August 2016 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 123 – Mojo Mayhem

August 30, 2016 Jay 6 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

Oh, my. (Marvel Comics Presents #31)

The one significant drawback to Marvel Style is that sometimes the dialogue seems to be chasing after runaway art. (Marvel Comics Presents #36)

I would read this book. I would read this book SO HARD. (Marvel Comics Presents #37)

And that’s all, folks! (Marvel Comics Presents #38)

Now, THAT’S how you do an opening splash page. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

Heh. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

Aw, man. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

Minor Domo is delightful. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

Hell, this WHOLE STORY is delightful. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

Cats Laughing! (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

Welcome to your new anxiety dream. Hope you survive the experience! (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

What’s really amazing is that this isn’t remotely her worst costume. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

The Agent is a pretty silly concept, but in practice, he’s a genuinely scary villain. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

That time Kitty Pryde and the X-Babies stole Chris Claremont’s car. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

I really love this bit–it’s a very clever move on Kitty’s part and sets up a wedding-crashing brawl, which is always a visual treat. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

I’m usually a stickler for “their powers don’t usually work that way” complaints; but a) Kitty’s powers have been blinky lately anyway; and b) rule of cool. (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

NEXT EPISODE: Death in the Outback.

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

Come see us at Rose City Comic Con, September 10-11!
For the best use of Mojo in any medium, check out the animated series episode “Mojovision.”
Animal Man #5, “The Coyote Gospel,” will forever change your relationship to Looney Toons.

123 – Mojo Mayhem

August 29, 2016 Jay 25 comments

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In which Jay and Miles return to Rose City Comic Con; “Having a Wild Weekend” is the mash-up t-shirt of Excalibur stories; swears are for everyone; Arcade is not a subtle villain; we love Art Adams a lot; Minor-Domo is the Harvey and/or Janet of the Mojoverse; Kitty gets another new costume; and the X-Babies carjack their creators.

X-PLAINED:

The Agent
Jay and Miles at Rose City Comic Con 2016
What Excalibur has instead of annuals
Competing theories of Eriks Larsen
“Having a Wild Weekend” (Marvel Comics Presents #31-38)
The Community reference that keeps on giving
How to fight on the Internet without being a dick
A large number of thinly veiled TV references
The X-Babies
Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem
Ricochet Rita (again)
Psychonauts
Exploding children (more) (again)
The House of Ideas
The New Universe
Major Domo
Minor Domo
Jay’s dream vacation
Cats Laughing (more) (again)
Cosplay you should totally do
Why you should always read the EULA
The classic X-Men spirit
Some of our favorite cameos
The return of Judith Rassendyll
One fairly specific way to ruin a wedding
Where to find Havok in comics
X-Men we’d like to see as wizards

NEXT EPISODE: Death in the Outback

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Choose Our Adventure – Evolution Edition!

August 26, 2016 Jay 20 comments

On September 4, we’ll be sitting down to record our 2016 Giant-Size Summer Special and second-ever tabletop episode.

In 2015, game writer and designer and friend of the podcast Logan Bonner has modified the amazing old Marvel Super Hero Adventures game to be played as it was never intended: in the spirit of the 90s animated series! This year, he’s joining us again–this time with an adventure set in the world of X-Men: Evolution!

In addition to Logan, we’ll be joined at the gaming table by two guests: returning X-Pert Max Carleton of Waiting for the Trade and I Love Television; and writer, developer, and all-around badass Crystal Frasier!

But first, we’ve got a job for you…

Jay Recaps X-Men: Evolution
S1E10: Shadowed Past

August 26, 2016 Jay 15 comments

Ever heard of something called “The Draco”?

No, not the blonde guy from Harry Potter. The “Draco” I’m talking about is an Uncanny X-Men arc where Chuck Austen retconned Nightcrawler’s origin story to involve a father from an ancient race of demon-looking mutants long exiled to a hell dimension by a bunch of quasi-angelic counterparts.¹

The Draco is one of the worst arcs of Austen’s already fairly shaky² run; and generally considered to be one of the worst X-Men stories ever. It’s the continuity equivalent of awkward makeouts at your company Christmas party: everyone does their best to politely pretend that it never happened, and if anyone brings it up, everyone familiar with the story gets acutely embarrassed by proxy.

I am telling you about The Draco not because it has any relevance whatsoever to X-Men: Evolution–it doesn’t–but so that you will understand where the bar sits when I tell you that “Shadowed Past” is my least favorite take on Nightcrawler’s origin story.

As Mentioned in Episode 122 – Boom Boom von Doom and the Ontology of Monsters

August 25, 2016 Miles 3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

“Hey, let’s play Final Fantasy! You bring the drama and I’ll bring the fetch quest!” (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)

Imagine a world where Boomslang showed up in Giant-Size X-Men #1 instead of Wolverine. IMAGINE IT. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)

“Brightly-colored pureed veggies – my only weakness!” (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)

This is the happiest Longshot will ever be. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)

Namorita’s pretty awesome, but… why would you wear that underwater? (New Mutants Annual #5)

Please note Undertow’s tastefully covered nipples. He’s a gentleman. (New Mutants Annual #5)

I believe the sound effect you’re looking for is TOOT, Ghaur. Are you even trying? (New Mutants Annual #5)

I’ll give you this, Rob: you draw a pretty awesome weird-Fizzgig-monster-thing. (New Mutants Annual #5)

In which John Byrne’s writing and art are two great tastes that taste great together. (X-Factor Annual #4)

Come on, Attuma – didn’t you read Avengers #263 and Fantastic Four #286? (X-Factor Annual #4)

“No time to process your deep-seated trauma at watching half your friends die – time to punch my dad!” (X-Factor Annual #4)

FUCK YEAH JEAN GREY (X-Factor Annual #4)

I mean, there’s really no subtlety here. It’s just straight-up the Blues Brothers. (X-Factor Annual #4)

Hey, it’s that guy! (X-Factor Annual #4)

I mean, this panel is fine, but it mainly makes me miss Marc Silvestri. (X-Factor Annual #4)

Watch out for Magneto’s brain-hat! (X-Factor Annual #4)

And also watch out for Doom’s brain-face! (X-Factor Annual #4)

Magneto’s backstory: more tragedy than any three Lifetime movies. (Seriously, though – poor guy.) (X-Factor Annual #4)

Everything about Boom Boom and Rictor’s body language is perfect. Jon Bogdanove, please draw both of them forever. (New Mutants Annual #5)

Tabitha Smith, living cartoon. (New Mutants Annual #5)

No caption can add to the perfection that is this sequence. (New Mutants Annual #5)

Do you know how many coats it takes to get adamantium to hold color? (New Mutants Annual #5)

This narration? Yeah, the entire story’s like this. And it is PERFECT. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)

Amid all the motormouth bluster, Jubilee basically just wants friends. Aww, kid. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)

The origin of both the best costume parts Jubilee didn’t keep and the best part she did. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #13)

Next time: the X-Babies! (Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem)

122 – Boom Boom Von Doom and the Ontology of Monsters

August 22, 2016 Jay 78 comments

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In which the back-up stories of Atlantis Attacks are way better than the main event; the Serpent Society is hilarious; Longshot finds a rock; the S.U.R.F.E.R.S. are no Neutrinos; our volume of digressions is inversely proportional to our investment in this crossover; Jay overthinks sunglasses; and somehow we still aren’t entirely done with Inferno.

X-PLAINED:

Leonard McKenzie
Princess Fen
Tiger Shark
A dubious crossover event and three splendid backup stories
The best thing in Marvel Puzzle Quest
Skateman
Atlantis Attacks
Uncanny X-Men Annual #13
New Mutants Annual #5
X-Factor Annual #4
Ghaur
Llyra
Homo mermanus
The Serpent Society
Boomslang
Why snakes don’t wear vests
The Maple Hill Farm books
The Horn of Doom (again)
Namorita
Impractical swimwear
Surf, or S.U.R.F.E.R.S., or whoever the hell they are
Zak and the Neutrinos
The trouble with mobile landmarks
A case of mistaken identity
The true meaning of something, probably
Ralph Macchio, but not that Ralph Macchio
Circumstances in which it is acceptable to throw a small child down an elevator shaft
The definitive Boom Boom
Eligible gentlemen of the Marvel Universe
Boom Boom Von Doom
A false dichotomy
Sally Pashkow
A really great outfit
Presidencies rated by X-Books
Best and worst moral inversions

NEXT WEEK: Mojo Mayhem!

ART CHALLENGE: Send your best Boom Boom romance stories, covers, and pin-ups to xplainthexmen(at)gmail.com by SEPTEMBER 15, with the subject line BOOM BOOM RULES.

NOTE: In this episode, Jay briefly confused two Marvel villain teams: the Serpent Society (snake-themed villains); and the Sons of the Serpent, also known as the Serpent Men (hate group). We would like to offer our apologies to the Serpent Society, who are ridiculous but not, as far as we know, racist.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Jay & Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 96

August 18, 2016 Jay 11 comments

Weeks of 8/10/2016 and 8/17/2016:

In which we make a vaguely triumphant return, review two weeks’ worth of books, and have a lot of feelings about fictional teenagers.

REVIEWED:

*All-New X-Men #12 (00:53)
Old Man Logan #10 (06:41)
All-New Wolverine #11 (10:29)
Civil War II: X-Men #3 (13:51)

*Pick of the Fortnight (18:23)

Come see us at Rose City Comic Con!

Filmed at Books With Pictures in Portland, OR.

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. These video reviews–and everything else here–are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Come join us on Imzy!

Buy stuff at the shop!

121 – Two Sides of a Narcissistic Coin (feat. Ben Acker)

August 14, 2016 Jay 31 comments

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In which Jay may or may not have sold their voice to a sea witch; Gambit and Deadpool are somewhat lackadaisical superheroes; everything Fat Cobra does is amazing; Miles is a prepared gentleman; Gambit is there to look pretty and throw something; and there is now a Ben Acker vocaloid hovering around the studio.

X-PLAINED:

Acker & Blacker
Thrilling Adventure Hour
X-Men #214, but not the real one
Deadpool v. Gambit
As-needed approach to continuity
The ontology of Deadpool
The time the Absorbing Man turned into cocaine
Wolverine Season One
What makes Gambit creepy
The roadtrip miniseries you didn’t know you needed
A theoretical poker game and its theoretical outcome

NEXT EPISODE: Atlantis Attacks!

There is no visual companion to this episode! Go read Deadpool v. Gambit! It’s great!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Contact David Wynne to inquire after the original of this week’s illustration.

What I Did on My Summer Vacation, by Jay (Age 33)

August 12, 2016 Jay 7 comments

The closest approximation of Havok’s powers in the standard emoji set is concentric hearts.

I discovered this a few months back, texting with the amazing Tea Fougner. “It kind of fits,” I remember typing. “I mean, the movie version has very Care Bear powers.”

There followed a Step 3, with a series of question marks; but by the end of the conversation, we had decided to make and exchange Summers Brothers Care Bears.

(I also ended up making a tiny Captain America bear, which astute readers will recognize as a panel-accurate replica of the Captain America bear Cyclops canonically owns, which appeared for one panel sometime in the late ’90s. Jean won it for him at a fair. Comics are great, y’all.)

ANYWAY, here are some process photos and notes. ENJOY!

The only remotely appropriately colored Care Bear was Grumpy Bear. I feel pretty okay about that.

Eyes.

Care Bear eyes are riveted in. Fortunately, I had help from my friend Dave, who owns…

…a drill press!

Since the lights were smaller than the actual eyes, I threw on a few coats of red paint once we had ’em out.

Seriously, I have never identified more closely with Mister Sinister.

And here’s Cyclops Bear, reassembled!

Still not lasers.

The visor is part of a leftover container from Rite-Aid. The actual lens is cut from a ski visor.

Finished Cyclops and Cap bears.

The Cap Bear’s single canon appearance.

The Summers Bears united. Cyclops and Cap stayed in New York with Tea; Havok relocated to the Pacific Northwest with me, presumably to finish his dissertation. For some reason this photo WILL NOT display upright.

UPDATE: Tea just sent me a slew of Havok Bear process photos and notes, so those will be up next week!

Also, since I forgot to link it initially, you can see both bears in action in this video review!