Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Author: Jay

As Mentioned in Episode 231 – Life Bites

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I feel like this cover is generally a good metaphor for the 1993 Marvel annuals. (X-Factor Annual #8)
Just once, I want this setup to turn out to be a red herring. (X-Factor Annual #8)
Random is either time displaced or the world’s most precocious gamete. (X-Factor Annual #8)
And that’s why you always leave a note! (X-Factor Annual #8)
Remember that time Strong Guy called out casual ableism and it was AWESOME? (X-Factor Annual #8)
Well, that was an unexpected turn. (X-Factor Annual #8)
The real question is how many of them summon him in order to make fun of his name. (X-Factor Annual #8)
For some value of “deadly,” at least. (X-Factor Annual #8)
Aw, Guido. (X-Factor Annual #8)
Good dog. (X-Factor Annual #8)
Teleports more than walks, really. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
“Honestly, he really has no idea what the hell he’s doing.” (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
They even have their own entrance music. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
Okay. This looks bad. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
Grey-Summers problems. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
This seems pretty fundamentally unfair. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
You’re not wrong. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
OH, SNAP. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
He’ll be okay. Kind of. Eventually. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
“By the way, has anyone ever told you that you have a crayon name? Because you totally have a crayon name. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #17)
Yep. (Excalibur Annual #1)
Kitty X-Plains your dreams. (Excalibur Annual #1)
When will Excalibur learn that nothing good ever comes from hanging out with wizards. (Excalibur Annual #1)
Nothing good… except for THIS DUDE! (Excalibur Annual #1)
This is Captain Britain’s M.O. in a nutshell. (Excalibur Annual #1)
“Guys, we’re playing Spelljammer now.” (Excalibur Annual #1)
Meanwhile, with Technet. (Excalibur Annual #1)
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur goes to space!

LINKS & OTHER AMENITIES:

You can make your own Sienna Blaze lipstick!

While it’s setting, why not read more about the 1993 Marvel annuals and Evan Skolnick’s D&D campaign!

Or you could watch The Gamers and develop a deeper understanding of Jay’s joke about Captain Britain at the gaming table.

And there’s always Episode 21 – Kurt Busiek at the Coffee-a-Go-Go, where we delve deep into the wonders of Metoxo the Lava Man!

231 – Life Bites

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which DC is out of our bailiwick; Random gets around; someone finally makes an explicit reference to disability politics; death has not improved the Chalkers; Strong Guy can’t catch a break; we’re all whole other people; Sienna Blaze has a crayon name; we totally want to play D&D with Evan Skolnick; a trading card does not a memorable character make; and we are 100% here for the mutant episode of Sesame Street.

  • X-PLAINED:
  • What happened to Fred Duncan
  • Beastwriting
  • Marvel’s 1993 Annuals
  • The speculator boom
  • X-Factor Annual #8
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #17
  • Excalibur Annual #1
  • Charlie Ronalds (Charon) and his issues
  • A protracted Batman reference
  • How to string pearls
  • A dubious twist on the danger room
  • The pure joy of a child, but twisted and distorted like a shredded butterfly
  • Cloot (Satannish)
  • Howling Mad, by Peter David
  • The greatest enemies of X-Factor (but not really)
  • Cruel and arbitrary moralizing
  • The other X-Cutioner (Carl Denti)
  • A protracted illusion
  • The Amazing Icemaster
  • Metacommentary
  • An accidental trap
  • The death of Jason Wyngarde (Mastermind)
  • Resolution versus forgiveness
  • The other first appearance of Sienna Blaze
  • More wizard stuff
  • Khaos
  • Khaos & Gritty 4 Lyfe
  • Ghath
  • Irth
  • Mutants on Sesame Street
  • Cycling in and out of comics

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur goes to space!

CORRECTION: Chris Claremont did not in fact write Dragonlance comics.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 230 – Touchstones

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Or, alternately, read something that won’t make you cry? You do you. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
Nobody stands casually like that. NOBODY. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
Another scene from the alternate universe where A Fish Called Wanda was a heartwarming tearjerker about friendship and loss. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
I just. The art. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
Jean X-Plains Kitty and Illyana. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
“It won’t save her, but she’ll at least get to play some Rad Racer.” (Uncanny X-Men #303)
Aw, man. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
AW, MAN. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
Andy Kubert is really exceptionally good at drawing kisses and almost-kisses. (X-Men #24)
(It’s okay. They’ll work it out.) (X-Men #24)
I really appreciate Beast’s casual use of the word “panache” here. (X-Men #24)
Aw, these kids. (X-Men #24)
…which is the cat, and which the mouse, and which the mousecat, and which the catmouse, and… (X-Men #24)
If you need me, I’ll be over here, crying. (X-Men #24)
These two have been written pretty unevenly over the years, so it’s easy to forget how good a couple they can be. (X-Men #24)
CEILING MAGNETO IS WATCHING YOU… well, you get the idea. (X-Men #24)
What If: Magik is very much the story Illyana should have had.
This comic! (What If: Magik)
Dr. Strange, Master of the Mystic Arts, Kind of Bad at the Whole Person Thing. (What If: Magik)
I really wish I could just drop this whole comic into the visual companion, because it’s ALL this gorgeous. (What If: Magik)
My heart. (What If: Magik)
Aw, these two awkward sorcerer friends. (What If: Magik)
That’s. My. Girl. (What If: Magik)
NEXT EPISODE: The other X-Cutioner!

LINKS & OTHER TRAGEDIES:

230 – Touchstones

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which tragedy strikes; leisure suits are underappreciated; Jubilee is fundamentally opposed to feelings; that MCU joke would definitely have been hilarious; we have trouble accepting Beast as a 20-something; when Gambit and Rogue work, they work; Wolverine makes an unlikely agony aunt; Dr. Strange was the mentor Illyana Rasputin really needed; and What If: Magik is pretty much a perfect comic.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Human High Council
  • Many terrible things that have happened to the Rasputin family
  • Uncanny X-Men #303
  • X-Men #24
  • What If: Magik
  • A tonal disconnect
  • Leisure Suit Larry
  • A prospective movie marathon
  • Insecurity
  • Molecular Cohesion Unit
  • The death of Illyana Rasputin (and its aftermath)
  • Death in America
  • A dubious idea for a theme park
  • A reunion
  • Papa Gumbo’s Cajun Cookout
  • Illyana Rasputin and Dr. Strange
  • Navigating vs. erasing trauma
  • Why What If: Magik is absolutely amazing
  • How to cite X-Men volumes
  • Earth-242 (Earth on Fire)

NEXT EPISODE: The other X-Cutioner!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 229 – Giant-Size Special #7

2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Surprisingly, not the worst trip either of them has been on. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)
Welcome to the future. Hope you survive the… y’know. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)
I kind of feel like most parents would be a little irritated if their kids did this. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)
Despite the cybernetics, this is definitely the closest li’l Nathan Christopher has ever looked to an actual human baby. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)
That is the face of a man who knows he will never, ever get to take a real vacation. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)
We see what you did, there. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
Parents, amirite? (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
It takes a certain degree of dedication to throw an orgy this boring. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
That’s our Stryfe! (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
Apocalypse’s future look. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
Gene Ha is so good at weird cyborgs! (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
“Also, where do babies come from?” (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #3)
I love the conceit that everyone in the future gives them shit for PDA. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #3)
OH, HEY, IT’S THE LEGACY VIRUS. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #3)
Quite literally face to face. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #3)
Nobody likes Stryfe. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #3)
And you thought puberty hit you hard. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
Aw, Rachel. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
“Also, I was thinking we could do brunch sometime. No? Too soon?” (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
This dysfunctional fictional family is so damn important to me. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
Clone Problems(TM). (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
I mean, the first time aside from THE ENTIRETY OF THE LAST TWELVE YEARS. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
I’m not crying. You’re crying. We’re both crying. Everyone is crying. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
This comic, man. Right in the feels. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
We don’t usually post pages that we also read, but we couldn’t in good conscience leave this one out. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
“Time to get a lot of guns and some snappy one-liners.” (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
NEXT EPISODE: Bring kleenex.

LINKS & FURTHER FESTIVITY:

Click through for Corbeau Awards and song lyrics!

Continue reading

229 – Giant-Size Special #7

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we are beset by festivity; Scott Summers still can’t take a vacation; the Daysprings are a really good family; “G’journey” is a really good greeting; Stryfe is his own namesake; retcons have served Cable well; illustrator David Wynne makes his X-Plain podcast debut; and you should probably go ahead and get a shelf for all these awards.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Hayes family
  • The Grey-Summers Family circa 1993
  • The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1-4
  • Summers/Sommers disambiguation
  • Gene Ha
  • Time travel
  • Earth-4935
  • Mother Askani
  • Prelate Ch’vayre
  • What “Askani” means
  • When and whether Cable sleeps
  • The passage of time
  • Slym and Redd Dayspring
  • A biblical allusion
  • A very good greeting
  • Prior Turrin
  • “Old” English
  • Li’l Stryfe
  • Some constraints of superhero comics
  • Parenting
  • Rachel Summers’s self-image
  • The origin of Cable’s codename
  • David Wynne and his art
  • “Strontium Dogs”
  • The X-Fandom starter pack
  • The Fifth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
  • D&D with the Blue Team
  • All-New staying power
  • Fictional intersectionality
  • Change, in general

NEXT EPISODE: Bring kleenex.

CORRECTION: In this episode, Miles states that Scott and Jean are cool. They are, in fact, categorically uncool. We regret the error.

Special thanks to carolers Tina Carleton, Matt Gardner, Peter Gresser, Erin Pence, and Steve Pence!

Check out the visual companion to this episode–along with all the song lyrics and the complete Corbeau awards–on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 227 – Wolverine, Killing

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
It looks like it would be good, right? It SHOULD be good! (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
And still! (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
The Whale and/or Shark! (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
“I see,” readers concluded, “The villain is clearly a very tall lady with no arms.” (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
S.H.I.E.L.D., no. (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
What if I just include the cool parts in the visual companion? (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
Meet Mr. Big. (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
Wolverine: the man so manly his stubble will fight you. (Actually, it’s adamantium.) (Not the stubble; that’s just stubble.) (You get the idea, though.) (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
Again: The art is good; it just very much seems like it belongs in a different book. (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
And now for something completely different! (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
It’s worth noting that the “Hell’s heart… hate’s sake…” quote is often misattributed to the film version; but it is, in fact, from the original novel. (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
The big, dramatic twist, I guess. (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
…Okay. (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
OKAY. (Wolverine: Inner Fury)
The title and cover of Wolverine: Killing conspire to make it look much less interesting than it actually is.
We are always here for Cowboy Poet Wolverine. (Wolverine: Killing)
Wow. (Wolverine: Killing)
A brief, bright incursion from a different story. (Wolverine: Killing)
The pulse that keeps time in this story. (Wolverine: Killing)
This is how to do weird right. (Wolverine: Killing)
Please note: not sexy. (Wolverine: Killing)
King Hiss? (Wolverine: Killing)
I love the idea that she’ll emerge into the larger world talking like a hard boiled P.I. (Wolverine: Killing)
He may not know which parts of him came from where, but he knows who he is. (Wolverine: Killing)
The costume goes on! (Wolverine: Killing)
OH SNAP (Wolverine: Killing)
NEXT EPISODE: Subtlety and stealth.

LINKS & FURTHER TANGENTS:

227 – Wolverine, Killing

14 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Cowboy Poet Wolverine is the best Wolverine; the Masters of the Universe basically had Internet Cat names; Miles has an Early Metallica moment; Wolverine: Killing is just ludicrously excellent; and the hawk joke somehow keeps going.

X-PLAINED:

  • An eccentric approach to ecoterrorism
  • Wolverine: Inner Fury
  • Wolverine: Killing
  • The narrative limits of Bill Sienkiewicz
  • Various Terrors
  • The Whale and/or Shark
  • Microminibots
  • A trap
  • Mr. Big
  • A sexy coffee cup
  • Literary allusions
  • Atmospheric narration
  • Urban despair
  • A peculiar community
  • Cowboy Poet Wolverine
  • A thematic meditation
  • Depressingly exceptional representation of a lady in peril
  • King Hiss
  • The world according to Logan
  • The theoretical microbrewery scene of an imaginary enclave
  • Regional differences in IPAs
  • Feelings and their various sources
  • The symbolism of Wolverine’s costume
  • Home
  • How Archangel sleeps
  • Adamantium vs. Vibranium

NEXT EPISODE: This ‘n’ that ‘n’ Rusty ‘n’ Skids!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 226 – Les Mutants

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Listen to the podcast here!

  • Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
  • Meet Random. (X-Factor #88)
  • Quesada ribbons: totally a thing! (X-Factor #88)
  • Look, if it works, it works. (X-Factor #88)
  • Well, THAT can’t be good. (X-Factor #88)
  • Who Wore It Better, Garden of Earthly Delights Edition! Genosha, or… (X-Factor #89)
  • …Hieronymus Bosch? (Bosh. Definitely Bosch.)
  • Oh, kiddo. (X-Factor #89)
  • Romance! (X-Factor #88)
  • AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (X-Factor #89)
  • Big mood. (X-Factor #90)
  • Remember when Alex Summers was actually pretty awesome? (X-Factor #90)
  • GENOSHA WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU (so much) (X-Factor #90)
  • Harsh but valid. (X-Factor #90)
  • Meet Mutate #24601, whose mutant power is probably painfully complex internal rhymes. (X-Factor #90)
  • Aw, these goofballs. (X-Factor #90)
  • Genosha’s sanitation system is ridiculous. (X-Factor #91)
  • A+ lurking, Rahne! (X-Factor #91)
  • This definitely won’t come back to haunt Jamie. (It definitely will.) (X-Factor #91)
  • NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine vs. Everything!

At the End of the Fight

Lyrics by Jay Edidin, with apologies to Herbert Kretzmer

Performed by *Luz Bianca, Greg Black, Jeremy Borders, Lucas Brown, Kitty Byrne, *Tina Carelton, *Finn Carter, Everett Christensen, Veryan Croggan, Chris Eddleman, *Christina Eddleman, edibleflowers, Sol Foster, Emily Freville, Matt Gardner, Eric Michael Gray, Pete Gresser, Becky Hawkins, Andrew Hill, Jeff Holland, Al Kennedy, Steve Lacey, Kevin Lanigan, Elana Levin, *Alex Lundquist, Dan McMahon, William Mason, Steve Neal, notwhelmedyet (Lynn), Duck Orsino, Shannon Pack, Erin Pence, *Steve Pence, Philthy, Mariana Poole, rainproof, Samantha Riedel, Scott Sharplin, Adam Slevison, Richaundra Thursday, Dave Tomaine, Devin Toohey, and Grace Young.
*Soloists

[X-FACTOR]
At the end of the fight you’re another page older
And that’s all you can say for the X-Factor life
It’s a struggle, it’s a war
And just when you think that you’re winning
You find yourself stuck on the moon, facing down Stryfe
And the fight’s just beginning

At the end of the fight you’re another fight older
And the X on your jacket won’t keep out the chill
And the readers all hurry past
To the six other X-books they’re buying
As the Legacy Virus spreads fast, ready to kill
One fight nearer to dying

[COMPANY]
A tthe end of the fight there’s another fight coming
A crossover next week, an annual soon
Like a storm that’ll break any second
Foreshadowing Fatal Attractions
There’s a reckoning still to be reckoned
Plus the critics’ hot takes and reactions
And the future is not looking bright
At the end of the fight

[VAL COOPER]
At the end of the fight there will be a debriefing
You don’t get to slack in a government job

[STRONG GUY]
We’ve got better things to do
And this system doesn’t seem fair
After all, we threw all the punches

[POLARIS]
Plus, we don’t care

[STRONG GUY+ WOLFSBANE]
And we need a vacation.

[MULTIPLEMAN]
Have you seen how Val Cooper is fuming today

[QUICKSILVER]
She might be possessed, she seems so out of sorts

[VAL]
Step it up Summers, there’s paperwork waiting–
They’re not dissertations, just mission reports

[COMPANY]
At the end of the fight it’s another fight over
To whatever extent superhero fights end
Fight Magneto, fight the Blob
Fight some guy we just met in a sewer
What the hell, at least it’s a job
Just find us the next evildoer
‘Cause there’s no resolution in sight
At the end of the fight

LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE: