Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Author: Jay

As Mentioned in Episode 326 – Son of a Gun

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Fun times with holograms! (X-Factor #119)
Oh, THAT guy. (X-Factor #119)
If I had a dollar for every date that ended this way… (X-Factor #119)
Sir, your gun appears to be several cardboard boxes. (X-Factor #120)
Well, that’s going to be a problem. (X-Factor #120)
Okay, but seriously, why is Roma in this, again>? (X-Factor #121)
OH SNAP (X-Factor #121)

326 – Son of a Gun

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which it’s hard to be a hologram; the Internet is terrible and you should probably avoid it; we have no idea how Naze is still alive; this is not your mom’s Adversary (if your mom is Fall of the Mutants); Forge is an order muppet; and Sabretooth is not a great addition to most teams.

X-PLAINED:

  • Skrulls in American history
  • X-Factor’s attrition rate
  • The spirit spell (again)
  • The Adversary (again)
  • X-Factor #119-121
  • Hypercolor(TM) t-shirts
  • Oblivion vs. masturbation
  • Mark Trail (more) (again)
  • Forge’s complicated relationship with magic
  • The death of X-Factor
  • Several retcons
  • The resurrection of X-Factor
  • (Mis)representation of indigenous cultures in X-books
  • Jim Jaspers vs. the Adversary
  • The spirit spell (YET AGAIN)
  • The Feron of X-Factor
  • Val ‘n’ Victor
  • Dubious use of technology
  • A red herring
  • The lingering spectre of Days of Future Past
  • Our tech issues
  • Reasonable accommodations at the Xavier School

NEXT EPISODE: Cable vs. X-Force

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As Mentioned in Episode 325 – Captain Bloodscream

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I’m sorry; I cannot accept this as Cable. (X-Force/Cable Annual 1995)
The Impossible Teens. (X-Force/Cable Annual 1995)
Yay, Team-Ups! (Spider-Man Team-Up #1)
Tessa, Shade Queen of the Hellfire Club. Spider-Man Team-Up #1
SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS THE GOLD CROTCH THING (Spider-Man Team-Up #1)
Also Tessa. (Spider-Man Team-Up #1)
NO, SERIOUSLY: 30-50 FERAL HOGS. (X-Men Unlimited #9)
FUCKING GHOST PIRATES Y’ALL (X-Men Unlimited #9)
YES AS A MATTER OF FACT I WILL BE CAPTIONING ALL THE IMAGES FROM THIS ISSUE IN ALL CAPS (X-Men Unlimited #9)
LOOK AT THIS MAN. THIS IS A MAN LIVING HIS DREAM. (X-Men Unlimited #9)
SURE WHY NOT (X-Men Unlimited #9)
SHARK FIGHT SHARK FIGHT (X-Men Unlimited #9)
THIS VISUAL IS LIKE ALL THE GOOFINESS OF THE EPISODE IN A NUTSHELL (X-Men Unlimited #9)
KING OF THE CAT PEOPLE (X-Men Unlimited #9)
FOOTNOTES FOR THE FOOTNOTE GODS (X-Men Unlimited #9)
FISH! FISH OF DECEIT! (X-Men Unlimited #9)
OH HEY WE KNOW THAT GUY (X-Men Unlimited #9)
THE NEXT TWO IMAGES WILL JUST BE KICKASS BLOODSCREAM YOU’RE WELCOME (X-Men Unlimited #9)
I WISH HIM THE BEST (X-Men Unlimited #9)
NEXT EPISODE: The Adversary probably does not actually join X-Factor.

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325 – Captain Bloodscream

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original?Drop him a line!

In which we recommend against having a birthday in the Marvel  Universe; Shinobi Shaw was a proto-Quentin Quire; Lee Forrester returns under the best possible circumstances; Bloodscream lives his best unlife; Belasco is apparently master of the cat people now; and a former Marvel intern returns to solve a mystery.

X-PLAINED:

  • Bloodscream (again)
  • X-Force/Cable Annual 1995
  • Spider-Man Team-Up #1
  • X-Men Unlimited #9
  • The Impossible Man (and his slacker kids)
  • The Clone Saga
  • Benedict Kine
  • A really superlative insult
  • The continuity box
  • Still more Bloodscream
  • 30-50 feral hogs
  • GHOST PIRACY
  • Belasco (more)(again)
  • The N’garai (more) (again)
  • A follow-up to a mystery from Episode #323

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor vs. the Adversary

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 324 – Snack Attack

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
So, yeah, there’s a lot going on. (Generation X Annual 1995)
Not who they appear to be, which honestly doesn’t even really matter in context. (Generation X Annual 1995)
His sovereignty over the Hellfire Club is dubious, but he’s definitely the king of shade. (Generation X Annual 1995)
Ouch. (Generation X Annual 1995)
Wait, what? (Generation X Annual 1995)
I still can’t tell if this is him not knowing she kidnapped him or telling her that it’s fine that she did… (Generation X Annual 1995)
Well, that’s some Silent Hill-inflected creepiness. (Generation X Annual 1995)
This party is an odd mix of formality levels. (Generation X #10)
Look, it happens to all of us eventually. (Generation X #10)
We would read the HELL out of a series about Banshee’s Interpol adventures. (Generation X #10)
OH HEY WE KNOW THAT DUDE (Generation X #10)
They are a genuinely fun pair. (Generation X #10)
NEXT EPISODE: MOTHERFUCKIN’ GHOST PIRATES!

324 – Snack Attack

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Cordelia Frost is a terrible friend; Mondo is better than the story arcs that surround him; and we’d really love to see a series about Sean Cassidy’s super groovy past.

X-PLAINED:

  • The one who got away
  • Generation X Annual 1995
  • Generation X #10-11
  • A failed seduction attempt
  • Mondo and a plant-based facsimile thereof
  • An emergency
  • The very personal and private journal of Monet St. Croix
  • A party
  • Omega Red (again)
  • Sean Cassidy’s Interpol days
  • An unlikely informant
  • A somewhat surreal monitoring system
  • The Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men Wiki

NEXT EPISODE: GHOST PIRATES!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 323 – Baby Talk

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Seriously–they look like little adults! (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)
This gag was probably inevitable, honestly. (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)
Enter the X-Babies! (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)
I feel like public opinion of Sentinels would go way up if they looked like dinosaurs. (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)
Arcade X-Plains the premise. (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)
THIS IS REALLY DARK FOR WHAT IT IS. (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)
Is this actually Sinister? We never really find out, but it’s gotta be, right? (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)
Hooray! (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)
…that’s a lotta X-Babies. (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)
Absolutely iconic cover. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)
Damn good interior art, too. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)
Kirby’s art has leveled up exponentially between Murderama and Reborn; I particularly dig his Spiral. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)
Expanded geography of the Mojoverse. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)
Man, I wanna live in a closed-down theater! (X-Babies: Reborn #1)
The textbook sisters. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)
‘Vengers Assembly! (X-Babies: Reborn #1)
That it’s an obvious joke doesn’t stop it from being funny. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)
All-New Psychilde! (X-Babies: Reborn #1)
Seriously, who WOULDN’T read about the adventures of Baby Doom? (X-Babies: Reborn #1)
That Skottie Young cover! (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1)
Mr. Veech and Nandy. (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1)
Good times. (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1)
Our first glimpse of the Star Comics characters. (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1)
Planet Terry (Bowdlerized version). (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1)
Wally and the Wizard (Bowdlerized version). (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #2)
Royal Roy (Bowdlerized version). (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #2)
Top Dog (Bowdlerized but still helpful version). (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #3)
The actual, exiled Royal Roy, Planet Terry, and Top Dog. (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #3)
oh shit (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #3)
And they all pretty much lived happily ever after, probably, I guess. (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #4)
NEXT EPISODE: Aging up to X-teens!

LINKS & FURTHER JUVENALIA

323 – Baby Talk

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we spend a large amount of time on a group of small characters; X-Babies stories cover a wide range of quality; Mojo is relegated to public access; the ‘Vengers rebel against their creator; the X-Babies excavate Star Comics; we adjust our opinion of the mid-‘90s; and WandaVision is probably not connected to the Mojoverse.

X-PLAINED:

  • Fun with blood
  • The X-Babies
  • Mojo
  • Pint-Sized X-Babies #1
  • X-Babies Reborn #1
  • X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1-4
  • The Brotherhood of Mutant Bullies
  • X-Baby nomenclature
  • The Pix
  • Hell’s Kitchen
  • The Wildways (more) (again)
  • Monkey Wagon
  • Bubblefield
  • Marshmallow Marsh
  • Gamesboro
  • The Textbook Sisters
  • The ‘Vengers
  • A transformation
  • Mr. Veech
  • Nandy
  • Star Comics and several characters therefrom
  • The Adorable X-Babies
  • Our opinions on the mid-‘90s
  • Welcome to Westview

NEXT EPISODE: X-Teens!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 322 – Do More Crimes

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Never let Gambit take you anywhere. (X-Men #46)
Jean, seriously, do you have any idea how old your niece and nephew are? (X-Men #46)
Bobby, no. (X-Men #46)
We have X-Babies. This is not a drill. (X-Men #46)
Charming, ain’t they? (X-Men #46)
Wait… who?! (X-Men #46)
HI, DAZZLER! (X-Men #47)
This whole issue feels kind of like a Western, helped along by this incredibly classic framing. (Uncanny X-Men #327)
“Okay, but also, your face is melting.” (Uncanny X-Men #327)
OH SNAP denied (Uncanny X-Men #327)
This is legitimately adorable. (Uncanny X-Men #327)
“Y’know… stuff.” (Uncanny X-Men #327)
NEXT WEEK: Hawk talk!

NEXT EPISODE: SOMEHOW, EVEN MORE X-BABIES!

LINKS & FURTHER MISDIRECTION:

322 – Do More Crimes

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the X-Babies fail to charm; clones are people, too; Iceman doesn’t (quite) come out; Gambit and Bishop bond; Joseph comes into ambiguous being; and Principal Nezu and Charles Xavier would probably get along okay.

X-PLAINED:

  • Inconsistent quality
  • X-Men #46-47
  • Uncanny X-Men #327
  • The X-Babies (more) (again)
  • Sfogliatelle
  • Gog
  • Gog’n’Magog
  • Politics of the Mojoverse
  • Personhood of constructed entities
  • What makes an X-Babies story work
  • Jay’s favorite episodes of The Muppet Show
  • Age-appropriate literature
  • Fictional books
  • Fun with Bishop
  • Several restaurants
  • Hypothetical casting
  • What Magneto’s been up to
  • Joseph
  • Sister Maria
  • Why Magneto gets de-aged a lot
  • Amnesia
  • Various orphans and individuals affiliated therewith
  • How to keep up with upcoming X-titles
  • A cross-media friendship
  • True Believer: The Rise and Fall of Stan Lee

NEXT EPISODE: HAWK TALK

THE ONE AFTER THAT: MORE X-BABIES SO MANY X-BABIES

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!