Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Author: Jay

As Mentioned in Episode 217 – Piotr the Obscure

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Well, that’s not ominous. (X-Men #17)
I like the idea that this dude is the one narrating the story. (X-Men #17)
Darkstar’s family is unreasonably complicated even by Marvel standards. (X-Men #17)
I like to think he watches this like a soap opera. (X-Men #17)
Colossus is still all about cathartic landscaping. (X-Men #17)
This is a very awkward scene, for reasons including but not limited to Scott’s deeply baffling anatomy. (X-Men #17)
Two great tastes that go great together! (X-Men #18)
I’m sure there’s a lot of emotional resonance on this page, but I’m too distracted by the BABY WITH STRYFE’S HEAD to care. (X-Men #18)
CLASSIC. (X-Men #18)
I really appreciate that Illyana appears to be visiting this cover from an entirely different genre, possibly one with hella vampires. (X-Men #19)
Remember the time the X-Men defeated a guy by being TOO ANGSTY FOR HIM TO DIGEST? Because that absolutely happened. (X-Men #19)
That said, the Soul Skinner’s got some angst of his own. (X-Men #19)
Balloon placement matters, kids. (X-Men #19)
Well, then. (X-Men #19)
Ah, mistrust walks, a fundamental of teambuilding. (X-Men #17)
Hi, Revanche. (X-Men #17)
NEXT EPISODE: Uncanny X-Men hits a major milestone!

217 – Piotr the Obscure

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which it sucks to be a Rasputin; X-Men and Uncanny X-Men muddy the waters; Cyclops and Psylocke’s weird flirtation somehow manages to get even more awkward; Colossus has a long series of bad days; and you should totally come see us at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival.

X-PLAINED:

  • An atypical curriculum
  • Jay & Miles at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival
  • X-Men #17-19
  • What Colossus and Magik have been up to
  • X-Men title disambiguation
  • The terrible fate of the town of Neftelensk
  • Blind Faith (Alexi Garnov)
  • Darkstar (Laynia Petrovna)
  • Darkstar
  • Beard auras
  • Cathartic interdimensional landscaping
  • Flagwatch 113
  • Red Flag 113
  • An awkward encounter
  • The Soul Skinner
  • The tactical value of cute little ears
  • Dubious cold-weather apparel
  • Jude the Obscure
  • Weaponized angst
  • An inopportune coloring error
  • Lack of pants
  • Whether Pyro could control Jubilee’s “fireworks”
  • How to enjoy dated comics

NEXT EPISODE: Uncanny X-Men hits a major milestone!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 216 – X-Amining X-Factor

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X-Factor does not take particularly well to therapy, to nobody’s particular surprise. (X-Factor #87)
Nope. (X-Factor #87)
Looking forward to a visual companion full of cleverly framed two-person conversations? No? TOO BAD, ‘CAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE GETTING. (X-Factor #87)
It’s rough to be Pietro Maximoff; but at least you get to dress like THAT. (X-Factor #87)
I love how character-specific these layouts are– (X-Factor #87)
–none moreso than Multiple Man’s. (X-Factor #87)
“It doesn’t help that my only hobby is lurking in foliage.” (X-Factor #87)
I’m putting this in so that you’ll get why the next sequence is so clever. (X-Factor #87)
See what I mean? (X-Factor #87)
This could have worked, handled differently; but boy does it not. (X-Factor #87)
SIGH.
Val Cooper is the most sitcom of sitcom bosses. (X-Factor #87)
And that’s why you don’t armchair diagnose! (X-Factor #87)
NEXT EPISODE: Rasputin Family Reunion!

LINKS & FURTHER ANALYSES:

216 – X-Amining X-Factor (feat. Dr. Andrea Letamendi)

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In which Dr. Andrea Letamendi of Arkham Sessions joins us to analyze some analysis; Doc Samson has major scope-of-practice issues; Ren & Stimpy references continue to fail to age well; it’s hard to be Quicksilver; Val Cooper is not your friend; Polaris pretty much always deserves better; Charles Xavier should not be allowed to inhabit positions of power; and labels are often not the best tools for good representations of mental illness and neurodivergence.

X-PLAINED:

  • A very high-stakes 3-D puzzle
  • X-Factor #87
  • Doc Samson
  • Making talking heads interesting
  • Wolfsbane’s relationship to pop culture
  • Appropriate boundaries
  • Several remarkable fashion choices
  • Pietro Maximoff in perspective
  • Therapeutic assessment vs. intervention
  • The extremely tragic backstory of Jamie Madrox
  • Imposter syndrome
  • A brief history of Polaris’s brushes with possession
  • A really poorly planned and presented sequence
  • Consequences of armchair diagnosis
  • Interactions of telepathy and psychology
  • Legion as a portrayal of mental illness
  • Writing mental illness in fiction

NEXT EPISODE: Rasputin Family Reunion!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 215 – Mon de Orb Uno

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
While this cover may be the first story page, it still follows the general rule of Excalibur covers: It’s funny when bad things happen to Captain Britain. (Excalibur #55)
Aw, they look so fancy! (Excalibur #55)
Alan Davis hair: expressive AND extra! (Excalibur #55)
HIS FOOT POPPED. (Excalibur #55)
Remember this plot thread? Alan Davis does. Alan Davis remembers EVERY plot thread. It is his blessing and his curse. (Excalibur #55)
Speaking of threads… (Excalibur #55)
This is both an excellent disguise and a quality Cross-Time Caper callback. (Excalibur #56)
Oof. (Excalibur #56)
This party is the worst. (Excalibur #56)
Captain Britain X-Plains the Plot. (Excalibur #56)
(There’s a lot of plot.)(Excalibur #56)
On one hand, Sat-Yr-9 is very evil. On the other hand, this is still very satisfying. (Excalibur #56)
Meggan is so badass. (Excalibur #56)
There’s a Monty Python sketch about this. (Excalibur #56)
“Next, you eat the banana, thus disarming him!” (Excalibur #56)
Too little, too late, Nick. (Excalibur #56)
Remember this kid? ALAN DAVIS DOES! (Excalibur #57)
KITTY, NO. (Excalibur #57)
Cyclops X-Plains X-Factor #41-42. (Excalibur #57)
(And so forth.) (Excalibur #57)
I don’t know why this is a thing. It doesn’t actually impact the story in any significant way. (Excalibur #57)
GAMBIT, NO. (Excalibur #57)
These jerks, again. (Excalibur #58)
This is a ruse, except for the part about Cyclops’s secret boot radio, because Cyclops is a nerd. (Excalibur #58)
I really, really want to know more about Margaret. (Excalibur #58)
TEAM-UP! (Excalibur #58)
Amazing what they cover in undergrad chemistry programs these days. (Excalibur #58)
JUST USE THE PHONE YOU RIDICULOUS PEOPLE (Excalibur #58)
And they all lived happily ever after! (Excalibur #58)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor vs. therapy, with guest X-Pert Dr. Andrea Letamendi!

LINKS & FURTHER MISADVENTURES

215 – Mon de Orb Uno

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we finally emerge from the other side of X-Cutioner’s Song; rich people are different from us; Brian Braddock is probably not comfortable with menstruation; Dai Thomas cleans up pretty well; someone FINALLY remembers Sat-Yr-9; Psylocke knows how to defend herself from a man armed with a banana; the (non-Internet) trolls return; and we are fairly sure that Gambit does not actually speak French.

X-PLAINED:

  • Winzeldorf
  • Excalibur (so far)
  • Excalibur #55-58
  • Lip massage
  • The death of Alysande Stuart
  • A banana fight
  • Alchemy (again)
  • Many trolls
  • A fairly joyous reunion
  • The Brussels Sewer Museum
  • A fake heel turn
  • Our hopes and worries for the New Mutants movie
  • Comics covers

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor vs. Therapy, with Guest X-Pert Dr. Andrea Letamendi!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 214 – Stryfe’s Burn Book

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Look at this gorgeous monstrosity. (Stryfe’s Strike File)
This dude would not appear in the main Marvel Universe until about a decade after he was introduced here. (Stryfe’s Strike File)
FORESHADOWING! (Stryfe’s Strike File)
Mystique’s worst kid, by a fairly wide margin. (Stryfe’s Strike File)
Remember her; she’ll be a big deal later. (Stryfe’s Strike File)
Stryfe: The Worst Kid in Your Fandom. (Stryfe’s Strike File)
SPOILER: This cover is profoundly misleading. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
WARREN KENNETH WORTHINGTON III, YOU DID WHAT?! (Uncanny X-Men #297)
A rare moment of candor from Professor X. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
The only part of this issue that I REALLY have trouble believing is that Jubilee was carying around a second pair of ‘blades just for funsies. Those things are cumbersome as heck. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
DAMNIT, JUBILEE. THIS IS WHY NOBODY TRUSTS YOU. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
Aw. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
And Aw, again. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
Yet a third Aw. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
She’s beauty, she’s grace, she’ll explode your face. (X-Force #19)
Bobby has had a pretty rough year. (X-Force #19)
Slow clap. (X-Force #19)
Vanessa is not having a great time post-X-Force. (X-Force #19)
PHOENIX II DECOLLETAGE! (X-Force #19)
Those are actually… really snazzy team uniforms. Dang. (X-Force #19)
And that was the end of THAT particular metaphor. (X-Force #19)
NEXT EPISODE: Rich people are different from us.

LINKS & FURTHER CONVERSATIONS:

214 – Stryfe’s Burn Book

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which “wolves” proves a remarkably broad category in the 616; we at least nominally wrap up X-Cutioner’s Song; Stryfe could really use a style guide; we issue our first-ever music challenge; Jubilee is an agent of chaos; Gambit’s powers are a metaphor; Charles Xavier has a complicated relationship to disability; the quality of Jay’s penmanship is a matter of official record; Boom Boom is a remarkably good costume designer; Cannonball comes into his own as a leader; and every “WHAT?!” you hear on this show is fresh and original.

X-PLAINED:

  • Wolves, to a very limited extent
  • Jay & Miles (kinda) at NYCC
  • Transcripts
  • X-Cutioner’s Song
  • Stryfe’s Strike File
  • Uncanny X-Men #297
  • X-Force #19
  • A gentle bird caught in a swirling tornado of lust and desperation
  • Shades of me
  • Shades of you
  • Shades of them
  • Our first-ever music challenge
  • Some foreshadowing
  • Nostalgia
  • A very nice hug
  • The one good side effect of Stryfe’s technoorganic virus
  • Charles Xavier vs. disability politics
  • Several practical jokes in very poor taste
  • Teacher-student bonding
  • An excellent epithet
  • Some lettering choices
  • An extended Hail Caesar riff
  • The Clooney Scale
  • An enduring mystery
  • Clone powers
  • Exclamatory logistics

NEXT EPISODE: Hey, remember Excalibur?

MUSIC CHALLENGE: Write and record a song based on or using text from Stryfe’s Strike File (or any of his rants from X-Cutioner’s Song)! Send your masterpieces (or links to ’em) to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com, with the subject STRYFE SONG!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 213 – Live from FlameCon

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Live at FlameCon! Left to Right: Leah, Sina, Mags, Jay, Miles

 

Look who finally got a proper con banner!

 

OH MY GOSH LOOK AT ALL THESE SKETCHES! (We also forgot to photograph a ton of the ones we did, including one of Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau in a Speedo. We are very sorry.)

Rogue, by Miles
Warlock, by Jay
Phoenix, by Miles
Business-Casual Cyclops, by Jay
Archangel, by Miles
Dazzler, by Jay
Phoenix II / Marvel Girl / Prestige, by Miles
MAGNETO! sharpie tats, by Jay
Iceman, by Miles
Quentin Quire, by Jay
Anole, by Miles
Jubilee, by Miles
Warlock, by Jay
Dark Phoenix, by Miles
Phoenix Quentin Quire, by Miles
Rictor, by Jay
Rogue, by Miles
Cyclops, by Jay
Wolverine, by Miles
A good drawing, which is how you can tell it’s not by us: Cyclops Has a Good Day, for Jay’s sketchbook, by Amy Reeder!
NEXT EPISODE: Stryfe’s Burn Book!

LINKS & FURTHER TANGENTS

213 – Live from FlameCon, feat. Sina Grace, Magdalene Visaggio, and Leah Williams

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Leah dives headfirst into the world of con panels; Magdalene will burn down your idols; Sina is a fashion icon; none of the X-Men are straight (but they do share a sweater); you can’t spell “gay sex” without X; and we are all very, VERY in love with FlameCon.

Special thanks to Sina, Mags, Leah, Matt, Maya, Tea, Anna, the Discord crowd, and all our amazing listeners and patrons!

NEXT EPISODE: Stryfe’s Burn Book!

Check out some of our FlameCon photos and sketches on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)