Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Author: Jay

As Mentioned in Episode 95 – Earthfall

4 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
TFW you forget a plotline for over a year and have to recap not only the original hook, but the entire context. (Uncanny X-Men #232)
If I had a dollar for every time this had happened when I was out camping… (Uncanny X-Men #232)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Uncanny X-Men #232)
That is definitely not how you perform CPR. (Uncanny X-Men #232)
A lot of our nightmares start like this. (Uncanny X-Men #232)
“Okay. This looks bad.” (Uncanny X-Men #233)
Nope. (Uncanny X-Men #233)
That’s… actually, that’s incredibly reasonable. (Uncanny X-Men #233)
How much do we love this cover? SO MUCH. (Uncanny X-Men #234)
That couple in the background are by far our favorite characters in this arc. (Uncanny X-Men #234)
And again. (Uncanny X-Men #234)
“So, meth, then?” (Uncanny X-Men #234)
Ouch. (Uncanny X-Men #232)
You know that thing where you have a really awful dream about someone you know, and you wake up really mad at them, and then you team up with demons and try to sacrifice a bunch of babies and turn New York into Hell? Yeah, me, too. (Uncanny X-Men #233)
In Madelyne’s defense, this really is a super fucked up dream. (Uncanny X-Men #233)
“She’s her old self again, but about six inches shorter.” (Uncanny X-Men #233)
There is literally nothing okay about what is going on here. (Uncanny X-Men #234)
Has anyone ever tried to reproduce this awesome manicure IRL? You should do that. (Uncanny X-Men #234)
The first official apparance of one of the worst villain costumes in X-Men. At least it’s memorable? (Uncanny X-Men #234)
Next Week: This asshole.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

95 – Earthfall

33 comments

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Art by David Wynne
Art by David Wynne

 

In which the X-Men finally follow up on a dropped plotline; you should probably not mess with abandoned star sharks; “Dawn of Blood” is a sometimes food; The Goblin Queen makes her first appearance; we debut a new podcast feature; and there may or may not be a frozen woman in the Xavier School basement.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Providian Order
  • Uncanny X-Men #232-234
  • The Brood (again)
  • Several ill-fated campers
  • Harry Palmer
  • The Brood as horror antagonists
  • Why John Doggett is the best X-Files agent
  • Psylocke’s armor
  • Why Nestor Carbonell should play Gambit
  • Some deeply dubious codenames
  • Red Bee
  • Michael the Bee
  • Reverend William Conover and his Glory Day Crusade
  • The Mile High Diner
  • The strange case of Hannah Conover
  • One hell of a nightmare
  • A deal with a devil
  • InfernoWatch
  • The direct market
  • Ways to approach an endless serial

INFERNO WATCH:

  • Madelyne meets and strikes a deal with S’ym
  • First appearance of the Goblin Queen costume

NEXT EPISODE: Evolutionary War

CORRECTION: In this episode, Jay recalled the direct market as having been conceived in significant part by Carol Kalish. It was, in fact, the brainchild of Phil Seuling.

You can find a visual companion to this episode–and links to recommended reading–on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Rachel & Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 72

3 comments

Week of February 3, 2016:

In which we are pleasantly surprised by Greg Land; Magneto makes some valid fashion choices; Jay has a lot of feelings about universe-splitting; and Worst X-Man Ever ends in the only way it ever could.

REVIEWED:

  • Uncanny X-Men #3 (00:26)
  • *X-Men: Worst X-Man Ever #5 (06:07)

*Pick of the Week (11:33)

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. These video reviews–and everything else here–are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

94 – WELCOME TO DIE! (feat. Elisabeth Allie)

32 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Miles and Elisabeth X-Plain Pryde of the X-Men; Magneto is somehow even worse at branding than Mystique; the X-Universe is in desperate need of responsible adults; Wolverine hates kids; everybody’s mean to Lockheed; and the Sentinels represent your feelings.

X-PLAINED:

  • Wolverine’s Australian accent
  • Pryde of the X-Men
  • X-Men / Muppet Babies analogues
  • The Brotherhood of Mutant Terrorists
  • How not to comfort scared teenagers
  • The X-Cessible X-Men
  • The Mutant Power Circuit
  • Terrible parenting
  • A MacGuffin
  • A Really Dubious Evil Plot
  • Several Additional MacGuffins
  • THE POWER!
  • One of many reasons to be nice to animals
  • Space
  • The X-Men Arcade Game
  • Ground Kontrol
  • X-Men: Madness in Murderworld
  • The Uncanny X-Men (game)
  • Metaphorical sentinels
  • Mysterious lizards
  • Video game mechanics vs. superhero ethics
  • Pryde of the X-Men vs the ’90s animated series vs. X-Men: Evolution
  • Alternate animated series hooks

NEXT WEEK: The Brood go to a revival meeting

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Rachel & Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 71

6 comments

Week of January 27, 2016:


In which Extraordinary X-Men should have started with #6; Worst X-Man Ever is remarkably self-aware; and Old Man Logan is the kind of thing you like if you like that kind of thing.

REVIEWED:

  • *Extraordinary X-Men #6 (00:27)
  • X-Men: Worst X-Man Ever #4 (04:46)
  • Old Man Logan #1 (09:14)

*Pick of the Week (12:40)

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. These video reviews–and everything else here–are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

A Brief Heads-Up

34 comments
Art by Russell Dauterman.
(Dauterman / Sotomayor)

Jay here!

A quick heads up: for the next few weeks I’ll be out of town, getting and then recovering from top surgery (Yay!).

Here’s what to expect:

PODCASTS: Business as usual! We’ve recorded ahead a few weeks out, and the splendid Elisabeth Allie is going to be filling in so that I can take a few consecutive weeks off. Miles will be handling the copy and visual companions for an episode or two; please be nice to him as he gets his sea legs.

VIDEO REVIEWS: Miles is flying solo while I’m in Florida! Depending on the concentration of books, video reviews will go up either weekly or every other week. Also, I stole the external mic so we could record episode 93, so, that might be a thing. SORRY, MILES!

EVERYTHING ELSE: Blog and social media will probably be pretty quiet for at least the first week; and you should expect significant delays on e-mail correspondence. If you need to get in touch with us about something time-sensitive between now and January 23, please e-mail xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com with “ATTN: MILES” in the subject line.

XO,

J

As Mentioned in Episode 91 – The Saddest Story Ever Told

8 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
The vaguely slapstick motifs in this story somehow make it even sadder. (New Mutants #64)
And it really only gets more depressing from here. (New Mutants #64)
No, seriously. (New Mutants #64)
Everything is terrible forever. (New Mutants #64)
=( (New Mutants #64)
Yeah, we do not have a sassy caption for this. Sorry. (New Mutants #64)
Aw, man. These kids. (New Mutants #64)
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
Harder than fighting Sentinels, apparently. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
“It’s four hours of me, a vacuum cleaner, and a theremin.” (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
The X-Men take costume parties REALLY DAMN SERIOUSLY. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
“Also, that is literally one of the only two non-uniform outfits you own.” (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
How not to lay out a page for coherent reading order. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
SO THEN THAT HAPPENED. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
And they all lived happily ever after. THE END! (But Doug Ramsey was still dead.) (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)

91 – The Saddest Story Ever Told

39 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which New Mutants #64 is the saddest single issue of any X-book ever; the New Mutants have to grow up fast; Warlock comes to terms with mortality; The Last of Us is harder to play the second time; Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade is delightfully unhinged; animated Cyclops is totally the worst; Beast probably has a terrible garage band; Jean starts a kitchen fire; and Wolverine saves Jubilee’s birthday.

 

X-PLAINED:

  • The saddest issue ever
  • New Mutants #64
  • The only okay way to watch Grave of the Fireflies
  • The aftermath of Doug Ramsey’s death
  • Several unhealthy coping mechanisms
  • The Last of Us
  • Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade
  • Some varyingly impressive costumes
  • General irresponsibility
  • Why Wolverine is wearing a clown suit
  • Douglock
  • The New Mutants’ D&D alignments

NEXT WEEK: You never forget your first Ship.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 90 – Ghosts of the Outback

17 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Dazzler is pretty fundamentally confused about the idea of “hiding out.” (Uncanny X-Men #228)
O.Z. Chase: Bounty Hunter, Not a Werewolf. (Uncanny X-Men #228)
WOLVERINE. DON’T FEED DOGS CIGARS. WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DO THAT. YOU ARE THE WORST. (Uncanny X-Men #228)
Oh, hey, it’s the Walter Peck of the Marvel Universe. (Uncanny X-Men #228)
Good times, good times. (Uncanny X-Men #228)
The Reavers. No, not those reavers. The other Reavers. One of them’s a tank. Centank. Tanktaur. (Uncanny X-Men #229)
That tattoo, man. (Uncanny X-Men #229)
Hi, Gateway! (Uncanny X-Men #229)
Do these guys know how to party, or what? (Uncanny X-Men #229)
“Look, we didn’t really think the whole horde thing through.” (Uncanny X-Men #229)
“Also, you’ll start spelling ‘tiger’ with a Y.” (Uncanny X-Men #229)
Those sound effects! (Uncanny X-Men #229)
Chekhov’s mystic portal. (Uncanny X-Men #229)
Really not feeling that costume, Storm. (Uncanny X-Men #230)
SPOILER: This will not end well. (Uncanny X-Men #230)
Question: Based on his powers, is it SUPER AWKWARD for Longshot to use the toilet? (Uncanny X-Men #230)
Alex. You’re the Summers brother who can see colors. There is no excuse for this. (Uncanny X-Men #230)
Elf Dazzler meshes weirdly well with the whole “Baby Boomer Santa” thing from Community. (Uncanny X-Men #230)
Aw. (Uncanny X-Men #230)
Rick Leonardi is so good, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men #231)
Good hat, though. (Uncanny X-Men #231)
Hot, and also hot. (Uncanny X-Men #231)
CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT WHAT STORM IS WEARING? (Uncanny X-Men #231)
Leonardi draws the best Darkchylde by a pretty wide margin. (Uncanny X-Men #231)
How awesome would it be if the Xavier Institute always looked like this? SO AWESOME. (Uncanny X-Men #231)
Aw, man. Right in the feels. (Uncanny X-Men #231)
NEXT WEEK: The saddest story ever.

LINKS & FURTHER READING

90 – Ghosts of the Outback

56 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which the X-Men move to Australia; O.Z. Chase is definitely not a werewolf; Dazzler is a smart, glittery laser cookie; Gateway falls into some uncomfortable tropes; Havok remains the king of terrible hats; Madelyne Pryor hacks the planet; Rogue makes a friend; Rick Leonardi draws the definitive Magik; Colossus’ secondary mutation is allegory; and there are a lot of great places to donate your old backissues.

X-PLAINED:

  • Gateway’s probable origin
  • Wintry mix
  • Miles’s definitive X-era
  • Uncanny X-Men #228-231
  • O.Z. Chase
  • Vladimir Zaitzev
  • The Reavers (No, not those Reavers)
  • Bonebreaker
  • Skullcrusher
  • Pretty Boy
  • Children
  • Jessan Hoan (Tyger Tiger)
  • Gateway
  • Teamwork (more) (again)
  • The Siege Perilous
  • Cooterman’s Creek
  • Jay’s favorite mythic figure (and long-term career goal)
  • The best brother in the Marvel Universe
  • A really sad team-up
  • Favorite X-science moments
  • Where to donate comic books

NEXT WEEK: The saddest story ever

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!