Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Category: As Mentioned

As Mentioned in Episode 99 – Those Who Walk Away from Genosha

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
The whole arc summed up in a single image. (Uncanny X-Men #235)
Hawkshaw’s actual mutant power is talking in old-timey detective slang. (Uncanny X-Men #235)
“Y’know, when I’m not running a massive underground IT complex and consorting with demons.” (Uncanny X-Men #235)
Unlike the Genoshans, the X-Men actually arrive with extra clothes when they teleport. (Uncanny X-Men #235)
“Yes, and…” (Uncanny X-Men #235)
NAKED FIGHT! Take a drink, and follow it with a beer back. (Uncanny X-Men #236)
The stark normalcy of (human) life on Genosha is played for pretty spectacular contrast to horror’s it’s built upon. (Uncanny X-Men #236)
“Here in Genosha, we’re more into D.C.” (Uncanny X-Men #236)
BUTTERFLY MUSTACHE! (Uncanny X-Men #236)
Meet N’astirh: the most polite demon. Kinda. For now. (Uncanny X-Men #236)
We’d all like to think we’ve got a little Carol Danvers in us, but it’s rarely quite this literal. (Uncanny X-Men #236)
THAT OUTFIT. (Uncanny X-Men #236)
The best thing about being a supervillain is that people respect it when you don’t feel like multitasking. (Uncanny X-Men #236)
Damn, Genegineer. (Uncanny X-Men #237)
Don’t fuck with Madelyne Pryor. (Uncanny X-Men #237)
Or Wolverine, for that matter. (Uncanny X-Men #237)
OH SHIT (Uncanny X-Men #238)
He’s a homophone! Get it? ‘Cause Sinister is a Jeangineer! (Uncanny X-Men #238)
“Fuck foreshadowing. I’m turning on the damn SPOTLIGHT.” (Uncanny X-Men #238)
Genosha is actually kind of a metaphor–just not for what you first think. (Uncanny X-Men #238)
NEXT EPISODE: Chris Claremont.

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

As Mentioned in Episode 98 – Between Alien Visitations and Drunken Sulks

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Hello, Meggan!
Say what you will about Dai Thomas; the man is thorough.
The Crazy Gang tries so hard.
These dudes really really seem like they must be a reference to something, but we were unable to dig up a clear source.
Also how we found Kyle.
She may be the evil dictator of a crypto-Nazi dystopian Earth, but damned if Sat-Yr-Nin doesn’t have great hair.
It’s kind of charming how petty Brian gets when he’s feeling self-righteous.
Sidney Crumb is ill.
Aw, man.
I’m’a let you finish, X-Men, but this is the best team in the Marvel Universe.
Captain Britain is a superhero comic that is also an extended metaphor that is also a superhero comic.
One more Technet group shot, just because.
Brian Braddock summed up in a single panel.
The Cherubim. Don’t get too attached–they’re super doomed.
Okay, then.
Captain U.K. and her therapy mullet.
Meanwhile at Stately Braddock Manor…
The real superpower is adherence to narrow beauty standards, but flight is also pretty cool.
This sequence really needs to be set to the Benny Hill theme.
Oldest trap in the book.
MORE TECHNET! It’s Technet Christmas!
There’s probably a universe where Captain Britain is in fact a girl gang, and that’s the universe where I want to live.
Fridging summed up in a single panel.
Remember that time the protagonist, a superhero, straight-up smashed a dude’s head in with a boulder? Because that definitely happened in this comic.
Don’t quit your day job, kid.
Hardboiled gangster Meggan is the goddamn best.
No, seriously, there should be a whole comic that’s just about the two of them doing this.
That RICK sound effect, tho.
OH, HI.
And they all lived happily ever after, but not really, because that doesn’t make for a very interesting ongoing series.
NEXT EPISODE: Genosha is for lovers!

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As Mentioned in Episode 97 – The Crooked World

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The Story So Far.
How awesome a group cosplay would this be? (Answer: so awesome.)
That’s quite a battle cry, Cap.
THIS GUY.
Jim Jaspers X-Plains Jim Jaspers (but leaves out the part where he prosecutes Magneto).
The first death of Captain Britain.
“Have fun with that, dude!”
“Show, don’t tell” in action.
There’s nothing more awkward than coming home to discover that your house has been taken over by an evil supercomputer.
Slaymaster and his amazing mustache.
This heist…
…is the best heist…
…even if it doesn’t end quite as planned.
Captain Albion is by far and away the best-dressed member of the Captain Britain corps.
Welcome to your nightmares for the next week.
Future Traumatic Stress Disorder is no laughing matter.
We have never identified so hard with Captain Britain as we did in this moment.
Seriously, though, can’t you see it as a sitcom?
Oh, that’ll end well.
*shudder*
Again: We cannot overemphasize how scary the Fury is.
It’s Meggan’s first appearance! HI, MEGGAN!
Speaking of first appearances (well, at least in 616), here’s the Crazy Gang!
(Immediately followed by one of the most satisfying ass-kickings in any superhero comic, ever.)
It’s okay. He’s only faking.
WHY DOES NO ONE EVERY GROUP-COSPLAY THE CAPTAIN BRITAIN CORPS? Maybe they do in the U.K. We fervently hope so.
NEXT WEEK: But wait! There’s more!

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As Mentioned in Episode 96 – Horsemen of the Playground

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Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and travel mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
How you know a psychic event is a big deal: the cross-franchise reaction montage! (X-Factor Annual #3)
Well, that’s certainly one way to stage an intervention. (X-Factor Annual #3)
These delightful scamps. (X-Factor Annual #3)
Warlock, never change. (New Mutants Annual #4)
Can we have a moment of rapt silence for how well June Brigman draws body language? (New Mutants Annual #4)
The High Evolutionary’s head scientist, Stack, appears to be dual-wielding a cane and a staple gun. Because, evolution. (New Mutants Annual #4)
“On Wednesdays, we wear pink.” (New Mutants Annual #4)
Hell, yeah, equal-opportunity battle lingerie! (Well, except for Magneto, but he marches to the beat of his own fuchsia drum.) (New Mutants Annual #4)
Horses: totally the worst. (New Mutants Annual #4)
The scene that blew tiny Miles’s tiny mind. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
Man, if we had a dollar for every time that happened… (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
POIT: Definitely the cutest sound effect. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
In which Alex comes *this close* to the realization that Charles Xavier is totally a supervillain. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
SURE, WHY NOT? (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
Remember the time Storm had adventures on pirate space city on the back of a flying wolf? Because that was definitely a thing that actually happened. (Classic X-Men #22)
Oh, THAT guy. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
I’m not actually certain they ever followed up on this. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
It’s kind of a shame this logo didn’t stick around, because it’s pretty sweet. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
NEXT EPISODE: Captain Britain!

As Mentioned in Episode 95 – Earthfall

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
TFW you forget a plotline for over a year and have to recap not only the original hook, but the entire context. (Uncanny X-Men #232)
If I had a dollar for every time this had happened when I was out camping… (Uncanny X-Men #232)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Uncanny X-Men #232)
That is definitely not how you perform CPR. (Uncanny X-Men #232)
A lot of our nightmares start like this. (Uncanny X-Men #232)
“Okay. This looks bad.” (Uncanny X-Men #233)
Nope. (Uncanny X-Men #233)
That’s… actually, that’s incredibly reasonable. (Uncanny X-Men #233)
How much do we love this cover? SO MUCH. (Uncanny X-Men #234)
That couple in the background are by far our favorite characters in this arc. (Uncanny X-Men #234)
And again. (Uncanny X-Men #234)
“So, meth, then?” (Uncanny X-Men #234)
Ouch. (Uncanny X-Men #232)
You know that thing where you have a really awful dream about someone you know, and you wake up really mad at them, and then you team up with demons and try to sacrifice a bunch of babies and turn New York into Hell? Yeah, me, too. (Uncanny X-Men #233)
In Madelyne’s defense, this really is a super fucked up dream. (Uncanny X-Men #233)
“She’s her old self again, but about six inches shorter.” (Uncanny X-Men #233)
There is literally nothing okay about what is going on here. (Uncanny X-Men #234)
Has anyone ever tried to reproduce this awesome manicure IRL? You should do that. (Uncanny X-Men #234)
The first official apparance of one of the worst villain costumes in X-Men. At least it’s memorable? (Uncanny X-Men #234)
Next Week: This asshole.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

As Mentioned in Episode 94 – WELCOME TO DIE!

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Pryde of the X-Men‘s character designs are pretty damned comics-accurate, if slightly pastel. (I guess Kitty would have gotten her Shadowcat costume later?)
Real talk: if you watch this show on VHS, Spider-Man takes a minute of your time beforehand to tell you how important it is to vote.
Okay, that’s a legitimately cool way of showing how awesome telepathy can be. And a legitimately GI Joe-looking moment.
“Choose your character, Kitty Pryde!”
This image documents Kitty’s single moment of hesitation before she decides that following a bunch of strangers into space is a great plan.
Pryde of the X-Men‘s Storm may actually be her best on-screen portrayal.
“G’day! Let’s get a dingo on the barbie, you wallaby! Foster’s!”
This makes me actually kind of wish Dazzler had been on the team in the early 80s.
The Arcade Game: Heroes!
The Arcade Game: Villains!
It’s… basically a whole lot of this.
Three Living Monoliths for the price of one!
Twelve-year-old Miles was in heaven. Thirty-three-year-old Miles was too.
Our players: Anna Sheffey, Miles Stokes, and Elisabeth Allie!
Next time: The Brood are back, baby.

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As Mentioned in Episode 93 – The Discreet Charm of the Brood

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
JEEZ, MOM.
Just… don’t get on planes if you’re a mutant. It’s not worth it.
Nature is terrible.
Ever kiss somebody so hard that you set the world on fire? Well, probably not, unless you’re Magma.
Okay, that’s just adorable.
It’s not that knives aren’t intimidating…
Did we mention that this issue was awesome? This issue is awesome.
There’s so much going on here.
“And after this, I’m going to go record an album with Epica.”
Poor Kitty. Poor Illyana. Poor everybody.
Damn, Blevins. Not bad.
This is… This is going to be fine.
THIS IS GOING TO BE FINE.
“Did I say Epica? I meant Iced Earth.”
Okay, that’s just badass.
Maybe Forge is channeling ancient Cheyenne magic… or maybe he just wanted translucent furry pants.
SYMBOLISM.
Stryfe: *slow clap*
And then the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come showed up.
NEXT WEEK: Pryde of the X-Men with Elisabeth Allie!

As Mentioned in Episode 92 – Living in Ship

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Love, X-Factor style. (X-Factor #27)
Days later, Manhattan is flooded. (X-Factor #27)
“Everything was going really well for like five whole pages!” (X-Factor #27)
Jean, you knocked! You really have grown up! (X-Factor #27)
Aww, squishface. (X-Factor #27)
“And I was only a few days away from retirement…” (X-Factor #28)
Gotta catch ’em all. (X-Factor #28)
Aww, Hank… (X-Factor #28)
Check out that panel composition – this is how you do show-don’t-tell. (X-Factor #28)
Just sayin’. (X-Factor #28)
Okay, I just posted this one because of Scott’s amazing death-glare. “Damn it, Bobby, I’m the one who gets to do press conferences.” (X-Factor #29)
Nabbit. Whunk. (X-Factor #29)
Aww, Hank..! (X-Factor #29)
I can’t say I fully blame Infectia for monsterizing some of these jerks. (X-Factor #29)
Walter Simonson: master of making soap opera look Epic As Hell. (X-Factor #29)
Whoa. (X-Factor #30)
I mean, she’s kind of endearing in her awfulness, right? (X-Factor #30)
Bobby Drake: overcompensating. (X-Factor #30)
These panels could have come straight out of The Mighty Thor. (X-Factor #30)
Aww, crap, they’re holding hands – you know that means you guys are completely screwed, right? (X-Factor #30)
*cue laugh track* (X-Factor #31)
Well that’s terrifying. (X-Factor #31)
Louise and Walter Simonson do the best Destiny. (X-Factor #31)
Jeez, the USPS is way more hardcore than I thought. (X-Factor #31)
Well crap. (X-Factor #31)
Next time: Sorcerers’ Duel.

As Mentioned in Episode 91 – The Saddest Story Ever Told

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
The vaguely slapstick motifs in this story somehow make it even sadder. (New Mutants #64)
And it really only gets more depressing from here. (New Mutants #64)
No, seriously. (New Mutants #64)
Everything is terrible forever. (New Mutants #64)
=( (New Mutants #64)
Yeah, we do not have a sassy caption for this. Sorry. (New Mutants #64)
Aw, man. These kids. (New Mutants #64)
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
Harder than fighting Sentinels, apparently. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
“It’s four hours of me, a vacuum cleaner, and a theremin.” (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
The X-Men take costume parties REALLY DAMN SERIOUSLY. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
“Also, that is literally one of the only two non-uniform outfits you own.” (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
How not to lay out a page for coherent reading order. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
SO THEN THAT HAPPENED. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
And they all lived happily ever after. THE END! (But Doug Ramsey was still dead.) (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)

As Mentioned in Episode 90 – Ghosts of the Outback

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Dazzler is pretty fundamentally confused about the idea of “hiding out.” (Uncanny X-Men #228)
O.Z. Chase: Bounty Hunter, Not a Werewolf. (Uncanny X-Men #228)
WOLVERINE. DON’T FEED DOGS CIGARS. WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DO THAT. YOU ARE THE WORST. (Uncanny X-Men #228)
Oh, hey, it’s the Walter Peck of the Marvel Universe. (Uncanny X-Men #228)
Good times, good times. (Uncanny X-Men #228)
The Reavers. No, not those reavers. The other Reavers. One of them’s a tank. Centank. Tanktaur. (Uncanny X-Men #229)
That tattoo, man. (Uncanny X-Men #229)
Hi, Gateway! (Uncanny X-Men #229)
Do these guys know how to party, or what? (Uncanny X-Men #229)
“Look, we didn’t really think the whole horde thing through.” (Uncanny X-Men #229)
“Also, you’ll start spelling ‘tiger’ with a Y.” (Uncanny X-Men #229)
Those sound effects! (Uncanny X-Men #229)
Chekhov’s mystic portal. (Uncanny X-Men #229)
Really not feeling that costume, Storm. (Uncanny X-Men #230)
SPOILER: This will not end well. (Uncanny X-Men #230)
Question: Based on his powers, is it SUPER AWKWARD for Longshot to use the toilet? (Uncanny X-Men #230)
Alex. You’re the Summers brother who can see colors. There is no excuse for this. (Uncanny X-Men #230)
Elf Dazzler meshes weirdly well with the whole “Baby Boomer Santa” thing from Community. (Uncanny X-Men #230)
Aw. (Uncanny X-Men #230)
Rick Leonardi is so good, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men #231)
Good hat, though. (Uncanny X-Men #231)
Hot, and also hot. (Uncanny X-Men #231)
CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT WHAT STORM IS WEARING? (Uncanny X-Men #231)
Leonardi draws the best Darkchylde by a pretty wide margin. (Uncanny X-Men #231)
How awesome would it be if the Xavier Institute always looked like this? SO AWESOME. (Uncanny X-Men #231)
Aw, man. Right in the feels. (Uncanny X-Men #231)
NEXT WEEK: The saddest story ever.

LINKS & FURTHER READING