Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Month: December 2014

The 2014 Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence in X-Cellence (and Coloring Contest)

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corbeau

While the Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence in X-Cellence* officially made their debut in last week’s Giant-Size Special, we wanted to take a moment to revisit them: the X-books, creators, and concepts that rocked our year.

Also, there is a coloring contest.

If your name–or a project to which you contributed–appears on the list below,** and you would like an actual, physical Corbeau Award to hang on your wall, please drop us a line, and we will make and mail you one. It will be beautiful and classy as hell, it will definitely involve some glitter glue.

And so, without further ado, it is out great pleasure to present:

THE 2014 SUPER DOCTOR ASTRONAUT PETER CORBEAU AWARDS FOR EXCELLENCE IN X-CELLENCE!

  • Best X-Writer – Brian Michael Bendis, for Uncanny X-Men, All-New X-Men, and general line architecture
  • Best X-Artist – Kris Anka, for Uncanny X-Men and general visual and costuming impact
  • Best X-Colorist – Chris Sotomayor, for Cyclops
  • Best X-Letterer (Now and Forever) – Tom Orzechowski, for everything ever forever
  • Jean Grey Award for Creative Resurrection – Nightcrawler (Amazing X-Men)
  • Best New Character – Forget-Me-Not (X-Men Legacy #300)
  • Best Complete Arc – Cyclops #1-5, by Greg Rucka, Russell Dauterman, Chris Sotomayor, Carmen Carnero, et. al.
  • Best Soap Opera – All-New X-Men, by Brian Michael Bendis et. al.
  • Silver Lining Award – Death of Wolverine: The Logan Legacy #4, by Marguerite Bennett, Juan Doe, et. al.
  • Golden Retcon – X-Men: Days of Future Past
  • Irene Adler Award for Most Anticipated Future Run – G. Willow Wilson onX-Men
  • About Damn Time – Storm, by Greg Pak et. al.
  • Cyclops Has a Good Day Award – Wolverine and the X-Men #40, by Jason Aaron, Pepe Larraz, et. al.
  • Best Listeners of Any Podcast Ever – YOU**

CLASSIC CORBEAUS (for older X-material covered in the podcast during 2014)

  • Harvey and Janet Award for Best Walk-On – The staff and guests of the Heartbreak Hotel
  • Lost Treasure – Beauty and the Beast, by Ann Nocenti, Don Perlin, et. al.
  • Sure, Why Not? – The Leprechauns of Cassidy Keep
  • Still the Best Issue After All These Years – Uncanny X-Men vol. 1 #137

*Did you know you can just straight-up make up your own awards and give them to whomever you want? The Internet is awesome, y’all.


**LOOK! IT’S A COLORING CONTEST!

Listeners, while we love you dearly, we do not love you quite enough to make and mail all roughly ten-thousand of you your own Corbeaus. If you want a Corbeau of your very own, you’ve got two options:

1) Make your own, using the art below. We officially certify that it will be official and the Real Deal, and if anyone challenges you on that, we will glare meaningfully in their direction.

2) Show us your coloring skills. That’s right. It’s a CORBEAU COLORING CONTEST. Color the following image using in any medium you want: digital art, crayons, spray-painted macaroni–the sky is the limit. E-mail us a picture of your work at xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com, with the subject line CORBEAU COLORING CONTEST, by January 14 January 21. The listener whose Corbeau comes closest to the transcendent perfection of its namesake will receive a physical Corbeau–glitter glue and all–to hoard privately or share with their remaining nine-thousand-odd peers at their discretion.

corbeau

 

Alternately, Rachel made this in Blingee. Use it as you see fit:

corbeau_blingee

As Mentioned in Episode 37 – Giant-Size Special #1

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints available until 1/15 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Well, that’s a hell of an opening. (God Loves, Man Kills)
Remember when Kitty Pryde was scrappy as hell? (God Loves, Man Kills)
We just really love this dialogue. (God Loves, Man Kills)
In which Xavier and Stryker do their best Carter/Reagan. (God Loves, Man Kills)
TEAMWORK! (God Loves, Man Kills)
Whoa. (God Loves, Man Kills)
OH, HELL, YES. (God Loves, Man Kills)
Classic. (God Loves, Man Kills)
If only this had involved his magnetic personality. But no. Just slightly different torture. (God Loves, Man Kills)
WELL, THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY. (God Loves, Man Kills)
Stryker is such a Bond villain. (God Loves, Man Kills)
Um. Wow. (God Loves, Man Kills)
Magneto is so awesome in this story. (God Loves, Man Kills)
Can we talk about how Brent Anderson is one of the all-time great unsung X-artists? Because he really is. (God Loves, Man Kills)
CHARLES, NOOOOOO (God Loves, Man Kills)
Nightcrawler, you lovable scamp. (God Loves, Man Kills)
“It’s okay! He put it back!” (God Loves, Man Kills)
Damn, Stryker. That’s cold.
Cyclops solves problems with ricochets! Take a drink! (God Loves, Man Kills)
He’s not wrong, but damn. (God Loves, Man Kills)
Even if you’ve not read the book, you’ve probably seen this moment referenced at least once. (God Loves, Man Kills)
We have fairly different feelings about the strengths and weaknesses of this layout, but we agree that it is damn stylish. (God Loves, Man Kills)
Didn’t mention this in the episode, but it’s kind of amazing how directly this penultimate scene visually echoes Xavier’s earlier mid-brainwashing encounter with Stryker. (God Loves, Man Kills)
Next Week: Rachel and Chris Sims X-Plain Arcade!

THE 2014 SUPER DOCTOR ASTRONAUT PETER CORBEAU AWARDS FOR EXCELLENCE IN X-CELLENCE

corbeau

  • Best X-Writer – Brian Michael Bendis, for Uncanny X-Men, All-New X-Men, and general line architecture
  • Best X-Artist – Kris Anka, for Uncanny X-Men and general visual and costuming impact
  • Best X-Colorist – Chris Sotomayor, for Cyclops
  • Best X-Letterer (Now and Forever) – Tom Orzechowski, for everything ever forever
  • Jean Grey Award for Creative Resurrection – Nightcrawler (Amazing X-Men)
  • Best New Character – Forget-Me-Not (X-Men Legacy #300)
  • Best Complete Arc – Cyclops #1-5, by Greg Rucka, Russell Dauterman, Chris Sotomayor, Carmen Carnero, et. al.
  • Best Soap Opera – All-New X-Men, by Brian Michael Bendis et. al.
  • Silver Lining Award – Death of Wolverine: The Logan Legacy #4, by Marguerite Bennett, Juan Doe, et. al.
  • Golden Retcon – X-Men: Days of Future Past
  • Irene Adler Award for Most Anticipated Future Run – G. Willow Wilson on X-Men
  • About Damn Time – Storm, by Greg Pak et. al.
  • Cyclops Has a Good Day Award – Wolverine and the X-Men #40, by Jason Aaron, Pepe Larraz, et. al.
  • Best Listeners of Any Podcast Ever – YOU*

*Details of the Corbeau Coloring Contest will go up on Monday, because Rachel’s parents are visiting this weekend. We appreciate your patience.

 

CLASSIC CORBEAUS (for older X-material covered in the podcast during 2014)

  • Harvey and Janet Award for Best Walk-On – The staff and guests of the Heartbreak Hotel
  • Lost Treasure – Beauty and the Beast, by Ann Nocenti, Don Perlin, et. al.
  • Sure, Why Not? – The Leprechauns of Cassidy Keep
  • Still the Best Issue After All These Years – Uncanny X-Men vol. 1 #137

LINKS AND ADDITIONAL READING

37 – Giant-Size Special #1

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Art by David Wynne. Prints available until 1/15 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints available until 1/15 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which we launch our first-ever giant-size special; God Loves, Man Kills is the definitive X-Men story; Bobby makes his R&MXtXM on-air debut; we repopulate the world with X-writers; Rachel is really excited about x-plaining X-Cutioner’s Song; Miles takes a strong stance on Wolverine’s mask; we award some awards; and it’s all your fault.

 

X-Plained

  • God Loves, Man Kills (Marvel Graphic Novel #5)
  • William Stryker
  • An inappropriate analogy
  • Keeping it interesting
  • Favorite episodes
  • Bridging the fan/critic divide
  • Our ongoing obsession with bit characters
  • The challenge of keeping Charles Xavier relevant
  • X-Planation Curation
  • Several stories we’re really looking forward to covering
  • X-Writers on a desert island
  • Internet fights
  • Favorite stories vs. best stories
  • Stupid hats of the Marvel Universe
  • Dr. Doom as Tim Gunn
  • Havok vs. ceiling fans
  • Educational standards of the Marvel Universe
  • The First Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence in X-Cellence

NEXT WEEK: Rachel and Chris Sims X-Plain Arcade

CORRECTION: In this episode, Rachel claims that there is only one Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau in the Marvel Multiverse. This is patently untrue. There are numerous versions of Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau in the Marvel Multiverse, who may or may not be able to combine Voltron-style into a giant Corbeau Singularity.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Rachel and Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 19

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Week of December 24, 2014

In which we sneak out of Christmas to review funnybooks, and Sixis finally (finally!) ends.

Reviewed:

  • All-New X-Factor #18 (0:33)
  • Axis #9 (2:37)
  • All-New X-Men Annual #1 (3:51)
  • *Uncanny X-Men #29 (5:56)
  • Death of Wolverine: The Logan Legacy #7 (8:08)
  • Cyclops #8 (10:24)
  • Magneto #13 (12:16)

*Pick of the Week (14:31)

Video reviews are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Because You Demanded It: X-Men Last-Minute Gift Guide

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Art by Sal Buscema and Karl Bollers, Marvel Holiday Special 1994 one-shot (1994)
Art by Sal Buscema and Karl Bollers, Marvel Holiday Special 1994 one-shot (1994)

HI, LISTENERS! Some of you have been asking us to write an X-Men holiday gift guide. We think it’s very thoughtful of you to consider purchasing gifts for fictional characters, and to help you out, we have created this handy last-minute guide! Click through for our picks for Beast, Shadowcat, and six more…

THE COMPLETE GUMBY

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FOR: Beast. We already know Hank McCoy is a fan of Art Clokey’s weird green guy–in fact, back in his Defenders days, he used to collect and trade bootleg Gumby VHSs (seriously–it’s canon). Modern Beast has been having a rough time; give him an excuse to unwind with seven disks’ worth of psychedelic claymation, and maybe a plate of pot brownies.

(And now we’re imagining a stoner comedy starring Hank McCoy and Abigail Brand. MARVEL. CALL US.)

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WHAT HE’D PREFER: Moral certitude.

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BACKUP GIFT:Dr. Strange: A Separate Reality, by Steve Englehart and Frank Brunner, because you know Beast would be super into a comic about a buddy of his that two dudes literally wrote while wandering around Central Park tripping balls in the middle of the night.

RIP IT: HOW TO DECONSTRUCT AND RECONSTRUCT THE CLOTHES OF YOUR DREAMS, BY ELISSA MYRICH

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FOR: Shadowcat. The X-Men’s most die-hard superfashionista can always use another tool in her arsenal–after all, you never know when you’ll find yourself hankering for a new costume with no Shi’ar tech in sight.

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WHAT SHE’D PREFER: A canonical girlfriend.

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BACKUP GIFT: The Complete Elfquest, vol. 1.

MAGNUM, P.I.’S SIGNATURE HAWAIIAN SHIRT

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FOR: Sunspot. I mean, Bobby da Costa probably already owns one of these, or six, but you can really never have too many backup Magnum, P.I. shirts, right?

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WHAT HE’D PREFER: To actually be Magnum, P.I.

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BACKUP GIFT: A signed pinup of Tom Selleck.

THE REQUISITE UGLY HOLIDAY SWEATER

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FOR: Cyclops. Left to his own devices, Scott Summers basically dresses like a six-year-old and has a long tradition of happily sporting really, really horrible sweaters; so you know he’ll at least get some use from it. (Plus, if he hates it, he’ll probably be too polite to say anything.)

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WHAT HE’D PREFER: A world in which he’s functionally irrelevant.

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BACKUP GIFT: Socks.

ERROL FLYNN FILM COLLECTION

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FOR: Nightcrawler. Kurt Wagner is a huge Errol Flynn fan, to the point of modifying his image inducer to reproduce the visage of the classic swashbuckler; so he’s sure to enjoy a boxed set of Flynn’s most famous films.

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WHAT HE’D PREFER: A soul.

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BACKUP GIFT: A collection of John Donne sonnets.

LOCAS: THE MAGGIE AND HOPIE STORIES, BY JAIME HERNANDEZ

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FOR: Magik. I have no actual narrative justification for this. I just think Magik would really dig some Love & Rockets.

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WHAT SHE’D PREFER: Nothing your fragile mortal mind can grasp, kid.

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BACKUP GIFT: A iPod preloaded with pop-culture nostalgia podcasts. For someone who runs with the unusually pop-savvy New Mutants, Illyana has spent relatively little of her life with any kind of media access.

CLASSIC X-MEN PVC SET

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FOR: Iceman. Bobby Drake is all about original-five nostalgia, and he’s kind of a goofball, so he would probably enjoy the hell out of this X-Men PVC set, featuring the original team, Professor X, and Magneto (and one of the better Iceman sculpts out there).

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WHAT HE’D PREFER: For Professor X to still be alive and everyone to be friends again.

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BACKUP GIFT: An Elsa tiara.

ALL SEVEN SEASONS OF DESIGNING WOMEN

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FOR: Rogue. Look, Rogue does not need another pair of fancy gloves. What Rogue needs is seven seasons of the most badass, progressive, Bechdel-test-acing Southern-lady sitcom of all time.

.

WHAT SHE’D PREFER: A three-day bender with Julia Sugarbaker, and maybe conscious control over her powers.

.

BACKUP GIFT: Another pair of fancy gloves.

As Mentioned in Episode 36 – Steal This Podcast

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints available in the shop until 12/28, or contact David for the original!
We would really like this cover as a wall-size mural in hour home. ( #1)
Look, dude, you don’t have to like the music, but show some respect. ( #1)
OH HELL YES ( #1)
Lila Motherfuckin’ Cheney. ( #1)
Sam Guthrie is not only the politest minion, he’s the politest superhero. ( #1)
Teleportation by rockin’ guitar solo? YES, PLEASE. ( #1)
Let’s just go ahead and add Larry Niven references to the drinking game, shall we? ( #1)
Warlock takes cosplay really seriously. ( #1)
We’re not entirely sure how Lila Cheney is not a supervillain, but we’ll run with it. ( #1)
AW ( #1)
Remember Kitty’s Fairy Tale? Welcome to Illyana’s Space Opera! ( #8)
It’s s’mores-and-thinly-veiled-allegories night at the X-mansion! ( #8)
That’s a pretty sweet title page, there. ( #8)
Can we talk about Nightcrawler’s amazing disco pirate outfit? ( #8)
Montage! ( #8)
You know what to do. ( #8)
In case there was any doubt that Illyana is basically just mashing up every piece of pop culture she’s encountered… ( #8)
DRAGON SEX. ( #8)
Well, that got weird fast. ( #8)
Some long-awaited resolution. ( #8)
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE ( #8)
Not actually episode-relevant, but we’re gonna take a moment to indulge Rachel’s lettering-geek need to drool over this gorgeous credits bar. ( #8)
Next Week: Giant-Size Special #1–and, at long last, God Loves, Man Kills!

Links:

36 – Steal This Podcast

8 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Lila Cheney Wembley 84
Art by David Wynne. Prints available in the shop until 12/28, or contact David for the original!

In which we play Six Degrees of Lila Cheney; Cannonball gets a makeover; Earth does not in fact blow up; the X-Men like their s’mores with thinly veiled allegories; and Magik dabbles in erotic friend fiction.

X-Plained:

  • Strong Guy
  • Annuals
  • New Mutants Annual #1 (Steal This Planet)
  • Lila Cheney
  • Both versions of Cats Laughing
  • The Vrakanain
  • Chris Claremont Book Club
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #8 (The Adventures of Lockheed the Space Dragon and His Pet Girl Kitty)
  • Some dubious campfire games
  • Illyana’s Space Opera
  • Space pirate X-Men
  • Some long-awaited resolution

NEXT WEEK: Rachel and Miles’s Giant-Size Special #1, featuring God Loves, Man Kills!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

 

Rachel and Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 18

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Week of December 17, 2014

In which it’s a good week for Iceman and Rachel is pretty much done with Sixis.

Reviewed:
Death of Wolverine: The Weapon X Program #4 (0:28)
Storm #6 (2:04)
Axis #8 (4:15)
Axis: Revolutions #4 (5:55)
*All-New X-Men #34 (8:50)

*Pick of the week (11:31)

Video reviews are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!