Jay – Page 17 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 352 – Onslog

November 14, 2021 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Still not really seeing the “ebon” part of “ebon citadel,” but whatever. (The Incredible Hulk #445)

I always appreciate details like this. (The Incredible Hulk #445)

Ouch. (The Incredible Hulk #445)

It’s like that thing where you don’t hear your cat coming in and then it’s RIGHT THERE STARING AT YOU. (Invincible Iron Man #332)

Those are… certainly some sound effects. (Invincible Iron Man #332)

It’s not a whole fancy suit, but I guess it’ll do. (Invincible Iron Man #332)

Hats all around! (Invincible Iron Man #332)

Look at them, all action-y. (Avengers #402)

Sucks to be the dude who has to both accurately assess the situation AND keep everyone’s spirits up! (Avengers #402)

SO THERE. (Avengers #402)

SO MUCH HEROISM IN ONE PAGE (Avengers #402)

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: Additional Onslaught!

LINKS & FURTHER CHOREOGRAPHY

The gold standard for sneaking songs.

352 – Onslog

November 7, 2021 Jay 18 comments

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In which Onslaught: Phase 2 does not live up to the promise of Phase 1; Hulk is not the most trustworthy individual; Miles is his own best audience; Sentinels know their continuity; and true heroism is scored by James Horner.

X-PLAINED:

The Phoenix Five
Onslaught thus far
The Incredible Hulk #445
Invincible Iron Man #332
Avengers #402
Pea Soup Hulk
Falcon’s late cousin Jim
The word “ebon”
Tunneling logistics
An uncomfortable lesson
Immortal Hulk and why you should be reading it
Fancy hats
Science Made Stupid
Teen Tony Stark (more) (again)
Sneaking
Onslaught’s best epithet
The sound of heroism
Thor’s “shirt”
Headgear

NEXT EPISODE: Additional Onslaught!

Check out the visual companion to this episode over on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 351 – His Mighty Hand

October 31, 2021 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

At least his astral form also works out. (Uncanny X-Men #336)

The size difference is endlessly amusing. (Uncanny X-Men #336)

You done good, Gambit. (Uncanny X-Men #336)

For those of you who collect reaction images. (Uncanny X-Men #336)

Seriously–PERFECT CYLINDER. (Uncanny X-Men #336)

It always seems weird to me that when Cable’s arm is like that it doesn’t seem to cause any mobility or balance issues. (Cable #35)

They’ll team up, but, damnit, they won’t enjoy it. (Cable #35)

Meanwhile at your neighborhood roller rink… (Cable #35)

He’s like a tiny pet Franklin getting walked around Manhattan! (Cable #35)

SO THERE, ONSLAUGHT. (Cable #35)

That throne is so creepy and gross and awesome. (X-Man #19)

Remember the Age of Apocalypse? Nate does! (X-Man #19)

Aw, kiddo. (X-Factor #58)

They’re all very neatly arranged, at least. (X-Factor #58)

Tabitha really needs some healthier coping mechanisms. (X-Factor #58)

AW, KIDDO. (X-Factor #58)

Please google “highland cattle” immediately and join me in giggling. (X-Factor #58)

Smelling the vegetation… and possibly hiding a pot of gold. (X-Factor #58)

Domino’s fantasies do not allow for teenage intrusion, TYVM. (X-Factor #58)

NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught, still, obviously.

351 – His Mighty Hand

October 31, 2021 Jay 7 comments

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In which we enter Phase 2 of Onslaught; Cable is a man of many purposes; Onslaught gets a makeover; Intentions only matter if you’re Longshot; and Sue Richards will pull over this crossover event right now if you don’t behave.

X-PLAINED:

Red Onslaught
Onslaught Phase 1
Uncanny X-Men #336
Cable #35
X-Man #19
X-Force #58
A large number of team-ups
Onslaught, but make it a seder
Watcher undercarriage
Onslaught’s second form
Cable and Apocalypse vs. Onslaught
Nate Grey vs. Sinister
A trap
Several flashbacks and fantasies
Symbolic roles within X-Force
What Banshee’s sonic scream sounds like
Pecs as envisioned by Franklin Richards

NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught, of course.

Check out the visual companion to this post on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 350 – The Xavier Protocols

October 24, 2021 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Variant cover by Dylan Meconis!

Extra collectible sketch cover! You can download your own in PDF format here.

It’s always fun to see how teams look in other books. (Excalibur #100)

First version of the armor. Don’t get too attached. (Excalibur #100)

In all fairness, decapitation would kill most people. (Excalibur #100)

Does he seriously do this for EVERY mutant? Or just X-Men? Or–? (Excalibur #100)

Meanwhile in a circus in Franklin Richards’s head… (Fantastic Four #415)

I’ll admit: They look remarkably cool.

You don’t say, Reed. (Fantastic Four #415)

THE EYEBROWS OF TRUTH! (Fantastic Four #415)

What a good rug. (Fantastic Four #415)

This is among the weirder meta-product placement I’ve seen. (Fantastic Four #415)

There’s… a lot going on on that cover. (X-Factor #125)

Everything but the skateboard. (X-Factor #125)

Somewhere, one is experimentally gnawing on Hearst Tower. (X-Men #55)

How you can tell it’s a Really Big Event. (X-Men #55)

IT’S REALLY NOT THE TIME, BOBBY. (X-Men #55)

I don’t know why, but Onslaught’s pose in this panel cracks me the hell up. (X-Men #55)

That is… somewhat different from its previous appearance. (X-Men #55)

That certainly is an ebon citadel! (X-Men #55)

That’s quite a look, Onslaught of the Future! (X-Men #55)

NEXT EPISODE: Yep, more Onslaught.

LINKS & FURTHER CHOICES

Caps for Sale is a real and delightful book!
“Magneto’s Cape” is based on “Lily’s Eyes” from the excellent Secret Garden musical.

350 – The Xavier Protocols

October 24, 2021 Jay 36 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Variant cover by Dylan Meconis!

And a real, live, downloadable sketch variant!

In which we celebrate a milestone with a special collectible episode; there may already be a Charles Xavier in your basement; Onslaught lacks subtlety; Bill Watterson may or may not have changed his licensing policy on Earth-616; guns should not have hair; and Jay once again exercises his questionable lyrical skills.

X-PLAINED:

Excalibur #100
Fantastic Four #415
X-Factor #125
X-Men #55
Onslaught (more) (again)
The Xavier Protocols
The many secret subbasements of Charles Francis Xavier
The Xavier Protocols
An extremely poor file-retrieval system
Onslaught vs. the Fantastic Four
Li’l Charlie
A circus, kind of
Lang disambiguation
Onslaught’s new look
Onslaught vs. several Avengers
An unlicensed rug
The only thing Bill Watterson loves
Metaphorical Turkish delight
The Brand Corporation (more) (again)
Dark Descendents
Hairy guns
Caps for Sale
A really big fight
A very dramatic EMP
Why Onslaught looks like that

NEXT EPISODE: Yep, more Onslaught!

“Magneto’s Cape” lyrics by Jay Edidin, with apologies to Marsha Norman. Performed by Steve Pence and Adam Faruqi and produced by Adam Faruqi.

CORRECTION: There are only three variant covers to this episode, not four; Jen Vaughn had to bow out due to other commitments.

Check out the visual companion to this post on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

HAWK TALK – Sitcoms

October 17, 2021 Jay 11 comments

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This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and Tina Carleton of Welcome to Television talked about sitcoms!

As Mentioned in Episode 349 – Onslaught Secret Weapon Force Power Slammers

October 17, 2021 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Ahh, it’ll be fine. (Cable #34)

Sure, why not? (Cable #34)

I kind of wish he’d gotten to keep his massive fucked up arm. (Cable #34)

Start your red-string maps here. (Incredible Hulk #444)

GIANT SCREAMING ROCK! (Incredible Hulk #444)

SURE, WHY NOT? (Incredible Hulk #444)

Hulk just want to be left alone. (Incredible Hulk #444)

Sinister certainly knows how to make an entrance. (X-Man #18)

Aw, Caliban. (X-Force #57)

And there goes another Xavier school! (X-Force #57)

It’s no Bogdanove, but it’ll do. (X-Force #57)

I love that Onslaught’s happening and Sinister is just playing out this whole entire other story. (X-Force #57)

NEXT EPISODE: Hawk talk! NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught continues to continue.

LINKS & FURTHER COMPLICATIONS

On Coming Out, Queer Identity, and Continuity in All-New X-Men #40

349 – Onslaught Secret Weapon Force Power Slammers

October 10, 2021 Jay 25 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which Onslaught nomenclature has some consistency issues; electricity is the new magnetism; Nate Grey mopes; Sinister doesn’t care about your guns; the Xavier mansion blows up (again); and we track down an elusive Sentinel.

X-PLAINED

Doctor Doom’s absolutely irrelevant Onslaught encounter
Cable #34
Incredible Hulk #444
X-Man #18
X-Force #57
Onslaught Phases vs. Impacts
Ozymandias (more) (again)
Post (more) (again)
Cable’s ridiculous motorcycle
Several Hulks
Behemoth
Cable/Storm
The Betty Conspiracy
Rocks that yell
Alpacalypse
Multiversal disambiguation
Some unlikely sound effects
An anti-Sinister failsafe
A self-destruct system
Warpath and Risque
A hug
A very specific Sentinel
Coming out in adulthood

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Somehow We Have Made 350 of These (and also more Onslaught)

Check out the visual companion to this post on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!