Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

499 – Light Me, Boy!

In which we meet some delightful monsters; Cannonball is a man who knows how to wear overalls; Domino is the Leslie Knope of X-Force; red liquid babies deserve love, too; and not all British authors know each other.

X-PLAINED:

  • A murder
  • X-Force #110-113
  • Peak butts
  • Domestic bliss
  • Misplaced guilt
  • Several monsters
  • Comics Codium
  • Warborgs and/or Rawborgs
  • Poison problems
  • Additional monsters
  • SHIELD business
  • Large guns
  • Still more monsters
  • How monsters interact with the Bechdel Test
  • Cuckoo
  • Prescribed narcotics
  • Life Model Decoys (more) (again)
  • X-major arcana

NEXT EPISODE: Apparently we’ve made 500 of these?


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498 – Home Depot Ossuary

In which the Twisted Sisters are vanquished by water; there is no way to make Stryfe cool; and the X-Men fight a hurricane.

X-PLAINED:

  • Ego the Living Planet and his dysfunctional family
  • X-Men #105-106
  • Uncanny X-Men #386
  • The Neo (more) (again)
  • The state of Psylocke and Archangel’s relationship
  • The Twisted Sisters
    • Helix
    • Coil
    • Gyre
    • Ringlet
    • Torque
  • Pelicans
  • Bad decisions of past Jay and Miles
  • A mysterious stranger
  • Unrealized plans
  • Mystique and Wolverine’s forgotten friendship
  • Neo infrastructure
  • Big Casino’s name
  • An unlikely hybrid
  • A surprisingly large femur
  • The new Brotherhood
  • Lee Forrester (again)
  • Weather
  • Fan history

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force vs. Warborgs

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497 – Stranger Things

In which Prosh’s plans sort of come to fruition; we do not know very much about movies; Iceman dies (but is fine); The Stranger gets around; and Toad learns nothing.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Stranger
  • X-Men Forever #4-6
  • Prosh (more) (again)
  • The story so far
  • Astra (again)
  • The Black Womb Project
  • Toad’s secret origins, possibly
  • Fashion
  • Hazard
  • Amanda Mueller (a bit)
  • Anguirus
  • The end of human civilization
  • Foreshadowing
  • A dramatic reveal
  • Several makeovers
  • Darth Toad
  • Fighting arenas / community theaters

NEXT EPISODE: Mystique reassembles the Brotherhood!


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496 – Time After Time

In which Prosh assembles a peculiar team; the cosmic forces are somewhat paranoid; Mystique gets shit done; and we are very into the concept of Toadland.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Black Womb Project
  • X-Men Forever #1-3
  • Prosh
  • Several custom-grown people
  • A motley crew of mutants (and one human)
  • Cataclysm keys
  • The assassination of Graydon Creed
  • Several poignant reunions
  • The cosmic construction worker (Death)
  • Why the Phoenix Force chose Jean Grey
  • How much continuity is too much continuity
  • Pyro’s romance novels

NEXT EPISODE: The rest of the series!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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495 – The Goth

In which Rogue is beset with leadership; Psylocke’s telekinetic sword is narratively inconsistent; the Crimson Pirates are bad at their job; and you should not look to Frank Punisher as a role model.

X-PLAINED:

  • Whether Dani Moonstar is still a Valkyrie
  • X-Men #103-104
  • Uncanny X-Men #384-385
  • A crossover
  • Tessa (somewhat)
  • A test
  • The Goth (group)
  • Skulls
  • The Crimson Pirates
  • The mind of Tullamore Voge
  • Something “rough trade” does not mean
  • Visual representation of telepathy
  • Kymri (again)
  • The Goth (individual)
  • Skycycles
  • A ruse
  • How to get the X-Perts at a convention near you
  • What happened to the Massachusetts Academy

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men Forever


The visual companion to this episode will be up in the near future!

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494 – You’ve Got Evil Mail

In which the X-Men zealously protect their trademarks; Cable can have as many moms as he wants to; not everyone should have to be a superhero; Lady Deathstrike knows how to handle unauthorized emails; and somehow there are still more gun arms.

X-PLAINED:

  • Lady Deathstrike
  • X-Men Unlimited #27-28
  • X-Men Annual 2000
  • One reason to recycle code names
  • Thunderbird III (Neal Shaara)
  • Sanjit Shaara and his electronic diary
  • Karima Shapandar
  • Bastion and the Prime Sentinels (again) (briefly)
  • Omega Prime Sentinels
  • Rebirth Island and what lurks there
  • Darkstar (Laynia Petrovna)
  • Unusual disturbances
  • Whether Gambit sleeps
  • The Black Death
  • Internet security training with Bastion
  • The genealogy of Nora Ephron romantic comedy You’ve Got Mail
  • Fashion
  • Stryfe (again) (briefly)
  • Psylocke’s telekinetic katana
  • Interactions between Madelyne Pryor and her large adult son
  • Spiral’s Body Shop

NEXT EPISODE: The Brotherhood targets Senator Kelly… again.


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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493 – Now a Major Motion Picture

In which the first X-Men film turns 25 (and holds up remarkably well).

X-PLAINED:

  • A startling absence
  • The X-Men’s big-screen debut
  • An X-film that might have been
  • X-Men (2000), in general; and related publications
  • Some very casting
  • What makes a good adaptation
  • Wolverine’s hair
  • Those costumes
  • The cinematic X-Men
  • The cinematic Brotherhood
  • Sabretooth’s eyebrows
  • Condensed backstories
  • The movie magic of magnetism
  • The worst toy of all time
  • Going to school with superheroes
  • Things we’d like to have seen in the movie

NEXT EPISODE: The origin of Thunderbird! (Not that one.) (Or that one.)


The visual companion to this episode is the film X-Men (2000).

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 492 – Brain Sharks

Listen to the episode here.


492 – Brain Sharks

In which the Shockwave Riders are exceptionally silly; we are deeply impressed by brain sharks; and chrome plating and gun arms are among the lesser explored recurring Claremont motifs.

X-PLAINED:

  • The fate of Sara Grey
  • Revolution Claremont X-book disambiguation
  • Uncanny X-Men #381-383
  • The Neo (again)
  • An unmarked anniversary
  • A secret treasure trove
  • Vagaries of telekinesis and telepathy
  • The Shockwave Riders
  • Brain sharks that eat memories
  • The stuff of legend
  • The Lost Souls
  • Dirges and non-dirges
  • One way to start a conversation
  • Simyon Kurasov
  • Colonel Alexi Vazhin (again)
  • The Slash
  • How to dress to go clubbing
  • Blinkers, somewhat
  • Ransom Sole
  • Big Casino
  • Sketch
  • Revenant
  • Major Debra Levin
  • Bludgeon, Cudgel, and Manacle
  • Houndification
  • The best 21st century X-characters

NEXT EPISODE: The first X-Men movie turns 25!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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An Open Letter to the Guy Who Arrived Late to the Live Show, Sat in the Front Row, Pulled Out His Phone, Asked Repeated Questions About Whether We Subscribe to Identity Politics, Then Stormed Out

Dear Guy Who Arrived Late to the Live Show, Sat in the Front Row, Pulled Out His Phone, Asked Repeated Questions About Whether We Subscribe to Identity Politics, Then Stormed Out,

Jay here. I answered your questions in the episode, but I also want to take a minute to talk about some things I haven’t previously mentioned on the podcast:

My kid has never seen the city where I grew up.

They have never visited my parents’ house.

See, if we go there, I can’t use public restrooms that align with my gender identity and presentation. If I have a medical emergency, doctors can refuse to treat me because I’m trans. If my child has a medical emergency, the police can take them away; again, because I’m trans.

Do I subscribe to identity politics?

I would love for my identity to be apolitical, random guy. I would love it if my very existence weren’t treated by lawmakers as tantamount to public pornography. I would love it if my access to necessary medical care—not just gender-affirming care, but any medical care—weren’t subject to public approval of my gender identity. I would love it if the current administration weren’t doing its level best to erase people like me from both history and existence.

Do I subscribe to identity politics?

Last December, someone filed a malicious report to CPS about my family. Why? We don’t know. Fortunately, the caseworkers who showed up were sympathetic; fortunately, the claim was something immediately and definitively disprovable; but I would love to live in a world where I didn’t have to wonder if it was because my spouse or I disagreed with someone on the Internet while openly queer—and in my case, openly trans.

Do I subscribe to identity politics?

When we started this show, I still identified as female. The majority of the criticism we got during those years was of my voice and appearance.

Do I subscribe to identity politics?

As I said when you first asked, I believe that when lawmakers and public figures politicize specific identities, those identities become—without the consent of the people who carry them—political.

When some identities and relationships but not others are treated as pornographic, publicly acknowledging those identities and relationships becomes a political act.

When your government is attempting to erase you, continuing to live honestly becomes a political act.

And here you come, strolling into my space with your phone and your bad-faith questions, ignoring our answers because they don’t align with your petty agenda, storming out like a displeased toddler when the rest of the crowd increasingly clearly demonstrates that they’re not on your side.

Do I subscribe to identity politics?

Motherfucker, I subscribe to reality.