Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Author: Jay

As Mentioned in Episode 530 – Not for Beginners

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Dig that Christopher Shy cover! (New X-Men #149)
Magneto was technically right, the best kind of right. (New X-Men #149)
Dick move. (New X-Men #149)
Hindsight. (New X-Men #149)
Hell, yeah! (New X-Men #149)
These issues are so full of great hero moments. (New X-Men #149)
I am pretty sure that they are not a thing. (New X-Men #149)
This seems… unlikely. (New X-Men #149)
Dang, Phoenix! (New X-Men #150)
HECK YEAH BEAK! (New X-Men #150)
Right into the gutter! (New X-Men #150)
You’d think that telepaths could use the same line of approach, but I guess not? (New X-Men #150)
Aw, they’re so heroic. (New X-Men #150)
Well, shit. (New X-Men #150)
The graffiti absolutely sends me. (New X-Men #150)
NEXT EPISODE: The future!

LINKS & FURTHER MUTATIONS

530 – Not for Beginners

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Illustration by David Wynne

In which we remain frustrated with Morrison’s Magneto; Esme Cuckoo’s hat game is lacking; and the status quo dies with Jean Grey.

X-PLAINED:

  • Dubious X-relationships
  • Some excellent songs from an excellent show
  • New X-Men #149-150
  • Various atrocities and catastrophes
  • The resistance, such as it is
  • Magneto’s limits
  • A rebirth
  • Neutron warheads
  • The cavalry
  • Yet another death of Magneto
  • Yet another death of Jean Grey
  • A peculiar epilogue
  • A legacy of retcons
  • A miasma of bleakness and futility
  • The Xorn retcon
  • Disability in “Planet X”
  • Miracles of Magnetism

NEXT EPISODE: The future!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 529 – Magneto Was Wrong

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We didn’t discuss it in the episode, but I really dig this cover. (New X-Men #146)
Charles Xavier is not a safe adult. (New X-Men #146)
Death by irony. (New X-Men #146)
And there it is. (New X-Men #146)
I know this is supposed to be dramatic and horrifying; but there’s something about Magneto’s stiff pose and facial expression that makes it very funny. (New X-Men #147)
Meet the new Brotherhood! (New X-Men #147)
There go the bridges. (New X-Men #147)
The bubbles were a choice. (New X-Men #147)
Bless Phil Jimenez for finding a whole spectrum of ways to obscure Charles Xavier’s genitalia. (New X-Men #148)
Jean’s eminently sensible bra. (New X-Men #148)
Okay, so, the side coverage (or lack of coverage) is a little weird; but I’ll still accept it. (New X-Men #148)
OH SNAP IT’S THE PHOENIX (New X-Men #148)
NEXT EPISODE: Magneto dies, again.

529 – Magneto Was Wrong

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Illustration by David Wynne

In which many plot threads come together; Charles Xavier is a catastrophically bad listener; you should probably not live in the Marvel Universe; bridges are really important; there’s nothing sexy about dying of heat exhaustion; and we judge Morrison’s Magneto and find him wanting.

X-PLAINED:

  • What Xorn did after dying
  • The story so far
  • New X-Men #146-148
  • Beast’s typing gloves
  • Several innovative ways to type loudly
  • Doomed plans
  • A manufactured confrontation
  • A trap
  • Magneto reimagined
  • Visual depictions of sweat
  • “New Genosha”
  • Death and rebirth
  • Whether Magneto has a place in New X-Men; and if so, what
  • A name for an era

NEXT EPISODE: Yet another death of Magneto

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 528 – Welcome to the Slippery Slope

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Me, too, Scott. Me, too. (New X-Men #142)
I’m not sure Sabretooth has ever looked cooler than this. (New X-Men #142)
Jake Danial’s. (New X-Men #142)
There are better places to drink than a nine-panel grid, but not many. (New X-Men #142)
Aw, these guys. (New X-Men #142)
Welcome to the World. (New X-Men #143)
I like these weird li’l dudes. Too bad they are extremely doomed. (New X-Men #143)
This looks cool and all, but what I really want to know is why SONY was allowed, but Jack Daniel’s wasn’t. (New X-Men #143)
Cool dudes lookin’ cool. (New X-Men #143)
Wolverine vs. a rail gun. (New X-Men #143)
All car cops are bastards. (New X-Men #144)
Walking all over a time-frozen splash page, as one does. (New X-Men #144)
Meet Weapon XV. (New X-Men #144)
While Wolverine and Fantomex declare war on Weapon Plus, this man is living his own private Silent Hill game. (New X-Men #144)
And there goes Weapon XV. (New X-Men #144)
Weapon Plus HQ is, in its own way, every bit as surreal as the World. (New X-Men #145)
Ugh, Fantomex is so cool. (New X-Men #145)
The plus logo is a really interesting detail. (New X-Men #145)
NEXT EPISODE: Magneto, unmasked!

528 – Welcome to the Slippery Slope

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Illustration by David Wynne

In which friends don’t let friends drink sparkling wine at the Hellfire Club; Cyclops is a Silent Hill protagonist; Fantomex is a cool dude; John Sublime has his grubby little fingers in everything; and three men do a lot of things to avoid going to therapy.

X-PLAINED:

  • What happened to the World
  • Weapon XVI
  • New X-Men #142-145
  • Fantomex (more) (again)
  • The Weapon Plus program
  • A large number of things men will do instead of going to therapy
  • How to murder a nice, romantic mood
  • The Hellfire Club, the rest of the time
  • Jake Danials Whisky
  • A drinking contest
  • The Mysteries of Harris Burdick
  • The World
  • Weapon XV
  • A series of B&Es
  • Advanced Idea Mechanics (A.I.M.)
  • Car cops
  • Weapon XV’s feelings
  • Weapon Plus’s secret space headquarters
  • Education at the Xavier School
  • Gender-swapped superheroes and heirs to superheroes

NEXT EPISODE: Magneto, unmasked!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 526 – Vengeful Mutants on Drugs

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I love these weird kids. (New X-Men #135)
It really is the same outfit with different flourishes. (New X-Men #135)
That One Shirt. (New X-Men #135)
That… is not how campfires work. (New X-Men #135)
It’s a look, alright. (New X-Men #135)
Go, Beak! (New X-Men #136)
WELL, THAT’S NOT MENACING OR ANYTHING (New X-Men #136)
“His Viennese Waltz, for instance, was terribly clumsy.” (New X-Men #137)
These kids in a nutshell. (New X-Men #137)
Why is that thing on your face, Logan? Who did this to you? (New X-Men #137)
See how much better he looks without it? (New X-Men #137)
Ouch. (New X-Men #137)
I wish these gentlemen only the best. (New X-Men #138)
SPOILER: Their kids are gonna be awesome. (New X-Men #138)
Awkward. (New X-Men #138)
NEXT EPISODE: Murder!

LINKS & FURTHER REVOLUTIONS

526 – Vengeful Mutants on Drugs

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Illustration by David Wynne

In which you should use drugs only with caution; a famous shirt makes its debut; Wolverine is the new Mary Worth; and you were never Quentin Quire’s age (unless you were).

X-PLAINED:

  • What Quentin Quire’s been up to since discorporating
  • New X-Men #135-138
  • The Special Class
  • Basilisk
  • Ernst
  • Dummy
  • No Girl
  • Whether the Xavier School should admit human students
  • Quentin’s new look
  • Kick (more) (again)
  • The Omega Gang
  • That one t-shirt
  • How to punch up your Power Point presentation
  • A somewhat fraught camping trip
  • The Special Class vs. U-Men
  • A secret
  • Some kind of weird affair
  • A riot, of sorts
  • Wolverine’s unfortunate soul patch
  • What actually happened to Jumbo Carnation
  • Telepathic deconstruction
  • The Cuckoos vs. Emma Frost
  • A somewhat mysterious secondary mutation
  • Denouement
  • The subsequent evolution of Quentin Quire
  • What’s happening to xplainthexmen.com when the show ends
  • The telepathy-telekinesis overlap

NEXT EPISODE: Murder!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 525 – Beyond This Death

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Warren, no. (New X-Men #131)
Aw, buddy. (New X-Men #131)
<3 <3 <3 (New X-Men #131)
And then everyone immediately forgot that. (New X-Men #131)
Seriously, dick move, Emma. (New X-Men #131)
I really love this panel. (New X-Men #131)
Meanwhile in Genosha. (New X-Men #132)
The magnetic ghosts. (New X-Men #132)
Ah, man. (New X-Men #132)
The last words of Magneto, for now. (New X-Men #132)
Oh, for fuck’s sake. (New X-Men #133)
Damnit, Xavier. (New X-Men #133)
I love the idea that the Shi’ar’s collective Earth disguise is a bunch of Amish dudes.
Dust’s first (conscious) appearance. (New X-Men #133)
Jumbo Carnation! (New X-Men #134)
Quentin Quire before shit goes down. (New X-Men #134)
Seriously, Hank, uncool. (New X-Men #134)
Slick is gddamn adorable. (New X-Men #134)
Someday I will knit this sweater vest. (New X-Men #134)
NEXT EPISODE: Someday I will also knit this sweater vest.

LINKS & FURTHER ILLUSIONS:

525 – Beyond This Death

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Illustration by David Wynne

In which Warren Kenneth Worthington III is a terrible teacher; we are all Magneto’s children; Sooraya Qadir deserves a better origin story; teenagers have a lot of feelings; and we meet one of the modern age’s most controversial mutants.

X-PLAINED:

  • The destiny of Quentin Quire
  • New X-Men #131-134
  • An underattended funeral
  • How to fly? Kinda? I guess?
  • A kiss
  • A friendship
  • Another bit of ruby quartz marginalia that will never be mentioned again
  • A somewhat ill-founded psychic metaphor
  • Emma Frost’s Dark Phoenix costume
  • Some kind of weird affair
  • Echoes of 9/11/2001
  • Genosha, a year later
  • Ghosts
  • Polaris’s paternity
  • Shocker (the mutant one)
  • The last words of Genosha
  • Islamophobia post 9/11
  • Sooraya Qadir (Dust)
  • An attempted hijacking and the aftermath thereof
  • Some Shi’ar nonsense
  • X-Corporation Mumbai
  • Jumbo Carnation
  • Telepathy class
  • An artist’s interpretation of the fate of mankind if mutants are not driven out, as predicted by Bolivar Trask
  • Accountability
  • Professor X’s weird little paintings
  • X-adjectives
  • Best and worst X-Men with whom to share a psychic rapport

NEXT EPISODE: Quentin Quire’s teen angst bullshit gets a body count!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!