Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Author: Miles

As Mentioned in Episode 395 – Boxer Briefs of Humanity

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
“Weirdest disco ball I’ve ever seen, Sarge, and I used to hang out at that evil disco Dazzler used to play at.” (Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998)
Maybe this is why the X-Men refuse to use the phone. (Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998)
Shades of Weapon X. (Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998)
Jeez Nathan just ring the freakin’ doorbell (Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998)
Rose Gilberti, you were too good for this world. (Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998)
World 1-4 (Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998)
Dun duh dun duh dun, Inspector Aaron (Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998)
Cable’s psychic link x-plains Machine Man (Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998)
Look, I know the IT department has gotten messy over the course of the pandemic, you don’t have to rub it in (Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998)
EWWW (Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998)
Aww shit we’ve wandered into a TED Talk (Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998)
Sometimes I wish PowerPoint had never been invented (Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998)
And sometimes, as a joke, the Siege Perilous will transform a robot into a naked man with a goatee. (Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998)
Attacked by exposition (Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998)
Go-Go Gadget Free Will! (Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998)
EWWW NOW HE’S DOING IT TOO (Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998)
NEXT TIME: The Old New Mutants meet the New New Mutants

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

395 – Boxer Briefs of Humanity

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jay has exciting news, Rick Leonardo draws an impressively creepy mad scientist’s lair, the clouds are purple and so is the prose, Powers of X gets a subtle prequel 21 years early, Cable’s own tolerance has finally reached zero, and we summarize Bastion’s backstory way, way faster than Bastion does.

X-PLAINED:

  • Machine Man (X-51) (Aaron Stack)
  • Operation Zero Tolerance (more) (again)
  • Jay’s upcoming parental leave
  • Bastion (Sebastion Gilberti)
  • M-Tech
  • Powerman 5000
  • Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998
  • Hobgits and their sound effects
  • Street Fighter: the Roleplaying Game
  • Batroc ze Lepair
  • Jack Kirby’s 2001: A Space Odyssey
  • X-51 / X-23 overlaps
  • Classic Summers Family Bullshit
  • Psionic soapboxes
  • What makes Bastion a compelling villain
  • The necessity of companions
  • Master Mold 3.0 & Nimrod 2.0
  • Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998
  • Terrible font choices
  • ZORCH
  • Cable vs. floors
  • The carbon footprint of robotic fascism
  • Marvel Comics Presents #17-24 (just a little)
  • Incredible Hulk Annual #7 (just a tad)
  • The Siege Perilous
  • The future of Machine Man
  • The hypothetical 2022 version of Bastion
  • Historical events in which we’d love to see long-lived mutants take part

NEXT WEEK: We take a break for the holidays!

IN TWO WEEKS: The Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men 2022 Giant-Size Winter Special!

  • Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
  • Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!
  • Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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HAWK TALK – Keeper

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This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week: Dave Tomaine and Rho Sovia’s graphic novel, Keeper!

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HAWK TALK – Lawyers

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This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week, we talk about lawyers and law.

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HAWK TALK – Basketball

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This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week, we talk about basketball. (Kind of.)

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HAWK TALK – Galaxy: The Prettiest Star

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This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week: Jadzia Axelrod and Jess Taylor’s graphic novel, Galaxy: The Prettiest Star!

As Mentioned in Episode 380 – Arbor Day

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Autumnal. (Generation X #23)
I miss the Blue Ridge Mountains. (Generation X #23)
Banshee’s powers may not make any more sense in these panels, but damn if they don’t look cool. (Generation X #23)
Howard, you should know better than to appear in any comic ever. (Generation X #23)
“Clearly! I mean, you’re not a dog, or purple, or… oh.” (Generation X #23)
Just a regular ol’ sleepover. (Generation X #24)
Characterization by way of wardrobe. (Generation X #24)
Young Jubilee and her ol’ Gem Fusion pal. (Generation X #24)
Yep, that seems 100% accurate. (Generation X #24)
Emplate, gothiest crowd-surfer ever (Generation X #24)
Ironically, the turtle itself was telepathic. (Generation X #24)
The readers see the pictures but the girls just hear the words. Emma is a master of selective detail. (Generation X #24)
“No I did not realize! You looked much less evil before this morning! And also less awesome, if I’m being honest!” (Generation X #25)
Black Tom Cassidy, Mark I. (Generation X #25)
Man, kudzu really is invasive. (Generation X #25)
The death of the-Mondo-we-knew. (Generation X #25)
Black Tom Cassidy, Mark II. (Generation X #25)
Gaaahhhhh those creepy finger-needles in Emma’s head (Generation X #25)
Black Tom Cassidy, Mark III. (Generation X #25)
Like a samurai movie! (Generation X #25)
Could be worse, kids – Howard and the moppets ended up someplace way weirder. (Generation X #25)
NEXT TIME: X-Factor quits.

As Mentioned in Episode 378 – The Unstoppable Huggernaut

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That is a lot of Cain Marko. (Juggernaut #1)
WE’VE GOT SMEK SIGN! WE’VE GOT SMEK SIGN! (Juggernaut #1)
I do not want to be in Juggernaut’s fraternity, please. (Juggernaut #1)
I honestly do not know whether D’Spayre or his chompy demons look cooler. (Juggernaut #1)
They’ve been busy. (Juggernaut #1)
Presenting Black Tom Cassidy’s forked beard and his forked… boots? (Juggernaut #1)
Same outfit as last time, but Spite looks rad as hell in this story. (Juggernaut #1)
Aww shit D’Spayre looks even cooler here (Juggernaut #1)
Even Juggernaut’s skeleton is beefy. (Juggernaut #1)
Jay disapproves of this butt. (Generation X Annual 1997)
“You can’t be Catseye! Your hair is wrong and you’re not talking like Yoda! Aaaaaaand also you’re dead!” (Generation X Annual 1997)
“Thanks for saying my logo right, Jubes.” (Generation X Annual 1997)
Aww, kids. (Generation X Annual 1997)
March 2020 – present (Generation X Annual 1997)
Nothing brings out backstory like a Fear Lord! (Generation X Annual 1997)
Did the power pairings of the current New Mutants run get their start here? Prrrrrobably not. (Generation X Annual 1997)
That’s one biiiiig leprechaun in that executioner’s hood. (Generation X Annual 1997)
When Chamber’s mutant powers first manifested, they destroyed not only his lower jaw and upper chest, but also his swole-ness. (Generation X Annual 1997)
NEXT TIME: Space fashion!

As Mentioned in Episode 377 – Sam Hill

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Milo is better at dominoes than Miles. (Domino #1)
Oh ay oh ay indeed! (Domino #1)
“Miss you? Dude, I barely remember who you are!” (Domino #1)
“And my boots are still full of ninja stars!” (Domino #1)
Is that… a Nike beret? Puck makes it work, though. (Domino #1)
Solid Snake she ain’t. (Domino #1)
Ah, the classic narrative conflict of (wo)man versus man(droid). (Domino #1)
Not exactly the red carpet Domino was hoping for. (Domino #1)
Domino gets strangled, part one. (Domino #2)
…did that explosion just say “Kablooey”? (Domino #2)
Man, that flashback must have been a long time ago. Look how much more hair she has! (Domino #2)
Between this place and the Witness’s cell in Bishop’s future… Are prisons just extra sexy in the Marvel Universe? (Domino #2)
“Ah, we do have fun.” (Domino #2)
Jay disapproves of robot tits. (Domino #2)
Domino gets strangled, part two. (Domino #2)
Domino gets strangled, part three. (Domino #3)
Pay no attention to the mysterious silhouette behind the curtain. (Domino #3)
Somehow, Milo Thurman’s studies of history never included learning just how very common faking one’s own death tends to be in X-books. (Domino #3)
I feel like Domino’s powers have a sense of humor. (Domino #3)
Domino may be an member of X-Force, but she learned how to enter rooms from X-Factor. (Domino #3)
I… but… what? (Domino #3)
Oof. (Domino #3)
PUCK WHY WOULD YOU DRESS LIKE THAT (Domino #3)
NEXT TIME: D’Spayre.