Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Month: May 2021

HAWK TALK – Wizards

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This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about wizards.

Topics, roughly:

  • Fantasy wizards
  • Space wizards
  • Beards and wizards and gender
  • Vancian spellcasting
  • Wizard taxonomy
  • The Baal Shem
  • Book learnin’
  • Towers and Discworld wizards
  • Dragonlance wizards
  • Tolkien wizards
  • Iceman with a wizard beard
  • Which animals make the best wizards
  • Magic: the Gathering
  • Our wizardy D&D characters

As Mentioned in Episode 334 – Genetic Nonsense

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And you thought the brimstone dimension was rough… (Generation X #12)
Damnit, Emma. (Generation X #12)
Vincente! (Generation X #12)
And you thought your last time running into an ex went badly. (Generation X #12)
Miles likes this cover a lot more than Jay does. (Generation X #13)
Seriously, what IS that stuff? Masking tape?
I feel ya, Emplate. (Generation X #13)
IT WOULD BE BAD ENOUGH IF HIS GERMAN WERE CORRECT (Generation X #13)
I know it’s not supposed to be funny, but it’s extremely funny. (Generation X #13)
Throwing in one more panel of the arguing heads, just for the hell of it. (Generation X #13)
The dialogue only makes the coloring error more ironic. (Generation X #13)
Hi, Bishop! (Generation X #13)
Because you seemed likely to demand it… (Generation X #14)
That’s… kind of lackluster, honestly. (Generation X #14)
Murmur! (Generation X #14)
Emplate just looks confused as hell by the entire concept of fireworks. (Generation X #14)
NEXT EPISODE: ClanDestine!

334 – Genetic Nonsense

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In which William Stryker is exceptionally difficult to kill; the terminology around Emplate’s powers is absolute nonsense even by comic-book standards; inkers deserve more credit; we would totally read comics about Murmur the Softpoken Mummy; Bishop comes to the rescue; and nothing really resolves.

X-PLAINED:

  • What happened to William Stryker
  • Gratuitous use of the adjective “genetic”
  • Emplate (again)
  • Generation X #12-14
  • Inks
  • Penance’s original backstory
  • Pining
  • A really unpleasant reunion
  • Accent problems
  • Gayle Edgerton
  • Vincente
  • Bulwark
  • D.O.A.
  • A somewhat chaotic victory
  • Mutant teams from non-anglophone countries
  • X-characters Miles would like to write

NEXT WEEK: HAWK TALK

NEXT EPISODE: ClanDestine!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 333 – Fight Train

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I’d like to think he leaves her office like this afterwards. (Uncanny X-Men #331)
Just another Thursday on the PATH… (X-Men #51)
TFW you run into your boss outside of work and they make it weird. (X-Men #51)
…Somehow. (X-Men #52)
Remember that name; you’ll be sneering it later. (X-Men #52)
I wasn’t kidding when I said that Sinister kidnapped Bishop to find out if his ships were canon. (X-Men #52)
NEXT EPISODE: Emplate sucks!

333 – Fight Train

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Miles discovers owl legs; Iceman dwells in subtext; Dark Beast overperforms; Daredevil is a delightful trash fire of a person; Graydon Creed’s presidential run is somewhat less shocking in 2021; Rogue does not enjoy playing ‘Got your nose’; and Mister Sinister is not a friend to public transportation.

X-PLAINED:

  • Post-Decimation resurrections
  • Owl legs
  • Uncanny X-Men #331
  • X-Men #51-52
  • Iceman’s complicated personal life
  • Casual crossovers
  • The facial hair of Warren Kenneth Worthington III
  • The terrible decisions of Matt Murdock
  • How to subtly test your in-laws for mutant powers
  • What Mister Sinister sounds like
  • A bad plan
  • The debut of Bastion
  • DNA
  • Foreshadowing

NEXT EPISODE: Emplate Sucks

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 332 – Gideon Falls

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Domino is extremely dedicated to her stretching routine, I guess? (X-Force #52)
Not someone you want to fight. (X-Force #52)
I like to think he fell straight out of a board meeting in that outfit. (X-Force #52)
Um, I think you mean “Crule Rules!” (X-Force #53)
YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN ABOUT THAT CIRCULAR MOTIF? (X-Force #53)
None of these are Keyser Soze. (X-Force #54)
She’s evil, yeah; but she’s very good at swooping. (X-Force #54)
The coolest guy in junior high. (X-Force #54)
OH NO (X-Force #54)
NEXT EPISODE: Just the usual Wednesday on the PATH.

332 – Gideon Falls

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Swimsuit Catalog is not an actual style of martial arts; Onslaught dabbles in vandalism; Crule is a special guy; we identify briefly with X-Force; and Charles Xavier is the Keyser Soze of Onslaught.

X-PLAINED:

  • Externals on Krakoa
  • Relative levels of violence in X-books
  • X-Force #52-54
  • Camp Hayden, KY
  • Onslaught-facilitated power-ups
  • Gideon (again)
  • At least one apparent death
  • How it feels to be us
  • Businesswear
  • Whether Cannonball is an external
  • Nazis in the Captain Britain Corps
  • Doop

NEXT EPISODE: Sinister vs. Public Transit

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

HAWK TALK – Hack the Planet

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This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, in honor of the 1995 film’s 1337-week anniversary, we talked about the finest movie about technology ever made, Hackers.

Topics, roughly:

  • Hackers
  • Mister The Plague
  • What David Bowie and Angelina Jolie have in common
  • Razor & Blade
  • The glory of Matthew Lillard
  • Counterculture
  • Queer (sub)text
  • Focal characters
  • Jay’s sequel pitch

In retrospect, we should have talked way more about Phreak, played amazingly by Renoly Santiago. Sorry, Renoly! That’s what we get for doing Hawk Talk without our usual outlines.