Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Author: Miles

As Mentioned in Episode 124 – The Cruelest Planet

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
“Yep, those four seconds of fighting totally justified the millions of dollars we spent on this Wolverine robot. Thanks, crime!” (Uncanny X-Men #248)
Musical X-Men! Ricochet Rita! Involuntary foreshadowing! This issue’s got it all. (Uncanny X-Men #248)
Goodbye, Longshot. (Uncanny X-Men #248)
“This Jim Lee workout program has been working really well! Also, Ali, maybe you should start using sunscreen?” (Uncanny X-Men #248)
Intentions versus outcomes. Oh, Havok… (Uncanny X-Men #248)
Goodbye, Storm. (Uncanny X-Men #248)
This way, no one will ever forget where to sit! Also, tragedy. So much tragedy. (Uncanny X-Men #249)
We didn’t talk much about this in the episode, but Polaris’s life is pretty terrible when this arc starts. (Uncanny X-Men #249)
Colossus’s teacher is totally going to call Mr. and Mrs. Rasputin in for a parent-teacher conference. (Uncanny X-Men #249)
“Hey, we heard there was a party going on here? We brought brewskis!” (Uncanny X-Men #249)
BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM (Uncanny X-Men #249)
Everything in this issue is both epic and overly abrupt. (Uncanny X-Men #250)
EWWWWWWW (Uncanny X-Men #250)
Psylocke makes some incredibly questionable decisions next issue to get the X-Men out of Australia, but I can’t fully blame her… (Uncanny X-Men #250)
Suddenly, it’s every notable Savage Land character ever! Hi, guys! (Uncanny X-Men #250)
This scene: so weird. So awesome. But also so weird. (Uncanny X-Men #250)
By Crom! (Uncanny X-Men #251)
A fine dose of dream logic, fueled by pure continuity. (Uncanny X-Men #251)
Goodbye, Colossus. (Uncanny X-Men #251)
Goodbye, Dazzler. (Uncanny X-Men #251)
Goodbye, Havok. (Uncanny X-Men #251)
Goodbye, Psylocke. (Uncanny X-Men #251)
The visual equivalent of show, don’t tell. (Uncanny X-Men #251)
Ever have a day so shitty you hallucinated the future? (Uncanny X-Men #251)
Damn, Logan. Damn. (Uncanny X-Men #251)
NEXT WEEK: Giant-Size Summer Special: Evolution Edition!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

As Mentioned in Episode 122 – Boom Boom von Doom and the Ontology of Monsters

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
“Hey, let’s play Final Fantasy! You bring the drama and I’ll bring the fetch quest!” (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
Imagine a world where Boomslang showed up in Giant-Size X-Men #1 instead of Wolverine. IMAGINE IT. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
“Brightly-colored pureed veggies – my only weakness!” (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
This is the happiest Longshot will ever be. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
Namorita’s pretty awesome, but… why would you wear that underwater? (New Mutants Annual #5)
Please note Undertow’s tastefully covered nipples. He’s a gentleman. (New Mutants Annual #5)
I believe the sound effect you’re looking for is TOOT, Ghaur. Are you even trying? (New Mutants Annual #5)
I’ll give you this, Rob: you draw a pretty awesome weird-Fizzgig-monster-thing. (New Mutants Annual #5)
In which John Byrne’s writing and art are two great tastes that taste great together. (X-Factor Annual #4)
Come on, Attuma – didn’t you read Avengers #263 and Fantastic Four #286? (X-Factor Annual #4)
“No time to process your deep-seated trauma at watching half your friends die – time to punch my dad!” (X-Factor Annual #4)
FUCK YEAH JEAN GREY (X-Factor Annual #4)
I mean, there’s really no subtlety here. It’s just straight-up the Blues Brothers. (X-Factor Annual #4)
Hey, it’s that guy! (X-Factor Annual #4)
I mean, this panel is fine, but it mainly makes me miss Marc Silvestri. (X-Factor Annual #4)
Watch out for Magneto’s brain-hat! (X-Factor Annual #4)
And also watch out for Doom’s brain-face! (X-Factor Annual #4)
Magneto’s backstory: more tragedy than any three Lifetime movies. (Seriously, though – poor guy.) (X-Factor Annual #4)
Everything about Boom Boom and Rictor’s body language is perfect. Jon Bogdanove, please draw both of them forever. (New Mutants Annual #5)
Tabitha Smith, living cartoon. (New Mutants Annual #5)
No caption can add to the perfection that is this sequence. (New Mutants Annual #5)
Do you know how many coats it takes to get adamantium to hold color? (New Mutants Annual #5)
This narration? Yeah, the entire story’s like this. And it is PERFECT. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
Amid all the motormouth bluster, Jubilee basically just wants friends. Aww, kid. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
The origin of both the best costume parts Jubilee didn’t keep and the best part she did. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)
Next time: the X-Babies! (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

As Mentioned in Episode 119 – Red Night of the Soul (Feat. Elisabeth Allie)

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
“So you’re saying she’s definitely not my actual, literal grandmother, right? Cool; glad we made that absolutely, incontrovertibly clear.” (New Mutants #53)
Previously, on New Mutants… (New Mutants Forever #1)
“I mean, I know things are urgent what with the gunfight we’re trying to stop, but those old outfits were so 1987.” (New Mutants Forever #1)
Hela’s presence makes any scene in which she appears at least 20% more epic than it would otherwise have been. I mean, damn – that hat, right? (New Mutants Forever #1)
Remember when Magneto and the New Mutants were actually capable of completing a conversation without Sunspot throwing something? (New Mutants Forever #1)
Absorbing that wretch’s life-force also gave her a gift certificate to Frederick’s of Hollywood. (New Mutants Forever #1)
I personally think Warlock is hotter as a Sienkiewicz-style asymmetrical scribble-monster, but tastes vary. (New Mutants Forever #2)
Roberto’s pretty perfect, but what’s up with Warlock’s generic robot form? You’re better than this, Warlock. (New Mutants Forever #2)
Nice visual continuity work, Al Rio. Seriously. (New Mutants Forever #2)
Okay, that’s legitimately horrifying. It’s a good thing nothing bad ever happened to Doug Ramsey in mainstream continuity. (New Mutants Forever #2)
“Selene… What the hell are they wearing?” “I… I have no idea, kids.” (New Mutants Forever #3)
This would be disturbing regardless, but Rio’s rendition of Warlock as more purely mechanical makes his injuries that much more viscerally cringe-inducing. (New Mutants Forever #3)
The art / dialogue disconnect here makes me giggle every time. (New Mutants Forever #3)
Limbo as we’ve never seen it. (New Mutants Forever #3)
Red Skull, you are officially a terrible person. Ew. (New Mutants Forever #4)
Okay, that’s actually pretty awesome. A little silly, sure, but still pretty awesome. (New Mutants Forever #4)
I AM SO UNCOMFORTABLE RIGHT NOW (New Mutants Forever #4)
Cool, Warlock got Muscular Augments and Grooved Spines! (New Mutants Forever #4)
Pathos, thy name is skullified-Doug-in-tighty-whities. (New Mutants Forever #4)
Hey, Amara’s not wearing her weird Nazi fetish outfit anymore! …Oh, she’s still mind-controlled. Damn. (New Mutants Forever #4)
This battle sequence is rad, but I wish we could swap out a couple of those Nova Romans for Dani and Rahne. (New Mutants Forever #5)
Eh, it’s only a bullet to the head. She’ll be fine by the next page. (New Mutants Forever #5)
“I’ll beat you with my fists and my knowledge of first century Roman political history!” (New Mutants Forever #5)
Weirdly, the most perfectly on-model characters in New Mutants Forever aren’t actually the New Mutants. (New Mutants Forever #5)
This was a really weird episode of House, MD. (New Mutants Forever #5)
Next time: even more Nazis. (Excalibur #9)

LINKS:

  • Check out guest host Elisabeth Allie’s blog!
  • And: check out the band she represents, the Doubleclicks: a nationally touring, Billboard charting pop band with a cello, a meowing cat keyboard, and songs about Dungeons and Dragons!

Double Gatefold Foil Die-Cut Skip Week: Collector’s Edition

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codeine_or_time

Miles here!

So: we were planning to record episode 117 this past Saturday (giving us our usual eight days of time for editing, post-production, proofing, and patching) – things were going to be a little tighter than usual for our producer Kyle since he was traveling during the second part of the week, but he volunteered to kick extra ass around his day job to get the episode done around his trip.

Aaaaand then Jay very suddenly got very sick, and between our schedule and Kyle’s, by the time it became clear that they weren’t going to be able to record, it was too late to find an emergency back-up co-host, do the prep we’d need for a guest, and record and produce an episode.

All of that to say: we’ll be recording episode 117 a week later than we planned, which means it’s going up a week later. Jay’s going to be fine and we’re going to do what we can to make sure this doesn’t happen again, but we won’t have a new episode this coming Sunday.

Apologies to all of you – and thanks for your understanding. In the meantime, we’ll have video reviews up at the usual times this and next week, and episode 117 will be up on July 17th.

As Mentioned in Episode 116 – The Pooper of This Party

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Listen to the episode here.

So gloriously tropey!
Jubilation Lee: immediately wonderful.
The comic timing on this is perfect. That last row, y’all.
The M Squad really needs their own title. At least a one-shot (since they likely wouldn’t survive longer than that).
Is it normal for department stores to have dramatically-lit Posing Curtains?
Most people don’t know that Uncanny X-Men #246 is Gambit’s actual first appearance.
So gloriously tropey x2!
Where’s Waldo?
Okay, Liefeld’s art is actually a ton of fun in this issue.
Australia: so chill. We guess?
Longshot saves the world through enthusiasm!
Wolverine plays poker hard.
Dammit, Silvestri.
The Siege Perilous: best/worst iPad ever.
Seriously, why would someone make this Senator Kelly action figure? Aside from to make sure none of us ever sleep again.
Miles wonders how much gel it would take to get his hair to do that.
One of our favorite seldom-addressed dynamics. Such good-natured jerks!
It’s hard to make talking heads interesting. Silvestri makes it look effortless.
“Everyone! Shoot all of your differently-colored lasers!”
Psylocke looks so sad. Senator Kelly looks so is-going-to-make-some-terrible-decisions.
Never change, Jubilee.
Rogue doesn’t do things halfway.
Don’t feel bad, Dazzler. You’ll get your turn.
In an unexpected twist, the firemen are watching Nanny and Orphan-Maker.
Next time: The New Mutants drop out.

116 – The Pooper of This Party

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Jubilation Lee: immediately wonderful.
Art by Marc Silvestri from Uncanny X-Men #244. David Wynne’s art will return next episode!

In which Jubilee makes her fabulous debut, the X-Ladies visit Hotbods, the X-Dudes accidentally (and drunkenly) save the world, Longshot is Sexy Johnny Karate, the only thing worse than one anti-mutant super-robot is two, and we say goodbye to a quarter of the team.

X-PLAINED:

  • Hellfire Club leadership
  • Uncanny X-Men #244-247
  • Team-relative Inferno after-effects
  • Jubilation Lee
  • Teddy girls
  • The surprisingly not-dead M Squad
  • Chaos (but not KAOS)
  • Dazzler, heart and/or steamroller of the X-Men
  • Miles’s alternate career as alien archivist
  • DC’s Invasion
  • Logan’s Guide to Kissing Etiquette
  • Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown continuity disambiguation
  • Sexy dead girls
  • Perils of the Siege Perilous
  • Sharon Kelly
  • Rogue, Carol Danvers, and relative (im)maturity
  • The MTV Generation
  • Wolverine’s hair
  • X-(misc.) Forever
  • Storm’s threads

NEXT EPISODE: The New Mutants drop out.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

No illustration this week, but David Wynne‘s art will be back next episode!

As Mentioned in Episode 94 – WELCOME TO DIE!

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Pryde of the X-Men‘s character designs are pretty damned comics-accurate, if slightly pastel. (I guess Kitty would have gotten her Shadowcat costume later?)
Real talk: if you watch this show on VHS, Spider-Man takes a minute of your time beforehand to tell you how important it is to vote.
Okay, that’s a legitimately cool way of showing how awesome telepathy can be. And a legitimately GI Joe-looking moment.
“Choose your character, Kitty Pryde!”
This image documents Kitty’s single moment of hesitation before she decides that following a bunch of strangers into space is a great plan.
Pryde of the X-Men‘s Storm may actually be her best on-screen portrayal.
“G’day! Let’s get a dingo on the barbie, you wallaby! Foster’s!”
This makes me actually kind of wish Dazzler had been on the team in the early 80s.
The Arcade Game: Heroes!
The Arcade Game: Villains!
It’s… basically a whole lot of this.
Three Living Monoliths for the price of one!
Twelve-year-old Miles was in heaven. Thirty-three-year-old Miles was too.
Our players: Anna Sheffey, Miles Stokes, and Elisabeth Allie!
Next time: The Brood are back, baby.

LINKS:

As Mentioned in Episode 93 – The Discreet Charm of the Brood

8 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
JEEZ, MOM.
Just… don’t get on planes if you’re a mutant. It’s not worth it.
Nature is terrible.
Ever kiss somebody so hard that you set the world on fire? Well, probably not, unless you’re Magma.
Okay, that’s just adorable.
It’s not that knives aren’t intimidating…
Did we mention that this issue was awesome? This issue is awesome.
There’s so much going on here.
“And after this, I’m going to go record an album with Epica.”
Poor Kitty. Poor Illyana. Poor everybody.
Damn, Blevins. Not bad.
This is… This is going to be fine.
THIS IS GOING TO BE FINE.
“Did I say Epica? I meant Iced Earth.”
Okay, that’s just badass.
Maybe Forge is channeling ancient Cheyenne magic… or maybe he just wanted translucent furry pants.
SYMBOLISM.
Stryfe: *slow clap*
And then the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come showed up.
NEXT WEEK: Pryde of the X-Men with Elisabeth Allie!

93 – The Discreet Charm of the Brood

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | Email | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which airplanes are really dangerous if you’re a mutant, Magik remembers that time she dreamed about remembering a dream, those who live by mystically bad judgment die by mystically bad judgment, It’s Always Mystique (TM), and everything leads to Inferno.

 

X-PLAINED:

  • Forge’s moral compass
  • New Mutants #62-63 and #65-66
  • Empath and irredeemable vs. sympathetic villains
  • Magical postal eagles
  • Nova Roma
  • Jag-u-ars
  • Art as era signifier
  • Time travel nightmare logic
  • Sharpiemancy
  • The “last” Brood
  • Jerk headmasters who won’t even let you commit murder
  • A long-awaited roomie reunion
  • Bret Blevins’s mad Limbo skillz
  • Claremont / Simonson character maturity equilibrium
  • Astrally furry pants
  • Loyalty to the living versus loyalty to the dead
  • The Ultimate Darkchilde
  • Wolverine’s surprisingly non-metallic teeth
  • Partying with the New Mutants

NEXT WEEK: Pryde of the X-Men.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Miles Reviews the X-Men, Episode 70

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Weeks of 1/13/2016 and 1/20/2016:

In which Miles flies solo and reviews two weeks’ worth of comics, Secret Wars sticks the landing, and All-New X-Men remains basically perfect.

REVIEWED:

  • Secret Wars #9 (00:46)
  • Uncanny X-Men #2 (02:56)
  • Extraordinary X-Men #5 (05:26)
  • All-New Wolverine #4 (07:52)
  • *All-New X-Men #3 (09:48
  • X-Men: Worst X-Man Ever #2 & 3 (12:25)

*Pick of the Week (15:25)

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. These video reviews–and everything else here–are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!