Miles

As Mentioned in Episode 484 – Hell Tuba

April 20, 2025 Miles 2 comments

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A miniseries based on a miniseries! (X-Men: Magik #1)

What are we looking at? Not sure. Is it rad? Definitely. (X-Men: Magik #1)

To paraphrase: it doesn't have to be practical if it's AWESOME. (X-Men: Magik #1)

Not the most efficient way to blow up a bunch of Teslas, but certainly stylish. (X-Men: Magik #1)

Only one of them got the note about the dress code. But which? (X-Men: Magik #1)

The Battle for Hell's Deep. (X-Men: Magik #1)

So, like, what if the sky broke and then cut off your goddamned head, is my question (X-Men: Magik #2)

Everyone's outfits are very long. (X-Men: Magik #2)

Did we mention that this series is in a hell dimension? (X-Men: Magik #2)

(Pushes up Norse glasses:) Technically, Surtur's sword Twilight would only be on fire if he'd entered Asgard upon the day of Ragnarök, and... (X-Men: Magik #2)

And then sometimes the art is suddenly beautiful. (X-Men: Magik #2)

I now pronounce you Hell-Lord and Sorceress! (X-Men: Magik #3)

Hey, tell us more about Lord Militant Phemous and his Huscarls! (X-Men: Magik #3)

Meanwhile, in the Hell-actic Senate... (X-Men: Magik #3)

You get out of the sky and finish your evil-chrome-skeleton-god dinner this instant, young man! (X-Men: Magik #3)

All hail the Hell Tuba! (X-Men: Magik #4)

Welp, there you have it. (X-Men: Magik #4)

Hey, it's Death's Head II! Hi, Death's Head II! (X-Men: Magik #4)

I'm pretty sure Judas Priest has a song about this. (X-Men: Magik #4)

We need to start a metal band just so we can use this as an album cover. (X-Men: Magik #4)

The last day of summer camp is always bittersweet. (X-Men: Magik #4)

NEXT TIME: Generation X versus that thing!

484 – Hell Tuba

April 20, 2025 Miles 5 comments

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In which the 2000 Magik miniseries is not a good comics series but is an excellent heavy metal concept album; Nightmare has a nightmare; and tubas work differently in Hell.

X-PLAINED:

Belasco: the early years
Magik (2000 series) #1-4
Magik (Amanda Sefton) (Jimaine Szardos) (more) (again)
Some art stuff
The realm of Nightmare
The Splinter Realms
The Soul Sword (Amanda Sefton version)
An Archfiend of the Pit
Nugent
Chekhov’s Hell computer (and its secretions)
Kurt Wagner’s short and bizarre career in the church
Vitchen
Several cool demon battles
The Dread Dormammu
Gleeg
A problem
Muspelheim
Twilight (sword)
Some Mephisto nonsense
Hades, maybe
Epithets
A convocation
Weird Hell guys
Duke Bleys
The Archenemy
The Hell Tuba
The most demonic brass instrument
Some time travel bullshit
Stories where Emma Frost is at her best
Villain reuse

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X gets new threads!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 483 – Piotr Lovely Locks

April 13, 2025 Miles 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

I appreciate that Shadowcat's new costume involves her perpetually flipping the (very sharp) bird. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)

I mean, it could be worse - you could be Colossus. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)

[Epic metal begins] (X-Men: Black Sun #1)

Is Nightcrawler trying to distract from his awful new color scheme by diving at the reader crotch-first? (X-Men: Black Sun #1)

A different look than usual, but I'm not mad at it. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)

Except that one time! And kind of that other time! (X-Men: Black Sun #1)

Chekhov's removable skeleton. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)

I mean, we're not not going to show the shattered-moon-and-mountain-of-skulls every time it comes up. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)

Magik x-plains the miniseries. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)

After this, Warren will be required to take a Defensive Swooping class. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)

Oof - right in the outfit! (X-Men: Black Sun #2)

A warm welcome back to Polaris's chest-skull! (X-Men: Black Sun #3)

"Listen, it's not my fault I've been a terrible boyfriend to every woman I've dated! And it definitely doesn't imply anything!" (X-Men: Black Sun #3)

"Hey! That's my favorite nipple you almost cut off!" (X-Men: Black Sun #4)

Dude needs to hydrate. (X-Men: Black Sun #4)

We'd normally say not to mess with perfection, but that's not a bad evolution of the Phoenix costume! (X-Men: Black Sun #4)

Now that's a demon. Well, Ru'tai. (X-Men: Black Sun #4)

The origin of Magik's bare midriff! (X-Men: Black Sun #4)

You're missing a bloodstone and a Banshee! (X-Men: Black Sun #5)

Paging Doctor Belmont... (X-Men: Black Sun #5)

Way better than throwing a Poké Ball. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)

Hey, now there are SIX bloodstones! At least Belasco's throne is rad. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)

From the Arcane Tome of Evil Fashion. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)

What if Magik was She-Ra? (X-Men: Black Sun #5)

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

On Yom Kippur, you fight your own skeleton.

483 – Piotr Lovely Locks

April 13, 2025 Miles 9 comments

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In which a lot has happened in the Six Month Gap (and we even get to learn about some of it); we’d missed Claremontian narration; Miles has questions about Colossus’s ponytail; the Soulsword is basically a Poké Ball; the Shadow Pope is cooler than the regular Pope; and Magik has a secret.

X-PLAINED:

Some big news
X-Men: Black Sun #1-5
Phoenix and Psylocke’s sorta-power-swap
Implied continuity
The N’Garai
Belasco
Limbo
Magik (Illyana Rasputin)
New costumes
Priests vs blood magic
An impressively overcomplicated evil plot
Chekhov’s skeleton
Body swaps and/or possession
Thunderbird (Neal Sharra)
Pilgrimm and the Ru’tai (again, surprisingly)
Astral meetups
Confusing bloodstone math
A Triple-Tech
Magik (Amanda Sefton)
Counting X-generations
Our favorite X-decades

NEXT EPISODE: More Magik!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 482 – The Mutant Gene for Murder

April 13, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

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"Mr. Wisdom would have wanted me to show this much chest." (X-Force #106)

A fitting tribute from Romany Wisdom (Mark II). (X-Force #106)

Come on, Cable totally would have trained X-Force on Robert's Rules of Order. (X-Force #106)

"Well, you're looking at a version of it that doesn't yet have nearly enough black leather." (X-Force #106)

Upon further consideration: yeah, Meltdown totally designed all of these. (X-Force #107)

"You see, I have the mutant gene for murder." (X-Force #107)

Domino understood the fashion assignment. (X-Force #108)

Remember, you can shoot the eyeball for double damage. (X-Force #108)

First you murder all of the children at this birthday party, and then you have the gall to criticize the host's baking? (X-Force #108)

Meet these guys! But don't get too attached. (X-Force #108)

But that doesn't... it looks nothing like... ah, never mind. (X-Force #108)

You can read the entirety of New Mutants and X-Force as the history of Cannonball learning to turn. (X-Force #109)

I bet he's using his Cable voice for this threat. (X-Force #109)

Tsung has probably seen The Matrix like, a lot. (X-Force #109)

Mr. Giger sends his regards. (X-Force #109)

As Mentioned in Episode 481 – Chekhov’s Butt-Gun

March 23, 2025 Miles 4 comments

Listen to the episode here.

In which Adrienne Frost flirts with a corpse. (Generation X #67)

Oh man, Monet's left sock is going to be all wet and gross for the rest of the morning... (Generation X #67)

I used to love it when the cafeteria served GReeBo C back in high school. (Generation X #67)

I think those bullies were held back a few years... like maybe 30 or so. (Generation X #67)

Just some really fun faces on this page. (Generation X #67)

It's like a romance comic cover exploded! (Generation X #68)

Hey, that shirt's just painted on! (Generation X #68)

Teens are the worst, Jubilee. (Generation X #68)

"And I assure you, that's far from the most dangerous thing in this skirt." (Generation X #68)

Everyone reacts to bad news in their own way. Penance's way is to stick a Mjolnir sticker to her face. (Generation X #68)

The snowy calm before the fiery storm. (Generation X #69)

"The Leprechauns of Cassidy Keep never gave me this much grief." (Generation X #69)

What fighting game is this supposed to be?! And don't say Ninja Boogie! (Generation X #69)

What is this, Black Friday? (Generation X #70)

Kid's got a point, Sean. (Generation X #70)

You really feel the crush of humanity in this issue. (Generation X #70)

Everett Thomas: hero 'til the end. (Generation X #70)

Bye, Adrienne. See ya never. (Generation X #70)

Left-to-right, the answers will be: make bad decisions as part of X-Factor, become a vampire mom, have sex with Angel in the sky above Ma Guthrie, get crucified on the X-Mansion's lawn, and find out you're a descendent of Apocalypse. (Generation X #70)

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

Episode 303 – No Simple Answers, feat. Laura Hudson

481 – Chekhov’s Butt-Gun

March 23, 2025 Miles 9 comments

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In which Adrienne Frost is absolutely terrible (and so was Ronald Reagan); you should not put guns in your butt; Synch deserved better; and Jay and Miles inventory their favorite dangling plot threads of the ‘90s.

X-PLAINED:

Several potential origins of Havok’s stupid hat
Generation X #67-70
Revolution (more) (again)
Shockwave (more) (again)
Adrienne Frost (more) (again)
The New Xavier School and/or Massachusetts Academy (more) (again)
Possible necrophilia
Dorm life
How not to draw clothing
Rules of entry to Jubilee’s dorm room
The Rich Person Store
How to say the word “consigliere”
The ‘90s
Blackmail
Limits of telepathy
Arson
Ninja Boogie
Panic
How to keep Synch safe
Adultification
Failure to keep Synch safe
Where to pick up to follow along with us
Plot threads we’d like to see picked back up

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force goes Counter-X!

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Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 479 – Nancy Drew and the Secret of Carrion Cove

March 4, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Jay's not wrong that the buildings look like giant dildos... but at least they look like fancy dildos! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)

Starring: a bunch of fashionable jerks, mostly! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)

Not a good look when your cops look just like the cops who used to oppress you... (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)

Magneto: Master of Magnetism and Monologues! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)

okay but what about the chest-skull (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)

That floaty platform has a heated floor, blind spot monitoring, and built-in GPS. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)

For all your chat reaction needs! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)

These here comical books are lookin' pretty comical-booky. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)

Magneto talks to... someone! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)

We just like this cover. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)

Everybody fights everybody! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)

In which dust illustrates speed and impact! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)

It's like the portrait-instead-of-landscape version of widescreen storytelling! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)

Father of the year. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)

To her credit, she does have all the Kirby Krackle. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)

Because Mister Sinister is the hidden force behind literally everything. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)

Rest in Ponytail, Fabian Cortez. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)

"Time to conceive some other on-again, off-again offspring who suck less." (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

That thing about the cooking show and spreader bars and Namor that Jay was talking about
Information and pencils from Chris Claremont and Rick Leonardi’s canceled Phoenix miniseries

479 – Nancy Drew and the Secret of Carrion Cove

March 4, 2025 Miles 10 comments

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In which Genosha gets better and/or worse; Fabian Cortez is the Secretary of Betrayal; having an action figure of yourself is the path to immortality; and Hammer Bay sounds like a sex toy company.

X-PLAINED:

Triathlon
The Revolution relaunch and the six-month gap
Magneto: Dark Seduction #1-4
Erotic skyscrapers
Magneto (again) (forever)
X-Men Tijuana Bibles
The Genoshan Cabinet
Dark friendship with benefits
Polaris’s newfound interest in heavy metal
Magneto’s on-again, off-again children
Carrion Cove
Coloring symbolism and/or errors
Spat and Grovel (kind of)
Magneto’s ancestral f**k-ghost
Socialism!
Magneto’s mysterious mind-voice
Neal Conan
The Avengers of 2000
Kirby Krackle
Magneto’s smooth arc into villainy
Bonking
Human nature
Rachel Summers in the Body Shoppe
Our (lack of) coverage of solo comics

NEXT EPISODE: X-Man!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!