Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Author: Jay

As Mentioned in Episode 176 – My Flashback With Andre

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
This guyyyyyyyyy! (Wolverine #48)
JUBILEE, NO. God, she’s not even wearing any safety gear. (Wolverine #48)
That, Jubilee, is a Lotus 7. Your mentor’s car. Not as clumsy or overwrought as a DeLorean. An elegant media reference… for a more civilized age. (Wolverine #48)
THAT IS A TERRIBLE WAY TO SHOW SOMEONE THE GUN YOU FOUND. (Wolverine #48)
Actually, Jubilee, Wolverine is 100% in the right here. (Wolverine #48)
No one should ever make this show under any circumstances. (Wolverine #48)
Spoiler: No funky butts are in fact dispensated. (Wolverine #48)
Toldja! It’s Lee Harvey Oswald and Jack Ruby! (Wolverine #49)
WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST WRITE HER NAME FIRST? IT WOULD HAVE FIT! (Wolverine #49)
The calendar is a little silly, but it’s also an incredibly eerie, cool detail. (Wolverine #49)
“I am not a number! I am a free man!” (Wolverine #49)
Sure, it’s a gimmick; but it’s a cool gimmick! (Wolverine #50)
LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL, RIDICULOUS BASTARD AND HIS BEAUTIFUL, RIDICULOUS MOTORCYCLE. (Wolverine #50)
In Hines’s defense, Canada-616 is absolutely terrible. (Wolverine #50)
…and you, in turn, watch the Hydra operatives; as the NSA watches you; and… (Wolverine #50)
I take this to mean that somewhere there’s a splinter universe where Wolverine had an idyllic but ultimately tragic dalliance with a giant artichoke. (Wolverine #50)
HOW MANY YEARS HAS THAT PIECE OF CAKE BEEN SITTING THERE? (Wolverine #50)
I like the idea that the BIG SECRET isn’t that they faked his memories but that they had to reuse sets because of budget constraints. (Wolverine #50)
Sure you are, buddy. (Wolverine #50)
TWIST! (Wolverine #50)
I appreciate the implication that the ultimate horror is a high school prom. (Wolverine #50)
Aw, Logan. Never change. (Wolverine #50)
NEXT EPISODE: Centaur fight at the State Fair (and other educational adventures)!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING

176 – My Flashback With Andre

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we were on public radio; it’s probably best just to ignore Romulus; Miles still hasn’t seen the Prisoner and should be very ashamed of himself; toy licensing is the stuff of nightmares; you can upgrade your bloodbath for an additional $1.25; Jay may or may not have family ties to Weapon X; we are suckers for die-cut covers; Wolverine knows how to commit to a gag; and you have some pretty remarkable dreams.

X-PLAINED:

  • Wolverine’s CIA contacts
  • Murder-related birthday traditions
  • Wolverine #48-50
  • The ship Righteous Indignation and the ‘ship Righteous Indignation
  • Wolverine size creep
  • Injudicious footwear
  • Serial sidekicks
  • Miles’s continual failure to watch The Prisoner
  • The Summers Crash model of flashbacks
  • Panties and/or grenades
  • Several varyingly reliable flashbacks
  • How memory works
  • Mastodon
  • Andre
  • How memory doesn’t really work
  • Kids’ toy licensing
  • Quasimodo’s hangout
  • Women in Refrigerators
  • Secret agent skills
  • The Dalton school of argument
  • A legitimately cool cover gimmick
  • Wolverine vs. the Helicarrier
  • Adamantium handicrafts
  • Shiva (but not that one)
  • Silver Fox (again) (kind of)
  • A cataclysmic memory backlash
  • Antarctic X-Hijinks
  • Jay & Miles’s adventures in YOUR DREAMS

NEXT EPISODE: Centaurs of Texas

CORRECTION: Kyle Rayner’s girlfriend was the source of the Women In Refrigerator’s trope–not Hal Jordan’s, as Jay stated in this episode.

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 175 – Lady Windermere’s Fan Club

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
This series should really be more fun than it is. (X-Men: True Friends #1)
“On one hand, you’re probably doomed. On the other hand, I did your laundry!” (X-Men: True Friends #1)
Excalibur is SUPER into trad night. (X-Men: True Friends #1)
Turning every head… except the one she wants to. (X-Men: True Friends #1)
Rachel Summers: master of subtlety. (X-Men: True Friends #1)
The absence of Dr. Druid from this story is really inexcusable. (X-Men: True Friends #1)
Lilibet wants nothing to do with that ludicrous accent. (X-Men: True Friends #1)
It wouldn’t be a Claremont book without an aviation lesson! (X-Men: True Friends #1)
Ugh. THAT guy. (X-Men: True Friends #2)
FUN FACT: We learned after recording this episode that Edward and Wallis were SUPER into fascism. NOT COOL. (X-Men: True Friends #2)
Laird Hetero McNonthreatening and his amazing Hypercolor kilt! (X-Men: True Friends #2)
AND THEN THIS HAPPENED. (X-Men: True Friends #2)
“If only my bones were made out of something super dense that made me useless underwater, amirite?” (X-Men: True Friends #2)
Hiiiii, Logan. (X-Men: True Friends #2)
“I’ll go kill the Nazis. You kids hang out under the dock and neck, or whatever.” (X-Men: True Friends #2)
He is a man of simple pleasures. (X-Men: True Friends #2)
Welcome to the time loop! Hope you survive the… oh. OH. Sorry. (X-Men: True Friends #3)
Oh, man. (X-Men: True Friends #3)
Don’t fuck with Kitty Pryde. (X-Men: True Friends #3)
I would read the HELL out of a comic about these three. (X-Men: True Friends #3)
This is the best costume Kitty Pryde will ever have, hands down. (X-Men: True Friends #3)
Yaaaawn. (X-Men: True Friends #3)
“Well, I do like redheads…” (X-Men: True Friends #3)
I don’t know what the Sword of Scone is, but it sounds DELICIOUS. (X-Men: True Friends #3)
I really love that the Phoenix Force has defeated Nazis with the power of queerness on AT LEAST TWO DISTINCT OCCASIONS. (X-Men: True Friends #3)
“They’re not corgis, but we suppose that they’ll have to do.” (X-Men: True Friends #3)
NEXT EPISODE: This guy.

175 – Lady Windermere’s Fan Club

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Gambit is transatlantically terrible; Rick Leonardi is the poor man’s Alan Davis (but in a good way); we try and fail to care about British royals; Miles should probably read some Oscar Wilde already; Jay has a lot of feelings about The Rocketeer; Shadowcat gets a genuinely stylish costume; and we would read the hell out of a series about Destiny, Mystique, and Wolverine’s WWII adventures.

X-PLAINED:

  • Why Gambit isn’t welcome in the United Kingdom
  • X-Men: True Friends #1-3
  • The poor man’s Alan Davis
  • Trad night
  • Laird Alasdhair Kinross and his nonthreatening but convenient heterosexuality
  • Inexplicably absent familial relationships
  • Queen Lilibet the Second
  • Lady Regina Windermere
  • Several notable British fascists of the 1930s
  • A snazzy airplane
  • Several nefarious plots
  • Formal pajamas
  • The mystery of the Hypercolor™ kilt
  • A large number of strong feelings about The Rocketeer
  • Kitty Pryde’s best costumes
  • Weaponized cosmic queerness (again)
  • Power, agency, and the Dark Phoenix Saga
  • How characters end up with their specific mutations.

NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine, again.

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

174 – Ed Piskor’s Grand Design

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jay sits down with cartoonist Ed Piskor to talk about the upcoming X-Men: Grand Design!

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men: Gal Pals!

The visual companion to this episode can be found in X-Men: Grand Design #1, available from your local comics shop this December!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

173 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 2

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Abs-lantis will not be denied; “slightly traumatized” is basically the default state of Xavier’s original students; we pick up the slack for Nicieza; Banshee and Moira MacTaggert probably have an active and varied love life; Xavier miscounts the X-Men; we look back over the Claremont/Simonson era of the X-Universe; and Jay makes a case for the re-resurrection of Jean Grey.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Men: Red
  • Namor’s beard
  • The conclusion of the Muir Island Saga
  • Uncanny X-Men #280
  • X-Factor #70.
  • Cool orange spacesuits that make you immune to telepathy
  • Off-brand Magneto hats
  • Literary terrors of our childhoods
  • Agents DeMarco & Heacock (R.I.P.)
  • Casual use of nuclear weaponry
  • The cavalry
  • The end of the Shadow King
  • The most dysfunctional timeline
  • Uncanny X-Men #200-278
  • The case for an eclectic X-Universe
  • X-Campus
  • Resurrections, and when they do and don’t work

NEXT EPISODE: Ed Piskor’s Grand Design

The visual companion to this episode will be up sometime before the end of 2017, by which point Jay’s lungs will hopefully be working again. Yay?

(Seriously, though, fuck this cold. Fuck this cold so much.)

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 172 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 1

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
But what if his dialogue also had its OWN tiny captions? (Uncanny X-Men #278)
“And that one dude from Final Fight will help me!” (Uncanny X-Men #278)
But whom could this mysterious stranger be? (Uncanny X-Men #278)
LOOK AT THIS EVIL FASHION QUEEN (Uncanny X-Men #278)
There is nothing okay happening here. (Uncanny X-Men #278)
Here, on the other hand, everything is beautiful and nothing hurts. (Uncanny X-Men #278)
That’s not… I mean… you know what? Never mind. (Uncanny X-Men #278)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Uncanny X-Men #278)
Honestly, there are so many answers to that question. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
His other power is flashbacks. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
And with that, Chris Claremont flew off into space, to explore new horizons. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Say what you want about her morals; Evil Rogue has a pretty rad costume. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
OH, HELL, YEAH! (Uncanny X-Men #279)
X-Factor’s New Wave era was brief but distinctive. (X-Factor #69)
It really never gets any more okay, does it? (No.) (X-Factor #69)
Why does Reisz suddenly have red hair? WHO KNOWS? IT’S A MYSTERY! (X-Factor #69)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (X-Factor #69)
The Art of War involves some remarkably specific ruminations on spandex. (X-Factor #69)
Wait for it… (X-Factor #69)
YES! (X-Factor #69)
Also 2017 in a nutshell. (X-Factor #69)
WELL, THAT CAN’T BE GOOD. (X-Factor #69)
NEXT EPISODE: Don’t smoke, kids. (Also, the Muir Island Saga concludes.)

LINKS & FURTHER READING

 

172 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 1

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which you are probably more familiar with this show than Jay and Miles are; Paul Smith makes good art; the Shadow King is so extra that his narration has its own narration; Evil Sexy Moira is a fashion queen; there are absolutely no circumstances in which it is appropriate to use the phrase “fist-o-rama”; Legion gets possessed; and we know absolutely nothing about Pokémon.

 

X-PLAINED:

  • Universes where people are other people
  • What Miles thought of Thor: Ragnorok (spoiler-free)
  • The Muir Island Saga (Part 1)
  • Uncanny X-Men #278-279
  • X-Factor #69
  • Teflon continuity
  • Our (lack of) favorite episodes of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
  • The Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men wiki
  • An alternate timeline
  • Corpse telepathy
  • A diabolical plan, sort of
  • Topicality
  • Theft
  • Sci-Fi Warlord Moira MacTaggert
  • Improbable aerodynamics
  • The greatest thing
  • The death of Peter Nicholas
  • The uncanny genital valley
  • Interesting ways to expand Cyclops’s powers
  • X-Pokémon

NEXT EPISODE: The Muir Island Saga concludes!

ART CHALLENGE: Send us your horrifying X-Pokémon! (Note: We were not kidding when we said that we know absolutely nothing about Pokémon, which means that we will probably believe anything you tell us about canon. Have fun!)

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 171 – Badly Punctuated Equilibrium

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! https://xplainthexmen.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/X170.mp3
Domestic bliss, X-Factor-style. (X-Factor Forever #1)
Aw, this guy. (X-Factor Forever #1)
Timmy’s grandmother has good judgment. (X-Factor Forever #1)
“Hey, kids! Have some flechettes!” (X-Factor Forever #1)
Dang. Good job, Hank. (X-Factor Forever #1)
“I did, however, find myself some sweet new glasses.” (X-Factor Forever #1)
Every drawing of Apocalypse’s face in this series is utterly delightful. (X-Factor Forever #2)
When writers no-prize the art… (X-Factor Forever #2)
DAMNIT, TIMMY. (X-Factor Forever #2)
Happy birthday, Timmy, I guess? (X-Factor Forever #2)
Well, THAT can’t be good. (X-Factor Forever #3)
This series makes a fairly good case for both mutant rights and subsidized childcare. (X-Factor Forever #3)
How you know it’s serious business. (X-Factor Forever #3)
I love that they have named and numbered all of their special moves. (X-Factor Forever #3)
“Dude, we are literally holding up one of those children, right here, in front of you.” (X-Factor Forever #3)
Well, shit. (X-Factor Forever #3)
Aw, man, this cover is so fun. (X-Factor Forever #4)
If only your boss listened to Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men. (X-Factor Forever #4)
X-Factor, doing what they do best! (X-Factor Forever #4)
BUT WHY ARE THEY ALL DRESSED UP? (X-Factor Forever #4)
Can we all just take a moment to enjoy Sinister’s deeply goofy face in this panel? (X-Factor Forever #4)
“Who’s on first,” Summers family edition. (X-Factor Forever #4)
Seriously, it’s a great reaction image. (X-Factor Forever #4)
Pretty much any variation on this panel will always get me straight in the feels. (X-Factor Forever #4)
“I dunno. What if we just, like, lob a baby at him?” (X-Factor Forever #5)
I just really like this panel. (X-Factor Forever #5)
“You didn’t tell me this was a VACATION,” said Cyclops. (X-Factor Forever #5)
NEXT EPISODE: The Muir Island Saga, and the secret origins of this nonsense!

As Mentioned in Episode 170 – Minor Punitive Heart Attacks

One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Man, Excalibur, way to be jerks. (Excalibur #37)
If I had a dollar for every dream that had started this way… (Excalibur #37)
Spoiler: Nah. (Excalibur #37)
Kitty, you probably should’ve seen that coming. (Excalibur #37)
And now, some West Coast Avengers! (Excalibur #37)
The Lady of the… swimming pool? (Excalibur #37)
Convenient, that! (Excalibur #37)
Headcanon: He is definitely singing that music. (Excalibur #37)
Pietro’s not wrong; he’s just an asshole. (Excalibur #38)
Captain Britain, everybody. (Excalibur #38)
The heart of Limbo! (Excalibur #38)
“The reel, on the other hand…” (Excalibur #38)
“For me, it was Tuesday.” (Excalibur #39)
Bye, S’ym! (Excalibur #39)
And then everyone forgot he existed. (Excalibur #39)
Or maybe you should learn how meter works. Y’know, just a thought. (Excalibur #40)
Lockheed X-Plains Excalibur. (Excalibur #40)
Lockheed, NO. (Excalibur #40)
Aw. Dai Thomas has his moments. (Excalibur #40)
Spoiler: They do not kill him. (Excalibur #40)
The punchline is that they STILL haven’t figure out phones. (Excalibur #40)
This gag really never gets old. (Excalibur #41)
‘Kay. (Excalibur #41)
It’s always Inferno in here. (Excalibur #41)
This must be the best day of Dai Thomas’s life. (Excalibur #41)
Is it ever, though? (Excalibur #41)
THERE IS NO WAY THAT THAT WON’T BACKFIRE HORRIBLY. (Excalibur #41)
I like the idea that Cable is basically the X-Switchboard at this point. (Excalibur #41)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor Forever!