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In which Synch is better with your powers than you are; Generation X gets some actual training; Artie and Leech are fully feral; everyone gets the hots for Paladin; Zeus has probably fucked a motorcycle at some point; many countries have valleys; and Adrienne Frost is terrible.
X-PLAINED:
- Generation X #52-54
- Tristan Brawn (more) (again)
- Grant Morrison on suspension of disbelief in superhero media
- Honor vs. privilege
- School dance themes
- Artie and Leech’s habitat
- Spider-Ham
- Ducktor Doom
- Role models
- What Gaia is probably definitely up to
- Paladin
- The Rising Sons
- Rollerblades
- Dragon problems
- Power emulation vs. reproduction
- Pokémans
- Cosplaying Emma Frost with a beard
- Diamond Patch
- Muir Island vs. Muir Isle
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I love Paladin so much. I first encountered him in a very silly Marvel Comics Presents strip that ran in one of the issues that had segments of “Retribution Affair” and “Panther’s Quest,” and he is one of those characters who always makes e happy when he shows up but who I don’t actually care about as a fictional person. He briefly dated Janet van Dyne and was on the Thunderbolts team with Ant-Man (Eric), Headsman, Mr. X and Black Widow which was where I first really got to love Jeff Parker’s writing.
I thought I remembered Paladin, but then realised I was getting him confused with Dominic Fortune and that Paladin was the one with the memorable outfit and forgettable personality.
I think the only way I could accept his “date” with Jubilee is to stomp on the possibility of “flirty”, and instead play it like an uncle taking his niece out to a fancy restaurant, with all the comedic disaster potential that might have.
In terms of motorcycle centaurs, I’d point you towards Mustang Suzy from 1992’s Hawkworld #28, who is unsubtle in a way that made even THIS gay guy remember her over thirty years later. She can’t transform, as far as I know, just… is motorcycle from the waist down, and apparently mostly metallic from the waist up.
I think the inherent drawback to that variation is that, whenever you parked yourself, you’d either have to go to all the trouble of sorting out a kickstand, or just accepting that you’re going to fall over on your side a lot, and won’t be able to get up.
Apropos of very little, the minotaur variation which freaked me out most though is the Manotaur from Milestone’s “Xombi”. He’s human from the waist up, and from the waist down is a giant hand, so he can scuttle around sort of spider-like on his giant extra fingers. His being Hispanic also explains both the pun in his name, and why his given name was “Manuel Dexterity”.
One would think that someone would have developed an image inducer without the option to vary the projections, to prevent adorable moppet antics, otherwise, yeah, that situation is entirely on Emma.
Once again I am grateful that my time in school was before the concept of the “Prom” had migrated over the Atlantic (beyond being a feature of romcoms and horror movies). We had a Christmas disco, which was entirely lacking in anything remotely thematic beyond “Adolescent Social Awkwardness” (which, to be fair, we EXCELLED at). In more recent years I’ve watched coworkers negotiate the complex world of their children’s Proms (With car rentals etc), but the near/actual-excesses seem to have more or less died a death over here now.
As far as the Rising Sons go, they do feel strong candidate for The Official Handbook of the Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe on the House to Astonish Podcast.
Also, I’m wondering if Emma would rock Nagai-Locks – which would be the femme equivalent of Nagai-Burns
Please start a New Warriors side podcast. I would love to reread that Nicieza run with someone. Smart, angsty and ahead of its time politically. Also great art and fun. Still sad how much Civil War derailed the characters.