Miles

As Mentioned in Episode 375 – One Thousand Kicks to the Face

June 19, 2022 Miles Leave a comment

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Ororo, you're a good enough thief that you could probably afford clothes without holes in them... or is that a style thing? (X-Men #60)

I mean, this is definitely implying that Storm ran around the bronze age with Candra's Heart as a fashion accessory, right? (X-Men #60)

"Dammit Ororo, did you learn nothing from my brother?!" (X-Men #60)

Candra as shibari lobster once more, now with ear-mandibles! (X-Men #60)

Remember that one Punisher movie where Frank set a bunch of cars on fire in the shape of a big skull? That was kinda cool. (X-Men #60)

Tiny mustache or shadow - you be the judge! (X-Men #60)

I know the Shadow King is supposed to be dead at this point, but that has to be him! Look at the speech bubble borders! (X-Men #60)

"As opposed to that time I had kidney stones, which was only about three hundred kicks to the face!" (X-Men #61)

Logan is tasting the air like a snake! (X-Men #61)

Storm gets Candra's hopes up... (X-Men #61)

...before Cyclops ZARKs them upon the rocks. That's cold, guys. (X-Men #61)

Matching nightshirts! (X-Men Unlimited #14)

Whoa. Nicely done, Jim Cheung. (X-Men Unlimited #14)

Never change, Artie. (X-Men Unlimited #14)

Ever see Children of the Corn, Joe? (X-Men Unlimited #14)

I wish everyone had a dad this supportive. (X-Men Unlimited #14)

No moppet should moppet alone! (X-Men Unlimited #14)

HAWK TALK – Doonesbury

May 29, 2022 Miles 9 comments

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This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week’s topic was chosen by Andy Bartholomew.

As Mentioned in Episode 373 – Tainted Loins

May 22, 2022 Miles 7 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Looks like your dad's pain is a little worse than yours, Bobby. (Uncanny X-Men #340)

Now that is 1996 Sam Guthrie. Finally. (Uncanny X-Men #340)

Graydon Creed according to Joe Madureira... and Victor Creed as a glass of whiskey. (Uncanny X-Men #340)

If the command van's a-knockin'... (Uncanny X-Men #340)

Joe Madureira's mostly known for his action scenes, but he's pretty great with quiet conversations too. (Uncanny X-Men #340)

Your government dresses you funny, Madrox. (X-Factor #128)

Graydon Creed according to Jeff Matsuda... and Harper, who is well aware of the need for discretion. (X-Factor #128)

Mystique transforms, version 1. (X-Factor #128)

Sabretooth and less-interesting-Sabretooth. (X-Factor #128)

Val Cooper just got back from the most dangerous sleepover ever. (X-Factor #129)

I love it when powers cross panel borders. (X-Factor #129)

Mystique transforms, version 2. (X-Factor #129)

Having grown up in the 90s, I can assure you this is quite an accomplishment. (X-Factor #129)

Scrawling SOON across your son's campaign poster is the first step in saving his life. (X-Factor #129)

Blowing a hole in your son's campaign poster is the second step in saving his life. (X-Factor #130)

Blowing additional holes in your son's campaign poster is the third step in saving his life. (X-Factor #130)

Mystique transforms, version 3. (X-Factor #130)

Graydon Creed according to Eric Battle... and Val Cooper has changed out of her sleepwear. (X-Factor #130)

I'm just writing a visual companion, and I kinda want to yell "GUARDS". (X-Factor #130)

This should've been two-thirds of the issue instead of two pages. (X-Factor #130)

Raven, just interrupt! You're allowed! (X-Factor #130)

NEXT EPISODE: Hawk Talk! IN TWO WEEKS: Frank Punisher meets Carl the X-Cutioner.

373 – Tainted Loins

May 22, 2022 Miles 7 comments

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In which the Drake Roberts identity is retired; Gambit bonds with William Drake; Graydon Creed is evil but nondescript; tales of Pyro’s death have been somewhat exaggerated; and some mysteries resolve better than others.

X-PLAINED:

Damian Tryp
X-Factor (more) (again)
Uncanny X-Men #340
X-Factor #128-30
More Drake family dynamics
The Sword of Shannara
The general vagueness of Graydon Creed
Several ninjas
Hound stuff
Val Cooper’s pajamas
An unexpected return
Shapeshifting
Overextended plotlines
Some unusually threatening dad jokes
The anticlimactic death of Graydon Creed
Some time travel bullshit
Which series are ending and which are relaunching between Reign of X and Destiny of X
How and when Colossus stopped being the Juggernaut

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: The Adventures of Carl & Frank

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 372 – Monty Python’s Life of Magnus

May 15, 2022 Miles 2 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Steven Tyler vs Mick Jagger? (Magneto #1)

Home security has come a long way since 1996. (Magneto #1)

Sometimes the art crosses the line from iffy to weirdly awesome. (Magneto #1)

The sparkles are a nice touch, Fabian. (Magneto #1)

Where... where'd your hair go, man? (Magneto #1)

Fabian, what did that bird ever do to you?! (Magneto #2)

Meanwhile, in the space-opera version of this story... (Magneto #2)

Kelley Jones really nails the moments of Joseph's Magneto-facade slipping. (Magneto #2)

I mean, those birds have ample reason to have misgivings themselves. Fabian Cortez could be anywhere! (Magneto #2)

If Fabian Cortez had a mustache, he'd be twirling it right now. (Magneto #3)

Only the real Magneto could maniacally cackle at an angle that dramatic! (Magneto #4)

Because it's about time someone did. (Magneto #4)

Broadcast Standards & Practices salutes you, Joseph. (Magneto #4)

"...for twenty-three days or so..." (Magneto #4)

NEXT TIME: Mystique vs. politicians-being-alive, round 2. Sorta.

As Mentioned in Episode 371 – Beware of Psychodrama

May 8, 2022 Miles Leave a comment

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Before settling on paint and canvas, Piotr Rasputin's first medium was the thought balloon. (Excalibur #104)

Moira, I know a lot of us have been working from home for a while now, but you may have overdone the whole home-office thing just a tad. (Excalibur #104)

Douglock is so much less mean than Mystique usually is when angrily shapeshifting! (Excalibur #104)

LOOK SHE'S IN THE SHADOWS SHE COULD BE ANYONE OKAY (Excalibur #104)

Also, Dani never did that back in the day. (Excalibur #104)

Pretty sure this cover was printed on black velvet. (Excalibur #105)

Bryan Hitch may be the first artist to make Wildside look genuinely intimidating. (Excalibur #105)

Kitty, those aren't image inducers, they're jackets, and you're wearing one too. (Excalibur #105)

Sound effect as narrative tool. (Excalibur #105)

Kitty gave an emotional and heartfelt speech without using the N-word! (Excalibur #105)

Piotr Rasputin is the firestarter. Twisted firestarter. (Excalibur #106)

But seriously, this is one of the most visually engaging pages of backstory I've ever read. (Excalibur #106)

Meggan Puceanu, Actual Elf. (Excalibur #106)

Hey, it's Frenzy! We love Frenzy! (Excalibur #106)

Jay is not okay with your thought-bubble-versus-computer-display redundancy, Moira. (Excalibur #106)

Excalibur, the comic where everyone is sexy all the time. (Excalibur #106)

Piotr, I think you put your pants on the wrong... you know what, you go, Russian cowboy. Now where did I put those singles... (Excalibur #106)

Metaphor by way of landmine. (Excalibur #106)

"And we're going to ride bikes with Magneto and he's going to take us to France!" (Excalibur #106)

LINKS & FURTHER MISADVENTURES

We allude frequently to Warlock piloting around Doug’s corpse, which story we covered in Episode 91 – The Saddest Story Ever Told.

HAWK TALK – Online Communities

May 1, 2022 Miles 7 comments

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This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week’s topic was chosen by Play Comics.

As Mentioned in Episode 370 – The Sound of Evil

April 24, 2022 Miles One comment

Listen to the episode here.

So sad... but so colorful! (Uncanny X-Men #46) (M - Jean's yellow plaid garment is what we fashionistas call a "coat." -J)

There's a reason the Juggernaut's armor makes him look kinda like a mushroom. (Uncanny X-Men #46)

Angel's normally better than his teammates at dodging, but he's weighed down by his fashion choices. Well, Jean's, I guess. She made his costume. Possibly out of spite. (Uncanny X-Men #46)

JEAN GREY YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS (Uncanny X-Men #46)

That's more like it! (Continuity aside.) (Uncanny X-Men #46)

Cheer up, kids. You'll be back together in just a few issues. (Uncanny X-Men #46)

This is pretty much how Drag Race works, right? (Uncanny X-Men #52)

Shortest cold open ever. (Uncanny X-Men #52)

"Scott, you wore that out? I just made that for you for Bedroom Time! (Uncanny X-Men #52)

I appreciate how very 60s this pair of panels is. (Uncanny X-Men #52)

It's... it's way more complicated than that, Lorna. (Uncanny X-Men #52)

Now that is how you start an issue! (Uncanny X-Men #60)

SCOTT SUMMERS YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS (Uncanny X-Men #60)

I wish we got to see more of Jean and Lorna as buds. (Uncanny X-Men #60)

We didn't talk about this in the episode, but I love the story the Brotherhood's body language is telling in the foreground. (Uncanny X-Men #60)

Miles's favorite two-page spread. (Uncanny X-Men #60)

How can something so ridiculous be so genuinely tense? (Uncanny X-Men #60)

Name a better origin story - we dare you. (Uncanny X-Men #60)

Well, it beats the costume with the suspenders. (Uncanny X-Men #60)

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

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More from Max Carleton:

370 – The Sound of Evil (feat. Max Carleton)

April 24, 2022 Miles 22 comments

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In which Max Carleton and Miles take a trip back to the Silver Age, the origins of Marvel Girl’s telepathy are questionable, the nature of Polaris’s parentage is also questionable, and the quality of Sauron’s origin story shall never be questioned.

X-PLAINED:

The Locust (Dr. August Hopper)
Uncanny X-Men #46, 52, and 60
Genuine tragedy
Funereal fashion
Frederick “Amos” Duncan
The Juggernaut (Cain Marko) (again)
The Crimson Cosmos
Energy globules
Charles Xavier’s telepathy lending library
Jean Grey, spiteful seamstress
Erik the Red (the first one) (Scott Summers)
Lorna Dane, fashion icon
Filially-obligated villainy
Psychic-delia
The sadly short-lived Roy Thomas / Neal Adams run
Suspension of disbelief
Pteranodons
Sauron (Karl Lykos, fantasy nerd)
Alex Summers, perpetual captive and/or villain battery
Miles’s favorite two-page spread
How to choose the perfect supervillain name
X-Men: The Animated Series, 1960s Edition
Our Silver Age X-creator wish list
Magnetism

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!