Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Month: November 2020

HAWK TALK – Surviving the (Holiday) Experience

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This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about holidays, winter and otherwise.

Topics, roughly:

  • Time, which used to make sense
  • Several holidays and feelings, media, and traditions related thereto
  • Flash Gordon
  • Mixed-faith families
  • A New York Christmas Wedding (the lesbian time travel gay dead baby angel movie)
  • Gingerbread
  • Secular rituals
  • Night in the Woods: Lost Constellation
  • The Dark is Rising (again)
  • The Spirit of Christmas (which is to say, exploding)
  • J. Michael Strazynski’s The Real Ghostbusters
  • Community‘s first three holiday specials
  • Justice League: Comfort & Joy
  • Passover and that time Moses gave Pharaoh a frog
  • Passover and Miles trying very hard to play it cool
  • Chocolate bunny funerals
  • Easter basket comics
  • Being excellent to each other and partying on

Links and further reading:

As Mentioned in Episode 315 – Theater Is Dead

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
That Wolverine shadow looming over the title has a serious Maurice Sendak vibe. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #1)
I know the whole point is for the shadow to be menacing, but how funny would it be if Wolverine were just freakin’ huge in this series, for no reason? (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #1)
Don’t smoke in the Danger Room, Gambit. It’s not supposed to be THAT kind of danger! (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #1)
This is a good version of Gambit; I will give the series and Sale that much. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #1)
I dunno; the exploding cards might make that difficult. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #1)
SEE WHAT I MEAN?! (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #2)
Viper called; she wants to know what you did with her entire look. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #2)
YES, LOGAN, IT MATTERS VERY MUCH. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #2)
Well, then. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #2)
I’m pretty sure the subtext here is that Gambit’s gonna do a sex with that painting. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #3)
The end. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #3)
X-Men ’92 did it better. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #4)
Mastermind X-Plains the plot. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #4)
Dudes, man. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #4)
That’s certainly one take on Sarte. (Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #4)
NEXT EPISODE: Hawk Talk!

LINKS & FURTHER CRIMES:

315 – Theater Is Dead

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jay and/or patriarchy ruin everything; Archangel is dubiously aspirational; we need a moratorium on Jack the Ripper stories; there are a lot of Masterminds; and Arcade is a whole bundle of psychosexual weirdness.

X-PLAINED:

  • Tom Malverne (Jack the Ripper)
  • Lunch
  • Wolverine and Gambit: Victims #1-4
  • Loeb & Sale
  • Jack the Ripper in fiction
  • Alexandra Davies
  • Fun on international flights
  • That one time Jay thought the NSA was going to come for him
  • Martinique Wyngarde (Mastermind II)
  • Mastermind, Mastermind, and Lady Mastermind disambiguation
  • Collateral damage
  • Various Dies Hard
  • Several heists
  • Several hallucinations
  • Variations on the death of Miss Locke
  • Problematic third brothers

NEXT EPISODE: Hawk Talk!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 314 – Feelings, Alaska

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Of course, that’s also exactly what a hologram would say. (X-Factor #115)
WHY DOES FORGE HAVE ALL THIS STUFF SAVED IN HIS HOLODECK? (X-Factor #115)
I’m putting all three pages of this flashback in the visual companion, because, while this scene has been shown roughly a zillion times, this one is the gold standard. (X-Factor #115)
This scene is ALSO a pretty good thumbnail guide to how to write Alex Summers and why. (X-Factor #115)
And that’s that, folks! (X-Factor #115)
“I mean, why do YOU come to Alaska? (X-Factor #115)
HECK YEAH (X-Factor #115)
THESE DORKS I LOVE THEM (X-Factor #115)
*wipes away a single tear* (X-Factor #115)
MILES WAS RIGHT. I stand corrected. -J (X-Factor #116)
Shard is cool, but she’d be cooler if she weren’t a cop. (X-Factor #116)
WHAT?! Superheroes trying to TALK through a misunderstanding? Surely Alpha Flight will jump straight to the punching, at least. (X-Factor #116)
…NOPE. (X-Factor #116)
Uncalled for, Roma. (X-Factor #117)
Seriously, don’t sic a sentinel on your team *because you’re not sure one of its members can adequately control his powers.* (X-Factor #117)
I’m pretty sure Random mostly wants a Jolt Cola(TM) and a Sega CD. (X-Factor #117)
…THEY FIGHT CRIME! (X-Factor #118)
Seriously, Random, nobody cares. (X-Factor #118)
Ah, yes, the flaming chasms of… somewhere. (X-Factor #118)
Well, that’s Random. (X-Factor #118)
NEXT EPISODE: Gambit & Wolverine!

LINKS & FURTHER MISUNDERSTANDINGS:

 

314 – Feelings, Alaska

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Haven deserved better; Cyclops and Havok have a lot of feelings in Alaska; X-Factor is the cop team; breaking up with your girlfriend between issues is a massive faux pas; Haven got a bad deal; no one cares about Random’s feelings; Spiral is weird Twitter; and Alex Summers once again fails to finish his dissertation.

X-PLAINED:

  • Chaos (Daniel Dash)
  • Pie
  • Power suits vs. power suits
  • X-Factor #115-118
  • Haven (more) (again)
  • The Adversary (more) (again)
  • Naze (more) (again)
  • Several people who may or may not be holograms
  • One of Jay’s all-time-favorite single issues
  • Howard Mackie
  • Wally Wood’s 22 Panels
  • The Summers Family plane crash
  • Cyclops and Havok’s relationship
  • Havok’s Silver Age origins
  • Trans readings of Alex Summers
  • Shard (more) (again)
  • Canadian drama
  • A trap
  • The return of Random
  • Roma (again)
  • Mojoworlders on social media
  • Which X-teens should be audience surrogates in a new animated series

NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine & Gambit!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 313 – Iguanafall

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Not even close, but go on. (Storm #1)
Spoiler: no. (Storm #1)
That is some weird-ass product placement. (Storm #1)
This is the worst panel. I hate it and everything it stands for. (Storm #1)
SERIOUSLY LOOK AT THOSE TEETH THIS IS NOT OKAY (Storm #1)
You’d think that context might salvage it. You would be wrong. (Storm #1)
The best character in this miniseries. (Storm #2)
Coooool. (Storm #2)
Misdirection or mistake? YOU BE THE JUDGE! (Storm #1)
I guess this counts as a malicious pose, but I feel like its main victims are her spine and ribcage. (Storm #2)
Hi, Callisto! Bye, Callisto! (Storm #2)
I refuse to accept this as “Daddy.” (Storm #2)
ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew (Storm #3)
Yeah, I don’t quite get it, either. (Storm #3)
“And I TRIPLE-DARE YOU!” (Storm #4)
Somewhere in the multiverse, there’s a timeline where Aidan Quinn was cast as Cable, and I want to go there. (Storm #4)
THIS IS NOT A GOOD WAY TO DISPOSE OF A BOMB WHOSE CONTENTS YOU DO NOT KNOW. (Storm #4)
Damn, Storm. Harsh. (Storm #4)
SURE WHY NOT LET’S JUST GO WITH THAT (Storm #4)
Really? You’re going to end your miniseries HERE? (Storm #4)
NEXT EPISODE: Jay has a lot of feelings about this issue of X-Factor

LINKS & FURTHER REPTILES:

313 – Iguanafall

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which sky pirates are the best pirates; Wolverine eats chicken in the woods; Xavier’s area loses its status as our least favorite panel; Cable is suspiciously credulous; we search in vain for a consistent metaphor; Storm has a thing or two to learn about restorative justice; and this entire miniseries should probably just have been an annual.

X-PLAINED:

  • Storm’s pirate adventures
  • Storm #1-4
  • Mark Trail
  • The Morlocks (more) (again)
  • Unacceptable gradients
  • Butt murder
  • Fashion
  • Several memes of yesteryear
  • Product placement
  • The new Worst Panel
  • Several variations on the Ceremony of Light
  • How not to identify a body
  • The Hill (Limbo)
  • “Daddy”
  • The inconsistent portrayals of Mikhail Rasputin
  • Still more members of Gene Nation
  • A new costume
  • The most obscure stories we’ve covered
  • That time Wolverine at his own arm

NEXT EPISODE: Jay’s favorite issue of X-Factor (and some others)!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!