Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Author: Jay

As Mentioned in Episode 196 – The Power Is Yours

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Look at these heroes being all heroic! (Excalibur #48)
Feron. (Excalibur #48)
Poor Rachel; like her *actual* memories aren’t traumatic enough on their own… (Excalibur #48)
Kyluun is a serious hero with serious skills… (Excalibur #48)
…mostly. (Excalibur #48)
Meet the new Widget. (Excalibur #48)
Aw, man, I LIKED that logo. (Excalibur #49)
The cross-time incursions in this issue are really fun. (Excalibur #49)
No, seriously. (Excalibur #49)
I like to imagine them all getting together and drinking tea and just sort of looking shell-shocked in quiet sympathy. (Excalibur #49)
“Quick, check for pouches!” (Excalibur #49)
Meanwhile in the multiverse… (Excalibur #49)
Ugh, THAT GUY. (Excalibur #49)
Props to introducing the new logo as a punchline to the previous cover. (Excalibur #50)
Kitty Pryde running into walls: never not funny. (Excalibur #50)
‘Kay. (Excalibur #50)
And in that moment, we were all Alistaire. (Excalibur #50)
His hands are huge and they can touch anything but themselves. (Excalibur #50)
HELL, YEAH. (Excalibur #50)
And THAT’S how you do an epic space battle. (Excalibur #50)
So there. (Excalibur #50)
UGHHHHH, THIS JERK. (Excalibur #50)
If I could remember the episode where I’d first made the “shoddy capitalist workmanship” joke, this caption would definitely be a callback to that. (Excalibur #50)
*Rimshot* (Excalibur #50)
NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine is pretty short.

LINKS & FURTHER READING

  • Apparently the dead mail-order monkeys were apocryphal, although we were able to dig up some fairly nightmarish accounts of live mail-order monkeys. …Yay?

As Mentioned in Episode 195 – Johnny Got His Robot Arm

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
LOOK AT ALL THOSE POUCHES. (X-Force #8)
And now for something completely different. (X-Force #8)
Fun fact: You can drop this dialogue into almost any panel involving Cable and at least one other character, and it’ll still work. (X-Force #8)
On one hand: Mignola is great. On the other hand: I have some questions about the decision to just straight-up draw Garrison Kane as Marlon Brando. (X-Force #8)
Aw, A.I.M., you wacky kids. (X-Force #8)
Cable’s sense of drama is ON POINT. (X-Force #8)
Domino is pretty genre-aware. (X-Force #9)
Not gonna lie: I dig Liefeld’s take on Blob. (X-Force #9)
If you weren’t imagining Feral’s line in the voice of a 10-year-old Danny Tamberelli, congratulations: you are now. (X-Force #9)
‘Kay. (X-Force #9)
And that, kids, is why balloon placements matter. (I mean, there are a lot of other reasons, too. But this is one of them.) (X-Force #9)
Stryfe’s armor doesn’t just have nipples. Stryfe’s armor has FOUR nipples. (X-Force #10)
Nothing is okay about this picture. (X-Force #10)
Speaking of likenesses, remember the time Cannonball was David Bowie? (X-Force #10)
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. the Anti-Phoenix!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

195 – Johnny Got His Robot Arm

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jay may have Stockholm syndrome; Nick Fury is objectively sillier than G. W. Bridge; we get a brief artistic reprieve; Cable’s legal expertise does not extend to trademarks; our favorite Ship returns; Miles’s grandmother calls it like it is; Sauron is bad at taxonomy; and Garrison Kane is basically a very violent Inspector Gadget.

X-PLAINED:

  • Brother Mutant
  • X-Force #8-10
  • X-Force (again)
  • A protracted flashback
  • The Wild and/or Six Pack
  • A heist
  • A trap
  • Yet more Ed Wood references
  • A future
  • The Professor (Ship)
  • Gratuitous face shadows
  • A mystery
  • Cable casting
  • Several misplaced word balloons
  • The logistics of tentacle arms
  • The High Lords (Externals)
  • Michael Bay’s Johnny Got His Gun
  • General Clark and his diving suit
  • Good Magneto stories
  • How to get your dad into X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. the Anti-Phoenix!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

 

As Mentioned in Episode 194 – Brood Trouble in the Big Easy

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Cyclops may not have a lot of people skills, but he’s pretty good at boundaries. (X-Men #8)
Last panel of Forge being awful, I promise (for now). (X-Men #8)
Aw, they all posed. (X-Men #8)
Never meet your heroes. (X-Men #8)
Once you see the Pikachu in Psylocke’s swimsuit, you’ll never unsee it. (X-Men #8)
“We have fun, don’t we?” (X-Men #8)
And that’s why you always leave a note! (X-Men #8)
Meet Mrs. Gambit. (X-Men #8)
Trolling law enforcement is one of the subtler perks of being Ghost Rider. (X-Men #8)
“…Lord Byron!” (Ghost Rider #26)
Oh. Him, too, I guess. (Ghost Rider #26)
I mean, yeah, he’s a dick; but this is pretty excessive. (Ghost Rider #26)
The two most dramatic men in New Orleans. (Ghost Rider #26)
TBH, those outfits are pretty understated by Assassins Guild standards. (Ghost Rider #26)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Ghost Rider #26)
I give him some flack, but nobody draws grossed out teenagers like Jim Lee. (X-Men #9)
The inside of Ghost Rider’s mind; and, coincidentally, the cover of his first hit single. (X-Men #9)
(It’s okay. She’ll be back later.) (X-Men #9)
Meanwhile in the upside down… (X-Men #9)
Um, yes. She does. You already know that, Wolverine. (X-Men #9)
X-Men crossovers are pretty hard on guest stars. (X-Men #9)
I’m just gonna leave this here, sans comment. (X-Men #9)
NEXT EPISODE: Mike Mignola’s X-Force!

194 – Brood Trouble in the Big Easy

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In which Ghost Rider has some fairly serious medical issues; you should probably never invite Bishop to a picnic; Gambit’s past catches up with him; it’s always Mardi Gras in Fictional New Orleans; Wolverine is thrilled; and Jay swears a solemn vow.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Tithe
  • The Momentary Princess
  • The T’ieves Guild
  • Why real New Orleans doesn’t have catacombs
  • X-Men #8-9
  • Ghost Rider #26-27
  • The abstract idea of Nicholas Cage
  • Genesis
  • The last of the X-Men
  • A sick burn
  • A picnic
  • Boundaries
  • Bella Donna Boudreaux and her many apostrophes
  • Ghost Rider
  • Psegway
  • Julian Boudreaux
  • How not to respond to a speeding ticket
  • The Bootie Man
  • Horse names vs. katana names
  • Cathartic excess
  • X-holidays
  • Doomsday
  • Good characters from awful events

NEXT EPISODE: The Externals, for our sins

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 193 – Sewers of Tomorrow

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
On one hand: These dudes are pretty rad. On the other hand: being able to detect normal humans is a pretty ridiculous mutant power. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
John Romita, Jr. can be hit-or-miss, but he definitely draws some rad miscreants of the future. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
WOMP. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
Compulsory Fitzroy Hair Appreciation Moment(TM). (Uncanny X-Men #277)
The Witness, in all his really creepy glory. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
Can you imagine trying to have a conversation with this dude? (Uncanny X-Men #277)
I don’t understand what’s happening with Cyclops’s torso; and, frankly, I don’t want to. (Uncanny X-Men #278)
“Look! A distraction!” (Uncanny X-Men #278)
The first appearance of the letter… (Uncanny X-Men #278)
…and the second, FROM THE SAME FLIPPIN’ PAGE. (Uncanny X-Men #278)
Thaaaaat’s our Archangel! (Uncanny X-Men #278)
Can confirm. -Jay (Uncanny X-Men #278)
*Today, at least. (Uncanny X-Men #278)
Long Island cops are clearly unfamiliar with Cyburai. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Mystique is exceptionally bad at helping. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Damnit, Forge. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Storm’s reaction is appropriate. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Bobby. Have you MET your parents? (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Best. Date. Ever. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Remember that time Mikhail Rasputin turned a random skater into a tree? Because that certainly happened. (Uncanny X-Men #280)
Hanging out naked in the rain? This dude is DEFINITELY learning the ropes from Storm. (Uncanny X-Men #280)
DAMNIT, Forge. (Uncanny X-Men #280)
NEXT EPISODE: Brood trouble in the Big Easy!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

193 – Sewers of Tomorrow

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we pour one out for Malcolm and Randall; Cyclops is the worst at fun; Storm is better than you and always will be; Bishop forgets his first name; the X-Men can’t tie bow ties; Iceman’s dad is spectacularly awful; Mikhail Rasputin may have some lingering issues; and Doug Ramsey would probably have been pretty entertained by Hackers if he had survived long enough to see it.

X-PLAINED:

  • Whether Professor Xavier is dead
  • Marvel time vs. podcast time
  • Uncanny X-Men #287-290
  • The Wit and Wisdom of Henry McCoy
  • A dance of death and destruction
  • Styglut
  • Future flashbacks
  • Sewers of tomorrow
  • The Witness
  • “Fun”
  • Blood math
  • A mysterious letter
  • A terrible date
  • Several capes
  • The return of the cyburai
  • A theoretical Hackers crossover

NEXT EPISODE: Brood trouble in the Big Easy!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Knowing Is Half the Battle (The Other Half Is Sentinels)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Roughly a zillion years ago, we asked you to send in your ideas for public service announcements–serious or satirical–starring the X-Men. At long last, we’ve sorted out our favorites and collected them here for your exclusive edutainment!

Ready to learn about graduate student funding, traffic safety, image attribution, and parenting with the X-Men? READ ON!

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As Mentioned in Episode 192 – Meet the N-Men

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
All-new, all-different! (Excalibur #45)
And that’s why you don’t bring Technet on a stakeout. (Excalibur #45)
LOOK AT THESE DELIGHTFUL INDIVIDUALS (Excalibur #45)
She’s not wrong. (Excalibur #45)
Really, really good use of shadows, there. (Excalibur #45)
MEET THE N-MEN! (Excalibur #45)
Remember this guy. He’s gonna be a major antagonist. (Excalibur #45)
Ah, Joyboy, we hardly knew thee. (Excalibur #45)
Meggan contains multitudes. (Excalibur #46)
Aw, Zombie Thor looks so happy to be there. (Excalibur #46)
If things like peeing in solitude are important to you, you should probably not join Excalibur. (Excalibur #46)
Nightcrawler: canonically EXTRA heroic. (Excalibur #46)
*Rimshot* (Excalibur #46)
Sparkly! (Excalibur #46)
Meggan’s true form has SERIOUS hair. (Excalibur #46)
Aw, Widget. (Excalibur #46)
One of the all-time classic Excalibur covers. (Excalibur #47)
THE GREATEST LOVE STORY IN COMICS. (Excalibur #47)
Hi, Cerise! (Excalibur #47)
Damnit, Merlyn. This is why we can’t have nice things.(Excalibur #47)
Kurt, if you don’t know which book you’re in by now, I don’t know what to tell you. (Excalibur #47)
They do this with THE WHOLE STORY, and it warms my shriveled heart. (Excalibur #47)
NEXT EPISODE: A Bishop in the house!

LINKS & FURTHER READING: