Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Month: August 2017

As Mentioned in Episode 161 – Do You Even Howl, Bro?

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
FlameCon Saturday: ABD Squad! (Yes, Tea’s shirt says what you think it does. Yes, Jay’s hands light up. Yes, we think we’re funny.)
FlameCon Party: Billy and Teddy from Young Avengers #15
FlameCon Sunday: Mod Silver Age Emma and Scott.
Excalibur #32
Not unprecedented, until you realize that the whole thing is a fantasy Margaret Thatcher is having in therapy. (Excalibur #32)
YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?! (Excalibur #32)
Don’t mess with Kitty’s crushes. She’ll cut you. (Excalibur #32)
That is PERFECTLY RESPECTABLE penmanship, thank you very much. (Excalibur #32)
Welcome to St. Subtext’s School for Young Ladies. (Excalibur #32)
(Excalibur #33)
“Also, I’m a superhero.” (Excalibur #33)
(Excalibur #34)
“But you can call me… MR. RAD!” (Excalibur #34)
Let the hijinks commence! (Excalibur #34)
Well, that could’a gone worse. (Excalibur #34)
‘Kay. (Excalibur #34)
Seriously, if I had a dollar for every time I’d woken up like this… (Excalibur #32)
TOO SOON, MESMERO. (Excalibur #33)
Do those abs go all the way… wait, no, that doesn’t even make sense. (Excalibur #33)
But if he can hypnotize her just by making eye contact, why bother doing this? Just to mess with her for fun? Total dick move.(Excalibur #33)
[Ron Howard voice]: There were mistakes. (Excalibur #33)
Oh, great. These assholes, again. (Excalibur #34)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Excalibur #34)
GOOD JOB, EVERYBODY! (Excalibur #34)
Trust me, they’re delightful together. (Excalibur #35)
Well, that escalated quickly. (Excalibur #35)
Aw, kiddo. (Excalibur #35)
Right. That guy. (Excalibur #35)
“But not the one from Alaska. The indefinite article.” (Excalibur #35)
And they all lived grumpily ever after. (Excalibur #35)
Our hero! (Excalibur #36)
It’s a nuanced issue, okay? (Excalibur #36)
This is why we can’t have nice… uncontrolled nuclear things? (Excalibur #36)
Best fight dialogue? Best fight dialogue. And check out that word-balloon cut! (Excalibur #36)
We certainly did not see that coming. (Excalibur #36)
And it DIDN’T ONCE OCCUR TO YOU that this might end badly? (Excalibur #36)
I have no idea what the moral of this story is, but it’s sort of heartwarming anyway. (Excalibur #36)
NEXT EPISODE: The angriest naked man!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

161 – Do You Even Howl, Bro?

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we return to Excalibur, and Excalibur returns to form; “Girls’ School from Heck” is way better than we remembered; Jay has strong feelings about penmanship; we examine the semantics of field hockey; the band gets back together; Dai Thomas has no time for your comic-book bullshit; and you should never, ever install a good/evil switch in your technological abominations.

X-PLAINED

  • The first appearances of Colonel Vazhin
  • Perks of home recording
  • FlameCon 2017
  • Jay & Miles at Rose City Comic Con
  • Excalibur #32-36
  • “Girls’ School from Heck!”
  • St. Searle’s School for Young Ladies
  • St. Trinian’s and a large number of references thereto
  • Regional variations in boarding school hijinks
  • Miss Rutherford
  • A poorly staged panel
  • Phoebe Huntsman
  • Kitty Pryde’s penmanship
  • Margaret Thatcher’s weirdly wholesome fantasies
  • The kinda-reformation of Mesmero
  • The end of Chris Claremont’s run on Excalibur
  • Some complicated contradictions related to the ethics of consumption
  • An abduction
  • The ethics of psychic interrogation (kinda)
  • Mariner disambiguation
  • A rescue
  • An unlikely partnership
  • Darkmoor Research Center
  • Dr. Walshe
  • A somewhat convoluted plot
  • Whether the Danger Room could function as a bathroom
  • The physics of Asteroid M

NEXT EPISODE: Weapon X!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Special thanks to Gavia Baker-Whitelaw for helping us assemble the St. Searle’s marginalia!

X-TRA – FlameCon 2017 Sofa Special, feat. Sina Grace, James Tynion IV, and Niki Johnson

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Thanks again to James and Sam for letting us use their hotel room for this ridiculousness!

WHAT?! Less than a month back, and it’s a brand new mid-week bonus episode!

In which Jay, Niki, Sina, and James drink fancy Scotch and talk FlameCon; what X-Men means to us as queer readers and writers; the difference between the bat family and the X-Men; mutant metaphors; favorite ‘ships; and more!

GUESTS:

This episode comes courtesy of our rad Patreon subscribers. If you want to join their ranks and help keep us on the air and ad-free–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

As Mentioned in Episode 160 – Hank McCoy and the Hickey of Destiny

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Rowr. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
Beast goes hardboiled. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
“Join me on the windowsill, that we may exchange portentous but vague endearments.” (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
This seems like it’s going to be a really big deal, but it’s not. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
Eldritch horrors, amirite? (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
One of the coolest things about the art in Prisoner of Love is how well Guice makes not-actually-supernatural things look really eerie. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
Well, that can’t be good. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
This page is kinda Prisoner of Love in a nutshell: the symbolism is basically illusory, but it’s so stylish that I don’t really care. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
THAT OUTFIT, THO. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
“This would be so much cooler if one of us could turn into a bear.” (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
That’s rough, buddy. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
Well, then. (X-Factor: Prisoner of Love)
AND NOW, CYBURAI! (X-Factor #63)
That window looks super technoorganic, though, right? (X-Factor #63)
NICELY DONE, BOBBY. (X-Factor #63)
“We’ll go rescue your girlfriend in a sec, but first check out our rad new costumes!” (X-Factor #63)
The Cyburai.
Nah, sorry, these are the actual Cyburai. Still definitely a boy band, though. (X-Factor #63)
Spoiler: Optimus Prime dies. (X-Factor #64)
Cheer up, emu kid. (X-Factor #64)
Possibly the most awkward ending image ever. (X-Factor #64)
NEXT EPISODE: Kitty Pryde enrolls at St. Subtext’s Academy for Young Ladies.

LINKS & FURTHER READING

160 – Hank McCoy and the Hickey of Destiny

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the ladies love Hank McCoy; feelings are terrible; wereStarlins stalk the night; Stan Lee is definitely trying to sell you a car; Iceman has a lot to prove; we bid a reluctant farewell to Louise Simonson’s tenure on X-Factor; and yes, video reviews will be back eventually.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Intelligentsia
  • Jay & Miles at Rose City Comic Con and New York Comic Con
  • Prestige Format comics
  • X-Factor: Prisoner of Love
  • X-Factor #63-64
  • A possible cameo
  • Synthia Naip
  • Several ways to identify individuals from outer space
  • Visual conceits of supernatural noir
  • A deeply unhealthy relationship
  • The mysterious wereStarlin
  • The hickey of destiny
  • Whether Starfox would fuck a crystal
  • Cyburai and/or cyberpunks
  • What makes for good team costumes
  • Post-Iceman cleanup
  • The secret origins of Opal Tanaka
  • Tatsu’o
  • Hiro
  • The Gal Pal Squad
  • Assorted macho bullshit
  • The end of Louise Simonson’s involvement with the central X-line
  • Where to find Dr. Nemesis
  • Magneto’s D&D alignment
  • Whether and when video reviews will return

NEXT EPISODE: Girls’ School from Heck!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 159 – Childhood’s End

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
The face of an almost-ten-year-old Miles with no idea what’s on the horizon.
New Mutants #98
That smirk, though. (New Mutants #98)
The weirdly protracted death of Emmanuel da Costa. (New Mutants #98)
Yeah, there’s no way this dude’s coming back. (New Mutants #98)
Somewhere, Dean Pelton is having feelings. (New Mutants #98)
One of many, many homages to the cover of X-Men #138. (New Mutants #99)
LIEFELD KICK! (New Mutants #99)
“I’ve been busy TRAINING MY HAIR TO SWIRL DRAMATICALLY ON CUE.” (New Mutants #99)
New Mutants: the ballet! (New Mutants #99)
Cable, that’s really not how pants–you know what? Never mind. (New Mutants #99)
This goddamn panel. (New Mutants #99)
Oh, man. Right in the feels. (New Mutants #99)
Just spitballing here, but is it maybe because… it’s the final issue? (New Mutants #99)
The end of an era. (New Mutants #100)
You’re not wrong, Cable. (New Mutants #100)
You know you wanna cosplay it. (New Mutants #100)
Feral’s a fun kid, isn’t she? (New Mutants #100)
On one hand: this is a mess. On the other hand: it’s also pretty awesome. The Liefeld conundrum. (New Mutants #100)
That’s not how swords… I mean… damnit. (New Mutants #100)
CABLE, YOU PUT THOSE EXTRA TEETH RIGHT BACK WHERE YOU FOUND THEM. (New Mutants #100)
Okay, that’s a really fun last page. (New Mutants #100)
Next Episode: Beast has a sexistential crisis!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

159 – Childhood’s End

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***NOTE: We’re aware of the audio issues in this episode. We’re still troubleshooting our cross-country setup. Thank you for your patience!***

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Stryfe is the Jan Brady of the Summers family; Miles’s dreams are trampled beneath tiny, delicate feet; Rictor goes on an unnecessary rescue mission; Cable is Washington to Cannonball’s Hamilton; the New Mutants may or may not time travel; Boom Boom scarfs up some chow for the bohunk; you should definitely not mess with Feral’s pigeons; Liefeld fights are pure rule-of-cool; Jay is absolutely not qualified to give legal advice; and we bid a bittersweet goodbye to New Mutants.

X-PLAINED:

  • Zero
  • Production transitions
  • The end of New Mutants
  • New Mutants #98-100
  • Plotting vs. scripting
  • The most valuable issue of New Mutants
  • Gideon
  • Liefeld butts (more) (again)
  • The very dramatic death of Emmanuel da Costa
  • Tolliver
  • Some Spider-Man looking jerk
  • Domino (Neena Thurman)
  • A specific and likely inaccurate timeline
  • Feral (Maria Callasantos)
  • The signature Liefeld Kick™
  • The Tavern on the Green
  • Five or six kinds of mutants
  • A sad goodbye
  • Shatterstar (Gaveedra Seven)
  • Cadre Alliance
  • Nesting habits of the urban bohunk
  • Some rad moves
  • A prologue that is also an epilogue
  • The Stryfe that might have been
  • How Logan fits into the X-Men movie timeline
  • X-Men mostly likely to watch Yuri!!! On Ice
  • Jay at FlameCon!!

NEXT EPISODE: Beast has a sexistential crisis!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 158 – No Focus, Less Direction

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Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
“Oh, like THAT’s a big deal or something.” (Uncanny X-Men #273)
That’s a lot of X-Men. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
Bobby, you incorrigible scamp! Way to EXPLODE THE PIPES IN THE SOLE BATHROOM SHARED BY EIGHTEEN PEOPLE. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
The original creative teams will be played by Storm in this panel. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
Awk-ward. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
Telekinetics don’t need shower curtains. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
We unironically adore this ridiculous pair of panels. (Uncanny X-Men #273)
This is a lot creepier if you remember that the Shadow King took over Jean permanently in one of the earths Excalibur visited… (Uncanny X-Men #273)
Meanwhile, in the sexy, sexy Savage Land… (Uncanny X-Men #274)
Between the art and the cascade of dramatic Magneto captions, this splash kinda encapsulates the whole arc. (Uncanny X-Men #274)
Whoa. (Uncanny X-Men #274)
To be fair, that was always a really iffy battle tactic. (Uncanny X-Men #274)
“Also, am I imagining the sudden switch to romance comic framing?” (Uncanny X-Men #274)
No one gets dressed more dramatically than Magneto. (Uncanny X-Men #274)
Zaladane: boring as hell, but damn does she know how to dress! (Uncanny X-Men #274)
That’s prudent, I suppose, for a certain value of the term. (Uncanny X-Men #274)
Please note that:
A) Ka-Zar is calling Rogue “Red” despite the fact that her hair is clearly brown.
B) A mostly-naked man and his tiger buddy are clearly not REMOTELY the weirdest things those S.H.I.E.L.D. troops have shared a transport with.
(Uncanny X-Men #275)
It sure is 1991. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Every goddamn time. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Where’s an editorial footnote when you actually need one? (Oh, fine, I’ll do it: See Classic X-Men #12 and #19, respectively! -Jaded Jay) (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Well, that’s convenient timing! (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Murder is negotiable, but frontal nudity? NEVER. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
NEXT WEEK: The end of New Mutants!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING
 

158 – No Focus, Less Direction

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

 

In which we return triumphant from hiatus; it’s still always Inferno in here; no one should ever under any circumstances date Cameron Hodge; Kenneth is a fundamentally hilarious name; Magneto’s family gets retconned to death; Pterosaurs are still the absolute worst; and Magik totally deserves a sidekick.

X-PLAINED:

  • Ka-Zar’s real name
  • Shanna the She-Devil
  • Our new production set-up
  • What we did on our summer vacations
  • Previously on X-Men
  • Further limits of the mutant metaphor
  • Uncanny X-Men #273-275
  • A crisis of leadership
  • A comic that is a metaphor that is also a comic
  • Cable’s OkCupid profile
  • Changing creative dynamics on the X-line
  • Archangel’s middle name
  • Gambit vs. Wolverine
  • Censorship Steam
  • The protean X-bathroom
  • Magneto’s retconned family
  • Colonel Semyanov
  • A perhaps ill-conceived team-up
  • The Self-Styled Mistress of Magnetism
  • Some remarkably lucky timing
  • The semantics of heel turns
  • Gender and sidekicks
  • Mr. Sinister’s powers

NEXT EPISODE: The end of New Mutants!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)