Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 360 – Charging Forward

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Such a promising cover. SIGH. (X-Force #59)
Cable, this is not a great way to deal with youth in crisis. (X-Force #59)
YOU SEE IT, TOO, RIGHT? (X-Force #59)
And again: That is NOT what the bottom of this ship would look like. (X-Force #59)
Oh, hey, these guys. It’s been a minute. (X-Force #59)
SPEAKING OF WHICH! (X-Force #59)
If you get it, you get it. (X-Force #60)
That this is happening in the Mojoverse somehow makes it marginally less weird. (X-Force #60)
That’s what he always sleeps in. (X-Force #60)
Dazzler!
CHARGING BOLDLY TOWARD THE VIEWER! (X-Force #60)
Meanwhile in an entirely different art style… (X-Force #61)
Sure, why not? (X-Force #61)
NEXT EPISODE: These miscreants.

 

As Mentioned in Episode 359 – Meanwhile in Britain

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Wraparound cover! (Excalibur #100)
Her eyes really did look cooler before. (Excalibur #100)
Do not try this at home. (Excalibur #100)
I’d read an odd-couple comic about these two. (Excalibur #100)
The media X-Plains Onslaught. (Excalibur #101)
He bullshits so well! (Excalibur #101)
Aw, Cap. (Excalibur #102)
Well, that’s foreboding. (Excalibur #102)
You almost–almost–feel sorry for the bad guys. (Excalibur #102)
That’s a lot of Nightcrawlers! (Excalibur #103)
Also some Shadowcats and Colossuses! (Excalibur #103)
Meanwhile in Limbo… (Excalibur #103)
NEXT EPISODE: This nonsense.

LINKS & FURTHER BACKSTORY

As Mentioned in Episode 358 – Giant-Size Special #10

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I’d have picked this off the rack for its title treatment alone. (Daydreamers #1)
Skrull or Green Goblin? You be the judge! (Daydreamers #1)
(No fingernails were used in the construction of this possibly-imaginary boat.) (Daydreamers #1)
Damnit. (Daydreamers #1)
The first sign (heh) of the direction this universe is headed… (Daydreamers #2)
A passel of unlicensed guest stars. (Daydreamers #2)
WHAT THE DUCK?! (Daydreamers #2)
Howard’s idyllic not-actually family. (Daydreamers #3)
It’s weird, right? (Daydreamers #3)
Ouch. (Daydreamers #3)
This whole sequence is both very creepy and very sad. (Daydreamers #3)
Franklin deals with grief. (Daydreamers #3)

LINKS & FURTHER DUCKERY

 

As Mentioned in Episode 357 – The Semiotics of Regret

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
This cover accomplishes what it sets out to do so beautifully… (Uncanny X-Men #337)
…as does its credits page. (Uncanny X-Men #337)
Nothing is entirely okay here. (Uncanny X-Men #337)
Hank, no. (Uncanny X-Men #337)
And wistfulness for dessert. (Uncanny X-Men #337)
Ah, that cover. Again. (X-Men #57)
Versions of this have been used roughly a zillion times; but it always works. (X-Men #57)
The 616, where televisions always flip through the most scene-appropriate clips. (X-Men #57)
Clean up your damn flechettes, Warren Kenneth Worthington III. (X-Men #57)
(He’s not covered in water; it’s the anti-psy field and the evocation of Days of Future Past.) (Onslaught Epilogue #1)
Not… the Rainbow Bears?! (Onslaught Epilogue #1)
Hi, kiddo. (Onslaught Epilogue #1)
Psychology is… different, here. (Onslaught Epilogue #1)
Sure, why not? (Onslaught Epilogue #1)
NEXT EPISODE: GIANT-SIZE WINTER SPECIAL, feat. Jonathan Hickman!

As Mentioned in Episode 356 – The Michael Bay-eux Tapestry

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
The 90s-est Rogue in the 90s-est crossover. (X-Men #56)
“Who but I could pose so impressively?” (X-Men #56)
“SENTINEL TZ-031 REPORTING TO HELP YOU MAKE YOUR POINT, SIR” (X-Men #56)
This Onslaught-form may mostly be a retcon to justify past artistic inconsistency – but damn it looks awesome. (X-Men #56)
“And not even one of them told me the actually-important parts of AoA’s whole deal.” (X-Men #56)
Kubert gets so much credit for making a quiet conversation this visually riveting. (X-Men #56)
“You may be a hybrid monstrosity composed of the worst parts of both myself and my greatest frenemy, but at least you seem to have excellent dental hygiene.” (X-Men #56)
This cover kinda sums it up. And that’s not a bad thing. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Well shit. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Scott Summers, master tactician. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Goosebumps. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
The world’s greatest heroes versus a bright orange glow to the right of the two-page spread. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Hope, thy name is Moppet. Despair, thy name is x-treme teen. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
“And on that day, the heroes channeled their collective courage and dedication into a single blast of punching and yelling.” (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
BTOOM (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
I’m not crying you’re crying (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
*heavy metal horns* (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Thor, that’s not how it… oh, I guess it is. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Man, these two (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
Nothing I can say will add to these panels. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
This shouldn’t work, but damn, it does. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
“In the meantime, I guess you could grab that universe-in-a-ball and learn contact juggling?” (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)
NEXT TIME: Onslaught ends, for real.

As Mentioned in Episode 355 – All Sentinels Are Bastards

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
See, this is why I’ll never drive in New York. (Amazing Spider-Man #415)
“Did I say guardian angels? I meant guardian spiders. Hey, things were different in the sixties.” (Amazing Spider-Man #415)
What year did this comic come out? Oh, right. 1996. (Amazing Spider-Man #415)
“Also, my son is a magical astronaut werewolf, and he’d stay and help!” (Amazing Spider-Man #415)
Inkers don’t get enough respect. (Spider-Man #72)
Jeez, even the Sentinels have traffic jams! What did I say about never driving in New York? (Spider-Man #72)
Weekend At Spider-Bernie’s. (Spider-Man #72)
Aww, these kids. (Spider-Man #72)
Now this is how you Spider-Man. (Spider-Man #72)
Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 1. (Green Goblin #12)
Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 2. (Green Goblin #12)
Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 3. (Green Goblin #12)
Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 4. (Green Goblin #12)
Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 5. (Green Goblin #12)
Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 6. (Green Goblin #12)
Frank Punisher is in over his head. (Punisher #11)
“A mustache and a wing-suit? Those student loans were worth every cent!” (Punisher #11)
This has never once happened in the history of the Marvel Universe. Never. Once. (Punisher #11)
The speech bubble says DOGS but the jet-ski says DOGZ – I don’t know who to believe! (Punisher #11)
Cap’n Bloodscream smiles approvingly from the next ship over. (Punisher #11)
“And I just had some firemen hose me down, so I am ready for this.” (Punisher #11)
NEXT TIME: End-slaught.

As Mentioned in Episode 354 – The Touch of Magneto

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Elektra is… complicated. (Wolverine #104)
Where babies come from. (Wolverine #104)
This is actually how most Wolverine stories start. (Wolverine #105)
AWWWWWW. (Wolverine #105)
Ewwwwww. (Wolverine #105)
Stick in a nutshell. (Wolverine #105)
Chris Bachalo, man. Chris Bachalo. (Generation X #19)
They’re not Artie and Leech; but they’re kinda Artie and Leech. (Generation X #19)
SURE WHY NOT (Generation X #19)
Oh, buddy. You tried. (Generation X #19)
You also tried. (Generation X #19)
NEXT WEEK: HAWK TALK!
NEXT EPISODE: Tie-ins!

As Mentioned in Episode 353 – Scientists and Superheroes

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Forge X-Plains. (X-Factor #126)
Wait, if she’s also visible as herself, why does it even MATTER which wings she uses? (X-Factor #126)
Don’t steal the man’s tagline. (X-Factor #126)
I really enjoy this cover. (Fantastic Four #416)
“NOBODY menaces the Richardses but me!” (Fantastic Four #416)
Aw his silly device. (Fantastic Four #416)
“You have my abs.” (Fantastic Four #416)
THIS WEIRDO (Fantastic Four #416)
“DOOM WOULD ALSO ENJOY A LATTE.” (Fantastic Four #416)
This page super reminds me of the credits of the movie Help! (X-Men Unlimited #12)
They were cooler when they were just a neon sign come to life. (X-Men Unlimited #12)
This probably happens to Strange a lot. (X-Men Unlimited #12)
I’m sorry, Spite; I can’t take you seriously without a Y and possibly a gratuitous apostrophe in your name. (X-Men Unlimited #12)
A large boy. (X-Men Unlimited #12)
…they fight crime! (X-Men Unlimited #12)
NEXT EPISODE: some bullshit.

LINKS & FURTHER SPINOFFS

  • I’m pretty sure we’ve linked to Robert Cop before, but just in case, here you go.

As Mentioned in Episode 352 – Onslog

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Still not really seeing the “ebon” part of “ebon citadel,” but whatever. (The Incredible Hulk #445)
I always appreciate details like this. (The Incredible Hulk #445)
Ouch. (The Incredible Hulk #445)
It’s like that thing where you don’t hear your cat coming in and then it’s RIGHT THERE STARING AT YOU. (Invincible Iron Man #332)
Those are… certainly some sound effects. (Invincible Iron Man #332)
It’s not a whole fancy suit, but I guess it’ll do. (Invincible Iron Man #332)
Hats all around! (Invincible Iron Man #332)
Look at them, all action-y. (Avengers #402)
Sucks to be the dude who has to both accurately assess the situation AND keep everyone’s spirits up! (Avengers #402)
SO THERE. (Avengers #402)
SO MUCH HEROISM IN ONE PAGE (Avengers #402)
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: Additional Onslaught!

LINKS & FURTHER CHOREOGRAPHY

As Mentioned in Episode 351 – His Mighty Hand

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
At least his astral form also works out. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
The size difference is endlessly amusing. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
You done good, Gambit. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
For those of you who collect reaction images. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
Seriously–PERFECT CYLINDER. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
It always seems weird to me that when Cable’s arm is like that it doesn’t seem to cause any mobility or balance issues. (Cable #35)
They’ll team up, but, damnit, they won’t enjoy it. (Cable #35)
Meanwhile at your neighborhood roller rink… (Cable #35)
He’s like a tiny pet Franklin getting walked around Manhattan! (Cable #35)
SO THERE, ONSLAUGHT. (Cable #35)
That throne is so creepy and gross and awesome. (X-Man #19)
Remember the Age of Apocalypse? Nate does! (X-Man #19)
Aw, kiddo. (X-Factor #58)
They’re all very neatly arranged, at least. (X-Factor #58)
Tabitha really needs some healthier coping mechanisms. (X-Factor #58)
AW, KIDDO. (X-Factor #58)
Please google “highland cattle” immediately and join me in giggling. (X-Factor #58)
Smelling the vegetation… and possibly hiding a pot of gold. (X-Factor #58)
Domino’s fantasies do not allow for teenage intrusion, TYVM. (X-Factor #58)
NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught, still, obviously.