Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 422 – Cairn Touch This

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If your sick room isn’t a fire hazard, you’re doing it wrong. (X-Men #74)
Well, that’s not good. (X-Men #74)
He’s got a million of ’em. (X-Men #74)
Seriously, Hank, what the hell? (X-Men #75)
I LOVE THESE GUYS THEY ARE SO WEIRD (X-Men #75)
Wolverine has been up to some… stuff. (X-Men #75)
We’re not in Westchester anymore. (X-Men #75)
Hi, Pilgrimm! (X-Men #75)
Hi, Magneto! (X-Men #76)
Hi, Eany and Meany! (X-Men #76)
It is rough to be Maggott. (X-Men #76)
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur isn’t over (quite) yet!

422 – Cairn Touch This

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In which the X-Men’s membership is a complicated subject; not all angels know each other; we need to talk about Beast’s Wasp costume; Cecilia Reyes speaks for all reasonable folk; Storm gets a mysterious package; and reading comics day-and-date may not be for everyone.

X-PLAINED:

  • The variable loyalties of the N’garai
  • X-Men #74-76
  • A somewhat atypical team lineup
  • A whole lotta backstory
  • How to join the X-Men
  • Warren Kenneth Worthington III as a religious figure
  • Flechette clean-up
  • Teenage drama
  • Detective Jim Logan
  • A lot of murder
  • The N’garai
  • Beast’s Wasp costume
  • Explanatory captions for real life
  • The Ru’tai
  • Pilgrimm
  • Mai’Keth the Undying One
  • The Eye of Kierokk
  • Maggott’s secret origins
  • X-Men cartoons for a 7-year-old
  • Reckoning with loss in comics

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur rushes toward its conclusion

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As Mentioned in Episode 411 – Tearaway Pants

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When you meet a straight couple, you should ask them which is the Nic Cage and which is the John Travolta. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Fuckssake, Warren. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Severe costume injuries. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Logan’s skiing / beat poetry outfit. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
After thirty years, Warren finally gets a gun, I guess. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
SERIOUSLY, HOW DO THEY RECOGNIZE IT?! (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Much like Gambit, I hallucinate a team of X-Men insulting me at all times. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
Hydro-Man. He sure is. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
Jean Grey advocates for change. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
Aw. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
See, they body-swapped because of carpet static and… y’know what? Just watch Gravity Falls. You won’t regret it.
NEXT EPISODE: Back to the core!

411 – Tearaway Pants

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In which we actually kind of like a Sabretooth story; we’re not asking for viscera, here; all pants on Earth-616 are tearaway pants; we’d like to see more Wolverine stories about bodily autonomy; Gambit’s hallucinations have hallucinations; and there are probably too many X-books.

X-PLAINED:

  • Punch-clock villains
  • Hydro-Man’s secret weakness
  • 411
  • ‘90s fashion
  • X-Men Unlimited #17-18
  • X-Men Unlimited vs. annuals
  • A difficult casting decision
  • Forge’s neutralizer gun
  • Costume injuries
  • Color symbolism? Kinda? I guess?
  • Mrs. Hoo
  • Saberine & Wolvertooth
  • Warren Kenneth Worthington III vs. shirts
  • How to dress for Earth-616
  • Hot buttered whatever
  • Boob foliage
  • Clones
  • Very tenacious blood stains
  • The return of the Angry Claremontean Narrator
  • Lots of hallucinations
  • Oscar the Fixer
  • Hydro-Man
  • Redemption, symbolic and otherwise
  • The evolution of Magneto’s name
  • Our ideal X-line

NEXT EPISODE: Back to the core!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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363 – Licked by a Shadow

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which standing in fields looking confused is a way of life; Psylocke gets a new superpower; when you gotta confess you gotta confess; Iceman’s dad stands up for justice; we mourn a Sentinel; and it’s probably a good thing that most companies don’t do mind melds as a team-building exercise.

X-PLAINED:

  • Levels of mutant power
  • Omicron-level mutations
  • Miles’s brief baseball career
  • Uncanny X-Men #338
  • X-Men #58
  • X-Men Annual 1996
  • Archangel’s wings
  • Joseph vs. Holographic Magneto
  • Shadow teleportation
  • The errand theory of confession
  • Graydon Creed (more) (again)
  • “Drake Roberts” and “Samson Guthry”
  • Several ways to memorialize the Mutant Massacre
  • Onslaught, but an anteater
  • A fight
  • Several JJJ cameos
  • X-baseball games
  • A highly atypical Sentinel
  • Several oblique warnings
  • X-Men ‘97
  • Media inspired by the X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Pryde & Wisdom

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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321 – Revolving Doors

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Sabretooth does not get effectively rehabilitated; nobody has the moral high ground; Val Cooper is the worst possible person to call in any emergency; Bishop needs a better support system; Jay knows several things about onions; and not everything has to be a mammal.

X-PLAINED:

  • Sabretooth (more) (again)
  • X-Force #48
  • Uncanny X-Men #328
  • Sabretooth Special #1
  • Bunny slippers
  • An intervention
  • Stages of grief
  • What not to do with Sabretooth
  • An evil squirrel
  • Onions
  • The three genders
  • Mutant Massacre callbacks
  • Caption disambiguation problems
  • The overabundance of boobs on fictional non-mammalian species

NEXT EPISODE: INTO THE CLONE ZONE!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 363 – Licked by a Shadow

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
It’s hard to be Warren Kenneth Worthington III. (Uncanny X-Men #338)
Hey, feathers! (Uncanny X-Men #338)
Peep those teeny peepers! (Uncanny X-Men #338)
YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN? SHE’S TOTALLY POUNCING ON PSYLOCKE! (Uncanny X-Men #338)
That’s our J. Jonah Jameson! (Uncanny X-Men #338)
Guys. GUYS. (Uncanny X-Men #338)
Ouch. (X-Men #58)
In which William Drake has a rare moment of conscience. (X-Men #58)
Rogue can’t sleep without dramatic irony. (X-Men #58)
“What do kids like these days? Dirtbikes, right?) (X-Men Annual 1996)
Well, that’ll ruin a baseball game. (X-Men Annual 1996)
Aw, man. (X-Men Annual 1996)
Can we discuss the apparent existence of X-Beer? (X-Men Annual 1996)
ALLL RIIIGHT indeed. (X-Men Annual 1996)
LOOK AT ALL THOSE X-MANS! (X-Men Annual 1996)
NEXT EPISODE: Pryde & Wisdom

As Mentioned in Episode 321 – Revolving Doors

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Damn, those bunny slippers are intense.(X-Force #48)
Please note that Siryn has her own personal breeze. (X-Force #48)
“Y… you’re not?” (X-Force #48)
Large. (Uncanny X-Men #328)
LARGE. (Uncanny X-Men #328)
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU FIRST-AID A MAJOR ABDOMINAL WOUND (Uncanny X-Men #328)
We may never know why Professor X chose to install Cerebro in a Multi-Axis Trainer, but he certainly appears to have done so. (Sabretooth Special #1)
Dang, that’s a lot of drop shadows. (Sabretooth Special #1)
Deja vu all over again. We may never know why Professor X chose to install Cerebro in a Multi-Axis Trainer, but he certainly appears to have done so. (Sabretooth Special #1)
NEXT EPISODE: INTO THE CLONE ZONE!

236 – Baggage of Traumas Past (Fatal Attractions, Part 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Decimation was kind of sketchy; you should definitely come see us in Seattle; Wolverine has a rough day; Colossus has yet another rough day; Excalibur plans for the future; and Fatal Attractions comes to a close.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Professor X got his groove and/or powers back
  • Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con
  • Wolverine #75
  • Excalibur #71
  • Psychic trauma
  • High-stakes references
  • The personal Ragnarok of a shattered soul
  • A really effective sound effect
  • The first day of the rest of Logan’s life
  • Butterflies of the Xavier School
  • Muir Island’s psychiatric ward
  • Medical consent
  • The worst bar, probably
  • Professorial disambiguation
  • What Micromax and Kyluun are probably definitely up to
  • Several variably awkward Grey-Summers family reunions
  • A betrayal
  • Amelia Voght
  • Unuscione
  • Katu
  • The future of Excalibur
  • Proactive superheroism
  • How not to make a White Russian
  • Shadowcat’s recovery post-Mutant Massacre
  • Our etymological destinies

NEXT EPISODE: It’s time to get X-TREME!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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204 – Naughty By Nurture

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In which Jay runs away to Latveria (but Hub is here to save the day!); you shouldn’t eat the brown promethium; Magneto and Cap fight over the world’s tiniest man; Rom is somewhat set in his ways; all anyone in the 616 really wants out of a disguise is plausible deniability; and Hub was inside your heart all along (and you might want to see a doctor about that).

X-PLAINED:

  • Several Limbos
  • Captain America Annual #4
  • Captain America vs. Magneto
  • The return of the theoretical Magnetostache
  • The Great Mutant Massacre (but not that one)
  • Drunk-at-a-wedding Magneto
  • Mister One
  • Mister Two
  • Ghost Writer
  • Peeper
  • Lifter
  • Burner
  • Slither
  • Shocker
  • Skin suffocation
  • Rom #17-18
  • The Toy Collector
  • Dick Warlock, revisited, more, again
  • Bill Mantlo
  • Rom: Spaceknight
  • Dire Wraiths
  • The secret lives of inanimate objects
  • Brandy Clark and Steve Jackson
  • Jacob the Dire Wraith and His No-Good Son Jimmy
  • The smell of evil
  • Swiss army eyeballs
  • Sidekicks for the Transformers

NEXT EPISODE: The Return of Rictor!

Special thanks to Emergency Back-Up Cohost Hub of Titan Up the Defense!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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