Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Category: As Mentioned

As Mentioned in Episode 329 – Scheming and Argument

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Same cover, different week. (Excalibur #94)
Rahne “Aleph from Global Frequency” Sinclair. (Excalibur #94)
Sorry. I just can’t accept this as Tangerine. (Excalibur #94)
He could totally have rocked the swim cap, though. (Excalibur #94)
Ew, they’re all goopy. (Excalibur #94)
Well, damn. (Excalibur #94)
We call that a “Muir Hello.” (X-Man #12)
It also goes PING! (X-Man #12)
Okay: That is legitimately cool. (X-Man #12)
The actual tagline of Squeezits(TM) was “Squeeze the fun out of it.” I swear to g-d I’m not making this up. (X-Man #12)
Look at those mid ’90s computer graphics! (Excalibur #95)
Moira doesn’t give a fuck if she’s not your real mom; she’s grounding you anyway. (Excalibur #95)
Oh, Rory. Buddy. (Excalibur #95)
This is also roughly how it feels to read like 20 years of X-Men in a sitting. (Excalibur #95)
What Excalibur’s thinking about. (Excalibur #95)
NEXT EPISODE: The herald of Onslaught; but also this fashion situation.

As Mentioned in Episode 328 – Single Blue Male

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
It’s not baseball, but it’ll do! (X-Men #48)
It’s rough to be Bishop. (X-Men #48)
The extra arms make it extra funny. (X-Men #48)
*Rimshot* (X-Men #48)
Dark Beast X-Plains Bishop. (X-Men #48)
Bishop, that’s flirting. (X-Men #49)
“Bishop with Kittens” should be a thing. (X-Men #49)
This one’s for Douglas Wolk. (X-Men #49)
Never trust anybody. (X-Men #49)
Except by the time it happens, they look way more alike. (X-Men Unlimited #10)
Hank McCoy was an objectively kind of terrible child. (X-Men Unlimited #10)
This would be so fun to climb around! (X-Men Unlimited #10)
Hank, buddy, no. (X-Men Unlimited #10)
Honestly, I’d prefer a toaster. (X-Men Unlimited #10)
What the HELL, dude? (X-Men Unlimited #10)
Time to face the… nope. I’m not gonna do it. (X-Men Unlimited #10)
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MCCOY! (X-Men Unlimited #10)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Man vs. Excalibur!

As Mentioned in Episode 326 – The Sounds of Gravity

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
“My son murdered me and all I got was this cool scar.” (X-Force #49)
Alas, poor Stansfield. (X-Force #49)
I think we’ve all been on that visit home. (X-Force #49)
Aw, this guy. I’ve missed him. (X-Force #49)
Look at all that cover! (X-Force #50)
Go, team! (X-Force #50)
Correction: not actually a two-page spread. (X-Force #50)
Sure, why not? (X-Force #50)
“Remember when we read all those comics?” (X-Force #50)
That is an unsettlingly good home haircut. (X-Force #51)
NO. (X-Force #51)
One for the reaction files. (X-Force #51)
NEXT EPISODE: A tale of two Beasts!

As Mentioned in Episode 326 – Son of a Gun

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Fun times with holograms! (X-Factor #119)
Oh, THAT guy. (X-Factor #119)
If I had a dollar for every date that ended this way… (X-Factor #119)
Sir, your gun appears to be several cardboard boxes. (X-Factor #120)
Well, that’s going to be a problem. (X-Factor #120)
Okay, but seriously, why is Roma in this, again>? (X-Factor #121)
OH SNAP (X-Factor #121)

As Mentioned in Episode 325 – Captain Bloodscream

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I’m sorry; I cannot accept this as Cable. (X-Force/Cable Annual 1995)
The Impossible Teens. (X-Force/Cable Annual 1995)
Yay, Team-Ups! (Spider-Man Team-Up #1)
Tessa, Shade Queen of the Hellfire Club. Spider-Man Team-Up #1
SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS THE GOLD CROTCH THING (Spider-Man Team-Up #1)
Also Tessa. (Spider-Man Team-Up #1)
NO, SERIOUSLY: 30-50 FERAL HOGS. (X-Men Unlimited #9)
FUCKING GHOST PIRATES Y’ALL (X-Men Unlimited #9)
YES AS A MATTER OF FACT I WILL BE CAPTIONING ALL THE IMAGES FROM THIS ISSUE IN ALL CAPS (X-Men Unlimited #9)
LOOK AT THIS MAN. THIS IS A MAN LIVING HIS DREAM. (X-Men Unlimited #9)
SURE WHY NOT (X-Men Unlimited #9)
SHARK FIGHT SHARK FIGHT (X-Men Unlimited #9)
THIS VISUAL IS LIKE ALL THE GOOFINESS OF THE EPISODE IN A NUTSHELL (X-Men Unlimited #9)
KING OF THE CAT PEOPLE (X-Men Unlimited #9)
FOOTNOTES FOR THE FOOTNOTE GODS (X-Men Unlimited #9)
FISH! FISH OF DECEIT! (X-Men Unlimited #9)
OH HEY WE KNOW THAT GUY (X-Men Unlimited #9)
THE NEXT TWO IMAGES WILL JUST BE KICKASS BLOODSCREAM YOU’RE WELCOME (X-Men Unlimited #9)
I WISH HIM THE BEST (X-Men Unlimited #9)
NEXT EPISODE: The Adversary probably does not actually join X-Factor.

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As Mentioned in Episode 324 – Snack Attack

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
So, yeah, there’s a lot going on. (Generation X Annual 1995)
Not who they appear to be, which honestly doesn’t even really matter in context. (Generation X Annual 1995)
His sovereignty over the Hellfire Club is dubious, but he’s definitely the king of shade. (Generation X Annual 1995)
Ouch. (Generation X Annual 1995)
Wait, what? (Generation X Annual 1995)
I still can’t tell if this is him not knowing she kidnapped him or telling her that it’s fine that she did… (Generation X Annual 1995)
Well, that’s some Silent Hill-inflected creepiness. (Generation X Annual 1995)
This party is an odd mix of formality levels. (Generation X #10)
Look, it happens to all of us eventually. (Generation X #10)
We would read the HELL out of a series about Banshee’s Interpol adventures. (Generation X #10)
OH HEY WE KNOW THAT DUDE (Generation X #10)
They are a genuinely fun pair. (Generation X #10)
NEXT EPISODE: MOTHERFUCKIN’ GHOST PIRATES!

As Mentioned in Episode 323 – Baby Talk

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Seriously–they look like little adults! (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)
This gag was probably inevitable, honestly. (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)
Enter the X-Babies! (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)
I feel like public opinion of Sentinels would go way up if they looked like dinosaurs. (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)
Arcade X-Plains the premise. (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)
THIS IS REALLY DARK FOR WHAT IT IS. (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)
Is this actually Sinister? We never really find out, but it’s gotta be, right? (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)
Hooray! (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)
…that’s a lotta X-Babies. (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)
Absolutely iconic cover. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)
Damn good interior art, too. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)
Kirby’s art has leveled up exponentially between Murderama and Reborn; I particularly dig his Spiral. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)
Expanded geography of the Mojoverse. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)
Man, I wanna live in a closed-down theater! (X-Babies: Reborn #1)
The textbook sisters. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)
‘Vengers Assembly! (X-Babies: Reborn #1)
That it’s an obvious joke doesn’t stop it from being funny. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)
All-New Psychilde! (X-Babies: Reborn #1)
Seriously, who WOULDN’T read about the adventures of Baby Doom? (X-Babies: Reborn #1)
That Skottie Young cover! (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1)
Mr. Veech and Nandy. (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1)
Good times. (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1)
Our first glimpse of the Star Comics characters. (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1)
Planet Terry (Bowdlerized version). (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1)
Wally and the Wizard (Bowdlerized version). (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #2)
Royal Roy (Bowdlerized version). (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #2)
Top Dog (Bowdlerized but still helpful version). (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #3)
The actual, exiled Royal Roy, Planet Terry, and Top Dog. (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #3)
oh shit (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #3)
And they all pretty much lived happily ever after, probably, I guess. (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #4)
NEXT EPISODE: Aging up to X-teens!

LINKS & FURTHER JUVENALIA

As Mentioned in Episode 322 – Do More Crimes

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Never let Gambit take you anywhere. (X-Men #46)
Jean, seriously, do you have any idea how old your niece and nephew are? (X-Men #46)
Bobby, no. (X-Men #46)
We have X-Babies. This is not a drill. (X-Men #46)
Charming, ain’t they? (X-Men #46)
Wait… who?! (X-Men #46)
HI, DAZZLER! (X-Men #47)
This whole issue feels kind of like a Western, helped along by this incredibly classic framing. (Uncanny X-Men #327)
“Okay, but also, your face is melting.” (Uncanny X-Men #327)
OH SNAP denied (Uncanny X-Men #327)
This is legitimately adorable. (Uncanny X-Men #327)
“Y’know… stuff.” (Uncanny X-Men #327)
NEXT WEEK: Hawk talk!

NEXT EPISODE: SOMEHOW, EVEN MORE X-BABIES!

LINKS & FURTHER MISDIRECTION:

As Mentioned in Episode 321 – Revolving Doors

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Damn, those bunny slippers are intense.(X-Force #48)
Please note that Siryn has her own personal breeze. (X-Force #48)
“Y… you’re not?” (X-Force #48)
Large. (Uncanny X-Men #328)
LARGE. (Uncanny X-Men #328)
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU FIRST-AID A MAJOR ABDOMINAL WOUND (Uncanny X-Men #328)
We may never know why Professor X chose to install Cerebro in a Multi-Axis Trainer, but he certainly appears to have done so. (Sabretooth Special #1)
Dang, that’s a lot of drop shadows. (Sabretooth Special #1)
Deja vu all over again. We may never know why Professor X chose to install Cerebro in a Multi-Axis Trainer, but he certainly appears to have done so. (Sabretooth Special #1)
NEXT EPISODE: INTO THE CLONE ZONE!

As Mentioned in Episode 320 – The Accountability Wagon

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I know the cover blurb isn’t actually foreshadowing, but the cover blurb is kiiiinda foreshadowing. (Excalibur #91)
There’s writing a phonetic accent… and then there’s writing someone making fun of someone else’s accent, phonetically. (Excalibur #91)
Aw. (Excalibur #91)
For your Twitter fight needs. (Excalibur #91)
This is roughly how I react to having to share personal information with colleagues, too. (Excalibur #91)
They’re good friends. (Excalibur #91)
THE SUBTITLES THO (Excalibur #91)
Creeeeeepy. (Excalibur #91)
I know his teeth are also supposed to be steel, but they look just off enough from the rest of his face that I can’t shake the idea that they’re normal teeth, which idea is profoundly and inexplicably unsettling. (Excalibur #92)
Huh. (Excalibur #92)
You sure did. (Excalibur #93)
[Music rises] (Excalibur #93)
Ah, Rahne. You’re such a good kid. (Excalibur #93)
FUCK YEAH RAHNE SINCLAIR! (Excalibur #93)
NEXT EPISODE: Same Sabretooth, different day.