than yours. (Excalibur #90)
I’m not gonna say this is the MOST ominous narration ever superimposed over a hookup, but it’s up there. (Excalibur #90)
Rory Campbell is anti-mutant, but he’s also just a raging asshole. (Excalibur #89)
DRAMATIC PARALLELS! (Excalibur #90)
NEXT EPISODE: Swingers in space.

As Mentioned in Episode 307 – Ugly Mootants Only

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
It’s okay. They’re just gonna end up in another dimension. Kind of. I guess. (Cable #15)
If Thornn had managed to catch her, would she have joined up with Artie and Leech to become an unstoppable triumvirate of moppets? The world may never know. (Cable #15)
NOW KISS (Cable #15)
The Ceremony of Light. (Cable #15)
In six years, Paige is definitely going to be the drunk girl standing outside the women’s bathroom and very sincerely telling everyone who goes in or comes out how beautiful they are. (Generation X #5)
Just don’t try any allogrooming and you’ll be okay. (Generation X #5)
I LOVE THIS TURTLE. (Generation X #5)
Not Davis, and that’s okay. (Generation X #5)
There is… a lot going on here. (Generation X #6)
You may have a lot of monitors, Dark Beast, but you’ll never top Cameron Hodge as Quintessential Villain with a Roomful of Monitors. (Generation X #6)
Bachalo draws such good Wolverine! (Generation X #6)
Next Episode: holy shit jay wrote an x-men comic

LINKS & FURTHER SHAMELESS PROMOTION:

  • You can find relevant info about X-Men: Marvels Snapshots #1 over here…
  • …and find a comics shop from which to purchase it here…
  • …or just go straight to our favorite, Books With Pictures!

As Mentioned in Episode 306 – Between Here and There

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Kids, send in your answers for a prize! (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Pink was IN for pretty much all projectiles in 1995. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Jeez, Warren, get over it. Everyone has to wear a mask these days. It’s not that hard. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Now I want to see what Bishop would think of Mandy. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
I really like Jean’s family. Shame what Claremont did to them in 2006. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Getting punched by the Juggernaut is a way quicker method of depilation than waxing or electrolysis. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Uncanny X-Men #12-13 could’ve been cut down to about a page and a half if Psylocke had been around. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
Sigh. (Uncanny X-Men #322)
This page was very important to young Miles. (Uncanny X-Men #323)
Okay, who spiked the Danger Room? (Uncanny X-Men #323)
X-Force’s former leader, folks. (Uncanny X-Men #323)
Low blow, Trish. (Uncanny X-Men #323)
On one hand, Iceman is a loyal and caring friend. On the other hand, he calls himself The Bobster. It kind of evens out. (Uncanny X-Men #323)
Logan, this is how we got banned from Denny’s, remember? (Uncanny X-Men #323)
The Container Crew. (Uncanny X-Men #323)
DC’s Azrael only wishes he could look this cool. (Uncanny X-Men #324)
Look at my teeth! LOOK AT THEM! (Uncanny X-Men #324)
Would’ve been funnier if it was a vampire bar. (Uncanny X-Men #324)
You said it, Logan. (Uncanny X-Men #324)
1.5 stars in Yelp’s morgue section (Uncanny X-Men #324)
This Fall on CBS! (Uncanny X-Men #324)
Letting Bobby’s call go to voicemail? Jeez, this is almost as bad as that time she blew up a pony! (Uncanny X-Men #324)
NEXT TIME: Hey, it’s these kids!


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As Mentioned in Episode 305 – The Sleep of the Wicked

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
That logo! That art! If this era was as good as the cover that started it, we’d be in great shape. (X-Factor #112)
Half cyborg. Half samurai. All toothy. (X-Factor #112)
Wild Child: like Wolverine, but stylish! (X-Factor #112)
“I walked here all the way from Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown, and boy, are my legs tired! And also very long!” (X-Factor #112)
Aww, Random. (X-Factor #112)
Mystique is actually laughing her ass off three blocks away. (X-Factor #112)
How else is someone in an X-Factor comic supposed to enter a room? Through the door? (X-Factor #112)
Havok’s woozy-bubbles are the best woozy-bubbles. (X-Factor #112)
Speaking of Polaris, did you see what her actress from The Gifted said on Twitter? (X-Factor #113)
As an information technology professional, Miles can confirm that BLAMPF (X-Factor #113)
Seriously, what the hell did Fatale build that thing out of? (X-Factor #113)
Yukio is reminded of her first date with Storm. (X-Factor #113)
Bad cop, worse cop. (X-Factor #113)
Havok is reminded of his first date with Polaris. (X-Factor #113)
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (X-Factor #113)
…and neither will we, because Scarlett hasn’t shown up since this panel. (X-Factor #113)
Mystique is the only one happy about this arrangement. Well, maybe not happy, but smug. (X-Factor #114
It’s like Banshee and Emma Frost if they hated each other way more! (X-Factor #114)
I mean, it’s pretty much Freedom Force with all of the pretense removed. (X-Factor #114)
Dig that panel layout. (X-Factor #114)
What did I mention about smug? (X-Factor #114)
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part Two (X-Factor #114)
And here I thought X-Force was the only comic using romance comic panels in 1995. (X-Factor #114)
Poor bastard doesn’t stand a chance. (X-Factor #114)
Why yes, I do subscribe to World Wide Web! (X-Factor #113)
NEXT TIME: Buckle up.

LINKS & FURTHER BACKSTORY