Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

485 – The House of Correction

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In which we go back to the future of Generation X; Jay once again gets pedantic about lettering; Generation X takes on the carceral state; we take a deep dive into the late ‘90s; Jubilee does her best Nick Fury; and superpowers should be noisier.

X-PLAINED:

  • Earth-14042
  • Marvel Disk Wars: The Avengers
  • Generation X #63-66
  • Revolution and Counter X (more) (again)
  • An evil Oyster
  • Warden Coffin
  • The Decency Defecit
  • Some shit we wish was fictional
  • Underpants
  • Souped up powers
  • Newsgroups
  • The Columbine school shooting
  • The Grid
  • Cable vs. ISDN Internet
  • Jonathan Somers
  • Generation X’s new costumes
  • The House of Correction
  • Hacking
  • Trophies
  • Baxter
  • ‘90s X-Men outside of comics
  • How superpowers sound

NEXT EPISODE: Mutant X May begins!

The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 484 – Hell Tuba

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A miniseries based on a miniseries! (X-Men: Magik #1)
What are we looking at? Not sure. Is it rad? Definitely. (X-Men: Magik #1)
To paraphrase: it doesn’t have to be practical if it’s AWESOME. (X-Men: Magik #1)
Not the most efficient way to blow up a bunch of Teslas, but certainly stylish. (X-Men: Magik #1)
Only one of them got the note about the dress code. But which? (X-Men: Magik #1)
The Battle for Hell’s Deep. (X-Men: Magik #1)
So, like, what if the sky broke and then cut off your goddamned head, is my question (X-Men: Magik #2)
Everyone’s outfits are very long. (X-Men: Magik #2)
Did we mention that this series is in a hell dimension? (X-Men: Magik #2)
(Pushes up Norse glasses:) Technically, Surtur’s sword Twilight would only be on fire if he’d entered Asgard upon the day of Ragnarök, and… (X-Men: Magik #2)
And then sometimes the art is suddenly beautiful. (X-Men: Magik #2)
(wailing guitar solo) (X-Men: Magik #2)
I now pronounce you Hell-Lord and Sorceress! (X-Men: Magik #3)
Hey, tell us more about Lord Militant Phemous and his Huscarls! (X-Men: Magik #3)
Meanwhile, in the Hell-actic Senate… (X-Men: Magik #3)
You get out of the sky and finish your evil-chrome-skeleton-god dinner this instant, young man! (X-Men: Magik #3)
All hail the Hell Tuba! (X-Men: Magik #4)
Welp, there you have it. (X-Men: Magik #4)
Hey, it’s Death’s Head II! Hi, Death’s Head II! (X-Men: Magik #4)
I’m pretty sure Judas Priest has a song about this. (X-Men: Magik #4)
We need to start a metal band just so we can use this as an album cover. (X-Men: Magik #4)
The last day of summer camp is always bittersweet. (X-Men: Magik #4)
NEXT TIME: Generation X versus that thing!

484 – Hell Tuba

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In which the 2000 Magik miniseries is not a good comics series but is an excellent heavy metal concept album; Nightmare has a nightmare; and tubas work differently in Hell.

X-PLAINED:

  • Belasco: the early years
  • Magik (2000 series) #1-4
  • Magik (Amanda Sefton) (Jimaine Szardos) (more) (again)
  • Some art stuff
  • The realm of Nightmare
  • The Splinter Realms
  • The Soul Sword (Amanda Sefton version)
  • An Archfiend of the Pit
  • Nugent
  • Chekhov’s Hell computer (and its secretions)
  • Kurt Wagner’s short and bizarre career in the church
  • Vitchen
  • Several cool demon battles
  • The Dread Dormammu
  • Gleeg
  • A problem
  • Muspelheim
  • Twilight (sword)
  • Some Mephisto nonsense
  • Hades, maybe
  • Epithets
  • A convocation
  • Weird Hell guys
  • Duke Bleys
  • The Archenemy
  • The Hell Tuba
  • The most demonic brass instrument
  • Some time travel bullshit
  • Stories where Emma Frost is at her best
  • Villain reuse

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X gets new threads!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 483 – Piotr Lovely Locks

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I appreciate that Shadowcat’s new costume involves her perpetually flipping the (very sharp) bird. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
I mean, it could be worse – you could be Colossus. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
[Epic metal begins] (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
Is Nightcrawler trying to distract from his awful new color scheme by diving at the reader crotch-first? (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
A different look than usual, but I’m not mad at it. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
SEEMS FINE. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
Except that one time! And kind of that other time! (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
Chekhov’s removable skeleton. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
I mean, we’re not not going to show the shattered-moon-and-mountain-of-skulls every time it comes up. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
Magik x-plains the miniseries. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
After this, Warren will be required to take a Defensive Swooping class. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
Oof – right in the outfit! (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
(bonk) (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
A warm welcome back to Polaris’s chest-skull! (X-Men: Black Sun #3)
“Listen, it’s not my fault I’ve been a terrible boyfriend to every woman I’ve dated! And it definitely doesn’t imply anything!” (X-Men: Black Sun #3)
“Hey! That’s my favorite nipple you almost cut off!” (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
Dude needs to hydrate. (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
We’d normally say not to mess with perfection, but that’s not a bad evolution of the Phoenix costume! (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
Now that’s a demon. Well, Ru’tai. (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
The origin of Magik’s bare midriff! (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
You’re missing a bloodstone and a Banshee! (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
Paging Doctor Belmont… (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
Way better than throwing a Poké Ball. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
Hey, now there are SIX bloodstones! At least Belasco’s throne is rad. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
From the Arcane Tome of Evil Fashion. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
BOOM! (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
What if Magik was She-Ra? (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
NEXT TIME: Magik gets metal.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

483 – Piotr Lovely Locks

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In which a lot has happened in the Six Month Gap (and we even get to learn about some of it); we’d missed Claremontian narration; Miles has questions about Colossus’s ponytail; the Soulsword is basically a Poké Ball; the Shadow Pope is cooler than the regular Pope; and Magik has a secret.

X-PLAINED:

  • Some big news
  • X-Men: Black Sun #1-5
  • Phoenix and Psylocke’s sorta-power-swap
  • Implied continuity
  • The N’Garai
  • Belasco
  • Limbo
  • Magik (Illyana Rasputin)
  • New costumes
  • Priests vs blood magic
  • An impressively overcomplicated evil plot
  • Chekhov’s skeleton
  • Body swaps and/or possession
  • Thunderbird (Neal Sharra)
  • Pilgrimm and the Ru’tai (again, surprisingly)
  • Astral meetups
  • Confusing bloodstone math
  • A Triple-Tech
  • Magik (Amanda Sefton)
  • Counting X-generations
  • Our favorite X-decades

NEXT EPISODE: More Magik!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 482 – The Mutant Gene for Murder

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“Mr. Wisdom would have wanted me to show this much chest.” (X-Force #106)
A fitting tribute from Romany Wisdom (Mark II). (X-Force #106)
Come on, Cable totally would have trained X-Force on Robert’s Rules of Order. (X-Force #106)
“Well, you’re looking at a version of it that doesn’t yet have nearly enough black leather.” (X-Force #106)
Upon further consideration: yeah, Meltdown totally designed all of these. (X-Force #107)
Bedlam’s new powers! (X-Force #107)
Meltdown’s new powers! (X-Force #107)
Proudstar’s new powers! (X-Force #107)
“You see, I have the mutant gene for murder.” (X-Force #107)
Domino understood the fashion assignment. (X-Force #108)
Remember, you can shoot the eyeball for double damage. (X-Force #108)
Spy stuff. (X-Force #108)
First you murder all of the children at this birthday party, and then you have the gall to criticize the host’s baking? (X-Force #108)
Meet these guys! But don’t get too attached. (X-Force #108)
But that doesn’t… it looks nothing like… ah, never mind. (X-Force #108)
You can read the entirety of New Mutants and X-Force as the history of Cannonball learning to turn. (X-Force #109)
I bet he’s using his Cable voice for this threat. (X-Force #109)
Tsung has probably seen The Matrix like, a lot. (X-Force #109)
That’s our Tabitha! (X-Force #109)
Mr. Giger sends his regards. (X-Force #109)
NEXT TIME: Claremont’s back!

482 – The Mutant Gene for Murder

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In which Pete Wisdom canonically smells weird; we are inordinately entertained by a villain; everyone levels up their superpowers; and you probably shouldn’t shave the logo of your secret super team into the side of your head.

X-PLAINED:

  • Nasty Boys disambiguation
  • X-Force #106-109
  • Counter X (more) (again)
  • Shockwave (more) (again)
  • Turn-of-the-millennium cool
  • X-Force (more) (again)
  • How to dress for funerals, I guess?
  • How Pete Wisdom smells
  • Romany Wisdom (again)
  • Marcus Tsung
  • Mind bullets
  • Nightman
  • Our first audience challenge in a really long time
  • A bad nickname
  • X-Force’s new looks
  • A thing growing out of Domino’s back
  • Several enigmas shrouded in mystery
  • The worst birthday party
  • Abel, Baker, and Charlie
  • Fish
  • The Factory
  • Telepathic “voices”
  • The miracle of magnetism

NEXT EPISODE: The return of Chris Claremont!

LISTENERS! We want to hear your Marcus Tsung murder ballads! Send ‘em to [email protected] with the subject line MUTANT MURDER BALLAD, and we’ll stick ‘em on the web or play ‘em on the show!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 481 – Chekhov’s Butt-Gun

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In which Adrienne Frost flirts with a corpse. (Generation X #67)
Oh man, Monet’s left sock is going to be all wet and gross for the rest of the morning… (Generation X #67)
I used to love it when the cafeteria served GReeBo C back in high school. (Generation X #67)
I think those bullies were held back a few years… like maybe 30 or so. (Generation X #67)
Just some really fun faces on this page. (Generation X #67)
NO PRETTY BOYS. (Generation X #67)
It’s like a romance comic cover exploded! (Generation X #68)
Hey, that shirt’s just painted on! (Generation X #68)
Teens are the worst, Jubilee. (Generation X #68)
“And I assure you, that’s far from the most dangerous thing in this skirt.” (Generation X #68)
Everyone reacts to bad news in their own way. Penance’s way is to stick a Mjolnir sticker to her face. (Generation X #68)
Well shit. (Generation X #68)
The snowy calm before the fiery storm. (Generation X #69)
“The Leprechauns of Cassidy Keep never gave me this much grief.” (Generation X #69)
What fighting game is this supposed to be?! And don’t say Ninja Boogie! (Generation X #69)
Effortless. (Generation X #69)
What is this, Black Friday? (Generation X #70)
Kid’s got a point, Sean. (Generation X #70)
You really feel the crush of humanity in this issue. (Generation X #70)
Everett Thomas: hero ’til the end. (Generation X #70)
Bye, Adrienne. See ya never. (Generation X #70)
Left-to-right, the answers will be: make bad decisions as part of X-Factor, become a vampire mom, have sex with Angel in the sky above Ma Guthrie, get crucified on the X-Mansion’s lawn, and find out you’re a descendent of Apocalypse. (Generation X #70)
NEXT TIME: X-Force goes Counter-X!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

481 – Chekhov’s Butt-Gun

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In which Adrienne Frost is absolutely terrible (and so was Ronald Reagan); you should not put guns in your butt; Synch deserved better; and Jay and Miles inventory their favorite dangling plot threads of the ‘90s.

X-PLAINED:

  • Several potential origins of Havok’s stupid hat
  • Generation X #67-70
  • Revolution (more) (again)
  • Shockwave (more) (again)
  • Adrienne Frost (more) (again)
  • The New Xavier School and/or Massachusetts Academy (more) (again)
  • Possible necrophilia
  • Dorm life
  • How not to draw clothing
  • Rules of entry to Jubilee’s dorm room
  • The Rich Person Store
  • How to say the word “consigliere”
  • The ‘90s
  • Blackmail
  • Limits of telepathy
  • Arson
  • Ninja Boogie
  • Panic
  • How to keep Synch safe
  • Adultification
  • Failure to keep Synch safe
  • Where to pick up to follow along with us
  • Plot threads we’d like to see picked back up

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force goes Counter-X!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 480 – Cross-Time Tattoo Parlor

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A non-dildo future. (X-Man #67)
That doesn’t seem healthy. (X-Man #67)
That really doesn’t seem healthy. (X-Man #67)
Wait, what? (X-Man #67)
It’s surprisingly hard to find a good panel of Nate’s full outfit. (X-Man #68)
Speaking of outfits, Queen Maddie knows how to dress for maximum drama! (X-Man #68)
Well, that can’t be good. (X-Man #68)
Oh, shit. (X-Man #68)
WHAT?! (X-Man #68)
This page is so cool. (X-Man #69)
Conversations with the dead. (X-Man #69)
Bad guys get the coolest cars. (X-Man #70)
Disaster averted. (X-Man #70)
Nate’s new look. (X-Man #70)
Probably for the best, really. (X-Man #70)
NEXT EPISODE: Shockwave comes to Generation X!

LINKS & FURTHER COMPLICATIONS